by Megg Jensen
“That’s not the first time you’ve slapped me in anger,” Chase said, taking the reins from the stable master. “I hope it’s the last. I really don’t like it. I can take it from you, but I don’t like it.”
“If it makes you feel better, I don’t go around slapping random people when they say things I don’t like.” It was true. Chase ignited something in me. He knew how to provoke me in ways no one else ever had. Sometimes I thought he did it on purpose.
“Well, there is that,” he said. “Now it’s time to teach you how to mount your horse. Put these on first.” He handed me a pair of black gloves. I slipped them over my fingers, appreciating the tickle of the fur inside. “Go around to her left side.”
“I can’t get on the right side?” I asked.
“No. Horses are conditioned to accept riders from the left. If you try to get on the right side, there’s a chance Aphotica will bolt.”
“You wouldn’t do that, would you girl?” I stroked Aphotica’s mane, the silky strands running between my gloved fingers.
“Now look who’s talking to horses,” Chase teased.
I walked to Aphotica’s left, unsure how I was going to get up. I knew the stirrup had something to do with it, but I wasn’t sure of the correct procedure. The women I’d seen out my chamber window had grooms to help them up. It didn’t appear Chase was readying to assist me. He’d walked over to Aphotica’s right side.
“Put your left foot in the stirrup, hold the saddle with your right hand, and put your left on Aphotica’s withers.”
I followed his directions, feeling all tangled up. I still didn’t know how to get from here to up there. I swallowed my fear, putting my trust in this large beast.
“Now hop a couple times on your toes until you have some good bounce and swing yourself up and your right leg over!”
I bent my right knee, preparing to hurtle myself up in the air, over the horse. “I’m so sorry, Aphotica,” I whispered, afraid I might hurt her while mounting. I let out a breath and sprang up in the air. My hair flew out to the sides as my body flew upward and over. My right leg kicked over Aphotica’s back, landing squarely on Chase’s jaw.
He stumbled backward, clutching his hand to his cheek. “For Eloh’s sake, Lianne! Stop hurting me!”
“I’m so sorry, Chase. I didn’t mean that. I really didn’t.” I reached out toward him with one hand, while still hanging on to Aphotica’s reins. I slipped to the side, but quickly righted myself. “Do you want me to get off and check out your cheek?”
“No,” he said, stumbling toward Aphotica and me again. “I’ll be fine. I just wasn’t expecting you to kick me in the face.”
He shot me an angry look and rolled his eyes. A laugh burst from my mouth, surprising me as much as it surprised Chase. “I’m so sorry,” I said again. I threw my hand over my mouth, trying to stifle the sniggering.
“Well, if all it took was a shot to my face to make you laugh, I would have tried it weeks ago.” Chase smiled and dropped his hand. His cheek had already started to swell and the purple of an early bruise shone through his skin.
The laughter spread from my chest all the way down to my stomach. I gasped for air as Aphotica pranced in place. She tossed her head back and neighed. “Aphotica thinks it’s funny too,” I said.
Chase’s smile only got wider as he mounted Lightning with ease. “Now that you’re in a better mood, are you ready to take these two for a little ride?”
I grabbed Aphotica’s reins with both hands. I had no idea what to do, or how to guide her, but I had a feeling she and I would work well together. I imitated Chase’s light heel jab. Aphotica trotted forward, following Lightning as if we did this every day. Once again, I learned that fear was strong, but I was proving to be stronger.
In a burst of optimism, I leaned over and whispered near Aphotica’s ear, “Let’s take this up a notch.” She nodded her head and galloped ahead, leaving Chase and Lightning far behind.
Chapter Three
Wind rushed through my hair, blowing it out in all directions. I let go of the reins and held tight to Aphotica’s mane. My legs pressed against her barrel. The exertion of her muscles rippled through mine, making me feel like we weren’t two, but one, racing through the meadow on our way to the forest.
