by Layla Nash
Ivy sucked him, paused to lick the full length of his cock, her dark eyes watching his expression as he watched her, and Edgar felt the orgasm coming like a freight train. She murmured, "Is this okay?"
"Don't stop." He couldn't think. Couldn't feel anything except the wet pressure of her mouth and the soft give of her breasts against his thighs as they tensed. As his hips moved in short, jerky thrusts that she met and conquered. Edgar took a breath to warn her, but painful pleasure spiked in his back and he came in a rush, spending himself in her mouth as his cock slipped in her soft hands.
Ivy coughed, jerking back, and the last jet of his climax landed on his stomach. Edgar tried to think through the static in his brain, all of his attention still on his dick, and held out a hand to her. "Sorry, couldn't —"
He jumped as something warm and wet touched his softening cock, and he looked up in time to see Ivy licking his body clean. It was almost enough to get him hard again. Edgar caught her face and dragged her up to lay next to him, kissing her again before drawing the sheets and comforter up and over them. "Thank you."
"You're sure it was okay?"
"It was more than okay," he said, then spooned her close until he could smell her hair, tangled on his pillow. "It was amazing."
She yawned and wiggled, getting comfortable, then her breathing slowed and deepened. Before he could say anything else, she slept. The lion purred, content for the time being. He still wanted to mark her, to claim her. Edgar could wait. A couple days, maybe. He didn't stay awake much past her, though he liked listening to her breathe.
She left some time in the night, maybe around three, and though Edgar sat up to ask her to stay, she slipped through the door before he could shake away sleep. He stared into the dark for a long time, wondering whether it was a sign of things to come.
Chapter 15
I didn't sleep well after leaving Edgar's room, guilt at slipping away keeping me up just as much as sheer terror at what I'd done. What he'd done. What I'd let him do to me. I didn't feel comfortable in any of the borrowed clothes and changed several times before settling on different jeans and a sweater, although in reality I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. Most of the mansion still slept as I eased into the hall, checked for a light under Edgar's door before heading toward the back garden. I still got lost in the maze of halls and rooms, finally just exiting the house and walking around the porch instead of trying to get through the interior.
Carter and half a dozen others, including pregnant Natalia, had already started. They all sat on yoga mats in the grass with their legs folded, and Carter gave gentle instructions on how to breathe. I watched from the porch, leaning against the railing, but couldn't un-stick my feet to join in. Carter caught sight of me and smiled, nodding to encourage me to come down, but I just shook my head. I wasn't ready yet. Not quite yet.
I turned to go and ran smack into Edgar's broad chest. I stared up at him as my heart raced and all the blood rushed to my face, and all I could see was him kneeling between my thighs, mouth planted firmly on my sex and fingers doing unimaginable things as I moaned and made a fool of myself. I floundered for something to say, to say anything, but he held out a cup of steaming coffee. "Good morning."
"Good morning," I whispered, taking the cup and using it to hide at least part of my face. Holy God, I might never stop blushing.
Edgar leaned against the porch railing, studying his brother and the others with a slight frown as he tried his own coffee. "You should go down there, join in. There are extra mats. Carter and Sophia swear by it."
I flinched at the thought of facing Sophia again. That sure as hell wouldn't be peaceful. I just shook my head. "I don't want to be alone in my head if I can help it."
"I understand that."
The silence stretched and I couldn't take it, ready to jump out of my own skin. "So all of your brothers have mates. Where's yours?"
His eyebrows rose as he glanced over at me, and I immediately regretted letting the words out. What an awful thing to say, particularly after how kind he'd been the night before. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I just — I'm sorry. Your ghosts aren't my business."
"It's a fair question." Edgar took a deep breath, the lines around his eyes deepening. "She died years ago. Almost ten years, actually."
My heart sank, but I wasn't entirely surprised. Something in his eyes reflected my own pain back at me. Maybe that was why I trusted him. Why he felt more comfortable. He knew at least part of what I'd been through. And it was that familiarity, and the lingering intimacy of sharing his bed, that let me admit that piece of myself as well. "Mine too. He was in the program. He died when we escaped."
Edgar shook his head. "Bad luck, both of you being there."
"Not luck at all." I stared at the garden, not seeing the beautiful landscaping but instead a dark, cold night and electrified fences with razor wire along the top. I frowned down at the coffee. "They came up with a blood test to find mates, some way of figuring out how closely people matched up. They went out and found him, took him on purpose. They wanted to test whether being mates increased the success of ... producing offspring."
He cursed, loudly enough that Carter looked up with a frown. Edgar wiped at his mouth, turning away for a long moment before he faced me again. I braced myself for the condemnation, the accusations that I got my mate killed. Instead he took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry."
I shrugged and tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about Jake. But my voice didn't work, so the flippant dismissal never made it past my lips. An ocean of grief rose up around me, threatened to drown me. It still hurt, even after so many years. Some days it hurt more, building and building until I couldn't move or think or breathe.
Edgar let me curl in on myself, though his soft words struck right through me. "That's why you'd never kissed anyone."
