“I know you don’t know us all that well,” he started, unsure of himself and what the sweet man would say.
“This is true,” Mac agreed with a nod, folding his arms across the buttons of his overalls.
“Right. We used to have a place sort of like this. Well, actually, nothing like this at all except for the fact that it was a group of people surviving together. Our apartment complex was secure for the most part and our building worked together to survive together. Christine was a part of that, and her fiancé, my best friend, who recently…well, he recently…left us. We lost him. And others. The walls fell. It wasn’t as safe as we made ourselves believe it to be. Luke was a part of our building as well in the beginning.”
“Yes, he’s told me all about that,” Mac assured him before he could continue. “He told me of you and them and of his failures and faults.”
Zack stared at the man’s narrowed, yet friendly eyes and wondered what that meant. Had Luke really told this man everything? Opened himself up to reveal what a sniveling, lying, cowardly useless bag of awfulness he’d been? If he had, Mac must be a saint to take him in still and trust him. Luke had proven his disloyalty to Zack and he was not sure he would ever be able to give the man another chance. This didn’t seem to be a problem for the man in front of him, though.
“If that’s true, why did you take him in?” Zack couldn’t help but ask. The curiosity was eating him up inside, derailing him from the purpose of the conversation.
Mac sucked in a breath and held it there as he pondered, his eyes looking up at the dark, flat ceiling above him. His gaze returned to Zack’s and he smiled. “When someone comes to me, lays their faults out on the line, really shows that they want to leave that life behind, leave themselves behind, and start anew…there’s no way I can deny them of this. Everyone deserves to shed themselves of their past mistakes to try to live a better life, don’t you think?”
Zack snorted softly through his nostrils, unsure how to answer this one. Everything Mac said sounded right, sounded exactly how Zack wanted to be and how he expected others to be, but something was holding him back from accepting it as truth for Luke. “Before I met Luke, I would say that’s one hundred percent true. But after all he’s done to us, the loss that’s accrued because of his mistakes, the lives that were taken because he couldn’t stand strong, the way I continually see him hide behind his young daughter’s shadow and put her in harm’s way to fight his battles…how can I give someone like that a second chance? How can I ever trust him to do the right thing again when he’s proven over and over that he will disappoint me beyond belief?”
“That’s a good question,” Mac said without hesitation, as if he already had the answer. “And it’s one only you can answer for yourself. No one can make you give forgiveness to someone. You have to want to forgive that person and trust that they can be changed for the better. Otherwise, you will live in doubt and fear the rest of your life. Forgiveness is as much for your own peace of mind as it is for theirs.”
Zack nodded his head, though he wasn’t sure he agreed with everything the man said. He just didn’t see how never forgiving Luke of the things he’d done will affect his life in the future, a year from now, five years from now, ten years from now. Most likely, Luke would be dead because he was not meant to survive in this new world, and Zack will have forgotten all about him.
“But you didn’t come here to talk about Luke, did you?”
Zack shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “No, I came to talk to you about my group, and this.” He reached into the back of his belt and pulled out a brown leather journal, holding it up for Mac to see and take in. “This was Liam’s journal, Christine’s fiancé, my best friend.” He said this as if it were a noble title for Liam, more for himself than for the person listening. “He was a scientist and we all believe this journal holds the key to putting an end to these monsters.”
He wasn’t sure what he had expected from Mac exactly, something big and dramatic or a slow surprise, but it definitely wasn’t what he got in return. Mac sat there, nodding his head slowly, his eyes resting comfortably on Zack as they always had; no surprise, no excitement, no curiosity to be seen at all.
Zack continued. “We’ve decided to make the journey to Chicago to put this journal in the right hands, if there are any hands left for it to be put into that is at the disease research center, but I want to change the plans. I think it’s best if I go the rest of the way alone and I was wondering if you’d let my group stay here with you until I return…if I return.”