The scent of leather and hay mixed together, washing over my senses. I melted into Aphotica, laying my head on her neck and closing my eyes. I felt every beat of her hooves, every breath she took mixed with my own. My soul came alive again, soaring above the clouds with wild abandon. I’d never felt so real before, like life was tangible, not fleeting. Bryden’s face passed through my thoughts. His crooked smile warmed me.
He would approve of this. He would want me to feel unencumbered. Bryden only wanted me to be happy. Maybe I could be happy again someday.
Aphotica’s sweat mixed with my own salty tears. I didn’t think horses could cry, so perhaps this was her way of mourning with me.
We slowed to a trot. A voice screamed behind me. I sat up and twisted around. Chase and Lightning advanced on us quickly, dust flying up from behind Lightning’s hooves as Chase pushed him harder to reach us.
They came up alongside us. “What the hell were you thinking? You could have fallen off and broken your neck!” Chase pulled Lightning to a stop, yanking on the reins hard.
I tapped Aphotica on the neck. “We should stop, girl.” She trotted just a couple more steps, then halted, her nose even with Lightning’s. “I thought you wanted me to learn to ride a horse.”
Chase’s chest heaved with each deep breath. “I did, but not like that. You don’t have any idea what you’re doing.” Lightning reared up. Chase held tight to the reins, his legs straining against Lightning’s barrel so he wouldn’t fall backward off the massive horse.
“I don’t think I’m having any trouble here,” I said, patting Aphotica’s rump. “Maybe I need to teach you how to keep your horse calm.”
“Not funny,” he said as Lightning righted himself, all four hooves on the ground again.
I smiled. “I don’t know. I think it’s pretty amusing. Don’t you Aphotica?” The horse reared her head back, flapping her gums at Chase. “We’re getting along just fine.”
Chase reached over and grabbed Aphotica’s reins. He held them out to me with a stern look on his face. “Take them. It’s tiring protecting you when you obviously have a death wish.” When I didn’t take them, he tossed the reins at me. He slid off of Lightning, looking up at me. Stormy clouds passed over his eyes. “You weren’t trying to kill yourself, were you?”
I let the reins fall against my legs, still refusing to hold them. Aphotica and I communicated just fine without them. I held out a hand to Chase, unsure of how to dismount without falling down.
He ignored my hand and wrapped his hands around my waist. I lifted one leg over Aphotica’s back and slid down to the ground, dismounting on her right side. Chase held on to my waist for a moment longer than was necessary. I stepped away from him, feeling my back resting against Aphotica. Her deep breathing calmed me.
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself,” I said. “In fact, it’s quite possible that this little adventure might have finally convinced me to start living again.”
Chase stepped closer, trapping me between his body and Aphotica. His chest heaved and his eyes softened. My heart fluttered. I remembered the day he told me he wouldn’t kiss me unless I asked him to.
I might have been ready to live again, but it didn’t mean I was ready to love again.
Slipping around Chase, I ran to the other side of Aphotica. I nestled my left foot in the stirrup and flung myself over, landing squarely in the saddle. Chase backed away just in time to avoid another boot to the face.
“Race you back,” I yelled. Aphotica knew exactly what I wanted. She turned in a circle, then took off, leaving Chase and Lightning in the dust.
***
I tugged on Aphotica’s reins as we galloped closer to the barn. I was afraid she’d blow right past
it. I wouldn’t blame her. It couldn’t be fun, living in a small stall day in and day out. I decided to take her out for a ride every day. I looked down at Aphotica and wondered if she had another owner. My heart overflowed with jealousy that anyone else might ride her.
I turned around, looking for Chase. He and Lightning were still far in the distance. Apparently he didn’t want to race me. That was okay. It was the first time I’d been outside since Bryden’s death. I stood still, taking in all of the scents I’d locked away during the rawest part of my mourning.
The wisteria was in full bloom, crawling up the side of the barn. Spring had come early. I hid myself away from the world during winter. It seemed appropriate at the time.