"I never wanted to, after he died. They never let us touch, we only saw each other through glass and plastic. We held hands after we escaped, but we never... We didn't have time to even kiss before he died." I cleared my throat a couple of time, gripping my upper arms until my nails bit into my skin and the pain reminded me I still lived. "And then it felt like I was cold all over, like ..." I shook my head, floundering for words.
"Like you would shatter if someone touched you," he said, and it was his turn to look away. "Like you'd never be warm again, would never feel again, and anything like soft or caring or intimacy would kill you."
I tried to smile, though I thought it might crack my face. "Finally someone else understands."
He fidgeted, putting his cup down, then picking it up, moving his feet, looking nervous. Maybe disclosing something so personal upset him, maybe he needed an out from the conversation. But that wasn't like him, and he watched me too closely for someone who needed an escape.
"What's wrong with you?"
Edgar's hands flexed at his sides after he set the coffee aside. "The lion wants to comfort you because you're sad, but I don't know what will help."
And that made me smile for real. "I don't really know how to be comforted, so I guess we're even? I suppose we could give it a shot. If it'll make the lion feel better."
He glanced at the garden, where yoga seemed to be wrapping up, then caught my hand and led me around the porch to the east garden. Sunlight flooded the small private garden, even with tall hedges, and Edgar nodded at where a wide hammock swung between two massive trees. "This is where I hide from the rest of the family."
I hesitated but he flopped right into the hammock, basking in the sunlight like a true cat, and watched me with half-closed eyes. "Give it a shot. Hammocks are probably history's best invention."
I laughed, shaking my head as I approached, then studied the hammock a little dubiously. I couldn't just sit on him. Well, I could, but... I blushed, took a deep breath, and tried to crawl in with him. And ended up on the grass. Edgar sat up, struggling not to laugh, and held out his hand. "Here. Try again."
With his help, I managed to a
t least get into the hammock, but it took a great deal of wiggling, an elbow in his face, and his hands getting almost back to stage three before things settled into a comfortable tangle. My cheeks burned and I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see his expression. Edgar sighed, content, and played with my hair.
The hammock rocked as the air warmed around us, driving away the morning chill, and somewhere a bird sang. Edgar purred, a gentle rumble that vibrated through me in a soft tickle, and I smiled. Rested my cheek on his chest and snuggled a little closer. It felt right. I felt safe for the first time in years. Sleep beckoned, made everything soft and dulled the pain.
He traced shapes on my arm as the bees buzzed lazily overhead.
I sighed. "Tell me about her. Your mate."
He made a thoughtful noise in his throat, but the purr never stopped. "Her name was Anna. She was about four years younger than me when we met in high school. She was a lion as well, so our families were pleased when we met. She laughed like a hyena, but God, I loved the sound of it." He chuckled a little and the hammock rocked as he shook his head. "She had terrible taste in music and a worse voice — couldn't carry a tune in a bucket but she loved to sing. She'd start belting out a song anywhere. And she always borrowed my favorite shirts but wouldn't give them back. Pretended like she had no idea what I was talking about. She wanted to be a doctor or a photographer or a teacher. She would have been great at anything, really."
I smiled, trying to picture high school Edgar and his mate. "Ran circles around you, did she?"
He laughed more and his arms tightened around me for just a moment. "You have no idea. She talked Logan and I into all kinds of things, all kinds of adventures so she could practice her wildlife photography. We almost ended up in a zoo at least three times. Mom was furious but Anna had this earnest way of explaining things that always worked. Always convinced people, especially adults, that her ideas really were going to work."
He sighed, and I felt his smile as he rested his cheek on my forehead. "Tell me about your mate. What was he like?"
Cold drifted over my skin and I couldn't tell if it was a cloud or a memory. I didn't want to open my eyes to find out, and only huddled closer to him. The purr increased and he held me tighter. "His name was Jake. We didn't get a chance to know each other well. They had him for about two years before we escaped, and they let us see each other through glass, but we never touched until we escaped. If we talked, the shrinks recorded everything we said. So we did a lot of staring at each other. I did a lot of wishing. He had this ridiculous ginger hair. He was a tiger, so I guess he would be orange, but it was quite a shock. He was a good soul. A kind soul."
"He must have been."
"He tried to protect me," I said, and my voice grew rusty. "Even inside the cages, he would fight when they took me for a procedure. Hurt himself trying to get to me. Even though it was my fault he ended up there. My fault he died."
Edgar grumbled and shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, Ivy. None of it was your fault."
It was nice of him to say, but that didn't make it true. It had been my fault they took Jake — they wanted my mate so they could experiment on us both. If he hadn't been my mate, he would still be alive. Edgar's lion noises grew louder and he turned toward me, nearly pulled me under him, as if he wanted to smother the sadness right out of me. I leaned into him and dozed, let go of everything except the sound of his heartbeat.
When I almost slept, when I drifted through that gray area that was neither dreaming nor awake, I whispered, "Do you really think we only get to love one person? That we only have one true mate?"
The lion noises quieted, and he played with my hair, spinning it around and around his fingers. Edgar sighed. "I want to believe the universe isn't that cruel, that we get another chance or at least another choice, but... I don't know."
