by Julia Bell
Jason was pleased and relieved when the others arrived home. He had spent three days on his own, either in the office, or sitting watching television. He had got through a phenomenal amount of work and felt pleased that the New Year would start with no backlog whatsoever. He had tried to keep his mind free of any negative thoughts, but memories of Anna were harder to block out. She seemed to be everywhere.
Every room in the house echoed with her presence, but the bedroom was the worst. Her cosmetics and toiletries littered the dressing table and bathroom and her clothes still hung in the wardrobe. Alone in bed, he could almost imagine she was close since her perfume lingered on the pillow that he hugged every night. There was no doubt that he still loved her, even if he found it impossible to be with her. His dreams were filled with her and he would wake up in the early hours of the morning with a yearning that almost bordered on pain. He would remember her smile, her laugh, the way she walked, her wonderful passion when they made love and the sensual look on her face when she came. But then he would remember that she had given all that to another man and his heart would turn to stone.
Even so, when Mrs Thompson arrived and began to vacuum and polish the house and strip the beds, he feared that she would sweep away the memory and watched with mounting alarm as she removed the sheets that Anna and he had last shared. The bed wasn’t the same after that.
“So, what happens now?” asked Ben, as they sat down for lunch round the kitchen table.
Jason shrugged. “I’ll have to ring Graham and ask him for a new PA, I guess.”
“You’re not going to advertise like you did before?”
“No, I think there’s enough staff at the main office and someone might be willing to transfer here.”
Mrs Wilby looked around the kitchen. “It’ll be strange being without her.” She sighed sadly. “And everything seemed to be going so well for you both.”
Hollie had stayed quiet, taking small sips of her milk and nibbling at her lunch. Most of the adults’ conversation had gone over her head, but one thing she did understand and that was Anna was not coming back.
“Why don’t you go to Grandma Harrington’s and fetch her home?” she asked her father, when there was a lull in the discussion. “Then she can work in the office with you again.”
“Because Anna doesn’t live here any more, sweetie,” he said softly.
“Did she say she doesn’t want to live here?”
“Not exactly. We had an argument and it’s better if she stays with Grandma.”
“Whose fault was it? The argument.”
“No one’s fault. Grown ups fall out sometimes and then everything has to change.”
Hollie stood up, pushing her chair back with a grating noise that jarred everyone’s nerves. Anger creased her face. “No! It’s your fault! It’s always your fault!”
Her father reached out to her trying to bring some comfort. “No, Hollie. You don’t understand.”
She glared at him. “Yes, I do. You made her go away, just like you made me and Mummy go away!” Her dark eyes were liquid with tears. “And then Mummy got sick and died. And if Anna doesn’t come home she’ll get sick and die just like Mummy did!”
Jason felt startled, while Ben and Mrs Wilby exchanged worried glances. They had never seen her so distressed before, not even at her mother’s funeral.
“Anna’s not going to die. Come here, sweetie,” said her father, holding out his arms to her.
She stepped to one side as if she couldn’t bear to be near him. “I want you to go and get her! I want her to come home before God takes her soul to heaven.”
Jason shook his head in bewilderment. “You’ve got it all wrong. Anna is perfectly fine, nothing is going to happen to her and I can’t go and get her...”
“You could if you wanted to.” Hollie had now become completely distraught. “But you won’t cos you don’t want to. I hate you! I hate you!” She ran out of the kitchen and headed for her bedroom.
A stunned silence followed, as the adults tried to come to terms with what had just happened.
“I’ll go and see if she’s OK,” said Mrs Wilby, rising from her chair.
Jason stopped her. “No, this is my problem. I’d better sort it out.”
After he had left, Ben and Mrs Wilby remained silent, not daring to express their concerns. They knew that Anna had been an integral part of the household and without her, their life might be in danger of coming apart at the seams.
Jason phoned his mother that evening. He hadn’t been able to console Hollie who had spent the rest of the afternoon in tears. Only Ben had been able to persuade her to play outside on her new bike while there was still a bit of light left in the sky.
After a few minutes of conversation Jason asked hesitantly, “Is Anna OK?”
“She’s very well,” said Margaret.
He detected the cold tone in her voice. “I know you’re upset with me, but I had my reasons for leaving so abruptly.”
“Everyone at the party wanted to know where you were. I had to make excuses for you.”
“What did you tell them?”
“What could I tell them! That you’d been called away, of course.”
He bit his lip. “I’ll come and see you in a few weeks. I’ll bring Hollie with me.”
“Well, don’t forget to phone before you do. You know how busy I am.”
“I always phone before I make a visit, you know that!”
“Could you sort out Anna’s clothes and her other stuff. I’ll send John to pick them up.”
“Yes, I’ll…do that.” His heart lurched at the finality of everything. He paused before asking, “Did you tell Anna what I said about her job?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why not, for heaven’s sake!”
“Because circumstances have changed.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Anna has other plans,” she said nonchalantly.
“You mean she’s leaving the Grange?”
