by J. L. Beck
Our lips and my hands on her were the only things touching. It was the most intimate thing in the world because I couldn’t have felt more connected to her than in that moment. It was as if the air around us was connected to an unwavering current.
I pulled away from her putting as much space between us as I could, a tiny whimper escaping her lips, and I understood her frustration. She was my everything as was I to her, but we had to find a way to get over the agony we had unknowingly caused one another. Death would come someday, and if I had nothing worth living for, what was holding me back from leaving this Earth today?
“I have…” I paused before starting again. I felt like I was grasping at straws as I tried to calm the emotion running through me. “I was a fool to think I could make a decision for both of us. I was wrong for taking the decision away from you. Wrong for thinking I could walk away from you again because I wouldn’t have been able to. Not with what I feel for you. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much. I want to make up for lost time and stop time all at once because that’s what you do for me. You stop time, baby, and you allow me to truly feel what it feels like to be loved by someone like you. And I want to do the same for you. I don’t want to be the one who turned his back on you anymore. I want to be the man you always wanted because you have always been the woman I have needed.”
Her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears that leaked over the rim of her eyes. From there, those tender tears slid down her delicate cheeks causing the hole in my chest to ache.
“I—” She was so full of emotion she couldn’t speak. Maybe she didn’t think I would actually choose us. Maybe she was hell bent on thinking I would walk away a second time without a backward glance or that I was stubborn enough to let her go.
In my eyes, she deserved more than me, but in her eyes... in her eyes, I was everything to her, and I would be damned if I took that away from her again.
“You don’t have to say a word, baby. I get it and I know how you feel. I know because I feel it, too. Your eyes, the rise and fall of your chest, your reaction when I touch you... it all tells me that you feel it, too. We have a chance and I want that chance. I want that chance more than anything and I want it with you.”
I wanted to kiss her again. God, I just wanted to place my lips on hers and then never stop.
“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. For fucking us up. For not being there when you needed me. For being selfish. For thinking that I was protecting you when all I was really doing was hurting you. I can’t take back the time we missed, the things that I said, or the past in its entirety, but I can alter the future. I can promise to never stop loving you, and I can take every memory we share, rather good or bad, and cherish them for what they are. A part of our journey.”
“Are you asking me if I want to be with you?” she asked in awe as fresh tears traveled down the same path as the previous ones.
“Are you seriously shocked I would want to be with you? Have you seen yourself? You’re beautiful, smart, and sassy as hell, and you have a heart so worthy of love. I just can’t…” I shot her a grin that earned me a sexy smile.
“I just didn’t think you would be the one to come to me. So many times, it was you who walked away. I just…” It was as if she was at a loss for words. “I just never expected you to be so upfront about it. To be standing here confessing your undying love.”
I understood what she meant, and with that, I felt a warmth radiate through me. She knew me well enough to know I had no intentions of trying. Once I was set on something, I never changed my mind. All I wanted was to protect her from everything I stood for.
I was set in my ways.
That is until Zerro showed me how big of a fucking coward I really was.
Until I realized Frank was her father, and if she could give him a chance to be the father she missed, then what was stopping me from taking a chance? The only thing holding me back was my fears. I knew if I walked away, they would still be there and they would haunt me just like before. The only way to make them go away was to dive head first, immersing myself in love so deep that every one of my fears would miraculously disappear. After all, hadn’t she lived through enough shit? Why would I want to add to that? And the truth was I didn’t want to. I wanted to be her reason, her happiness… She deserved to be loved and cherished, and she would be. She was my sea of flames burning bright and setting my soul on fire. Now, how could a man live without that?
“Zerro and your father might have had a slight play in it. I like my dick, and I also like breathing.” I laughed jokingly. Her eyes stirred like a wildfire. “I’m just kidding, but really, they talked some sense into my thick skull.”
