I pulled my hand from his grip. “There is no us.”
“I know.” He winked. “That’s the problem.”
“Oh, brother.” I rolled my eyes. “Michael, you can’t be serious. I already told you…”
“You think about me too. I know you do. Plus, the fans are practically begging for it.”
“The fans don’t know how wrong we were for each other,” I muttered. “Though if they paid attention they would.”
This didn’t faze him in the slightest. His smile made it seem like we were flirting, exchanging sexual-tension laden banter when really I was dying to break away. It was moments like this that made me wonder if Michael’s affection for me was ever genuine, or if our whole relationship was some sort of heartless publicity scheme on his end. It twisted a knife in my already sore wound.
“Come on, Tamara,” he said. “We had some great times together, didn’t we? What reason do you have not to give it another shot? It’s not like you’ve got anyone else.”
My mouth fell open in affront. “So now I need to have another guy not to want to get back together with the guy who broke my heart and hung me out to dry?” Shaking my head, I turned and walked away.
Anger pulsed through my veins, but it served me right for pausing to talk to him when I should’ve gotten out of there tout suite the moment he sidled into view.
If Michael’s fans knew what he was really like, would they still worship the ground he walked on? He wasn’t always so bad, but as soon as fangirls from around the world started pumping air into his already too-big head he became insufferable.
And all I could do was hope that the writers would have a fit of mercy and kill him off.
Chapter 16
Alexander
The ticking of the clock got lost amongst the tapping of silver cutlery on fine china plates, but it somehow echoed through my skull.
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
How long had this dinner been going on? And how much longer until it was over?
“I must say, I do love the food over here,” Svetlana commented. “At home, we eat a lot of fish, and I’ve never liked it. I’m a terrible disappointment to my family.”
I chuckled, reeling my thoughts back to the present. “You’re in good company, then.”
She flashed a bright smile at me from across the table. Her blue eyes glimmered in the low light, vibrant against her pale cheeks. She was a stunner, but did nothing for me. All I could think about were Tamara’s eyes, molten bronze irises swirling with passion and mischief. I wished she was sitting across from me instead.
“Your brother told me about the little surprise on the way,” she said. “Are you excited to have a little niece or nephew?”
“Thrilled,” I replied. “I love kids.”
“You want some of your own one day?”
I set my fork on the plate, glancing down the table at Edward and Clarissa, who were chatting enthusiastically with one of the Swedish royal advisors Svetlana brought with her. I returned my gaze to Svetlana.
“Very much so,” I answered. “I’d have a whole litter of them if possible. And a dog for every kid.”
She laughed. “We’re total opposites. It’s the unspoken horror in my family that I don’t want any children at all.”
Ha. Now I had something to give to Edward to prove we weren’t compatible.
“None at all? Do you just not like them?”
She shrugged. “I want to travel the world, to never stop moving. I’m not good with kids and I don’t think I’d be a great mother.”
“You won’t be a great princess either with a mindset like that.”
She smirked. “I know. Another of my family’s unspoken horrors.”
For the first time, I felt a sort of kinship with Svetlana. Perhaps Edward and Nana were right that I’d judged her too quickly. I wouldn’t say we were a good fit romantically, but at the very least we had a few things in common—rebellion being one of them.
Nevertheless, even this interesting tidbit couldn’t hold my attention for long. My thoughts returned to Tamara at the next lull in conversation. I hadn’t seen her since our night at Springfield Manor a few days prior and I was itching like a junkie who needed his fix. I hated that our relationship had to be so hush-hush but I understood why, even if all I wanted to do was move her into the palace and keep her forever.
I was beginning to think that was the only way I’d ever get some peace.
The seconds ticked by with agonizing slowness, but dinner eventually drew to a close. The serving staff cleared our plates, and my father cleared his throat.
“How about a drink in the parlor?” he suggested, addressing the party of Swedes. “I’ve had our staff prepare your country’s traditional aquavit.”
Svetlana grinned. “That sounds wonderful.” She met my eyes. “Have you ever had aquavit before? It’s just vodka infused with aromatics, but it’s sensational.”
“I haven’t,” I said. “And I’m afraid I won’t yet have the pleasure. I’m going to be terribly boring and retire for the evening. I’m completely wiped out.”
Edward glared at me. “Oh?”
It wasn’t exactly a lie and this helped me meet my brother’s gaze with steel. “I’ve been working on our charity project all day, and Sir Hank and I had a long hike this afternoon.” I flashed Svetlana a charming smile. “It was a small miracle that I didn’t fall asleep in my bisque.”
She seemed a little disappointed, but at least wasn’t irritated the way my brother was.
“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to chat over the next few days,” she said. “Go ahead and get some rest.”
I smiled and politely excused myself from the table, heading off to my apartment without a single detour.
Yes, I had spent the day working and ambling through the countryside with Hank and yes, I was tired—but that wasn’t my whole reason for leaving early. I had a golden opportunity here. Everyone thought I was going to bed, and they’d all be too distracted to notice me slipping out. If they got drunk enough, I could be back before any of them woke in the morning.