“She’s got a new job,” she said, avoiding the question.
“Already?”
“So, if you could send her P45 to me, I’ll make sure she gets it. Her new employer will want it as soon as possible.”
Jason put down the phone feeling stunned. So, Anna was leaving to start a new job. He wondered if she had plans to go back to Wakefield. It seemed incredible, but there again it was her home. Jason looked around the office in desperate loneliness.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“I’m sorry Miss Warren, but we can’t change the décor.”
The bride-to-be pursed her lips and quickly glanced round the ballroom. “Red and gold isn’t exactly me.”
“We can offer you the dining room for your reception if you wish. That has more muted tones.”
Miss Warren was still not impressed. “No, I don’t think so. It’s far too small.” She gave a theatrical sigh. “I think I’ll choose another venue if you don’t mind.”
Anna held the clipboard against her breast. “Well, that’s your prerogative, of course,” she smiled politely.
In the library, Anna threw the paperwork down on her desk and walked over to the window. Miss Warren and her intended were just getting into their car arguing fiercely. He obviously liked the place, thought Anna with amusement, but she is much more difficult to please. Margaret had been so right. Prospective brides could be a pain! Not all of them, of course. In the week since she had started the job, she had met one lovely young lady who glowed with enthusiasm. Hanging onto her fiancé’s arm, she had Ooh’d and Aha’d her way round the Grange, delighted with everything she saw. And Anna felt more confident now, adversity had made her stronger, despite her heartbreak and she was enjoying herself. She had a few ideas of her own to improve the system. She had a good rapport with the registrar and other officials needed to solemnise a marriage and she had established deals with two good catering companies. Irene might be happy to cook for twenty or thirty businessmen, but two hundred
wedding guests filled her with horror.
Anna smiled as she saw John pulling up in front of the main door and went out to meet him. He had just returned from Bishop Sutton after collecting her possessions and he carried them in, in three cases and four boxes. She was surprised that she owned so much, but at least she had some clothes now. For the last week she had been washing and wearing the same outfits over and over again.
The in-house staff had been informed of the situation and their discretion was promised, with also a reassurance that nothing would reach the ears of the part-time employees. Margaret’s speculations about Fran had proved to be absolutely correct. She thought it very romantic that Miss should want to hide from her sweetheart. It was a lovers’ tiff and nothing more, they all agreed. But neither Fran nor John and Irene knew about the baby yet. Margaret had suggested that that little morsel of news should remain a secret for as long as possible.
Anna had seen Doctor Orchard who had agreed that two positive pregnancy tests were conclusive and had arranged an appointment for her first visit with the midwife. His patient was strong and healthy and he could see no problems except for the fact it was a pregnancy many years after her last one.
John had said very little when he had arrived at Bishop Sutton to collect Anna’s possessions, simply concentrating on the job in hand. And subtle enquires by Jason about Anna’s new employment had been met with a noncommittal answer. Jason had not been able to bring himself to pack Anna’s clothes and when Mrs Wilby had kindly offered, he accepted it with relief.
Now the bedroom was devoid of all her possessions, Jason had found it difficult to sleep, tossing and turning until the early hours. And although she was constantly on his mind, his pride would not release him from his lonely prison.
A few days later, Jason was forced to ring Graham to ask for a new PA. To say that the financial director was surprised about the change of events was an understatement. He didn’t ask any intrusive questions but said that he would ask around for any volunteers. On the following Monday morning, Natalie arrived.
Tall and wiry and with a dour personality she was, nonetheless, a good worker. She and her family had moved into the neighbouring village and she thought it more convenient to travel the few miles to Bishop Sutton instead of into the city centre. However, she only took the job on condition that she worked a strict nine to five and definitely no weekends. Jason’s entreaties that lunch was part of the hospitality of his home was greeted with a grimace and a reassurance that she was quite happy to sit in the office eating her packed lunch.
“I’m surprised she accepts our coffee,” said Mrs Wilby sourly. “And you couldn’t buy a smile from her!”
In many ways, Jason was happy that Natalie kept herself apart from them. He didn’t want any gossip to reach her and then be passed on to the staff at the main office. There was some advantage in having an aloof PA even if her coolness seemed to chill the entire house. Sometimes he would forget that Anna was gone and would glance across the room expectantly. And then it was like a bullet hitting him when he saw Natalie sitting at the computer, instead of Anna. He missed her desperately, but even his grief couldn’t heal his wounded pride or soften his steadily hardening heart.
“What shall I do with Anna’s things?” Natalie’s monotone voice broke into his concentration.
Jason looked up, puzzled. “What things?”
“There’s a few items in the drawers. Not much, but they’re getting in my way.”
He gave a sigh. “Put them in a box and I’ll sort them out later.”
He was due to go on a business trip the following morning, the first since the New Year and he was very relieved to be getting away from the house for a few days. Perhaps throwing himself into the ruthless world of negotiating for contracts would focus his mind and give him an objective to aim for.
