“Rose.” His voice was thick. “I didn’t… I never…” He gulped and tried again. “I’m sorry. James, he was there. Inside me. I couldn’t…I didn’t mean…” The words were jumbled but it was the best he could do.
Crossing the room to face him, she peered into his eyes. “But a part of him still lives inside you, no matter what,” she said sadly. “I was always afraid that one day, his lack of control would destroy us. I fear I would have been right.”
Sighing, she stepped back and placed a hand on his arm. “I know, Justin, that your anger was magnified by the house, but don’t you see? This is why we must not see each other again. What if Reed or Tim or Callie would have been standing where I was? How would you feel if your actions hurt them? What if James comes back?”
Unable to answer, Justin shook his head and looked away. “I wouldn’t hurt them,” he finally managed. “James won’t take over me again. I promise.”
“I won’t take that risk”, she said sadly. “I cannot allow another life to be destroyed by whatever curses me. Good-bye, my love. We will meet again when the time is right.” With that, she disappeared in a flash of light, leaving Justin alone in the living room.
For several minutes, the only sounds Justin heard were the birds outside chirping in the bushes and the distant cars on the nearest highway. Nothing moved within the walls of the house itself. The sparkling shards of the crystal vase lay near his feet where Rose had been moments before. Dust motes flitted through the air, caught in mid-day summer sunbeams and an unnatural silence seemed to descend over the house.
Two thoughts were foremost in his mind. One, had he really allowed his body to be taken over by a spirit, so that it could smash a vase in a violent rage and two, was Rose really gone? Would she really follow through on her threat never to see him again?
The idea was shocking, but, as he regained his senses, he began to understand. Rose didn’t think he, Justin, was capable of change. She didn’t think he was capable of letting go of the worst parts of himself, the parts that used others and allowed anger to override all common sense. In her eyes, in that moment, he was no better than James, and perhaps in some ways worse. After all, James hadn’t known that what he was doing was wrong.
In that moment, the only thing Justin wanted was out of the house, away from the memories, his own memories, that were now coming back to him. Memories of college girls he’d used for sex and tossed aside, women he’d dated to make himself look good, people he’d used so that he could advance his career, knowing that he didn’t have a paranormal talent. There were so many, too many. His effort to use Callie the day before was only the latest in a long line of those that he often treated as if they were in his life only to serve his own desires and nothing more.
That morning, he’d been so certain that he was well on his way to changing. Now, he didn’t think he was.
He turned and walked, zombie like, towards the front door. Getting into his car, he reached for the small bag in the back seat that contained Reed’s potion. It was a newer, fast acting version of the original liquid. The chemist had cooked it up after receiving a new translation of the old spell book from his friend at Oxford.
Yanking out the cork, Justin downed the entire bottle in one gulp, the thick, disgusting liquid burning like fire on his tongue and throat. Almost, immediately, Justin felt both physically and emotionally spent as the potion quickly spread through his bloodstream, chasing away whatever last vestiges of James’ spirit that still lingered inside of him.
Nausea swept over him and he had to suppress the urge to empty the contents of his stomach onto Rose’s front lawn. Instead, he slumped back in the seat and reached for a bottle of water. The cool liquid felt like heaven as he swallowed large gulps, trying to wash away the potion’s after taste. If only washing away the memory of what he’d just done was that easy.
Finally getting himself under control, Justin started the car and steered it back in the direction of Blue Spring as if on autopilot, not really seeing anything that he passed. He was so focused on getting away from the house that he didn’t even notice the movement of curtains in the attic where Rose watched him leave, her heart breaking but knowing that it was for the best.
Letting the curtain slide back as his car drove off, Rose slumped back into her old rocking chair, seeking comfort in its familiar arms. She hadn’t wanted him to go, not really. However, she’d felt as if she didn’t have a choice.
While Justin might want her now, what would happen in a few years when he wanted a wife and children, when he desired a family of his own? Those were things she couldn’t give him, no matter how much she longed to.
In that, Justin and James were the same, seeing only what they wanted out of life, never being able to see another person’s point of view. In the end, Rose knew it would pull them apart, just as it had her and James.
She was older now, and wiser. She’d made those mistakes in her youth; she’d be damned if she’d make them again. Knowing Justin would never willingly walk away from her, she’d made the choice for him. It had hurt, but it had been the right thing to do. Otherwise, history was doomed to repeat itself.
She’d come to the decision as she’d lain in his arms. No matter how much she loved him, she’d have to send him away. Without answers or even a solid lead, there was no longer any hope. She couldn’t continue to exist like that. Though she’d known it wouldn’t be easy, Rose didn’t think it would have been this difficult either.
Disappearing into a flash of light had been the most heart-wrenching thing she’d done in a very long time, mostly because she knew what she’d done was final. She’d seen the hurt and fear in Justin’s eyes when she’d asked him what he would have done if he would have injured a living person with his actions. Rose hadn’t meant to hurt him so deeply, but he’d been so stubborn that she hadn’t felt like she’d had another choice.
