JOSIE HAD STOPPED writing down orders by seven that evening. Nearly everyone who walked into the bar asked for a Fern’s Hoppy Heaven. And the few who requested a pop or a mixed drink, well, she’d gotten pretty good at remembering orders and linking faces with drinks.
One of the weekend bouncers had arrived early to help manage the crowd. She’d packed this place and secured her job. Noah wouldn’t dare take it away from her now.
She’d walked out of that meeting at the brewery feeling as if she could do anything. She could run this bar, pay her bills, and even secure a job for a woman trying to find her way back from a hell Josie could only imagine.
And I could fight the fear holding me back from stealing a peek beneath Noah’s Big Buck’s T-shirt at the muscles he fine-tuned over the past few years.
A touch. A taste. Nothing serious. Nothing that might lead to more.
Well, physically she was ready. It had been almost two years since she’d had sex. But sex led to broken hearts. Especially sex with Noah. And if they messed up with the birth control—a baby.
She couldn’t risk losing another child. It would break her. She wasn’t strong enough. Not yet, when she hadn’t even finished paying for the first loss. But even after she sent that last check, she knew the grief, the guilt, the feeling of failure, none of it would ever fully recede.
Still, a kiss, maybe two—that was different. She wasn’t afraid of one simple kiss. OK, maybe a little scared that she might start to feel something for him the second his lips touched hers. But she didn’t want to live in fear.
“Hey, Josie,” Noah called from behind the bar. “Are you all right? Need a break?”
She turned to him and saw his furrowed brow. Concern shone in his blue eyes. “I’m fine,” she said, knowing he’d vault over the bar if he thought she needed a full-blown rescue. But she didn’t. Not this time.
Just a kiss to prove she was stronger than the imaginary demons trying to keep a hold on her. A kiss to prove the confident woman who walked into that meeting yesterday wasn’t a mirage.
“Good. Then do you mind taking Josh back to see our new dishwasher? I’m swamped, but he wanted to say hi. And she might feel better if you’re there,” he called over the buzz of the crowd.
She nodded in agreement and scanned the people at the bar looking for the redheaded Summers brother. Josh waved and headed over.
“The woman of the hour,” Josh said. “Congratulations on putting Big Buck’s on the map for something other than a mechanical bull.”
“That hasn’t been here in years,” she said, leading the way to the relative quiet of the back room.
“Wow,” Josh said, drawing to a halt in the middle of the room. One glance at him, and Josie knew he wasn’t staring at the row of kegs that had been delivered yesterday. He’d spotted Caroline slamming the dishwasher closed.
“Getting out of the woods looks good on you, Miss Caroline,” he called.
Caroline turned and spotted Josh. She offered a tentative smile. “I’d been camping for a while when you found me,” she admitted.
“I owe you an apology,” he said. “I should have offered you a ride straight over to Big Buck’s. To Noah. I’m sorry I didn’t believe your story about someone being after you. I didn’t realize you were a marine.”
She took a step back and her hand moved to her waistband searching for the weapon thankfully locked in Noah’s safe.
“Your secret is safe with me,” Josh said, still beaming at Caroline as if the sight of a petite woman in combat boots, jean shorts, and an oversized Big Buck’s shirt blew him away. “My short-term memory is still just starting to work again after a logging accident.”
“I’m sorry,” Caroline said. “About the accident.”
Josh shrugged. “Sometime life delivers you a whole pile of shit and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Yes. It does.” Caroline’s arms dropped to her side.
“But at the end of the day, my siblings found a great doctor for me and I learned to bake an awesome pie while working on my memory.” Josh rested an elbow on the stainless-steel counter beside the dishwasher. “Do you like pie, Caroline?”
“I do,” she murmured.
“I’ll bake one for you sometime.” He stood and took a step back. “I’ll let you ladies get back to work. But I’ll see you soon, Miss Caroline. When I drop off your pie.”
Josh headed for the swinging door. He gave Caroline one last wave and disappeared into the other room.
“I can’t accept a pie from him,” Caroline said. “Or eat one with him.”
“If you give me a slice, I’ll chaperone your pie-eating date,” Josie volunteered.
The marine turned back to the dishwasher. “I can’t.”
“It’s just dessert.”
Caroline glanced over her shoulder. A hollow, haunted look had replaced her smile. “It’s never just a pie.”
“I know.” One date, one dessert could stumble headlong into pain and heartache. And looking at the marine turned dishwasher, Josie knew there wasn’t a single path that led to all that pain. “I know,” Josie added, “but I still have a sweet tooth.”
Named Noah. . .
“I think I lost mine.” Caroline turned back to the dirty glasses. “I should get back to work.”
“Me too.” Josie headed for the room overflowing with customers. Every tip took her one step closer to thrusting her debt into the past. And after her shift, she’d try for a taste of the man busting his ass behind the bar.
“You’re better than ice cream, pie, and cookies combined,” she murmured. “Or at least you were five years ago.”
