Problem was, Levi’s rejection hit on an old wound.
That’s the funny thing about rejection, isn’t it? It sucks no matter who’s doing it, and when it happens you can’t help but think about all the other times you weren’t good enough, wondering what about your personality, your looks, your actions, drove those people away.
I could tell myself that Levi’s comments were his problem and not mine until the cows came home, but it wouldn’t stop me from wondering if maybe he saw the same unacceptable thing in me that my husband had.
Aaron.
My hands gripped the sides of my chair, and my eyes flicked open.
It was funny how well I glazed over the details of my heartbreak in my own mind. Even when telling Valerie about what happened, I never conjured up his name, his face. He was a phantom of my past and for the most part stayed formless and dormant, haunting the corners of my mind but never slinking forward into the light. He stood there now, front and center, smiling at me the way he smiled at everything.
Aaron had been a smiler. He smiled all through our relationship, never breathing a word of the unhappiness he claimed to have harbored inside for months until I caught them out. Only after I caught them did Aaron admit that I’d been living in a daydream of a happy marriage. Out of nowhere, he could suddenly rattle off lists of faults I didn’t know I had, ones I might’ve been able to work on if he’d brought them up before. I hadn’t realized that it showed how miserable I was at my job, or how that affected him. He didn’t tell me he hated how confrontational I was, or that the structure I placed in our home made him feel boxed in. Suddenly I was on my own with nothing to keep me company at night but a fat, steaming pile of rejection.
I cursed Levi for making me think about Aaron and his stupid, dimpled smile. I was a different person than I was in those days. I was stronger now. I shouldn’t be letting myself get pulled down to the same dark place I’d been when I walked into my home and found my husband and best friend doing the naked tango.
I got up and walked to the coffee machine. I needed to shake myself out of this, otherwise I was going to spend the rest of the day spiraling and I’d never get any work done. I had a business now, one that made me happy and hopefully wouldn’t cause me to push anyone I loved away. I didn’t blame myself for Aaron cheating on me—that was on him and him alone—but it would have been nice to know there were things I could have done to be a better me.
I sat back down at my desk and refocused on the task in front of me. Soon I was right back to where I started though since the thought of troublemaking wedding parties brought Levi back to the forefront of my mind. I wondered if I could get a dartboard with his face on it. Would that help? Maybe a punching bag...
Footsteps approached me from behind, and someone tapped twice on the top of my head. “Knock knock.”
I looked up and grinned. “Valerie! What are you doing here?”
She came around the side of the desk and presented me with a box of four cupcakes from one of my favorite bakeries in town.
“I thought I might drop in, see if you wanted to come out for a coffee?” She grinned and gestured to the empty Word document on my screen. “That is if you’re not too busy.”
I laughed. Valerie’s smiling face was just what the doctor ordered, and the cupcakes weren’t too far off the mark either.
“I would love to go for a coffee. Thank you so much for the cupcakes, though I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve them.”
“I just felt like treating my maid of honor, is that so strange? I was going to bring you beer, but I know how much you prefer the competition’s.” She poked me in the arm.
Her excuse was as transparent as a sheet of glass. Val felt bad for the whole Levi debacle from yesterday. Everyone seemed to, except Levi. Garrick and Gerhart both apologized profusely after Levi stormed out, but I’d begged them not to worry about it. I was a master of putting on a brave front and they seemed satisfied that no harm had been done. I had a feeling Val was not so easily convinced.
I grabbed my sweater, and we headed out onto the rainy streets, huddling together under Val’s umbrella. Spring meant the weather was so unpredictable it was almost predictable. It was sunny and warm yesterday? That indicated today would be rainier than the set of Singing in the Rain. Obviously.
I pulled Val into a coffee shop a block down the road. The aroma of roasting beans and cinnamon curled around us and a smile broke out on my face. There were worse places one could be caught in a downpour.
We each ordered an Americano and grabbed a seat by the window, where we could watch hipsters and tourists hurry down the street, while more seasoned west coasters strutted with raincoats zipped to their chins and their heads held high.
Valerie’s blonde bob had curled a bit in the damp and she combed her fingers through it to break it into waves.
“Have you had a chance to look at the websites of those stylists I sent you?” I asked.
Val nodded. “I have, but we’re not talking about wedding stuff today.”
“We’re not?”
The last time we’d hung out without talking about the wedding was our first meeting, so this caught me by surprise. I’d never had a client show up at my office to take me out for coffee before unless they had something wedding-specific on their minds.
Val cradled her mug in her hands and her brow creased. “I wanted to see how you were feeling after what Levi said yesterday.”
Another first. A client wanted to meet up specially to talk to me about my feelings. I always got along well with my clients, but it was unusual for us to develop any deeper a relationship than one would have with a favorite hairdresser. Then again, if anyone were going to break that boundary, it would be Valerie. Our relationship was starting to feel less like a business one and more like a genuine friendship, and though I knew I should be careful with how attached I grew, I couldn’t help but smile at her concern.
“That’s sweet of you to ask, but I’m okay,” I said.