Stoic and steady, Mac continued to nod his head and smile.
“You seem to have plenty of room here,” Zack went on, feeling the need to convince the man of why he should let them stay. “My group are hard workers and will do whatever you ask of them. We’d be so grateful to you for giving us safety, that’s for sure.”
“Have you talked to your group about this?”
Zack looked at the ground for a moment, his hands clasped between his spread out knees as his elbows rested for support. “No, not yet. I didn’t want to give them hope where there wasn’t any if you decided not to let us stay.”
“Why would you think I wouldn’t let them stay?”
Zack’s eyes rose to meet his as he drew in an unsteady breath. He leaned back in his chair again and ran his hands over his face to clear himself. “I don’t know,” he began in a huff. “Because you have this great community and it’s been here for months and half your rooms are empty. It’s hard to believe these are the only people that have found this place in that time and have asked to stay. I imagine everyone would want to stay here if they knew of it.”
“I understand,” Mac said. “But I haven’t turned away a single person who has asked to stay. I also have not denied a single person who has wanted to leave. People are free to come and go as they like here. This sort of living is not for everyone. Not everyone desires community once they’ve lived out in the wilderness, fighting the demons of the night for so long. Not everyone thinks it’s their responsibility to pitch in and make sure chores get done and people get fed. I let them make these decisions on their own. They know the rules and if they don’t like it, I help them to see that maybe this isn’t the place for them…but I never make anyone stay or go. That’s up to them.”
“So, my people can stay then, while I go?”
Mac leaned forward so Zack could not only see his eyes, but could see the swirls of brown in the irises and the whites around the edges. “Yes. Your people can stay and you are free to go, should they all agree.”
Should they all agree. The phrase rung in Zack’s head long after it was spoken. Would they all agree to this? He could easily see Carolyn and Rowan agreeing to stay. Neither was much for endurance in the outside world, both a little green in how they fought. One slip up and they’d both be dead, and he was pretty sure they both knew it too. And he was sure Olivia would have no problem staying behind with her new best friend, and Lee to stick by her side and watch over her as he’d always done. Dan would most likely not argue with anything Zack suggested out of guilt. He would be fine living out his miserable days down under the ground where he felt he belonged. The only two he felt would give him any trouble would be the Moore sisters, Gretchen and Christine.
Christine, of course, would become bull-headed and stubborn, not wanting to be left behind while Zack risked his life for a journal she felt rightfully belonged to her because of her connection with Liam. She felt a responsibility and he didn’t think she had it in her to sit back and let someone else take that on. Gretchen, on the other hand, would be quick to agree with her sister out of guilt for abandoning her all those years, wanting to make up for lost time by showing Christine she was on her side now no matter what. She wouldn’t necessarily want to go to Chicago to continue the journey, but she would follow Christine to the ends of the earth now that she had her back, should Christine refuse to stay behind.
Zack sighed. “Than
k you,” he said in short, though his voice dripped with gratitude.
“Don’t mention it. And talk to your people. See what they think, and let me know one way or another what ya’ll plan to do. I’ll help you get set up either way, brother.” Mac stood up and held out his hand to Zack.
The two grabbed ahold of each other for a moment, calloused hand to calloused hand. Without another word, Mac turned and left the small bedroom and Zack was left alone with his thoughts.
He had to prepare himself for the conversation to come now. If he didn’t present the idea exactly right, the whole thing could blow up in his face. Lives were on the line, and he wouldn’t take it lightly. It all rested on him now, and he was starting to feel like the weight was too much for him to carry.
X
Olivia sat square in the middle of Imani’s twin mattress supported by an old, weather-beaten box spring on the floor. She’d only spent one night sleeping on the cold, hard ground, but it had done a number on her right shoulder. She leaned back against the wall and let her body sink into the softened pillow-top padding.