I had watched Zerro fight his feelings for Bree, and then I had watched him embrace them with his entire heart. He was tough as nails, and a ‘balls to the wall’ kind of guy, but he loved with his whole heart. The person he was and the person he is now are two very different people. I wanted that. I wanted to look back years from now and see the change in myself.
“Of course, they did.” Her eyes shifted to my face. I still looked and felt like shit, but the meds they gave me had helped immensely. Plus, being able to be up and walking around, just to see her right now made every ache in my body disappear. It’s like her love was healing me from the inside out, keeping me high and dulling the pain.
Time passed between us as we stared in awe at one another, allowing every word we had spoken to sink in.
“How do you feel? Are you okay?” she asked, her voice so warm and inviting.
“I feel fine… Even better now that I’m here with you. I forced myself to stay in my hotel room for the past twenty-four hours. I couldn’t stay away from you anymore. I needed to come see you. To tell you how I felt and now that I have done that... I need to show you.”
With a light touch of my fingers, I was moving us until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. I was more than ready to ravish her. Every inch of my body ached for her. Little to no effort was needed as I pushed her onto the sheets that covered her mattress, my body blanketing hers.
“We can’t do this right now… Look at you,” she squealed. She had no idea what she was in for. She was so naive to think I would have to do all the work when it came to sex. No way. I was gonna make her pretty pussy ride my cock until morning. I craved her like gasoline craved a fire. Like plants needed water, and like my lungs needed air.
“We can do whatever we want.” I knew this wasn’t an apology and nothing would make up for the things that had happened, but being close to her brought me comfort. It reminded me she was still here and that she was mine. Mine for the taking.
“Devon.” She sighed as she said my name. I slipped the strap of her cami off her shoulder and laid a soft kiss against her skin. She shivered into me, her body molding with my own. Once I thought what I was doing was right and how protecting her was what needed to be done. When, actually, all I should’ve been doing was loving her. Being with her like this was perfect. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate the rekindling of our relationship.
“That’s my name, baby.” She gently pushed on my shoulder, forcing me to pull away. With a smile, she pushed off the bed, turned around to face me while removing her cami. Underneath was nothing but creamy smooth skin for miles. Her red hair reminded me of a burning fire as she smiled down at me.
As soon as she started gripping at her panties, I was ready to come. The way her small boy shorts shimmied down the sides of her hips, I could picture myself licking a path from the small indentations below her hips to the inside of her thighs.
“I want you, and I can’t believe you’re mine. Make me believe this is real. Make me believe that this is going to happen. That when I leave here, it will be with you.”
I watched her closely as she seductively crawled back onto the bed. I took the relapse in time to remove my own pants. With the flick of the button, I was down to my boxer briefs. My cock standing at full attention,
pressing against the material of my underwear for her. Beside me was the most amazing woman in the world, one who had stood by me even when I wasn’t there.
“I will make you believe this is real because it is, baby. Every single thing is real.” I leaned over her, cupping her breast in my hand. I could hear her intake of breath and could see her eyes light up. “This…” I kneaded her breast softly while bringing my mouth to her nipple, “is real,” I whispered taking it into my mouth. Goose bumps rippled across her skin like a pond when you skipped a rock across it. Her nipple was hard as a rock. I flicked my tongue over it, grazing it with my teeth. Her leg wrapped around me as she lifted her hips, grinding into me.
“Your wet pussy already wants my cock?” I questioned loving the way her cheeks flush red with every dirty word that left my lips. When she nodded unable to say anything, I bit down on her nipple softly while saying against her skin, “What was that, did you say you wanted my cock?”
Her hands shot up, snaking into my hair as she held me against her chest. “Yes, please. I want your cock, Devon,” she begged.
I couldn’t hold out any longer. Her pleading looks and the deep desire in her voice told me she was ready for me, and God knew I was ready for her.
Pulling back, I pulled my shirt off, and shoved my underwear off my hips. Her mouth opened, her pink tongue darting out onto her bottom lip as she licked it.