And where was I going? To satisfy my craving, of course.
I wasn’t even sure I could call this compulsion to see Tamara a craving. Cravings could be ignored, they could be forgotten. They could be satisfied with a reasonable substitute.
What I felt for Tamara was different. It was like there was a piece of her under my skin that grew hotter the longer we were apart. Nothing else, nobody else, could quell that fire except her, and the relief I experienced just being around her was beyond anything I’d ever known. After nearly a week of burning, I couldn’t hold out anymore.
Hank was waiting by the door in my apartment and rushed to his feet when I entered, licking my hand.
“Wanna go for a car ride?”
His tail whipped back and forth so fast it was a wonder there was no sonic boom. I grabbed his leash and we left out the door I normally used to let him outside. If anybody saw us, they would assume I was taking Hank for a walk before bed.
I parked outside Tamara’s flat and hustled Hank up to the front door, scanning the list of buzzers until I found her number. I pressed it and waited, Hank seated patiently beside me.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Hey, Kitty Kat.”
“Alex? What the—“ The line went dead.
I rocked back on my heels and waited, and moments later Tamara flung open the door and practically dragged me inside. Hank trotted along behind me, stopping to sniff at the scents of the lobby.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Tamara’s eyes flew wide with alarm. “How long were you standing out there? Did anybody see you?”
I pulled her close, watching her pupils dilate. “I came to see you. Not long. No.”
Before she could ask anything else, I bent forward and kissed her. Her kiss was refreshing, a splash of cool water on my face that drove away all my earlier tiredness. I held her face in one ha
nd, pinkie finger sliding down her neck. Tamara curved against me.
We pulled apart and she shook her head in bemusement. “You and these surprises...”
“You love them and hope they never end?” I filled in, smirking. “Thought so.”
“Come on.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the elevator. “Joanne’s going to flip her shit.”
“First time meeting your sister,” I commented, strolling beside her. “Should I be nervous?”
Tamara snorted but didn’t answer. We rode the elevator in silence, absorbing each other’s presence. I already felt much better than I did at dinner. Even Hank seemed to be enjoying himself. He loved a good adventure.
We left the elevator on Tamara’s floor and walked to her door. She led me inside, where a familiar redhead sat with her spine completely straight on the couch and swiveled her head when we entered.
“Prince Alexander,” Joanne breathed, bolting to her feet. “Hey. I mean, hi. I mean...welcome.” She bowed low and stayed there for a second, probably more to hide the blush on her cheeks than out of respect.
I chuckled and approached her. “You can relax. I’m not into the whole bowing and curtseying business.”
Jo rose. “Shit. I should have curtsied. Is that what the chicks do?”
“I can’t tell if you’re putting me on or not,” I said, cocking a brow.
Tamara snickered behind us, but Jo’s eyes flared open and she shook her head. “No! Sorry! I’ve just never met royalty before. They don’t teach you this kind of stuff in American schools.”
I laughed. “They don’t teach it here.”
“How about a drink?” Jo asked.
“I’d love one.”
She hustled to the other side of the room while Tamara came to stand with me, threading her fingers through mine.
“You broke her,” she said, grinning.
“Oh my gosh! I just realized there’s a dog here!” Jo exclaimed, pointing to where Hank was busy inspecting a potted palm.
“That’s Hank,” I said.
“Sir Hank,” Tamara corrected.
Jo forgot all about making our drinks and bounded over to Hank, lavishing him with attention. He ate it up, and for a moment the two of them forgot anyone else existed.
Tamara led me to the kitchen and finished pouring out the gin and tonics Jo had started.
“What do you want to do?” Tamara asked. “If you’d warned me you were coming I could have ordered some food or found a movie to watch.”
“Not necessary. Though I am sorry for showing up unannounced. It was a spur of the moment thing and I didn’t think about it.”
“No, it’s totally fine,” she said, handing me a drink. “I just don’t want to bore you.”
I smiled. “Impossible.”
“Does he know any tricks?” Jo asked.
“He’ll do just about anything for food. His favorite is ham.”
Jo started scrambling through the fridge and produced a few slices of ham with a triumphant smile. “Ha!”
Hank’s tail was wagging furiously.
“We were watching some mindless TV if you want to join,” Tamara offered. “Or we’re open to suggestions.”
“No we are not,” Jo said, dangling ham above Hank’s waiting mouth. “It’s house renovation shows or bust.”
“That actually sounds lovely.” I pulled Tamara close, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin. “I can’t think of a better way to spend my evening.”
I couldn’t. I would watch a documentary on river rats if it meant I got to cozy up with my beauty all night.
Jo soon joined us on the couch and Hank curled up just below my feet. We sat together in comfortable silence, punctuated every now and then with Jo’s comments (“if he tears up that hardwood I’m going to throw a fit”) and Hank’s snuffling snores.
It was peaceful.
Normal.
It made me wonder what my life might have been like if I’d been born with another name to another family. I would never change my family and I loved them, but sometimes the idea of anonymity painted shades of green in my mind.