I still wasn’t sure what the future held for me. I needed to figure out a way to defeat the Malborn army and stop my own people, the Dalagans, from attacking anyone else. And then what? My future was a blank canvas.
A movement at the side of the barn caught my eye. A shock of blond hair and a tiny foot peeked around the corner. I dropped Aphotica’s reins and tiptoed closer.
“I can see you. It’s okay to come out.” I didn’t want to spook her by jumping around the corner. I could wait.
The hair shook side-to-side and the slippered toe pulled back behind the wall.
“Oh well, she’s gone,” I said out loud to myself, hoping to draw her out again. I stood still and the little black shoe poked out again, followed by the appearance of half a face and an inquisitive eye, peeking around the side of the barn.
“I’m Lianne.” I squatted down, my head now level with hers.
“I know who you are,” she whispered. “You’re the one who will destroy us all.”
Chapter Four
I reached my hands out, palms up. “Do I look like someone who’s out to destroy everyone?”
My hair fell over my shoulder, reminding me again that I’d changed. Of course I looked like a horrible nightmare to this sweet child. I withdrew my hands and stood up, brushing the dirt off my pants.
“Lianne!” Chase called. Lightning’s hooves beat on the ground, creating an echoing shake along the earth. I felt the vibration through my boots. Even Aphotica nickered and shook her nose from side-to-side.
I looked over my shoulder at him, then turned back to the little girl. She’d already run off.
As Chase reared up next to me, I asked, “Who was that little girl? Did you see her?”
Chase nodded and slid off of Lightning’s back. “She’s the stable master’s daughter, Wren. She’s about eight, I think. She was probably bringing him lunch. Did she talk to you?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him what she’d said to me. I knew I was frightening now, but I had no intentions of destroying everyone. I wanted to stop the fighting, not make everything worse. Total destruction was not my goal.
“I would have been shocked if your answer was yes.” Chase tied Lightning’s reins around a post. I glanced at Aphotica, who was standing still, untethered, and seemingly uninterested in running off. Chase reached out for her reins, but she took a nip at him. He pulled his hand back quickly, narrowly missing a painful warning from her. “You better tie her up before she takes off.”
I looked at Aphotica. If I thought it was possible, I would have sworn she rolled her eyes. I shrugged at her, then took the reins and tied them to the post like Chase had.
“Why would it be such a shock for Wren to talk to me? Am I that unapproachable?” I glanced down at my embroidered leather pants and red corset. Was it the clothes or my hair and eyes?
“She’s never spoken to anyone.” Chase reached into a barrel and pulled out two apples. He tossed one to me and I caught it in a shaky hand. He held his apple out to Lightning, so I did the same with Aphotica.
“Actually, she did say something to me,” I said.
Chase turned his back on Lightning, totally ignoring the horse as it tried to grab the apple from his hand. Lightning’s lips pulled back in a grimace and he blew a puff of air at Chase’s head. “What did she say?”
“She said that I’d destroy everyone or something like that. She seemed really scared of me and ran off while my back was turned. I don’t know what she was talking about.”
“I’m stunned she spoke at all. I wasn’t kidding when I said she’s never spoken to anyone. I meant it. Not once ever. We should tell someone.”
“Johna?” I asked, meeting his eyes. I still hadn’t met Chase’s mother yet, so I wasn’t sure if I could trust her, and hadn’t seen Chase’s father since the day he took Bryden’s body away. The burial had been private, with no one in attendance. I couldn’t bring myself to watch them lower him into the cold ground. I wanted it that way and everyone was respectful of me. Or of Chase. I wasn’t sure which.
“Yeah,” Chase said. He untied Lightning’s reins from the post. He nodded his head, indicating I should do the same for Aphotica. I fumbled with the leather straps, my fingers trembling, still unnerved by Wren. We led the horses to the stable.
I avoided the stable master’s eyes. I didn’t want to be the one to tell him I’d been the recipient of his daughter’s first words.
If she’d never spoken to anyone and she talked about destruction, then it had to mean something. Something bad.