She prayed that, in time, he would come to understand what she’d done, even if he didn’t like it.
Rocking slowly back and forth in her chair, Rose considered her own future and wondered why her grandfather hadn’t appeared to see her immediately after Justin had left. She’d see him soon enough, she supposed. He always came back to Rosewood House to see her.
She wondered what he would say when he found out she’d sent Justin away. Part of her suspected he would be thrilled. Ben had never been pleased about the human romancing his ghostly granddaughter, even if they had been married in a previous life. She also suspected he would hurt on her behalf as well, and she found comfort in that, knowing he would support her, just as he always had.
Outside her attic window, the shadows shifted as the sun made its way across the azure-hued summer sky. These were the kinds of days she had loved when she was alive, even before her whirlwind romance with James.
Rose knew that beyond the confining walls of this house, the air was warm and sweet, probably with a gentle hint of breeze that pushed the fluffy, cotton clouds across the sky, high overhead. In the past when she’d been alive, she’d walked the grounds of the house, sketched in the garden, or perhaps taken the carriage into town and watched the construction progress on the waterfalls that would eventually help to contain Blue Spring Lake.
She had basked in the sunshine and reveled in its heat, something she now longed to feel again. She wanted to feel warm summer air fill her lungs and heat her from the inside out. Other than when she joined with Justin, she’d been so cold for so long that she’d almost forgotten how sweet the sun on her face could be.
Sitting there thinking about her past life, Rose didn’t even notice when she began to cry. Instead, she simply let the tears flow, mourning the loss of her old life and whatever new existence she perhaps could have forged with Justin.
The longer she sat in the chair, the more her mind wandered and she felt conflicted. Had she been too rash, too hasty in her decision to force Justin away? That had been her problem when she’d been alive. She’d often made snap decisions, not taking th
e time to think through anything, not bothering to consider the consequences of her actions. That was, in effect, how she’d come to marry James before she really knew him.
She’d jumped head long into a compromising situation with James the minute she’d returned to Blue Spring, heedless of the consequences for her or her family. All she’d known was that she wanted James and she’d done what was necessary to get him. She hadn’t thought about the damage she’d do to her family’s reputation or her own.
She hadn’t cared. She’d wanted what she’d wanted, typical of the spoiled woman she’d been in her youth. Perhaps her father and grandfather had been overly indulgent, overly permissive, but in the end, Rose was responsible for her own actions. She’d just chosen not to be.
If she were ever granted the chance to live again, it was something she’d work to be more conscious of, something she’d work to correct. Her desire to get her own way had cost her greatly. Too bad it had only taken a little more than a century for her to finally figure that out.
As for Justin, she knew in her heart that she’d been too hasty in sending him away again, not that it mattered now. What was done was done and he wasn’t coming back.
Which was what she wanted. Or at least she was going to try her best to convince herself that she did.
Chapter Twenty-Two
After leaving Rosewood House, Justin drove around the area, not really caring where he was going until finally, he found himself back in Blue Spring, unwilling to return to Altoona and the Ghosts, Inc. offices. Finding a spot near the small park that ringed Blue Spring Lake, Justin quickly parked and then began to wander through the quiet park, his very soul aching with a despair unlike any he’d ever known.
Rose no longer wanted to see him. His anger, or to be more specific James’ anger, had cost him the woman he loved. That was all he could think about.
Finding an empty bench, he sat down and watched the wind-created ripples move across the small pond that had been created when the townspeople had dammed up the spring so many years ago. Decades of moss covered the old stone waterfalls and there was an aged, almost ancient look to them. Allowing his mind to wander, Justin could almost visualize coming here with a lover when the place was still fresh and new.
Had he and Rose come here, he wondered? After all, the small park had been built when they were still alive. Had they ever spent idle afternoons just feeding the ducks and letting the sun warm them to the point of laziness? Somehow, he was certain they had.
Looking across the now mirror-like surface of the water, he could see Oakhurst Hall bathed in bright afternoon light. Weathered chains hung between carved stone posts, keeping trespassers off the home’s lush, green lawn where it connected to the public park. Worn stone steps led from the from the Victorian-era dock and boathouse up to the mansion’s sweeping back terrace, which was made of the same hand-hewn stone as the rest of the house.
Just as Justin knew that he and Rose had spent time in this park, he also knew that they’d visited the sprawling estate as well, both in good times and in bad. He wasn’t certain what the bad times were, but he knew that they had bordered on the awful.
Their life had been here, in this crazy, multi-leveled town and someone had taken it away from them. He resented that. He wanted that time back.
Justin was also angry with Rose for denying him any sort of future with her. He’d known that by choosing her, he’d give up any sort of normal life. He hadn’t cared then and he didn’t now. He wanted her and no one else. The rest of it be damned.
Justin could finally admit his faults, including that sometimes, he was just plain wrong. He’d wanted to tell Rose about his vow to be a better man. He’d never gotten a chance. Instead, he’d allowed whatever was left of James to creep into his mind and body again, taking over until there was very little of him left.
