by Layla Nash
Ivy managed half a smile, though her gaze lingered on Nat's stomach for a touch too long. "Yes, thanks. The rooms are nice and quiet, thank you."
"I thought they would be," Nat said, showing Ivy to a seat at the table next to Edgar. "Edgar's wing of the house is probably the quietest in the whole mansion. Refreshing, isn't it?" And she winked at Edgar.
He held his breath. It was just like Natalia to put Ivy in his part of the house, and now he had to live with the temptation right next door. No doubt that was Nat's plan. Edgar smiled as he pulled Ivy's chair out. "That's how I like it — peaceful."
Ivy sank into the chair, pretending like she didn't notice as Atticus and Sophia walked in and Sophia stared at her in silence. Atticus nodded, though his shoulders remained tense with Sophia's uneasiness, and before they sat, Natalia pointed them toward the opposite end of the table. Edgar took a breath to try and break the tension, but Benedict and Eloise shouldered past each other, nearly getting stuck in the door, and muttered insults back and forth as they sat down across from him.
Edgar had never been so glad to see the lawyer or his mate, and picked up a bottle of wine to pour for himself and Ivy. "So, Eloise. I hear you ran into a spot of trouble?"
Eloise made a face and slouched a little in her chair. "It was a misunderstanding."
Edgar nodded to Logan as his brother entered, followed by Carter and Ruby, but raised his eyebrows at the gorgon as her dark hair tangled into snakes around her head and poked at Benedict. "A misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding?"
"An expensive one," Benedict said under his breath, and when Eloise's expression darkened and she started to retort, the lawyer held up a finger to cut her off. "And now you've got to go see Geralyn about violating your parole. She could throw you in jail."
"You're just worried she's going to call your mother," Eloise said under her breath, then pasted a bright smile on her face as she turned to Ruby with a not-too-subtle change of topic. "So, Ruby, I hear you and Rafe are about to go to war with another pack. Let's chat about that, hmm?"
Ruby gave her a sideways look. "Nice try, crazy eyes."
Eloise scowled but caught sight of Ivy, who'd been doing her best impression of a statue. The gorgon leaned on the table to peer at her. "Hey there. Good to see you again. How's your back?"
Ivy blinked, glancing at Edgar and then Benedict before facing the other woman and reached for her wine glass. "Better, thanks. Violated your parole, huh?"
Eloise heaved a dramatic sigh and slouched lower. "It was just a misunderstanding, I swear."
"How is having a duffel bag full of steroids, shifter blood, and diamonds a misunderstanding?"
Edgar snorted wine through his nose at Benedict's exasperated tone, then coughed to cover it up as both Eloise and Benedict gave him dirty looks. The argument continued between them in fierce whispers and threats, but Edgar turned his attention to Ivy. "They thrive on chaos, I think. Their version of flirting. How are you feeling?"
"I'm good." She fidgeted with her fork, then glanced at him. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"Genuine curiosity?" He studied her expression, wondering at why she suddenly seemed shy and uncertain, then absently brushed a piece of lint from her sleeve. "Why does it bother you?"
"Because someone asking how I feel was usually preceded by an injection or a procedure or something awful." Ivy pretended to pay attention as Natalia gave directions to the servers and announced the first course was ready.
So Edgar gave her space and instead asked Ruby to explain the problems with the outside pack, letting the conversation ebb and flow around Ivy — including her but not requiring participation. He knew what it was like to be at a table full of people and not want to talk to anyone. They'd gone through the salad, the soup, something Natalia called an amuse bouche but looked like a tiny quiche, the main course, and were just about to start dessert when Sophia couldn't take it any more. She leaned forward on the table and stared down the full length of it at Ivy. "Do you know what they did to me?"
Silence rocked the table. Benedict dropped his fork with a clatter, and Natalia choked on a sip of water. She coughed and sniffled, waving away Logan's concern. "Soph, honey, maybe we can wait until —"
"I have to know." Sophia didn't seem to blink or breathe, until Edgar wondered if she would just pass out and save them the painful conversation. "Do you know what they did to me?"