Chapter Five
Chase and I knocked on Johna’s chamber door. I felt my breath catch in my chest. It wasn’t Johna I was afraid of seeing. It was my mother, Kiran. I’d overheard two maids talking about how she was Johna’s new apprentice.
After we defeated Kiran, Chase’s contact, Xaxier, took her away. I hadn’t seen her since. Chase assured me she’d been taken care of and couldn’t use her magic anymore. I wasn’t sure what that meant.
How could I face Bryden’s murderer? Not to mention, the woman who’d siphoned my twin sister’s magic into me, given me up for adoption, and then expected me to join her in conquering both societies once my magic had awakened?
I’d refused to see her because I knew if I did, I’d probably kill her. Whether it was by accident or because I couldn’t control myself, I knew that she didn’t deserve to live if Bryden was dead.
Chase slung his arm around my shoulder and he pushed the door open. We walked through the double doors into an enormous room filled with herbs of every size and shape. The scent of lavender wafted into my nose, immediately calming my nerves.
“Well, hello, child.” Johna stood at a table, grinding herbs with her mortar and pestle. “I’m pleased you’ve finally decided to join the land of the living again. I was worried I was going to have to barge into your room and force you out.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. I probably would have singed your hair with my magic or something.” I strode over and fell into Johna’s outstretched arms. She smelled of spearmint and thyme, an odd combination that fit her perfectly.
“I’m sure you didn’t come for a simple visit. Nothing’s ever easy with you. What’s happened?”
Johna knew me too well. If I ever had to hide something from her, I wasn’t sure how I would do it.
“Wren spoke to Lianne.” Chase didn’t take the time to give an explanation.
Johna’s eyes widened and her lips pursed together. Her tools clattered on the table, the heavy ivory leaving multiple dents in the soft wood.
“No.” It came out no louder than a whisper. I squeezed Johna’s empty hands. Her face lost its color as she slowly sank to her chair.
“What?” I didn’t let go of Johna’s hands, but I still managed to crane my neck toward Chase. “What?” I asked him, hoping he’d have an answer, but the vacant expression in his eyes told me he knew nothing. His only concern was for Johna.
He shook his head, then joined us at the table. Placing a hand under her elbow, he stroked Johna’s hair back from her sweaty face. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t move, but in the faintest voice I could hear her muttering under her breath.
“I can’t understand her, can you?” I asked Chase.
He lea
ned in closer, resting his ear near her rapidly moving lips. Moving back, he lifted his fingers in front of her face and snapped. She didn’t come back to us. Her lips continued to move in the same pattern over and over again, lost to us.
“I think I know what she’s saying,” Chase said.
“What?”
“Reychel. That’s my mother’s name.”
Chapter Six
Chase hadn’t spoken much about his mother in the time I’d known him. Their relationship was strained, but I wasn’t quite sure why. He’d never elaborated and I was too buried in my grief to push much further. I stuck my head out the door and begged one of the slaves to find his mother.
I closed the door. His eyes focused on mine. I couldn’t make out his thoughts. Was he nervous or angry? “I guess you’re about to meet my mother.” He rubbed Johna’s back lightly, stroking his palm in long swipes. She lay silent in his arms, unmoving. Her heart was still beating, though. She hadn’t left us.
“I hope the slaves are able to find your mother quickly.”
“They aren’t slaves. Those people choose to work here and my parents pay them for their work.”
My eyes grew wide. Slavery was a common way for any kingdom to run their day-to-day operations. I’d never heard of paying people to work in a castle.
“My mother was a slave here as a child.”
“Wait,” I held up my hand, “I thought your mother and father ruled Serenia.”
“They don’t. Not really. She was a slave and also happened to be the daughter of the previous Malborn ruler, Kandek.” He sighed. “Now she and my father act as figureheads for the queen. It’s a long story.”
“Apparently. Will you tell me someday?” Not because I felt the need to dig into their personal business. I just wanted to know Chase better. He knew everything about me. It was time I learned more about him.