Natalie did as she was instructed and put Anna’s remaining possessions in a box previously containing stationery and placed it on Jason’s desk. That evening after dinner, he returned to the office to finish off for the trip and noticed the box. Slowly he went through it, smiling at the objects a woman kept in her desk drawer. There was some perfume, lipstick and a comb. There was hand cream, a small packet of mints and poignantly, the photo of Anna’s boys that Natalie had removed from the desk and shoved into the drawer. The one item that intrigued him was a diary from the year before. He didn’t want to pry but he found himself flicking through the pages of the final few months of 1996. Jason knew what he was looking for and the disgust he felt with himself churned up his stomach and made him feel ill.
He was relieved to find nothing untoward. He saw that she had a doctor’s appointment in early October and there were a few visits to Nigel. One appointment that caused him surprise was the one for Sophia Barnes in mid-December. It was written in capital letters and underlined. Jason thought it surprising that she should be seeing Sophia socially and yet, never mention it to him. He smiled, pleased that Anna had found a friend in Sophia and wondered if they were still in contact. Perhaps Sophia might know her whereabouts since he knew Nigel wouldn’t divulge any information like that.
Thoughts of his mother suddenly came into his head. She had been very reticent about Anna’s circumstances and even his offer to send her P45 directly to her new employer had not fooled her. She had insisted that it came to the Grange and she would deal with it. When it came to his mother, he was sure he sensed a conspiracy.
Fran rushed into the library in a whirl of agitation. “Madam’s just said that Mr Harrington has phoned about a visit. He’s on his way, miss. So, you’d better hide quick!”
Anna threw back her head and laughed gleefully. “There’s no panic.”
But Fran wouldn’t listen and hurried her out of the room and down to the kitchen. It had been agreed that Anna would stay in the apartment when Jason visited, since John and Irene’s home was one place he never ventured. At the same time, it was Fran’s job to run upstairs and lock Anna’s bedroom door. Not that Margaret anticipated Jason going into that particular room but she didn’t want to take any chances.
From the kitchen, Anna climbed the back stairs up to the apartment that overlooked the forecourt. It was a spacious, modern flat and carrying a couple of files of paperwork, she knew she could spend the next few hours gainfully employed.
His first visit had been quite harrowing and she had positioned herself so that she could peek through the curtains as he parked the car. Her heart sank at the sight of Hollie jumping out and hurtling into the building, but the glimpse of Jason set her pulse racing. She longed to reach out for him and hold him close, to feel secure and happy in his arms once more. But then she would remember the look in his eyes that evening he came back from the club. It still haunted her, the way he had backed away from her as though she had been an object of scorn.
From then on she had tried to keep away from the window when he visited and concentrate on her work. Only once had she weakened and gone to the window, just as he was leaving. She had been horrified when he had suddenly glanced up and she had pulled back abruptly, almost taking the curtain with her.
Anna was determined that this visit was going to be treated as just routine and settled herself at the table with the files in front of her. She started working and twenty minutes later she heard the familiar crunch of gravel and a car pulling up in front of the main door. She struggled with her desire to go to the window and leaned her elbows on the table to prevent herself moving. When everything went quiet she continued working for a further hour. There was plenty to do, bookings were coming in at a fast rate and the first wedding was to be held in mid-February.
After a while, she lifted her head and stretched herself. It was then that she saw a small table in the corner that seemed to be covered with shiny bits of metal. She decided to give herself a breather and wandered over. To her surprise she saw that it was an improvised workbench for making jewellery.
“It’s my hobby, miss,” said Irene, coming in with a steaming
mug of coffee. “Thought I’d bring a drink up for you. No point in you going thirsty.”
Anna took it from her. “You make jewellery as a hobby?”
Irene looked down at the table. “Done it for years. I make earrings, pendants and necklaces. Some are special jobs for folk in Wedmore, for birthday and anniversary gifts. But I do sell them at craft fairs too.”
Seeing that Anna was showing interest in her pastime, Irene then described how she made the jewellery using all kinds of stones and mounting them in frames and attaching chains. She even brought out a box containing finished products. Anna had never seen anything so lovely and wondered if she should buy something for her sister and mother, or even for herself.
Suddenly she had an idea. “You couldn’t make this into a pendant for me, could you?”
She took the coin from her pocket and showed it to her.
“But it’s a ten pence, miss,” said the cook, looking very bewildered.
Anna laughed. “I know, but I wondered if you could make it so I could wear it round my neck.”
Irene took the coin in her hand. “Seems to me this is more than just money.”
Anna felt embarrassed. “Yes…Yes it is. I know it sounds silly but it would mean a lot to me.”
“I can put it in a frame and attach a chain. Would that do?”
“That would be perfect.”
They heard voices drifting up from below and Anna wandered to the window keeping carefully concealed behind the curtain.
“You ought to tell him, miss,” said Irene thoughtfully.
“Tell him what?” said Anna, not taking her eyes off the man getting in the car.