Her eyes wandered the small space casually. Across from the bed was a tall skinny dresser. On top sat a framed picture of what Olivia assumed was Imani’s mother and family, sans Luke. In the corner, opposite the wall from the door, there was a wooden chair with a small nightstand that stood between the bed and chair with an oil lamp stationed in the center. Several chapter books lay in a messy stack on the floor under the chair.
“I could get used to this,” Olivia said as she smiled at her new companion.
Imani was still standing, though it looked like she was debating sitting in the hard chair or on the corner of the soft bed.
“It’s not bad,” she offered, lowering herself into the chair.
The oil lamp gave off a warm orange glow that engulfed the back half of the room where the girls sat. It was just enough for them to read each other’s faces and expressions. Through the steel door, not much could be heard of the goings on in the common area. Olivia didn’t have to hear Lee to know he was most likely sitting on the other side of the door like a guard dog.
“Sure is nice to have your own private space, though. We didn’t get much of that in the apartment, or out on the road before. It’s been a long time since I had my own room.”
Imani’s mouth pulled into a sympathetic frown. “Doesn’t help you have that giant always watching you.”
“It does and it doesn’t,” Olivia said more to herself than her friend. “Lee is the only person left that I knew before all this happened.” She saw Imani’s eyes widen with intrigue so she continued on. “I didn’t know him well. He was a nurse in the ER and he helped me when I was hurt once.”
Imani’s face relaxed at the simplicity of the relationship between Lee and Olivia, realizing there was no intrigue there at all, but Olivia didn’t notice this time. She kept talking, feeling a release in herself the more she spoke.
“I was on my own in the beginning, but not for long. I found a group, but they were terrible, horrible people, only out for themselves and willing to hurt anyone who got in their way. I had no idea why they took me …” She trailed off, her eyes distant as she remembered what had happened. With a deep breath she continued on. “…One night one of the men tried to force himself on me. I had to…” she trailed off again, this time from the tears that were welling up inside her eyes. She had never spoken this aloud before and the weight on her chest from the pain of it was almost too much to bear.
Imani came over and sat on the bed, placing one arm around Olivia’s shoulders. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Olivia smiled through her wet eyes as a tear rolled down her freckled round cheek. “No, it’s okay. It’s probably not good to keep it inside any longer. I’ve just never told anyone before.”
Her friend gave a reassuring smile that reached all the way to her eyes. It was just enough to convince Olivia to push forward through her story.
“I killed him. I had to. He wouldn’t stop.” She took another deep, ragged breath as she remembered the axe slicing into the man’s back, sticking straight out like a tree branch as he turned to look at it. “Once the others realized what I’d done, they ganged up, tried to kill me.”
Imani took in a sharp breath and covered her mouth with her hand. It was obvious then to Olivia that Imani had never used her weapons on anything but the dead. That was a whole other ballgame that Olivia was grateful her friend hadn’t played. She hoped the young girl would never have to.
“Luckily, nobody had fallen asleep with their weapon on them, only nearby. In the confusion most hadn’t grabbed them, but came over to see what was going on first. They shouted at me, tried to grab me, and I knew what they were going to do. I’d seen how brutal those people were. I grabbed the dead man’s gun and shot as many as I could.” Her voice was monotone, as if her mind were far away from her body. With unmoving brown eyes, she stared at the wall in front of her, an occasional tear streaking her cheek.
Imani waited with bated breath. She gripped both of Olivia’s hands in hers and held them tightly.
“The ones that hadn’t died from gunshot wounds, I went around to slit their throats one by one until there was no one left alive but me. I even had to go into the bathroom and take care of one of the terrible men’s wives. She had on these high heel red shoes that her husband had beaten another woman in the woods for. I was all alone again after that until I found Lee and the group he was with. Their leader was a real basket-case, but Lee protected me. He hasn’t let anyone harm me since. I can take care of myself, but it is nice to have someone care for you and look out for you. I just sometimes miss my privacy is all, but that’s not entirely his fault. Just the world we live in now.”