Chapter Eight
BY THREE IN the morning the DJ had packed up and they’d drained the Hoppy Heaven kegs. Noah declared the cows home for the night and the place emptied out. He sent April, the experienced bartender his dad had hired seven or eight years ago to help cover the busy weekend nights, home an hour later.
Josie walked up to the bar. She’d removed her Big Buck’s apron. Between her little red sundress and cowboy boots, she looked like the missing “country” in Big Buck’s.
“I gave Caroline the keys to my car so she could head home after the dishes stopped piling up,” she said.
“You need a ride then?” He lifted the service end of the bar and joined her on the other side.
“And up to Fern’s Brewery tomorrow morning. We should take your truck. More space for another keg than in my car.”
Noah shook his head and headed for the front door. “Called for a replacement already?”
“As soon as we started running low tonight.” She stepped into the parking area while he held the door. “I’m the best assistant manager you’ve ever had.”
“And the only one.” He followed her to his pickup. “But, Josie—”
She released the passenger side door, turned, and leaned against his truck. He forgot to say a word about future raises and promotions. His memory hop-skipped back to five years ago. She’d worn a white sundress—shit, he could still picture her outfit—and she’d damn near glowed in the light from the bonfire. And he’d known he wouldn’t walk away without tasting her.
Maybe that had made him an ass, a total jerk willing to take what he could get from his friend’s wild little sister before he’d left for basic training. He hadn’t wanted to go. He’d dreaded leaving his gran and his dad, hell, even the bar. But his family needed a steady paycheck, money sent home to keep Big Buck’s afloat. So he’d done the right thing—except when it came to Josie.
And he didn’t want to take the high road now. It wasn’t like that path had ever taken him anywhere he wanted to go. No, it had paved the way for two tours and made him the enemy in the eyes of the men who should have been like brothers.
He closed the space between them and placed his right
hand on the truck beside her head. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he murmured.
Her chin lifted and her eyes met his. He swore they were filled with the same hope he’d witnessed five years ago. He placed a hand on her hip, needing her to stay right here. If she moved away now, they wouldn’t find their way back to this place. He’d bury the need and face the fact that he was taking a helluva lot more than he could give.
“Thinking about breaking your rules, Noah?” she whispered.
“You asked for a bonus—”
“Do it, Noah,” she murmured.
He lowered his mouth. His lips brushed over hers. One gentle touch before he took what he’d wanted for the past five years.
His tongue swept into her mouth and he pressed closer. She arched beneath, the curve of her ass pressing into the side of his pickup. He ran his hand over her waist, moving higher and higher. Five years and she’d grown softer, her curves more defined, drawing him in . . .
He deepened the kiss as his thumb teased her breast through the layers of clothes. Her hips shifted, pressing closer, and then a leg circled him. The heel of her boot dug into the back of his thigh.
Don’t let go. Keep her here.
Right now, here in the parking lot, Josie didn’t need him. She wasn’t looking for someone to save her, teach her, show her a damn thing. He didn’t need to take her for a ride first on an old bull.
She just plain wanted him.
Her hips thrust forward as the muscles in her leg tightened her hold. He stepped one foot forward and allowed his thigh to slip between hers. Balanced, he lifted his hand off the side of the truck and ran his palm over the smooth surface of her thigh. His fingers toyed with edge of her sundress, thrust high on the leg she’d wrapped around him. And then he slipped his hand underneath, searching for more, anything she was willing to give him.
She broke the kiss, panting. “Noah, I need—”
“Anything.” He stared down at her. He’d take her right here in the parking lot if she wanted. The cab of his truck. The tailgate. He would stroke her until she came, or kiss her sweet mouth until the sun rose. He’d never ask for more. He just needed to stay right here, with her wanting him.
“You’re vibrating,” she said, sliding her hand over his chest. A shiver rippled through him, heading lower and leaving him wanting more. When had her fingers slipped beneath his shirt? He’d been so lost, caught up in her. And yeah, he’d tuned out the buzz of his cell phone trembling against his thigh. He’d been a helluva lot more interested in the woman pulsing against him.
He stepped back and withdrew his phone. “Shit.”
And that summed up just about everything. The fact that Josie had returned the boot she’d dug into his leg to the ground. The fact that she’d crossed her arms under her breasts as if presenting a physical barrier to further exploration. And the fact that her brother had chosen a pretty damn bad time to call.
He swiped his finger across the screen and lifted the phone. He couldn’t ignore the call. Now one of the elite army rangers, Dominic could be freaking anywhere and might not get a chance to phone home again for a long time. “Hey, Dominic.”
“Hey, man. Did I catch you while running? You sound out of breath,” his friend spoke over the crystal clear signal.
“No, just finishing up for the night.”
“Yeah, about that.” Dominic’s tone shifted, hardening, and Noah braced for the hit. His friend couldn’t touch him from half a world away, but he could pack a powerful punch with his words. “My dad said Josie moved back and she’s working for you now. How’d that happen?”
He had nothing to give his friend but the truth. “She asked, man. And I had to say yes.”
“That’s it?” Dominic growled.
“Yeah.” Noah looked at Josie. She unfolded her arms and held out her hand.
“Let me talk to him,” she said softly.
