“She murdered her aunt, killed her so that she wouldn’t have to be locked away, so that no one could medicate her, she wanted the baby to be mine even though we were never together. My mom came and took the baby for Josh, Jessica was put into prison, our fake marriage was annulled and we thought everything was fine. Now he’s dead, and I have a son. All this shit might have been different if I had known I had a son, I wouldn’t have given her the time of day that night, Josh never would have given her the time of day and none of this shit would be happening, my kid wouldn’t think I was a stranger from High School.”
His voice is cracking, the emotion too much for the both of us.
“I love you, Alyssa I do. I have loved you for so long it kills me. I know that this whole thing wasn’t your choice, it certainly wasn’t my choice but I want you to know that I love you and I am going to fight for you.”
And just like that, I don’t feel sorry for him, I feel sorry for me. Because I was the one who wanted to marry him, I was the one who was left alone to be a single mother. I was the one who spent 2 constant years pining over this man even though every sign pointed to him having moved on and not caring. But I wasn’t going to change my whole life, I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk being hurt again, I didn’t want to. No, I wanted to, but I was choosing not to.
“I’m engaged Tyler, as sorry as I am for what you have gone through, as horrible as I feel that you didn’t get to spend the first three years of Evans life with him, I am marrying Heath.”
He shakes his head, bunching his hands at his side like I had seen him do in the hospital when a panic attack was coming on.
“We are meant to be together Alyssa, it seems like everyone in our lives understands that but you. I knew telling you about Jessica wasn’t going to change your mind, I never expected it to, but I thought the fact that you knew this entire time I was still in love with you might. I thought that deep down you might still love me that in that heart of yours the little 8 year old girl with braids might still care about me as much as I care about her.”
He’s standing and slowly walking towards me at this point. I want to stand up and run, I try but at the moment my body and heart seem to be having a heated debate.
He kneels down on the floor before me. “You Alyssa Abbot are mine, you were made for me you are the only woman I could ever love. You and I will be together one way or another. I’ll give you time to sort it all out for yourself, but the moment you jumped on that plane in Germany for me, all those times you held my hand and rocked me while I was freaking out, that was you loving me, you caring for me and you will see that this, with me is where you belong.”
He stands up and moves towards the stairs, holding tightly to the railing.
“Don’t you need your wheel chair, why don’t you take the ramp in the back?”
I stand to walk toward him.
“I am going to get better, and I am going to show you everything about me that made you fall in love with me before. And the first step to that is not relying on a damn wheelchair to carry me around.”
I laugh at his egotistical beliefs of making me fall in love with him again being that easy.
I don’t bother arguing with him, I know deep down it wouldn’t be a hard thing to do, but I have a fight of my own planned.
I am going to fight Tyler Pierce and I am going to rage against fate and my own damn heart. I will not fall in love with him again. No matter what has happened in the past, I just can’t take that sort of risk.
But suddenly the thought hits me.
“If Josh is dead, who is the legal guardian of his daughter?”
Chapter thirty-five
Two days after Tyler and I talked that night, Heath called.
It was almost like he somehow knew that Tyler was still around, because he was the very first person that he asked about.
“How is the Tyler situation going?”
The nerves since that night had been nearly constant. Every time I left my room, I was worried that I was going to see Tyler.
And I did, of course I did, he was living with us, he slept in the room next to mine. He was everywhere all the time.
I just tried to continue living my life, aware that we shared a child together, a child he was slowly getting to know, and stick with my life plan.
Marrying Heath.
“Mom and Dad moved him into the house, Sharon wasn’t really able to stay home with him, and the Doctor wanted someone around him at all times, he’s determined to not use his wheelchair and they just worry that he might push it too far and get hurt.”
Silence on the other end.
“Anyway, I have to talk to Mom about the wedding thing, I told her that you and I have decided to move forward with the wedding, but she refuses to take part in us just getting married at a courthouse. What do you think?”
“I... Um...” he stutters “He’s really living with you?”
I let out an annoyed sigh “Yeah Heath, he’s like a son to my parents, they weren’t going I really don’t know all the details in the deciding factor to bring him here, I just know he’s here and he isn’t going anywhere any time soon.”
“You don’t have to cop an attitude, Alyssa how did you think this would make me feel?”
It’s the first time that Heath has ever been anything but nice to me. His voice is tense, the anger rising.
“I don’t have an attitude, you want me to tell my parents that he can’t be here. I don’t hold that kind of pull, I don’t understand what the big deal is, and you didn’t have a single issue when I was sitting by his bedside for 3 months while he went through physical therapy and all those medical treatments. Now all of a sudden you can’t stand the thought of him being around?”
Heath makes a displeased sound in the back of his throat, like he is laughing at my statement.