Ivy sat back from the table and sighed, rubbing her forehead. After a long silence where no one moved, she looked up at Sophia without expression. "Most of it, I suppose. Not every single procedure or test, but the big stuff. Yeah, I know what they did to you."
"What did they do? Everything. Tell me everything." Sophia shook and trembled, even with Atticus's arm around her shoulders to hold her close.
Edgar counted each breath until Ivy folded her napkin on the table and tilted her head to consider the younger woman. Her voice was deceptively soft in the still room, as if Ivy talked about something innocuous and normal instead of something terrible. "They broke something in you, Soph. They wanted to implant a device in your brain so they could flip a switch and trigger your shift. The first kid they tried it on..." Her expression grew distant, and Edgar knew she was somewhere far away from the safety of the dining room. For a moment, tears glimmered in her eyes. "His name was Douglas. He was eight. He liked anything with wheels on it, and he hated the dark. Hated it. He died. They did the surgery and flipped the switch and he just ... died." Ivy looked up at Sophia and her face returned to completely expressionless. "They changed something, I guess, or went back to the drawing board, because they did the same thing to you. But when they flipped the switch, something broke in your head. You survived, but they broke you. You started shifting all the time, they couldn't control you. They took the switch out, but it didn't help. You stayed broken."
Ruby watched her, and Edgar feared the wolf might say something that pushed Ivy over the edge. But no one spoke until Sophia straightened her shoulders, tears running down her cheeks, and tapped the table near Ivy. "There's more, isn't there? What else is there? Before they broke me?"
Ivy took another deep breath. "You don't want to know. It won't make you feel any better."
"It might."
"It won't," Ivy said, gently. "Believe me."
Sophia gripped the edge of the table as she stared the other girl down. "How would you know? You remember everything."
Edgar debated ending the conversation, taking Ivy away until everyone could get their emotions under control, and nearly did so when he looked down and spotted Ivy's hands under the table. Shaking. Her hands shook uncontrollably. For all she looked serene and in control on the surface, the memories hurt her more than she would admit to Sophia. Edgar quietly captured her hand in his, under the table where no one would see, and squeezed her fingers. He desperately wanted to carry her away, back to the quiet part of the house where he lived, and let her cry on his shoulder if she wanted. Ivy didn't blink when he touched her, but she squeezed his hand back.
And she went on as if nothing had happened. "I remember everything, yes, but I didn't know why they did what they did until I stole my file. Until I read why they wanted us. That's what I wish I didn't know."
Sophia shook her head, vehement. "Knowing can't be worse than not knowing."
Ivy played with her fork once more, arranging the place setting carefully even as she tried to crush Edgar's hand under the table. "When the girls hit fourteen or so, they gave them hormone shots. Harvested eggs. Did experiments with test tube babies, combining DNA. In vitro fertilization. Implanted some of the girls with the fertilized eggs. Gathered stem cells if the pregnancy failed. Would you feel better, knowing if that was you? That you might have children in the world, being experimented on, even though you escaped?"
"Yes," Sophia said, but her voice cracked. Broke. So did the dam holding back her tears, and Sophia's face crumpled. Atticus held her tightly, his scowl growing as he grumbled and mumbled to
her, trying to comfort her. Sophia shook her head and spoke through the tears. "I need to know. I have to know."
Something died in Ivy's eyes, something faded away to nothing. Maybe it was that instinct to protect the younger girl, or whatever sustained Ivy against the memories of all that torment. Because Edgar had a sneaking suspicion that all the things she listed were her own history. His heart ached.
But Ivy only nodded, still giving half her attention to the arrangement of the fork and plate and wine glass. "Okay."
"Okay?"
Ivy looked up, a hint of a smile on her face, though it held unfathomable sadness. "Okay. I have your file. You can read about every injection they gave you, every tissue sample they took, every psych assessment they did. MRIs. X-rays. Lab work. Bone marrow samples. DNA mapping."
Atticus's voice interrupted, rough enough that Edgar tensed. "Enough."