Making a decision, Justin took out his cell phone and made a quick call to Josh. He requested than an exorcism, targeted specifically at the spirit of James Morgan, be performed at the house, the sooner, the better. He described in detail for his friend exactly what had happened as he’d argued with Rose earlier in the day. Josh hesitated at first, but eventually, he agreed to go to Rosewood and check things out. Josh also made Justin promise not to return to the house until it could be “swept clean” of any last trace of James.
After hanging up with Josh, Justin continued to sit beside the lake, his mind wandering, lost in the past. He thought about his childhood and growing up in a noisy, sometimes pushy family. He thought about the women he’d known over the years and the friends he’d made.
Mostly, though, he thought about the two previous lives he’d lived, each of them ending tragically and without much hope. The universe had given him another chance and he was wasting it. But if Rose didn’t want to see him anymore, what was he supposed to do?
Justin had no idea how long he sat there on the bench, staring across the water and listening to the cascade of the waterfalls behind him, but by the time he came back to his senses, it was already well past five o’clock, the afternoon having literally passed him by.
He knew he should return home, or at the very least, call in to the Ghosts, Inc. offices and find out what, if anything, Tim had discovered. He knew he should probably also tell Mia that someone else would need to take over the case because Rose no longer wished to see him. Instead, he found himself going to his car and driving back to Rosewood House against all sense of reason and despite Josh’s warnings.
He also couldn’t shake the feeling that if he didn’t work this out with Rose today, then he never would. He wasn’t even willing to consider that option.
When he arrived at the house, he drank the last of Reed’s potion, trying to ensure that if any bit of James was left, it wouldn’t be able to work its way back inside his mind. Satisfied that he was protected as much as possible, Justin wasted no time in stomping up the house’s front steps and slamming open the door, making sure Rose was well aware that he was back.
“I’m back, Rose and I’m not leaving until you talk to me!” Justin’s voice echoed through the house. “You know I won’t go away.”
His words were met with silence, so he tried again. “Rosie, don’t do this! Don’t throw away what we have. I’ll find the answer. I promise!”
Still nothing, so Justin tried several more times, each one more pleading than the last. Finally, he tried one last thing, something he had thought but never spoken aloud.
“Rose, please come back to me. I love you.” That did the trick.
“You can’t love me, Justin,” Rose said mournfully as she floated down the sweeping staircase behind him. “You don’t know me and certainly don’t know what I really am.”
Unconcerned, he brushed aside her words. “I can and do. I don’t care if you’re a ghost. I love you. Me, Justin Grant, and not James Morgan. I love you, Rose, and I’m not just going to walk away from this. Please don’t ask me to.”
Ruefully, she shook her head. “A future between us is impossible. You know that.” She didn’t address his words of love and he didn’t bring it up again, though they both knew it was what had drawn her out of hiding.
“No, I don’t,” he insisted, clutching her hands in his when she was finally close enough to touch. “Maybe our future won’t be like other people’s, but we will have one. I firmly believe that the Powers won’t allow you to fade away before I die. I’m not about to let you go, Rose. You have to know that.”
Seeming to relent a little, she gave a small nod. It was enough for Justin. “But in the future…”
“We’ll deal with that when we come to it,” he insisted, pulling her closer. “For now let’s enjoy what we have.” Then he kissed her lightly on the neck and Rose seemed to swoon a bit in his arms.
“And if I don’t want to?” She made one last attempt to resist him, even though they both knew it was futile.
Justin chuckled. “Then I’ll just have to convince you.”
For the second time
that day, he brought his lips to hers. This time, however, there was nothing demanding in his kiss, nothing reckless and certainly no anger. Instead, it was a sweet, aching kiss that hinted of unspoken promises and pleasure unlike any she’d known.
Rose allowed herself to be swept into the kiss, relishing the feel of Justin’s skin on hers and the way her body warmed under his touch. Suddenly, there was no part of him that she didn’t want to touch or leave unexplored.
He’d come back for her, even though she’d sent him away and even though there was no real future for them. Not to mention that he loved her! He hadn’t said it again, but Rose knew it was true and her heart rejoiced.
Slowly, she peeled his shirt off his body, exposing his bare chest. She ran her hands over the hard planes, enjoying the feel of his muscles over bone. While she could touch and move objects, Rose only felt this level of tactile sensation when she was touching Justin and she wanted to savor every moment of it.
Justin, however, had other ideas. “I can’t wait,” he whispered into her ear, pulling her to him so that his back rested against a nearby wall, pinning him there. “I need you, Rose. Now.” He began kissing and licking her neck, searching for any bit of bare skin he could find.
With a mere thought, Rose made her dress disappear so that she was nude before him. Justin groaned, pushed off the rest of his own clothes and dropped to his knees, naked before her.
“I want to worship you.” He looked up at Rose and found her eyes bright, watching him. “This is what I want. You and only you. No one else. Ever.”
She ran her hands through his thick hair and fell to her knees as well. “Justin, I want you. You have to know that I…”
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