“Why?” Justin picked up some kind of glass knick-knack before putting it back down. “What’s so special about this room?”
Rose blushed, something else that Justin wasn’t aware ghosts could do. “You proposed to me here, silly. Don’t you remember?”
Actually, he didn’t. In fact, what memories Justin had of this room were far from pleasant. The night after he’d compromised Rose, he’d waited in this very room with her father and grandfather while someone, probably Tim he now realized, confirmed that Rose was no longer a virgin and that she needed to marry quickly before any “consequences” of her night with James began to appear.
He’d sat for what seemed like hours in one of the high backed chairs while Ben Dorsey had paced back and forth, scowling every so often at James. Rose’s father, Leonard, had simply stood in a corner, perhaps trying to pretend that none of it had been happening.
“Are you sure that’s how it happened?” Justin asked. His memories might be faulty, but he was pretty sure that one was real. Ever since he had stepped into the room, a feeling of unease had washed over him, and he’d felt ashamed, as if he’d like nothing more than to run from the house. Given that he’d just been thinking of Rosewood as home, it was an odd sensation.
“Of course!” she laughed. “A woman tends to remember things like her marriage proposal. Why? Do you not remember it as I do?”
Sitting down on the fainting couch, he patted the area beside him, indicating that Rose should sit as well. Once she sat, Justin leaned forward and laced his fingers with hers, no longer hesitant to touch her glowing, ghostly form.
“I compromised you, Rose. We had to get married. I may not be sure of much, but I do know that for certain. Even if I didn’t remember correctly, the whole ugly story was in the historical record. I read it this morning.”
Rose frowned. “Are you certain? What historical record? That’s not the way I remember it.”
Quickly, Justin explained what had happened at the museum that morning, how he’d passed out while looking at the display about their deaths. He also gave her a quick recap of some of the memories that had come flooding back to him, none of them good. When he was finished, Rose gave him a long, admonishing look.
“Justin, that can’t be true. I might not have been a virgin when we married, but no one knew, especially my family. We were quiet, discreet and you were always respectful. You most certainly did not take me in the middle of Farmer Ettinger’s barn for all to see!”
“Are you sure, Rose?” Justin had no idea what was going on with Rose’s memories. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that they might be faulty. However, in this instance, he knew for sure that he was right and she was wrong.
Frowning, Rose thought back to those halcyon days of young love she had cherished over the years when the world had been bright and perfect…and suddenly realized that something was wrong. The memories didn’t move, nor could she see herself moving through them, as she normally could. Instead, they were frozen in time, almost like a painting.
“At the moment…no…I am not so certain.” The more Rose thought, the more she realized that other memories, mostly those of James were like that as well. They were more like snapshots than memories, static images of blissful perfection. That didn’t seem quite right.
Justin knelt on the floor in front of her, his hands grasping hers. “I did some bad things, Rose, or rather James did. Parts of him are still here, in this house. I can feel him. I can feel his unease at being in this room. I’m uneasy here too.”
“But my memories…” she protested, unwilling and unable to consider another alternative.
“Are possibly wrong,” he finished for her. “I don’t like that idea any more than you do, Rose, but it’s something to consider.” He gestured around the room. “No matter how hard we try, no matter where we look, this investigation is going nowhere. Promising leads end up as dead ends. The only real clues we’ve had took me to an exhibit that paints a very different picture of the man I was. Things we take for granted as truth, based on your memories, end up not being real.
“Something is wrong here, Rose, and it starts with your memories. How can I trust what you remember when the bits and pieces of James’ life that I do remember are so different?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know.” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “All I know is that for years, I have used my memories of us to keep my hopes alive. They are what allow me to continue to dream that one day we might be together again. To even consider they might be wrong goes against everything I have believed in for so long.”
The last thing Justin wanted was to upset her, so he decided to drop that line of thinking for the moment, but not before offering her some reassurance. “Maybe not all of your memories are wrong. Maybe just that one.”
If she believed him, she wasn’t letting on. Instead, she switched topics completely. “So there were no additional clues in the museum?”
“None.” Justin didn’t want to bring up his fainting spell again. That would only lead to another discussion about his memories, something he now wanted to avoid. “But that doesn’t mean we won’t keep trying. Tim is out there right now tracking down other possible leads. So are other members of the team. We’ll solve this. I know we will.”
Seemingly satisfied, Rose nodded and looked down at where Justin still kneeled in front of her. “So why aren’t you out there looking?”
“I wanted to keep you updated.” That was part of the truth, at least. He didn’t know if he was quite ready to tell her how much he missed her or how much he ached for her while they were apart. It seemed a little early into things, but then, he also decided that he could be wrong. Perhaps Rose missed him just as much when they were apart.
“And?” From the tone of her voice, she clearly wanted more.
He decided to risk his heart, just a little, and see how Rose felt. If she didn’t respond the way he hoped, he could always laugh it off as a joke. He was good at that. Until now, everything between them had been about sex and the past. This was new. This was Rose and him, Justin, not James.
“And I missed you,” he admitted, carefully watching her face for any reaction. “I wanted to be with you. I always want to be with you.”