Neither did I. I wanted to tell him that he felt like my second chance, but dreams won over awake and I drifted away, his heart still thumping against my cheek and his purr rumbling in my ears.
Chapter 16
Edgar woke as something pinched his foot, and cracked an eye open to see Benedict standing beside the hammock. Edgar would have killed him if he woke Ivy, who still slept with her face pressed against his neck, and scowled at Benedict in warning.
But his brother dropped his voice and retreated. "We have the appointment with Smith in an hour. We need to leave soon."
The lion grumbled as Ivy stirred, and Edgar waved Benedict away. "Call Smith to reschedule. We can meet him for lunch."
But Ivy lifted her head, groggy as she looked around with a frown. "What? Why are we rescheduling?"
"So the lazy kitty can take a nap," Benedict crooned, and tried to rub Edgar's stomach.
Edgar kicked at him. "Go away."
But the damage was done — Ivy floundered about, trying to get out of the hammock without falling on her face, and nearly dumped Edgar out in the process. She rubbed at her eyes, lines from his shirt still striating her cheek, and straightened her clothes. "An hour, you said? I need to get some of the files."
"We have time." Edgar scowled as Benedict winked and disappeared into the house, then yawned and eased out of the hammock. Part of him didn't want to take her to see Smith. The investigator would be able to find the guy she was looking for, and once her list was done, she would leave. If it took a little longer to find the guy, he could convince her to stay. Being around her was the most peaceful he'd felt in years.
But he had the car ready to go outside the house an hour later, a breakfast sandwich waiting for her along with more coffee, when Ivy reappeared with an accordion file. Benedict sat in the back and whistled tunelessly, then frowned as he watched Ivy approach. "Hope I'm not ruining your date, Eddie."
"Fuck off, Benedict."
Ivy jumped in the front seat before Benedict could respond or Edgar's mood could improve. He handed her the sandwich and waited for her to buckle up before putting the SUV in drive. She half-turned and gave Benedict the stink eye. "Why are you here?"
"I'm his lawyer," he said, and nodded at Edgar. "I keep him out of prison. For the most part."
"I've never been to prison," Edgar said under his breath.
"You've been to jail a couple of times." Benedict went back to whistling, waggling his eyebrows when Edgar looked at him in the rearview mirror.
Edgar prayed for patience, though the steering wheel creaked in his grip. "When does Eloise go to see Geralyn about violating her parole?"
Benedict made a face. "Next week. The old cougar needed a couple of days to cool off, she said."
Edgar snorted. "That's not a good sign."
"Tell me about it." The lawyer sighed dramatically and picked up his phone. "She likes bears, though. Think I can get Kaiser to take her on a date, charm her a bit so she's less pissed off?"
"You could try, but I'm guessing Kaiser's pretty pissed at Eloise as well, if she was running shifter blood through his gym."
Ivy frowned at him, then back at Benedict. "She was doing what?"
"Allegedly running shifter blood," the lawyer said, holding up his hand. "Allegedly."
Edgar rubbed his forehead and tried not to laugh. "The coyotes run some underground fights. They won't stop, even though they could join the Council if they went straight, but... Anyway. They allow humans in the fights against shifters, but the humans don't realize they're fighting shifters. They just think they're fighting 'roided up meatheads."
"Of which dear Sophia was one, brother. Don't say that in front of Atticus."
"Who was also fighting." Edgar shook his head when Ivy looked about to ask another question. "That's a much longer story. Some of the humans asked about how to get whatever it was the shifter fighters were on, and voila — a new industry springs up overnight. If the humans take a shot of shifter blood, mixed in with something else, they get a momentary boost. Super strength, super speed, super senses. All that."
The color drained from her face. "You can't be serious."
"It
gets worse." Edgar took a deep breath. "The effects wear off after the fight and the humans come off the blood, but inevitably they want more. And the coyotes don't know if some of these clowns have taken enough to permanently change, because they're shitty criminals and don't keep records. They can't keep up with demand as some of these guys get hooked, so the coyotes have ... outsourced acquisition and distribution to others in the shifter community."
"And his girlfriend is selling shifter blood to humans?"
"She's my mate," Benedict said. "And these are all unfounded allegations. I object."
"You would." Edgar glanced at his phone as it beeped, silencing it, then turned into the garage near Smith's building. "But that doesn't mean it isn't true. Axel found a duffel bag full of the stuff in her locker at the gym. How more 'founded' can it get, dude?"
Benedict's irritation showed through as he scowled out the window and waved dismissively. "No locks on the lockers, asshole. And shouldn't we be more worried about what your girl has in those files?"
Edgar parked and kicked his door open without a word, going around to open Ivy's door with a tight smile. She eyed him but didn't say anything. It was a tense elevator ride up to Smith's office, Benedict pouting in the corner and Ivy fidgeting with her file folder next to him. Edgar flipped the car keys around his finger, tense and uneasy for no reason that he could understand, and managed a smile for Smith's receptionist.
She knew him by sight and immediately let the trio back to Smith's office. Ivy stumbled and Edgar slowed, took her arm. Felt better immediately as some of the tension eased in his chest. He shook Smith's hand as the older man rose from behind his desk. "Thanks for meeting with us."