Sophia buried her face against his shoulder, still crying, and Ivy shrugged, holding up her hands to indicate she wouldn't keep going. Edgar cleared his throat, spoke quietly so maybe Sophia wouldn't hear — or Natalia, tears running down her face, at the far end of the table. "Where are the files? Can you get them easily?"
"They're in a safe place." Ivy glanced up and around the table, then flushed and went back to her study of the place setting. "It might take a couple of days to get to them, though. I need to find the last guy on the list before I retrieve the files. They might be watching, they could track me or the files."
Atticus, eyes narrowed, leaned forward on the table to eye her. "Are you holding those files hostage until we help you find and kill the guys on your list?"
Edgar shook his head, "Don't be —" but Ivy barely blinked.
She pointed her fork at Atticus. "I'd be stupid not to think of that, right? But I didn't ask to be captured by that pack, and I sure as hell didn't ask to be auctioned off or purchased." She pulled her hand away, and Edgar's heart sank. Ivy didn't look at him. "I didn't ask for that any more than I asked to be imprisoned and experimented on. So the real question, asshole, is why I'm even bothering to help you at all, rather than running the fuck away as fast as my legs and your best car can carry me?"
And again, silence settled over the dining room. Atticus didn't blink.
Then Ruby nodded, tossing her napkin onto the table. "You'll do fine. Get your shit together, show us whatever you've got on these guys, and you'll have the entire city helping you. At the end of it, you answer Sophia's questions. Everyone wins."
"Except the sons of bitches responsible," Carter added, and raised his wine glass. "To evening the score and settling debts."
"Settling debts," Edgar said quietly, as the rest of the table lifted their glasses. Ivy looked grim. He wondered what she really thought of him, about him being willing to purchase her. He hoped they had time to figure it out.
Natalia jumped to her feet, wiping at her cheeks as she started gathering dishes. "Well, this was a fun dinner. I'm not making a chocolate torte for any of you miscreants ever again."
Logan snorted and muttered to her, helping her with dishes as the rest of the family got up and filtered away from the table. Edgar remained where he was, frowning at the plate in front of him, lost in his own thoughts. Just when he thought he understood Ivy, when he had a handle on her and how she would fit in his life, something happened and he saw a different, more dangerous facet of her personality. He glanced up as Natalia paused next to his chair and said, "Edgar, dear, would you show Ivy back to where her rooms are? Maybe you can take some coffee with you, or watch a movie or something. I know you've got an early meeting."
"Of course." He managed to smile at Ivy, though she looked nervous, and pulled her chair back for her. "You want to hear more about Eloise's misunderstanding, or take a break with some espresso?" Edgar nodded toward where Benedict argued with his mate about how the steroids got in the duffel bag, and how the duffel bag got in her locker.
Ivy smiled and headed for the door. "I'm sure you can give me the high points later?"
"I'll hear about it for weeks." Edgar sighed as they wandered into the hall and he led the way back toward his suite. His phone rang but he silenced it, not wanting to deal with Owen's silliness. They walked in silence, and the second time her fingers accidentally brushed his, Edgar captured her hand and held it tightly. Sometimes he didn't know the right words.
She didn't pull away. She leaned against him, head resting on his shoulder, and Edgar slowed his pace to make the short journey last longer. She said quietly, "Thank you for distracting me, when Sophia was asking... Sometimes I get lost in my own head and I don't consider other people's feelings. I wasn't being very sympathetic."
"No one blames you," he said, releasing her hand so he could put his arm around her and hold her closer. She smelled amazing. "It's understandable. It must be difficult to talk about."
"It's not easy," she said.
And then they stood in front of her rooms and Edgar faced her, studying her expression. She looked a little lost. Tired and adrift and alone. Just like him. His heart drummed against his ribs and he almost held his breath, wanting to kiss her but not knowing if she would kiss him back. He desperately wanted to connect to her, to figure out what it was that drew them together when everything he'd ever heard said he would never have love again.
Her wide eyes caught him, held him as she looked up at him, and Edgar leaned forward. He took his time, cradled her jaw, studied her mouth, then pressed his lips to hers. Her pulse thrummed against his hand and her lips parted. He deepened the kiss, tasting the wine she'd had as his tongue stroked hers, but something held him back.
