Chasing the Dream (City Shifters: the Pride Book 5)

by Layla Nash

  I leaned my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes as I finished the second drink. I didn't even care that it was barely past noon. I could be drunk before dinner if I wanted.

  Edgar leaned over to nuzzle against my hair, his voice quiet. "The eight individuals you found. Did you kill them?"

  I took a deep breath, debating whether to tell them. But I only sighed and opened my eyes, looking at each of them in turn, daring them to judge me. "They all had terrible car accidents. Tragedies. Terribly unfortunate."

  Benedict snorted, shaking his head, but it was Logan who spoke, hands braced on the desk, and looked at me evenly. "I would have preferred to tear them apart with my own claws, just for the satisfaction, but to each their own. I imagine car accidents were more efficient, less likely to draw attention."

  Something in my chest eased. Maybe they weren't so bad. They certainly understood the draw of vengeance. As Edgar refilling my glass distracted me, there was a grunt and a flurry of activity from the cage. Sophia and Atticus were both in human form once more, and completely naked. But she trembled, staring at me like I was a ghost, and leaned against Atticus as if she couldn't sit up on her own. I felt terrible for her fear, but part of me rejoiced that I could see her again. I wanted to ask why they stayed in the cage, but before I dared ask, Sophia leaned forward. "I know I know you, but I don't know from where."

  "It's good to see you again, Soph. Really, really good." I wanted to smile, wanted to encourage her, but it felt like my face would crack or I would start crying and never stop. "Do you remember anything?"

  "Nothing before the orphanage." Her wide eyes remained locked on me, disconcerting in their intensity. She tried to remember me through sheer force of will.

  And an ugly seed of jealousy planted itself in my heart. She didn't remember anything. She wasn't burdened by the memories. She didn't see their faces every moment she closed her eyes. She didn't remember the pain and fear and loneliness. I'd give almost anything to forget. I cleared my throat around a sudden knot, not able to meet her gaze any longer. "It's better that way. It's a charity."

  When my voice broke, Edgar held me closer, wrapped his other arm around me until he nearly engulfed me. No one else spoke for a long time as I fought for control and Sophia stared at me, desperate in her own way. As I tried to straighten and untangle myself from Edgar, the door to the office swung in and two women entered. One looked at least four or five months pregnant, a small basketball on her stomach, and the other looked like she'd bitten into a lemon. A wolf. An alpha wolf. Her eyes went straight to me and she arched an eyebrow, maybe waiting for me to make obeisance.

  I bristled at the challenge, the requirement, and glared at her. The woman froze, eyes narrowing as she scowled at me, and even though Carter said something to her, she didn't move. My heart jumped, started to pound. I would have to fight her. I wouldn't duck my head or roll over to show my belly to her. I wasn't always a wolf, and I sure as hell wasn't going to subordinate myself to someone I'd never met. I'd fought for everything else, I would fight her if I had to.

  When she bared her teeth and Carter jumped up, I lurched to my feet. I'd meet her standing up, at least. I wouldn't show weakness to any of them, regardless of how much of my tragic past I shared. I'd go down swinging, and then I would grab my files and get the hell out of there. If she was part of the family, I didn't need the drama.

  Edgar caught my arm as the wolf started to growl, and the pregnant woman blinked as she looked at her. "What the hell is wrong with you, Ruby?"

  But the wolf never looked away from me. Edgar, his arm around my waist, scowled. "Carter, get her out of here. We don't need a brawl in my office."

  "There won't be a brawl," the wolf, Ruby, said. "As long as the little wolf acknowledges who's in charge here."

  "I'm not a wolf." I didn't blink, even with Edgar's warmth against my side. I wanted his arms to tighten around me again, wanted to lean against his chest and lose myself in the scent of his skin.

  "You smell like one to me." Her eyes glittered in the dim light, and she leaned forward, despite how Carter blocked her progress. "So let's figure this out, sweetheart."

  "Don't you dare fight in my house," Logan said from the desk, deep voice rolling like thunder through the large room.