“Can I take you in my mouth?” she asked. I about blew my load right then. She hadn’t given me a blow job since we were teenagers, and now I was even more eager to see how her skills had panned out. I smirked, rolling off her onto my back as I leaned against the headboard.
She crawled across the sheets on all fours before me while I took my cock in my hand, stroking it slowly. I had never been so turned on in my fucking life. When she reached out, swirling the bead of precum that had formed at the tip of my cock with her thumb, I almost lost my shit. I almost said fuck the head.
I was on the verge of pulling her up by her arms and holding her above my cock and slamming home, impaling her with it. But I didn’t. I wanted her to have control. In a way, I wanted her to make me lose my control. So, I gripped the bed sheet with all my life praying I had the strength to hold back from taking her.
She smiled up at me, a devilish look in her eyes. Her lips parted as she lifted the head of my cock into her mouth. Softness surrounded me as she sucked me. Wetness encased me as she slowly went down and came back up. She was going to fucking kill me. Her tongue slid along the underside of my shaft causing pleasure to shoot up my spine.
“Just like that, baby…” I hissed, pushing further into her mouth. She took me deeper, allowing me to hit the back of her throat. Even then, she didn’t stop. Shit! She was sucking my cock like a hoover fucking vacuum cleaner. I needed to think about anything but what she was doing or she would find herself with a mouth full of cum.
Her father is next door. Her tongue slid across the head of my cock again. Puppies, kittens, cute little fluffy animals. I gripped the sheets tighter willing myself not to come right now. God, her fucking mouth on my cock felt like heaven, or at least this is what I thought heaven would feel like.
“Fucking Christ, Tegan! You better hope these walls are insulated well,” I growled, her tongue swirling around the head again. I was going to come, not only that, but I was going to come hard. I could picture her swallowing every drop from my throbbing cock.
“Why?” she asked all innocent like, her eyelashes fluttering up at me as she released my cock from ruby red lips with a pop that resonated through the room. Why? She had to be fucking crazy asking a question like that. She had to know what she was doing to my head, to my heart, to my emotions. To my fucking cock.
“Because,” I reached down gripping her by the back of the neck bringing her closer to my face. Her tits slid over my chest and I winced. The pressure from her body pressing into mine caused a sliver of pain to shoot down my spine. I pushed it away as I felt her soaked pussy glide over my leg.
A deep groan released from within me as she forced my cock between us. Her hardened nipples scraped against my chest as my grip on her hair grew tighter. My body was a battered mess, but nothing was going to stop me from taking her the way I wanted. “I’m going to fuck you… I’m going to fuck you so hard the whole building is going to feel it. Your dad, my team, everyone is going to know that you and this pretty pussy, belong to me. Every slap, moan, and pleasurable plea that leaves those perfect fucking lips of yours is going to be heard. Do you understand?” I demanded an answer.
She nodded coyly while maneuvering herself above my cock. I smiled, releasing my hold on her hair to trail both hands to her hips. I stopped myself, staring up at her as she innocently looked down at me. She was toying with me. With a smirk, I gripped the soft, supple skin along her hips forcing her down onto my cock.
A swoosh of air left her lungs as she was forced down hard on my dick, her hands reaching out to land on my chest for support. Before she could catch her breath from the impact, I was lifting her back up, causing her to whimper. I wanted to stop and make sure she was okay, but I couldn’t. Something inside of me had snapped taking over my senses and the need to fuck her was the only concern I had. I drove into her again, my hips pushing up, driving into her softness with my hardness. My grip on her hips turned to steel. Bruises. That’s what she would have when I got done with her. I could hear her moans of pleasure as she started to move against me.
“Fuck…” she cursed, which just caused me to grow harder, my cock pulsing as she squeezed me with her sweet as sugar cunt. That’s right, baby. Come all over this cock. Make it yours.