“I missed you too,” Rose sighed. “This house is so lonely when you are not here. It has never been like that for me before.”
Straightening up, Justin brought his hands to frame Rose’s face. “I miss you every moment that I’m not with you,” he confessed. “When I’m back in Altoona, all I can think of is you.”
“The days are long and empty,” she confessed, bringing her forehead to rest against his. She could see the truth of his statement in his eyes. He truly did miss her when he was away. It was a heady sensation, one she had almost forgotten she could feel.
As if in slow motion, Justin brought his lips to hers. The kiss was searingly sweet and exquisite, as if finally admitting that they cared for one another brought them to a new level of physical closeness.
Instinctively, Rose’s mouth opened under Justin’s and their tongues tangled. James had never kissed her like this, as if he wanted to possess her soul. Instead, he’d wanted her body and nothing more. That thought brought her up short and she pulled back.
“Something wrong?” Justin asked, nibbling at her neck and enjoying the sensation of her body slowly becoming more human again. “Don’t you like the way I kiss you?”
“It’s not that. I adore the way you kiss me. It’s just…” Rose didn’t know how to explain the sudden, odd bit of knowledge that had flashed across her mind, and at the moment, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to. Had Justin been right? Was there something wrong with this house, with her?
He made a little humming noise against her skin as it once again took on weight and texture it didn’t normally have, feeling like real flesh under his lips. “Then what, Rose? Tell me.”
“I don’t know.” She really didn’t know. Maybe she was just imagining thin
gs after so many days of stress, so much upheaval in her life. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out later.”
He chuckled. “I like the way you think.” He placed a kiss on her chin and then followed that up with a series of kisses up her jawline.
Rose liked it as well. There was tenderness in Justin’s kiss, mixed with desire and what she assumed was longing. They had been apart for a very long time, at least she and James had. He had kissed her like this so many times, she remembered. As Justin continued to worship her body, she allowed her mind to drift back to a similar time with James.
Only the images wouldn’t come. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t remember one single time she’d felt this adored and protected. That was definitely wrong. If nothing else, James had loved her. She was certain of that much.
“Justin, wait.” Rose wiggled back across the fainting couch, just beyond his immediate reach. Not unexpectedly, Justin followed her, slinking towards her like a jungle cat. Involuntarily, she shivered.
“Something wrong?” Justin quirked an eyebrow at her, something she’d never seen him do before. James, however, had done that quite often and she’d eventually come to find it irritating.
That made her frown even more. She had adored everything about James. She knew she did. He didn’t do anything to irritate her, including raising eyebrows. The conflicting thoughts made her pause. Logically, she knew that something about James had to annoy her. There had to be some quirk she didn’t like. However, as she searched her mind, she couldn’t find one single thing about him that she didn’t like.
“My memories seem off or wrong or something,” she admitted, putting a hand on Justin’s chest to stop him as he tried to kiss her again. “It’s as if reality has been overwritten by, well, I don’t know what, but something that’s not real. I think you might have been right. My memory is faulty.”
Justin sighed, a sound of pure disgust, which sent shivers down her spine. “Rose, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but we’ll figure it out. After. First, wouldn’t you rather do this?” His words now were a direct contradiction to what he’d said only a few moments before, but she never had the chance to call him on it.
Reaching out, he put his hand on her shoulder and slowly slid it down until it cupped her breast. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, causing it to tighten into a stiff peak.
Rose moaned in delight at the sensation and Justin smiled. This was right; this was perfect. Everything else could wait. He couldn’t. He needed Rose and he needed her now, just like he always had. She could make him feel whole and complete, make him feel as if he deserved to be loved.
That thought, too, somehow seemed wrong, but Justin pushed it away, not wanting to over-think things, afraid that somehow, Rose’s hesitation was influencing his thoughts as well. Shadows of memories lurked in his mind, but he pushed those away too, focused only on physical pleasure.
“You like this, Rose. I know you do.” Justin leaned in to kiss her again and this time she let him, not pushing him away as she’d done before. Without warning, the kiss deepened, became rougher and more urgent, taking them both by surprise and making Rose squirm beneath him.
“Oh, yes,” she breathed. “No one has ever made me feel this way, Justin. Never.”
Rose’s words pricked at a corner of his mind, but like before, he pushed them away. There would be time for introspection later, but not now. Now, he just wanted to feel the woman in his arms shudder beneath him and moan in delight as he took her body, used her to make him feel alive.
After a few more skilled kisses, Rose seemed to be in agreement with Justin’s plan as well. Her body began to tremble and he felt her hand snake out to cup him through his jeans.
Sliding down on the couch, Rose allowed the weight of Justin’s body to cover her, pushing her so that she was prone beneath him. One of his legs was wedged between her thighs, pushing her dress up to her knees.
Wanting to be rid of the pesky garment completely, she whisked it away with a mere thought so that she was naked beneath him. Justin gasped in delight when her flesh turned naked beneath his hands and he let out a low growl.
“Eager now, are you, Rose?” There was an edge to his voice but neither of them seemed to notice it.