  The pregnant woman rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation as she planted one hand on Ruby's chest and pointed the other one at me. "Everyone calm the fuck down already."

  Carter and Edgar immediately tried to drag us apart farther as Logan launched up and around the desk, face red in fury. His voice went from relatively calm to a lion's roar before he was even all the way upright. "If any of you jackasses fight around my mate, I'll fucking kill all of you."

  I couldn't breathe with his rage suffocating the room, driving away any sense of calm or peace, and even though I leaned against Edgar, I still felt like I might have to flee. The wolf and the wolverine were both very quiet in my head, acknowledging the massive predator who stalked toward us. The threat from Ruby paled in comparison.

  As everyone teetered on a knife's edge, and I prepared to fight if Ruby took a swing at me, a small voice came from the cage against the wall. Sophia leaned against Atticus and said, "This is the first time I've ever been glad to be in here."

  I didn't blame her one bit.

  Chapter 10

  Edgar thought he had a handle on the situation until Natalia put herself between Ruby and Ivy, and then all hell broke loose. Logan's pregnant mate would get them killed by putting herself in danger right in front of Logan. Edgar shoved Ivy behind him and caught Natalia by the shoulders, steering her gently to the side as he said under his breath, "You're going to get us all killed, Nat. Walk away."

  She scowled at him but retreated a safe distance, letting Logan get a hand on her so he wasn't quite so panicked. Natalia folded her arms over her chest. "I'm here to show that poor girl to her rooms so she can rest and freshen up before dinner. I'm sure sitting in a car with you all morning wasn’t much fun, and I'd like to get some good food in her before she settles in."

  Edgar kept his attention on Ruby. Ivy remained tense behind him, eyeing the other woman from around his shoulder. He didn't mind being a barrier between Ivy and anything else. "Ruby, take a breath. This is Ivy. She was one of the girls from the Auction. She's not entirely a wolf, but she's a lone wolf as well. She's not a threat."

  Ruby's eyes narrowed and the spike in her ear flashed as she shook her head. "She's close enough."

  "No challenges will be uttered in this house," Logan said, voice deep with irritation as he held Nat close. "From anyone. Got it?"

  Ruby grudgingly agreed, scowling when Carter took her aside and started muttering something in her ear. Edgar waited for a long moment before facing Ivy, checking her over for any damage. She looked pale, a little shaky, but otherwise unharmed.

  Carter cleared his throat as he looped his arm around Ruby's waist and took a deep breath. "I think some of us need to do a little meditation. Atticus, Sophia — would you like to join us?"

  When Atticus grumbled something unintelligible, Carter unlocked the cage and shooed Ruby toward the door. The wolf stalked out, not looking back, and naked Atticus soon followed. Sophia, staring over her shoulder at Ivy the entire time, eventually followed, and Carter herded them all out with a long-suffering sigh. Edgar thanked the universe for his younger brother and his zen approach to life. Carter was usually the only peacemaker that the rest of the family would listen to. Without him, they'd be a complete mess.

  Carter paused in the doorway, glancing back at Ivy with a kind smile. "We do yoga in the garden every morning, starting at six. You're welcome to join in if you need some meditation as well. And welcome to the house."

  He shut the door quietly behind himself, and everyone in the office took a deep breath. Natalia, leaning against Logan and rubbing her stomach in slow circles, frowned at the door. "What happened with Sophia? She was doing so well with the shifts."

  "She know
s Ivy. Sort of." Edgar ran a hand through his hair and nudged Ivy back toward the couch. "From her past. But Sophia doesn't remember that much, so she freaked out."

  "Oh." Natalia's eyes grew wide as she looked at Ivy. The other woman wouldn't meet anyone's gaze as she collapsed back on the couch, staring instead at the cage. Edgar held his breath as the silence stretched and Natalia's eyes grew shiny with tears. She cleared her throat and brushed at her cheeks, trying to laugh it off. "These pregnancy hormones. I swear. The silliest things make me cry and then I just can't stop." She bustled over to catch Ivy's hands, squeezing them tightly in hers, and spoke very clearly. "Well. You are in a safe place now, dear Ivy, and you will stay here as long as you want to. You are always welcome here with us. Always."