Removing my hands from her hips, I placed them behind my head. With a glint of mischievousness, I watched her get into the rhythm, slamming down into me over and over again. That a girl. Take me. Take all you can. The only sounds in the room that could be heard were the slaps of our skin and her moans of pleasure.
“Come on, baby, ride your cock. Fuck me like you mean it.” Her eyes drifted closed, and I felt her clench around me as she rode out the pleasurable waves that coursed through her. Not only could I see it, but I could feel her body growing weak as she came down from her high.
“Look at me, baby…” I said gruffly, pulling her into my chest, her body was warm and welcoming as I pushed into her softly.
Fuck, I was going to come. With each gentle stroke into her body, I was rewriting our past into our future. I placed kiss after kiss against her skin. I could feel nothing, only her and I as our bodies connected. It was then I allowed my release to fill her. My body zinged as I clung to her sweat covered body.
I fucking loved this woman. She was a part of me. She was mine.
A memory surged to the surface of my mind… “Dev! Dev, where are you going? You can’t do this to me! Please, come back to me. I can’t do this without you! I can’t be alone—”Her words echoed in my mind…
“You’ll never be alone again. You’ll never have to go a day without me. You’re my everything. I love you, Tegan Louise Anderson,” I whispered into her hair.
Like an extension of my own body, her heartbeat was my own.
For the first time in forever, I felt free, I felt invincible.
Gone were the guilt and pain. In its place stood a new man.
Our love was invincible and now we both knew it.
Epilogue
Tegan
One year later
Of all the days in the month of June for Devon and Zerro to plan a BBQ, they had to pick the hottest. I watched them from the side of the pool as I sipped on my lemonade. Bree and Gia were next to me on the lawn chair, and as I looked around at all we had, the family and friends surrounding us, I almost cried. It could’ve been my emotions or something else, but it brought tremendous joy to my heart to have been brought into such a humble family.
“Look at them and their bromance.” Bree gestured to Devon and Zerro, who were arguing over the placement of hot dogs and burgers on the grill.
“Yeah… They argue more than a normal married couple.” I laughed.
“You would know, newlywed,” Bree joked back with a wink. I couldn’t help but smile. Devon and I had tied the knot. Finally. We said ‘I do’ in the same spot where we had spent so many nights as teenagers watching stars. Our wedding was small and took place after the sunset when the first stars of the night appeared in the sky.
Frank walked me down the aisle and gave me away to the man I always belonged to. This last year of my life had been one of forgiveness. Making up for lost time was something I never thought I would get. After the wedding, I vowed to take one day a week just to spend time with my father, to get to know him and to make up for all the memories we never got to make. Though I wasn’t a child anymore, and I didn’t really need him as an adult, I knew developing a relationship with him was important.
Therefore, every Sunday, we did something small. Ice cream on the boardwalk, dinner at a new restaurant, a movie that neither of us had seen. Each thing we did would help to fill the void that had once been inside of me. I wasn’t making up for lost time, I was simply moving on to the future. With his and Devon’s help, I was able to enroll at a new college away from the drama and crime that ensued in Montgomery. I was on my way to receiving a degree in Social Services. My plan was to help those who were just as lost as I once was. That’s what was important to me.
Frank would never tell me what happened to Tony, but the news channels gave me all the info I ever needed to know. He was facing life in prison, and not just for little things that I thought he had been doing. The night of the bust, he basically confessed to killing people and admitted that he took Jamie out. Word had it the team found a group of women huddled in the basement of the Diamond Royale Casino, which he also confessed to owning. They were battered and beaten. Some looked as if they hadn’t eaten or bathed in months.
Everyone knew what he was doing with them, but no one could speak the words. My heart split in two the second I realized he wasn’t the man he wanted everyone to see. The facade of who he was had shattered into a million pieces, leaving shards of glass in its wake. As bad as I wanted to feel something for him, sadness, anger, regret, I couldn’t. He didn’t deserve my compassion or feelings. Forcing myself to stop thinking about the past, I focused my attention to the giggling bundle of joy before me.