She gave me a flat look. “I saw your face yesterday. Broke my damn heart. I wanted to talk to you afterward, but you seemed pretty determined to get home, and I didn’t want to press it.” She shrugged. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but I wanted you to know that what he said was uncalled for and not even slightly accurate.”
“I know. Levi’s a bitter person. Bitter people have bitter thoughts.”
“If only they’d keep those thoughts to themselves.” She brought her mug to her lips and drank. I followed her lead.
“It’s not you,” she said after a short silence. “There’s no excuse for Levi’s actions, but I’m going to tell you something that might help it not sting so bad.”
I leaned forward, eyebrows raised. “I’m listening.”
“Okay, so a few years ago, right before Garrick and I started dating, Levi had a fiancé.”
“A fiancé?” I asked incredulously. “On purpose?”
I couldn’t imagine Levi ever stooping so low as to love someone, nor could I imagine what kind of horrible woman might be inclined to love him back.
“Big time on purpose. Apparently he adored her, and for all he knew she adored him too. Then one day he went back to their place, and all her stuff was gone and her ring was sitting on the kitchen counter. He had to hear from a friend that she’d picked up and moved down to California, but to this day he still doesn’t know why.”
My mouth dropped open. That sucked. I could imagine a few reasons why Levi’s fiancé might have wanted to hightail it out of there, but nobody deserved that. I could empathize with him. If it were anything like what happened between Aaron and me, Levi must’ve been crushed.
“Has he talked to her since then?” I asked.
Val shook her head. “Nor about her. I don’t even know her name. Nobody in their family talks about it. Levi wasn’t a ray of sunshine before it happened, but since then he’s had difficulties trusting strangers.”
“Huh.” I sat back in my c
hair. “Doesn’t excuse him for how much of an ass he is though.”
She shook her head. “Certainly not. But like I said, it’s not you. I get upset when people don’t like me, and I was pretty cut up about Levi’s coldness until Garrick told me what happened. After yesterday I figured you had a right to know.”
“Thanks, Val.”
She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. Hers were warm from resting on her coffee cup, and I felt that warmth permeate down to my bones.
“Do you feel any better?” she asked.
“Tons,” I replied. “And I think you’ve just helped me crack my writer’s block.”
Chapter 9
Levi
I opened my closet doors and frowned. My closet ran the entire length of my bedroom and was filled with clothes, but the vast majority of pieces were unsuitable for the weekend ahead. Just another reason I shouldn’t have to go on this stupid skiing weekend.
I rifled through my sweaters, digging beneath the cashmere and Merino wool to find the couple of chunky knitted ones that Garrick had bought me last Christmas. The earth had nearly done a full rotation, and they still hadn’t left the bottom of my drawer. Garrick probably had at least ten in a similar style. I should’ve just raided his closet for clothes.
Why did I have to go on this trip anyway? Val insisted it would help the wedding party bond with one another, which was a complete sham when we all knew the ones who were going to bond already had. Val, Garrick, and Frankie got along like a house on fire. I told Val they would have a better time without me, but she wouldn’t hear of it.
I finished my packing by tossing a few balled-up pairs of socks into the top of my suitcase. Then I threw a few more. One thing I couldn’t stand about snow was getting cold and wet feet—or cold and wet anything, for that matter. The fact that my brother was having his wedding on Mount Hood during the middle of winter was bad enough. That I was being dragged there now for an awkward weekend with two women who hated me just added insult to injury.
I zipped up my bag and stepped out into the living room. Dark clouds made it seem later than it was, and a few flakes of snow drifted past the window. For all its faults, at least snow was pretty to watch. I had fond childhood memories of Garrick and I plastered to the window at my family’s cabin on Mount Bachelor, watching the snow pile up outside while our mom made us hot chocolate and my dad yelled at the football game on TV.
My phone rang and I checked the screen, then answered.
“On your way already?” I asked.
Garrick and Valerie were picking up Frankie first, then swinging by to get me. My plan for the car ride was to sit and answer emails on my phone. Or really do anything on my phone that didn’t involve participating.
“Actually, I’ve got a favor to ask,” he said.
I chewed my bottom lip and frowned. “Yeah?”
“There’s an emergency at Feisty Fox, and Val’s dad needs her help. It’s going to take a few hours to sort out, so she’s not going to make it to the resort today. I’m going to drive up with her in the morning, and I was hoping you could take Frankie up this afternoon.”
“Absolutely not. If you’re going in the morning, we’ll all go in the morning. Frankie and I will kill each other if we have to spend the night together alone.”
“Which is exactly what I said to Val when she suggested it,” Garrick said. “Only problem is she and Frankie have an appointment with the hotel manager this afternoon. Something to do with special requests for the wedding. Anyway, the manager is leaving for her Christmas holiday right after that meeting so she won’t be around tomorrow.”
“Can’t they just skip the meeting? Do it over Skype? Do these girls have no creativity?”
“Levi.” Garrick’s low tone warned me that I was dancing on his last nerve.