“You think I am jealous of him? Seriously?”
“I never once said the word jealous, those are your words. I don’t understand what the issue is here, Heath why are you getting so upset?”
And I know why he is getting upset, I know the exact reason, but I also know that he doesn’t want to admit that he is scared, and I don’t know how to reassure him in the right way that he has nothing to worry about.
“Have you told Evan that Tyler is his dad?”
“No, not yet, he came down the other night when Tyler and I were talking, I told Evan that he was Matt’s best friend and someone I have known since High School, Evan is three, I haven’t really nailed down a good way to tell him just yet.”
“But you are going to… You are going to tell him?”
“I don’t think I really have a choice, I mean he is his father. I don’t want some legal battle on my hands over my son, I don’t want that kind of life for Evan.” I explain.
“I don’t understand what you really think he could do to you, he is the one who turned his back on you. He is the one who ran off and did his military thing, married someone else and had another child. Don’t be naïve and think that you owe him anything, don’t pretend like he owes you anything.”
What the hell?
“What do you mean owes me anything, when have I ever said I feel like Tyler owes me something? You were there Heath, you have been a part of my life for the last year, I was trying to move on and create my own life with my son, I wasn’t holding on the any hopes of Tyler doing the right thing.”
“Yes you were, this whole time you have been wishing and hoping that he would come back and make everything right, and now he is there and he gets to do it. But he’s still married, he still has a kid with someone else, so maybe you should come back to New York and just let it all go for good.”
Mom walks into the kitchen, she takes one look at my face and walks to the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for me to take a seat. I do, watching as she pulls out the chair beside me.
“Heath, I care about you, I really do but I don’t know if you understand exactly what has happened here. Tyler didn’t know he had
a son, he never got the email that night. He has lost 3 years with Evan, three years that I could have helped him have if I had just known that he had no idea, you sound like you blame Tyler for this, but I am guilty too. I didn’t bother following up with him. So stop acting like Tyler is the only bad guy. And for the record, he’s not married, and he doesn’t have a child.”
And I hang up on Heath. Because he hurt my feelings, because I know deep down that the events the last few days have changed our relationship. It makes me sad. I thought he would be it for me, I thought that he would find a way to be there for me, like he always has. But the second things were uncertain and hard, he passively made me feel bad, like this situation was something I chose.
“Are you okay?” My Mom asks
“I am, he doesn’t understand Tyler being here, I don’t understand Tyler being here, but Heath was just a total asshole. He said I need to stop acting like Tyler owes me something, and behaving like I owe Tyler.”
Mom says nothing, just rubs my back.
Tyler comes walking into the kitchen, a huge smile on his face.
“Evan wants to play trains, he said you know where his box is?”
I stand up, shaking the sad feeling off the best I can.
Mom smiles at us both and heads out to the back yard towards her gardening shed.
“What happened?” Tyler gently grabs my arm before I can pass him to enter the living room.”
“I don’t know how to make Heath understand that he doesn’t have anything to worry about. He is upset that you are here, I think the news that you are back in our lives is a little hard on him because he is so far away. I don’t know how to make him feel better, I don’t know how to tell him you and I have nothing between us anymore, that we just share a son.”
I hold up my hand with the engagement ring shining “You would think the fact that I am wearing this still would mean something, that he would understand that I still intend on marrying him, but he doesn’t get it.”
Tyler crosses the distance between us in one quick stride, he puts his hands on either side of my face, and I can feel his breath gently blowing on my face.
“He’s a fool.”
And before I realize what is happening, or that he has moved, his lips are on mine, soft. So gentle I can barely feel them.
And then he pulls away from me, looking deeply into my eyes, but not waiting for me to react.
“How about those trains, Mommy?” he laughs
Chapter thirty-six
Heath hasn’t called me in nearly 2 weeks.
I have been so busy with Evan and Tyler that I haven’t really had time to sit down and consider what it means exactly.
He hasn’t called to tell me he is done. He hasn’t called to tell me isn’t done, he just hasn’t called. Period.
I texted him ‘Good Morning’ a few times. I would tell him about something funny Evan had said or done, but after a week of no word, I left it alone.
He needed to deal with this Tyler thing just like I did, and he needed time.
I put Evan to bed tonight, trying to not think about it too much.
He is totally hooked on Tyler, and Tyler is absolutely in love with Evan. I never doubted for a moment that they wouldn’t get along, they are so much alike, in so very many different ways.
Today we went to the zoo. Tyler brought crutches instead of his chair. I was nervous he would fall down and we would be in trouble without his chair, but he has refused to use it at all.
Mom says he is just being the stubborn Tyler we all know. She’s right. As usual.