  Ivy looked to Edgar, a little uncertain, and he nodded. So she tried to smile at Natalia, only partially successful. "Thank you."

  "Good." Natalia gave a more genuine laugh, dragging her to her feet. "So now I'm going to rescue you from these men, and we'll get you all set up in your rooms. Are you hungry? Want something else to drink? Where on earth are your clothes?"

  Ivy stuttered and stumbled in Natalia's wake, looking back only once in near-desperation at Edgar, but he only smiled and called out that her suitcase waited in the foyer. Once the door closed behind him, he could exhale. Logan leaned back against the desk, expression dark as he folded his arms over his chest. "Well. Now what the hell do we do?"

  "These men are a threat to every shifter in the country. In the world." Edgar shook his head, pouring himself a drink. "They stole shifter kids, kept them imprisoned, experimented on them, God knows what else. We can't let this continue."

  "We don't know if it's still going on." Benedict frowned as he got up to get his own drink, pouring one for Logan as well. "She escaped ten years ago, and she even said the place looked abandoned when she went back. Maybe they were scared into closing down."

  "We can't risk it." Edgar started to pace, needing to move to dispel some of the adrenaline of Ruby's confrontation with Ivy. "What if they just decreased the size of the operation but they're still snatching kids? Jesus, she said they took samples. That it was a breeding program. What if they're still trying to genetically engineer these kids?"

  Logan covered his face and groaned. "I don't even want to think about that, Edgar. I'll call the Council together tomorrow night. You're meeting with Smith soon, I take it?"

  "Tomorrow morning." Edgar shook his head, staring into his drink when he reached the couch on the second lap around the office. "She said she was close to finding the last guy on her list. If we find that guy, he might have the answers we need to unravel this whole thing. We have to chase it back to the beginning, make sure we haven't overlooked anything. I won't be able to sleep at night unless we're sure."

  Logan stared without seeing across the office, and something tightened in the lines around his eyes. "I wonder how many kids they took. How many they killed."

  Edgar's chest hurt. He didn't want to think about it. Especially with Natalia being pregnant with her and Logan's first child — no doubt the alpha struggled to imagine what it would feel like to lose the baby. Edgar couldn't imagine. Even having lost his mate, even feeling as if he'd lost his soul already — the dream of a child with Anna, and then losing that child... He pushed away the thought before he broke down completely and the lion stalked into the woods to lay down and wait for death. He cleared his throat but his voice still broke. "We'll find out. We'll find them."

  "We'd better." Even Benedict sounded grim. "She's got files. Find them. Get them to Smith and whatever other investigators we need to hire. As soon as he's got something solid on the sons of bitches responsible, I'll start building a case. We'll take them down however we can."

  Edgar studied his bottle of whiskey, pondering how it got so low, then poured more into his glass anyway. He might never stop drinking if they couldn't figure out how to end whatever conspiracy stole kids away and experimented on them. "Smith might have more on them already. He's still working on tracing the information we got from Sophia's parents and the shifters in the Midwest. If we can bring his information and Ivy's knowledge together, we stand a chance."

  "If Ruby can keep from fighting with the girl," Logan said under his breath, shoving to his feet.

  Benedict pointed at their eldest brother, eyebrows raised in challenge. "And you need to talk to your mate about trying to get me killed. She can't just get in the middle of fistfights anymore, dude."

  Logan scowled but held up his hands to fend the lawyer off. "You think I haven't told her that a thousand fucking times? She doesn't listen to anything I say. And if I argue with her, she cries."

  Edgar snorted, staring down into his whiskey glass, but just shook his head when Logan shot him a dirty look. Benedict wasn't nearly so controlled, practically chortling with glee as he readied some smartass remark, but his phone rang before he could follow through. Benedict frowned at the phone, then answered it. "Eloise? What's going on?"