He nodded, but didn’t pull the phone away from his ear. “I got to tell you, your sister is the best thing that’s happened to this bar in a while.” And to me. “She’s standing right here. Want to say howdy?”
“It’s fucking four thirty in the morning there,” Dominic snapped. “What are you still doing—”
“Here she is.” He held the phone out to Josie. “Your brother’s pissed off.”
“WHAT HAPPENED TO school? I know you were taking some time off, but I thought you were going back.” Dominic’s voice boomed in her ear as she moved away from Noah’s truck and into the dark, empty parking lot. Glancing up, she searched for stars or a glimpse of the moon. Nothing but clouds. It was as if the night sky had decided to take a vacation.
But even a dark, gloomy summer’s night and her brother’s how-did-you-screw-up-this-time tone couldn’t penetrate the memory of Noah’s mouth crushed against hers. He’d kissed her as if he needed to take her.
“Josie, I know you’re still there,” her brother said. “I’m on the base in Tennessee. There is nothing wrong with this connection.”
“You’re coming home?” she asked, torn between wanting to wrap her arms around her brother and keep him safe in Forever, Oregon, and needing a little more time to jump-start her life here.
“No. We’re heading out tomorrow,” he said gruffly. “To the base in Turkey. Then, we’ll see.”
“Did you call Dad?” she asked.
“Yeah, which is how I found out you’re home and serving drinks at Noah’s bar,” he said with a sigh. “I thought you were going to finish your degree. You only had one more year.”
“I needed more time.” And seventy thousand dollars. “So I came home.”
“That’s it? That’s why you walked away?” Dominic demanded.
“Life doesn’t always work out like you think,” she said quietly. Sometimes it hands you a pile of heartbreak and you need pie. And I think Noah’s the perfect combination of sweet and tart.
But if she said that to her brother, he’d want details.
“No,” Dominic said flatly. “It doesn’t.”
And she wondered if he was thinking about Lily, his high school sweetheart. They’d broken up after he joined the rangers.
“If you’re sure about working there—”
“I’m sure,” she said firmly.
“Then put me on speaker so I can say goodbye to Noah,” he said. “And, Josie? I love you. Don’t forget that.”
“I love you too,” she said softy, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time she said those words to him. She walked over to Noah and held out the phone as she found the right button on the screen. “You’re on speaker and Noah’s here.”
“Thanks for looking out for Josie,” Dominic said. The hard, threatening edge had returned to his voice, signaling he was done with the I-love-yous. “For treating her like you would your own sister and all.”
“Dominic,” she said. “Don’t worry about how he treats me—”
“The hell I won’t,” her brother snapped. “Do you hear me, Noah?”
“Loud and clear, buddy,” Noah said. “I’ll take care of her. You focus on doing your job, staying safe, and staying alive.”
“Will do,” Dominic said. “Will do.” And he ended the call.
“Let’s go, Josie.” Noah took the phone and slid it into his pocket. “Time to get you home before you father sends a patrol car to look for you.”
He headed for the passenger’s door and she followed. “You’re not going to listen to him, are you? He doesn’t have the right to jump in—”
“He’s your brother. He has every right.” Noah opened the door and stepped back, waiting for her to climb into the truck.
She let out an indignant huff, but took her seat.
“The thing is,” Noah said, still holding open the door. He was grinning at her, offering a glimpse of his old charm. But the look in his blue eyes was pu
re sin and stolen kisses. “I don’t have a sister. I already warned you, Josie, I’m not some war hero. And I’m sure as hell not a saint.”
“No wonder I can’t stop wanting you,” she murmured. And he laughed.
“Hold that thought for another night,” he said. “And whatever you do, don’t tell your brother.”
Chapter Nine
“YOU HAVEN’T STOPPED by the club.” Daphne’s voice was lighthearted and upbeat. But even at eight in the morning after too little sleep, Josie could hear the hurt.
Josie sat on the edge of the twin bed she’d slept in until she’d gone away to college. “I’ve been working every night at Big Buck’s.”
With this crazy AWOL marine and a boss whom I want to see naked.
“I heard about the Hoppy Heaven,” her friend said. “Sounds like he’ll keep you around, and for the right reasons.”
“I hope so,” she said. “I have a payment due at the end of the month.”
Reality was like an anchor holding her ship in place and preventing her from sailing straight for happiness. Not that Noah’s bed was a beacon of bliss. OK, maybe it was—for a few hours, a single night, maybe two . . . But it wasn’t a long-term destination. Not unless she was willing to fall in love with him again and suffer the heartbreak.
Sure, she could push past fear for a night or two. Just like she could march into Oregon’s hottest brewery and win a contract. She could reach for a strength she wasn’t sure she possessed and play at being bold, even daring. But deep down, she was still terrified she’d stumble headfirst into a heartache she couldn’t handle.
“So how’s Noah?” Daphne asked. “Still surly? Or have you helped him find his smile?”
“He’s convinced that he’s not the hometown hero anymore,” she said. “He claims he’s a jerk. And I swear he’s trying to prove it.”
By pressing me up against the side of his truck.
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