Matt has been coming around a lot less, he’s been hanging out with Stacy, trying to help her with her hearing tomorrow. I know she is nervous. She doesn’t have anything to worry about, the case isn’t against her but I think she is scared to see Eric again.
I have tried to comfort her in the best ways I know how, but when I come to her house, or she comes here she just wants to talk about Tyler, about the kids, anything but Eric.
So we do. She’s beyond ecstatic that Tyler and I are spending so much time together. I tried to talk to her about Heath, asking her advice on what I should do. She told me to hop on a plane, head to New York and ask him what he wants to his face.
She’s annoyed with him, Mom and Dad are feeling the same emotions. He kind of dropped off the face of the earth. Dad’s frustration is the most obvious.
When Heath asked for permission to marry me, he promised dad that he would always support me no matter what I was dealing with. I think that was Dad making sure that I wouldn’t have another life experience like what I went through with Tyler.
At the first sign of hardship, Heath is nowhere to be found.
I know Stacy is right, I am going to just fly up there and talk to him, face to face and find out what the hell he expects me to do.
I’m not going to keep Evan from Tyler, which of course would be something most women would do, in order to protect their hearts and the hearts of their child. But I see how much Tyler loves Evan, and how he is truly absorbing each and every second he spends with his child.
I’m not going to move back to New York, Heath and I will have to make it work some other way. He could move down here, I know it wouldn’t be easy, but he doesn’t have family there, he has Addy and a job he can’t stand, he has always mentioned wanting to find another hospital to work at. Somewhere he has steady hours. I just know that if he really loves me, he will find a way to make something work.
**
Stacy’s testimony goes off without a hitch.
Eric tried to defend his attempted murder charges, it got him nowhere.
She cried when it was all over. I think knowing that she wouldn’t have to see Eric again made everything easier.
She was able to meet with a Divorce Lawyer who promised to help her file for divorce, the only issue was Eric told his lawyer to relay the message that he would stall a divorce with her as long as he possibly could.
The Prosecution’s side was able to ask for Eric to not be allowed visitation, meaning he would be unable to request visitation with the baby while he was in jail.
Stacy was going to work on having his parental rights revoked, which wouldn’t be an issue given the situation and the charges against him, but it would still take some time to see a judge and make everything official.
After the hearing, I took Stacy, Evan and the baby out to lunch. It was nice to have some time away from the house, away from the Tyler drama and just be with my best friend. I knew she needed that as much as I did.
“So how things with Tyler are, fall back in love with him yet?” She laughs, taking a bite of her Chicken Alfredo.
“They are going well, Evan thinks he is just the best thing ever. As for everything else…” I lower my voice so that Evan who is totally wrapped up in coloring dinosaurs on the paper tablecloth cannot hear.
“I still haven’t heard a word from Heath.”
She scoffs. Everyone seems to be drifting farther and farther from team Heath.
“Well, you have my suggestion, fly out there and see him. He can’t avoid you if you are right in front of him.”
“I know, but part of me doesn’t know if I even want to fight for him, and that has nothing to do with Tyler, I don’t want to be with Tyler but I do want to be with someone who understands the situation and doesn’t blame it all on me or you know who for this massive miscommunication event.”
“You know what Heath’s issue is right Alyssa?”
“No, if I knew what the problem was, I wouldn’t be so damn conflicted on how to fix it.”
“The issue.” She pauses, looking at Evan “is that anyone who knows you, knows that Tyler was your soul mate. It’s a lot for a guy to live up to. I don’t deny that he has tried, but I think Heath is licking his wounds because he knows that you still love Tyler, everyone knows you still love Tyler, you seem to be the only one who doesn’t realize that. Maybe he just decided you weren’t worth the fight, or maybe he is just tryin
g to figure out how to make sure you go through with the wedding.”
“Well, ignoring me isn’t a way to accomplish that.” I laugh
“No, I agree it is not. You will figure it out. But I think before you run off and try to fix things with Heath, you need to spend some more time with Tyler and make sure that you choose the right guy, because you don’t want to marry someone if you heart still belongs with another.”
“That is so damn cheesy and totally not the issue here. We don’t even know if Tyler still cares about me, I mean it’s been 3 years, he has probably had his fair share of other girls. I highly doubt he was pining over me this whole time. He’s just trying to be nice, because I am Evan’s mom.”
Stacy makes an annoyed moaning sound “Gah, you have to be the smartest, yet dumbest girl I have ever met. Have you ever noticed the way he looks at you? It’s the same way he has always looked at you. Nothing has changed for him Alyssa. Go talk to him, alone and trust your gut while you are doing it. Whatever your heart is telling you to do, do it. Hell, bring some tequila in, make it easier. You will figure it all out.”
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