  Edgar traded a look with Logan. Eloise never called with good news. Edgar pressed his fingers to his lips to contain a belly laugh as Benedict's expression darkened. He said nothing else until he hung up the phone, and Edgar thought wisps of steam escaped his brother's ears. Edgar raised an eyebrow. "Something the matter?"

  The lawyer took a deep, calming breath — probably something he learned from Carter, even though Benedict would never admit it — and put his phone away. He downed the rest of his drink, straightened his tie and suit coat, and gathered what remained of his dignity. "That was Eloise. She said she needs legal counsel."

  Logan laughed, a sharp bark, but pasted a falsely sympathetic look on his face. "Brother, you need more cash to make bail?"

  "I'm sure it's nothing that bad." But neither Edgar nor Logan believed him. Benedict didn't even believe himself, because he went to the safe in the wall by Edgar's desk and took out close to fifty thousand dollars in cash. The lawyer shook his head as he headed for the door. "That girl, I swear to God. Sometimes I don't even know what the hell we..."

  His voice trailed off as he strode into the hallway and the door closed behind him, leaving Edgar to face his older brother. Logan limped over to the club chair across from the couch, and pointed at the seat Ivy had vacated. "Talk to me, Edgar."

  Edgar sat, though he smiled tiredly and put his feet up. "Poor Ben. Serves him right, for all the trouble he puts us through."

  Logan leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Edgar, come on. What's going on with this girl?"

  "She was in trouble, she needed help." Edgar dreaded having the conversation with Logan; he desperately wanted to avoid having to explain how he felt about Ivy when he didn't even really understand it himself. "I don't know what else to say about it."

  "Are you okay to help with all of this? Searching for whoever was in charge of these medical experiments? Helping her find what she's looking for?"

  "I'm fine, Logan. Really." Edgar wouldn't have believed himself, and he didn't expect Logan to, either.

  The alpha's eyes narrowed as he studied Edgar, then shook his head. "Something's different. About her, about you — I don't know. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, brother. You looked almost relaxed for a split second, and you didn't radiate despair. It's a nice change."

  Edgar shot him a dirty look. "I'm not that bad anymore."

  "You're not the same." Logan sighed and leaned back in the chair, though he didn't take his eyes off Edgar. "I've missed you, man. I still miss you. For the first time in a very long time, brother, I thought I found you again. Just for a second. I don't know what changed, I don't know what makes it possible, but if the girl is the reason I get my brother back, I'll do whatever it takes to help her. To keep her here."

  Edgar cleared his throat, staring down at his hands. He missed his old self, too. "I don't know what it is, Logan. I don't. Sometimes it feels right, most of the time it feels like I'm cheating on Anna. Like I'm betraying her."

  "You can't betray the
dead, brother." Logan leaned forward again and slid his chair close enough to grip Edgar's shoulder. "Anna is gone. She loved you, but she's gone. If you can love this girl, if she makes you happy — grab on to that. Don't let it go. Don't let her go. You hear me?"

  "There's a lot going on," Edgar said, concentrating on breathing. Sometimes he could barely remember how, had to force himself to inhale, to exhale, to inhale again. The weeks after Anna died were like that — one breath at a time. He felt like he was drowning, staring at Logan but imagining his life without Anna or Ivy. Losing them both might kill him. He cleared his throat and waved away Logan's concern and his brother's attempt to hug him. "I'm fine, man. I'm fine. But there's a lot of shit going on right now — Nat's pregnant, Sophia's still shifting when she shouldn't, now Ivy and these doctors... We have a lot of shit to balance, and I can't lose focus right now. I can't."

  "I can't do this without you, Ed." Logan didn't blink, though his eyes shone gold with withheld emotion. "Don't try to do this all on your own. If you need help, tell me. Everything else we're doing, all the business bullshit, pales in comparison to getting this right. We have to end the experiments. For good. And make it clear that anyone who tries shit like that will face a very painful, very quick death."

  Edgar nodded, scrubbing at his face before shoving to his feet. "We'll make sure of it, Logan. We will. Now you better go find Natalia and make sure she's not drowning someone with her tears. I've got work to prep for Smith before tomorrow morning."