“Always,” she breathed, her earlier, unsettling thoughts tucked away in a far corner of her mind. Justin was right. There was time to think about all of that later. For now, all she wanted was to feel, preferably him between her legs.
Justin sat up quickly and shed his own clothes so that when he returned to her, he was as gloriously naked as she was. His eyes were glassy, as if he were drunk, but she didn’t care.
“I love how you want me,” he breathed as he resumed trailing kisses all over her delectable body. “You’re so responsive, so hot and tight and wet.” He drew a finger down over her stomach and between her legs, testing the slickness of her channel. She was already wet and he growled again in approval.
“I need you,” Rose ground out as Justin’s hands continued to explore her body. He caressed her breasts, her hips, her shoulders. Every inch of her longed to be in contact with him, his body heat making her feel warm in a way she relished.
In general, it didn’t take much for Rose to get excited, but today, something was different. Justin’s touch was urgent, almost demanding, as if he hadn’t been with her in years, which was strange. Just about every time they were together, they had sex.
That thought, along with all others, was lost as he pushed first one finger and then another inside of her. Squirming, she bucked against him, feeling the waves of passion begin to rise inside her. “Justin, please,” she cried, unable to articulate anything more.
“Please, what?” he asked, his voice now low and rough, almost gravelly, so unlike his usual smooth baritone. “What do you want Rose?”
“You know what I want!” She thought they’d moved beyond this. The last time they’d been together, it was as if he’d been able to read her mind. “I want you. Please!”
Justin pressed her farther back into the couch and bit the sensitive flesh where her shoulder met her neck. “Say it,” he urged. “I want to hear those words from your pretty little mouth.” He moved his fingers faster inside of her, bending them slightly to hit her G-spot.
This was wrong. Rose felt the warning stir deep in her soul. This wasn’t like him. Justin could be demanding during sex, but not like this. Something was not right. There was a difference in his touch. It had become harder, more demanding and less like the way he usually caressed her. Justin, too, seemed different. In the beginning, he’d been sweet and almost tender, but now, there was a roughness to his words.
“Tell me, Rose,” he said again, this time more forcefully when she didn’t respond to his earlier words. “Tell me you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours. Tell me how much you want my big, thick, hard cock inside of you, fucking you until you can’t think, until all there is in your mind is me.”
Rose whimpered, partly out of fear, and a memory, one very different from the others, seemed to spring up, unbidden, from where it had been locked inside her mind. She’d been in this situation once before, but not with Justin. It had been with James. He’d been angry with her, thought she was getting ready to leave him, maybe even for his best friend, Jonah.
They’d argued and she’d tried to run, but he’d caught her, pinned her down and ripped off her clothes. James had told her that she was his and his alone, that no one would ever posses her body but him. She’d become excited despite herself and he’d taken advantage of that, pushing himself inside of her without warning.
As if conjuring up the images had made it happen, Justin pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. He drove into her roughly and she cried out. There was anger in his actions now and somehow, Rose knew that this was James. She might be making love to Justin’s body, but James, or at least a part of him, was inside, controlling Justin’s spirit.
“Do
n’t do this,” Rose whispered, trying in vain to push Justin away from her. “Justin, look at me. Please.” She was nearly begging now and she began to feel real fear creep up her spine. Ghosts could die and be hurt. If that happened, what would become of her?
If Justin heard her, however, he gave no indication. Instead, he continued to pound into her, whispering about how well he fucked her, how good his cock felt inside of her.
Rose felt the familiar sensations begin to build inside of her once more. Arching up to meet his thrusts, she opened her eyes, which at some point had gone closed, and forced her gaze to find his.
“Justin, this isn’t you,” she gasped as he took her forcefully. Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, despite the glorious sensations rampaging through her body’s lower region. “I know you. Please, don’t hurt me like this. I’m begging you. Please. Stop.”
Something in her tone or her words must have penetrated his sex fogged brain because without warning, he slowed his assault on her body until he stilled inside of her, his penis still throbbing but his eyes languid and sleepy, as if he’d just awoken from some kind of trance.
“Rose,” he whispered, his voice thick and his words choppy. “I don’t understand. What did I just do to you?” There was real pain mixed with confusion in his voice and Rose’s heart ached. This was Justin, the real Justin and not the magic-influenced version of James he had been just moments before.
“Shhhh,” she told him as he looked down at her in confusion. Frightened though she was, she knew she had to reassure him. He was undoubtedly just as scared. “It’s alright. You’re back now.”
Realizing he was still buried deep inside of her body, his cock throbbing painfully now, Justin moved involuntarily and Rose convulsed around him, her inner muscles clamping down.
“I need you, Justin,” she whispered as she stared up into his confused face. “I need you. Not James. Make love to me. Don’t leave me, not now. Make me forget him and what he did. Now.”
Rose knew she should stop this madness, but she couldn’t make herself do it. She wanted Justin too much and she could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted her just as much. For once, she wanted to live in the present, not the past. At the moment, James was gone and Justin was making love to her. That was what she needed to concentrate on and nothing else.
Ghosts Of Lovers Past Page 14