Imani nodded her head in agreement. Olivia’s eyes finally closed, forcing the rest of her tears to break the brim and stream down in silence. When she opened them, they searched her new friend’s face for judgement, condemnation, anything that would tell her Imani would never be friends with someone so awful, who’d done such horrible things in the name of survival. But there was nothing plaguing Imani’s sweet face other than a smile, pity, and understanding.
The young girl reached out for Olivia and embraced her tightly. Olivia relaxed into it, feeling the warmth of her friend’s body. She rest her head on Imani’s shoulder and let the hug last as long as she wanted it to, not once thinking about pulling away. Lee was a great protector, but he wasn’t much in the hug department. It felt nice to receive friendly affection Olivia thought as Imani pulled away and smiled at her.
“You’re extremely brave, Olivia Darling.”
Olivia snorted through her nostrils and gave a small chuckle, wiping the wet from her face. “Thanks, girl. You’re pretty awesome yourself.”
Their laughter carried around the room, bouncing off the steel walls and bringing about a lightness to the air that wasn’t there before. Olivia took a deep, relaxing breath that freed her chest and heart from the constriction it’d been under before. She hadn’t felt this free since she was with her own family.
XI
Lee Hickey leaned his head back against the cool steel of the door to Imani’s room. His legs scrunched up to his chest, he draped his arms over them and let them freefall. It had been hours since Olivia disappeared behind the door with her new friend. Why did that bother him so much? Why was he so afraid to lose Olivia?
Those were the questions that seemed to be on everyone’s mind when they stared at him as he kept close to her, hovering around her, watching her. It seemed abnormal to them, but if anyone knew what Lee had gone through after the fall they would realize how right he was in protecting her from the world, the monsters that inhabit it, and from herself. A sharp twinge ran through his tailbone from resting on the hard ground for too long. With a sigh and a grunt, he pushed himself up and stretched his arms high above his head.
“Hey, friend,” a wiry m
an with dark skin and an infectious smile said with a wave. “How you doin’? You doin’ all right? Can I get you anything?”
Lee finished his stretch and allowed a small smile to graze his lips in return. “Tha’s okay, man,” he said in his thick Irish accent, attempting to sound light-hearted.
“Well, you let me know, sir. I know this place like the back of my hand and I know how it can be settlin’ in somewhere new. You’re not alone, my brother. I’m Kevin,” the man said, his eyes twinkling as he stuck out his hand.
“Lee.”
“Man, where you from? That accent is cool, man,” Kevin said with a clap of his hands.
“Ireland,” Lee said, now unable to contain his smile.
Kevin was almost as tall as Lee, tall when compared with most other people. His hair was cut tight to his head and the sides were sprinkled with flecks of gray. Wisdom he called it. He dressed casually in a navy t-shirt and matching basketball shorts with a silver stripe down the sides. His face and neck looked dewy from working late into the night to make sure everything was in order in the bunker and everyone was taken care of.
“Well, I won’t keep you any longer, Lee, my man.” Kevin slapped his hand into the palm of Lee’s and shook it again, placing his other hand on top. “You have a good night, now.”
“Ya too, sir. Take it easy.”
The unexpected interaction left Lee truly lighthearted, no longer pretending, and with a smile remaining on his lips.
The room next to Olivia’s had been reserved for him upon his request. He opened the door and disappeared inside without a word, encasing himself in darkness. His large body flopped down onto the hard, weathered mattress. Though he couldn’t see it, dust billowed out around him and tickled the hairs in his nostrils. For such a broad man, he gave a small sneeze and rolled over to face the wall, hugging his knees to his chest for warmth and comfort. Mac had shown everyone where they could find extra blankets for their beds, but Lee was too tired to drag himself across the common area to grab one and he hadn’t thought to ask Kevin. His mind would not allow him to rest anyway.
Dead Soil (Book 2): Dead Road Page 12