She didn't melt against him, didn't relax or kiss him back. Edgar retreated, though he still touched her cheeks. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." Ivy blinked and licked her lips, though she didn't quite meet his gaze. "Why?"
"You seem tense." He leaned back to give her more space, trying to read her expression and body language. Her chest rose and fell quickly, as if on the verge of panic, and his heart sank. Maybe he'd imagined it all. Maybe she didn't really like him and only played along out of obligation. He folded his arms over his chest. "Please tell me what's wrong, Ivy. I'm sorry if I over-stepped, I thought..."
A flush rose in her cheeks. Ivy cleared her throat, staring over his shoulder, then rubbed her forehead. She still wouldn't meet his eyes. "I guess I've never kissed anyone before."
His eyebrows shot up before he could think to control himself, and she blushed almost purple after glancing at him. Edgar tried to recover but his thoughts couldn't keep up. Never kissed anyone before? "How is that possible?"
She threw her arms out in a violent shrug and strode past him, turning on her heel when she nearly ran into the wall, and made the return journey — although she gave him a wide berth. "I just — haven't."
Her dark eyes flashed to his and then away, a bitter laugh giving her a hard edge. "So there. Twenty-six-year-old virgin, never kissed anyone, never slept next to anyone, nothing. I barely know how to hug. Sorry to dump that on you. I understand if you don't want to waste your time."
He watched the tension in her body as she moved, fighting her emotions and struggling to keep herself together. Edgar didn't move to intercept her, though. She looked like she would shatter if he touched her. "Do you want to change all that?"
"What?"
He raised an eyebrow again as she faced him. "Not having kissed or snuggled or made love. Do you want to change that?"
The color drained from her cheeks and her eyes widened. For a second she looked on the verge of panic, and he struggled not to smile. A whole world of possibilities opened up in front of him, and though he didn't let himself get too lost in the fun of introducing Ivy to the sins of the flesh, the idea of being her first — for everything — nearly drove him mad. The lion purred at the thought.
Ivy hesitated, then threw her shoulders back and met his gaze boldly, almost in challenge. "Yes. I do. Want to change that."
Edgar wanted to
kiss her again, fiercely, to show her what she'd been missing. But he held back. He needed to build the anticipation, understand her expectations. "Why now? You're a beautiful girl, I'm sure you had plenty of opportunities over the last ten years to change the situation. Why now?"
Her breath came faster but her gaze didn't waver. "You. You're the first man who felt... right. I don't know why. But it — this feels like it's right. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he breathed, and took a step toward her. Ivy froze, so Edgar paused. He went on, never looking away from her. "Don't be sorry for that. It does feel right. You feel right. I'm honored."
She rolled her eyes and hugged herself, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if looking for an escape, and shot him a sideways look. "Honored? Really?"
"Yes." Edgar let a small smile escape as he eased toward her, needing to touch her skin and feel her warmth. The lion grumbled and insisted they immediately take her to his bedroom. Once she was thoroughly marked, he could talk as much as he wanted. Edgar caught her wrist and rested his fingers against her racing pulse. "Oh yes. The first time with someone new is always special, it's always different, but to be the absolute first... That's an honor."
She flushed more. "You're making this weird."
Edgar snorted and captured her face in his hands so she had to meet his eyes. "An honor and a challenge, Ivy."
She laughed, a nervous breathy sound, and started to say something else, but he interrupted her. Edgar sealed his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply, slid his hand into her hair to tilt her head back. He generally preferred a give-and-take, but he knew she would get so awkwardly in her own head that neither one of them would have a good time. If he could get her to relax, to enjoy herself... it would be magic.
As his free hand caught the small of her back and guided her closer, as she pressed full-length against him, Ivy relaxed. She leaned into him, closed her eyes, tentatively kissed him back. A purr started in the back of his throat to encourage her, and he lost himself in the wet warmth of her mouth, the gentle twist of her tongue, the soft give of her breasts against his chest. The real challenge would be taking his time.