After a couple of hours, Tamara nudged me in the shoulder. “Jo’s asleep.”
I looked down to the other end of the couch, where Jo was reclined with her head against the armrest, mouth slack, one hand dangling off the couch, resting on Hank’s back.
“Time for bed?” I asked.
Tamara nodded with a smile.
She turned off the TV and poked her sister, who woke with a start.
“Shit.” Jo blinked. “I missed the end of the episode. Which house did they choose?”
“The one you liked,” Tamara said.
Jo blew out a sigh. “Then I can rest easy.” She lifted herself from the couch and ambled toward the bedroom, waving lazily. “Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don’t let the commoner bedbugs bite.”
I chuckled. “Goodnight.”
Tamara grinned and rolled her eyes, pulling me up. I bent down to kiss her once I was on my feet.
“I’ve had a pleasant evening,” I said.
“I’m glad. Are you staying over?”
“Do you want me to?”
Tamara nodded without hesitation. “That is...if you can. I don’t want you to feel obligated...”
I cut her off. “I would love to.”
She brightened. “Good.”
We walked to the bedroom hand in hand, Hank trailing behind us. Tamara patted the bed to invite him up and Hank didn’t even feign hesitance. He curled up in a ball at the bottom of the bed and was already fast asleep before I’d even begun to undress.
My eyelids sagged and my whole body begged me for sleep, but I forced myself to stay awake just a little bit longer so I could hold Tamara and inhale her sweet, feminine scent. Her back to my chest. Her head on my arm. My arm wrapped around her waist. It felt so natural, like we did this every night.
“Alex?” Tamara asked in a small voice.
“Yes?” I kissed the top of her head.
“Why did you come here tonight?” When I didn’t answer right away, she added, “Did something happen at home? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I assured. And then I told her the truth, as plain and bare as it was. “The only thing that happened was that I was at dinner and I realized there was somewhere else I would rather be.”
She settled into my arms and soon the two of us were fast asleep.
Chapter 17
Tamara
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about time, it’s that it passes. Whether you like it or not.
One second I was attending a masquerade party with my sister, the next I was elbows deep in a ball pit of feelings for the prince I’d been seeing romantically for nearly a month.
Funny how that happens.
That all sounds great, doesn’t it? But the nasty part was that time just kept doing its thing. Ticking away. Stopping for no man. So even though I was enjoying every second I got to spend with Alexander, the end of the summer loomed closer and closer. The days would grow shorter and then I would have to leave. And that would be it.
I tried not to think about it most of the time, especially since I couldn’t be sure what any of the feelings rattling around my ribcage meant.
Tonight, I was alone, and that made it harder not to think about. Joanne and Tristan were out causing mischief somewhere, and Alexander was at a party at the palace, celebrating the royal pregnancy, otherwise I would call him and get a little distraction.
The Friday night programming should have been enough to entertain me for the few hours until Jo came home, but loneliness dug sharp nails into my spine and refused to let my concentration drift. All I could think about was how much I wished Alex was there, how I wanted to squeeze out every second of our time together. Two months seemed like a long time, but between everything on my plate and everything on his, I wondered how much of that time we’d get to spend together. It was a horrible thought to dwell on, but I couldn’t h
elp myself.
I was flipping through channels when my buzzer screeched, startling me. Jo must’ve forgotten her key or something. I dropped the remote on the couch and walked over to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Special delivery,” came a rich male voice. I knew that voice.
“Alex?” I jammed my finger on the buzzer. “Get inside.”
I sprinted to the bathroom and checked my face in the mirror, then sprinted back to the kitchen and tried to appear casual, while adrenaline shot through my system like a flaming arrow. What was he doing here?
He knocked on the door and I opened it, mouth dropping open at the sight of him.
“Why are you wearing a tux?” I asked.
Alex laughed and entered the room, hands in his pockets. “Just be glad the dress code for these things isn’t still white jacket or tails.”
“Is the party really over so soon?” I glanced at the clock. “It’s only eight o’clock.”
“Aren’t you glad to see me?”
“Of course I am.” I stepped up to him, wrapping my arms around his hips and leaning into his chest. His touch brought immediate relief, like cool water on a burn. “I’m confused, though.”
Alexander tipped my chin up and smiled down at me, green eyes sparkling. “I got bored,” he explained. “I snuck out.”
I blinked up at him. “Can you do that?”
“Of course I can.”
“No, I mean—should you do that?” When that garnered no reaction, I pressed further. “Won’t your family get mad?”
“Kitty Kat, you worry too much.” He released me and took a step back, brushing a hand over my cheek. He smirked. “I’d be more worried about Teddy. He’ll be pissed when he finds out I came here and not his cousin’s castle party. He’s been badgering me for weeks to go and I’ve told him every time that I couldn’t get out of this family event.”
“That’s hardly comforting,” I muttered. “Now both your family and Teddy will think I’m a bad influence.”
“Tamara,” he said in a voice so smooth, so cool, that a shiver worked down my spine. “I’m here because I want to be here. You didn’t force me. And anyway, it’s too late to worry about all that now. I’m here and that’s that.”
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