At the end of the day, this wasn’t worth throwing a fit over. Worst case scenario, and also the most likely scenario, Frankie and I could go to our separate rooms until the morning and we wouldn’t have to talk at all.
I sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
“Don’t sound so excited,” Garrick replied. “Frankie might get the wrong idea.”
“We wouldn’t want that to happen. You’re coming up first thing in the morning?”
“As long as everything’s sorted out at Feisty, which Val says won’t be a problem.”
At least if the entire brewery exploded in the middle of the night or something, we could just cut the trip short and come home.
“I guess I better hit the road then,” I muttered.
“That’s the spirit. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure thing.”
“And hey, Levi?”
I paused. “What?”
“Be nice, please. Frankie’s a good girl. I know you two don’t get along, but if Val’s wedding planner quits because you were too busy being a diva to remember your manners, she will kill you. Painfully. And I won’t do anything to stop it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, that girl is not a quitter.”
“All the same. Don’t be a dick.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow.”
I hung up the phone and let out a frustrated groan. This wedding was turning out to be more trouble for me than it was the groom. I was going to have a stiff drink the minute I stepped into our hotel.
I grabbed my bag from the bedroom and headed down to the parking garage, where my black Range Rover waited. Garrick was lucky my car was mountain appropriate.
I had Frankie’s number scribbled on a note somewhere, courtesy of Val, but didn’t think to bring it with me. Instead, I parked in front of her building and walked up to the front door to buzz her.
Her voice crackled through the speaker. “Hello?”
“Your ride is here.”
“Great! I’ll be right down!”
The cheery tone of her voice indicated she thought it was Garrick at her door and not me. She was in for a shock.
I was back at the car by the time Frankie stepped out the front door. I watched her face fall when she realized there was nobody else in the car.
For a moment I thought she was going to go back inside, but then she frowned and marched forward, her wheelie suitcase clattering across the pavement. She yanked the trunk open with more force than necessary and shoved her bag inside without sparing a word of greeting. Garrick would have probably waited outside to help her. I wasn’t Garrick.
A moment later, Frankie opened the passenger door but didn’t get in. “Where’s everyone else?”
“It’s just you and me,” I replied, staring out the windshield. “Val’s got a brewery emergency. She and Garrick will be up in the morning.”
From her hesitance to get in the car I gathered Frankie was running the mental math and trying to figure out if she could somehow skip her meeting. Finally, she sighed and hopped up into the cab.
Even though I also didn’t enjoy the idea of us spending the night alone together, something about her reaction hit a nerve.
“Look, I’m not thrilled about it either,” I said, pulling out onto the road. “Let’s just try not to kill each other.”
She snorted. “Awfully diplomatic of you, considering you’ve been a jerk from the start.”
I glanced over and found her staring determinately ahead, her lips set in a haughty line that made them pout ever so slightly.
“What? You’ve given up on me now?” I remarked dryly. “Must be a chilly day in hell.”
She gestured toward the snowflakes peppering the windshield but said nothing else. She’d made her point.
Frankie started to root in her purse, pulling out a pair of headphones that she shoved into her ears. Two could play at that game. I turned on the radio, and together we ignored each other for the entire car ride.
Chapter 10
Frankie
The whole drive to Mount Hood, I reminded myself I had bigger things to worry about in my life than Levi Wheeler’s indomitable ego. First of all, my father had j
ust gotten out of surgery. He was doing well, but Mom still worried and fussed like she always did when somebody she cared about was sick. I used to secretly love getting the flu when I was a kid because she’d devote her entire day to looking after me, bringing me soup and reading me stories and speaking in calm, comforting tones that were more healing than any medicine she shoved down my throat. My dad was getting the same treatment now, and there was no way for him not to recover when under the care of his helicopter wife.
I only wished I could see them at Christmas. It was a tough call, deciding to stay in Portland, but there was no way I could afford the flight this year. My parents and siblings understood since Dad’s surgery was the reason I had to stay put, but we were all sad about it.
I hoped this skiing weekend—all expenses paid courtesy of my very generous and very rich bride—would buoy my spirits a little. The only work I had to do was one quick meeting, and the rest of the time I would be free to relax and have fun. I was looking forward to getting to spend time with Valerie, too, since she’d been busy with Christmas promotions all month and we’d barely seen each other.
The only thing I didn’t find tempting about this weekend was seeing Levi. The irony of my current situation, spending the night alone with the one person I wanted to avoid most, would have been hilarious if it weren’t so frustrating. I hadn’t seen him since “the event” and my plan for the weekend had been to have a blast with Val and Garrick and ignore the hell out of Levi unless he decided to hit me up with an apology. The chances of said apology were slim, but it gave me a good reason to pretend he wasn’t even there.
Now there could be no pretending. Until tomorrow, at least.
I stared out the window the entire way up Mount Hood. The further up the mountain we went, the harder the snow fell. By the time we reached the ski chalet, the snow was falling so heavily that the windshield wipers could hardly keep up and my nerves were shot. Levi was calm as ever, but I didn’t release my grip on my seatbelt until he pulled into the underground parking lot.
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