by JoAnna Grace
Gods help her, he was spectacular. Even in his pique, Ryse was a vision. Every movement was so controlled and full of purpose, glorious in its intimidation. Avery stood completely still as he paced in front of her, a lion sizing up the potential meal on the other side of the glass cage, his eyes never leaving her.
Keeping her chin up, she crossed her arms around her chest and blew out a breath. “Why are you lookin’ at me like that?”
“How is that?” The way he could keep such a calm tone when her whole body was shaking pissed her off more.
“Like you’re ready to rip my head off. Who do you think you are, rushin’ into my room?”
His eyes narrowed as he looked at her and his lips twitched. “Who am I?” he said. “Baby, you do have a lot to learn if you can’t answer that question.”
With every step he took towards her, she took one back until she hit a wall. “You don’t own me, Ryse. I’m not your toy and I’m not your puppet to pull the strings.”
“Oh, you’ve made that abundantly clear by your actions today, my love.” He was less than a breath away from her now. “What was Bren doing in here?”
She could hardly breathe. He was so close, exuding pure male sensuality and strength. His hard body only inches from her. Damn he smelled good. “He brought me the dogs and some things from Frank’s place that he thought I would want.”
“None of that explains what he was doing with his hands on you.” Ryse reached up to play with one of her curls. The nonchalance of it didn’t seem to fit the moment.
“I don’t have to explain anything.”
“Oh, but you should. Because if you don’t, all I can do is make assumptions. And do you know what I saw?” Avery swallowed hard at the hint of cruelty in his voice. “I saw one of my men trying to be more than a soldier to my woman. I saw his hands on her and his body much too close. Do you know how very suspicious that makes me?”
“Jealous much?”
“Yes,” he said, taking her by the nape and angling her head up, “I am.”
“Well, join the club, darlin’.” Avery grabbed at the collar of his shirt. She wanted to pull that collar, drag his lips to hers and kiss him with all the passion she was feeling.
Ryse furrowed his brows and scowled at her. “Is that why you had him in here? To make me jealous?”
“No. But I’ll take it. You think you’re the only single man around here?” Ryse released her and took a step back as if she had slapped him. Gathering what courage she had left, she put on a tough face. “You think you can order me around all the time? Don’t you think I’ve got the right to be pretty pissy with you? How do you think I feel, or do you care?”
“Of course I care!”
“Do you? Because if you gave my feelings a moment’s thought, you might realize exactly why I’m angry.” She didn’t even care that hot tears were leaking from her eyes. “I’ve never been given a choice about any of this. No one gave me a choice from the time I was born. My parents made the choice of what kind of life I would live, my parents chose to hide this whole culture from me and because of that choice, they’re dead. You chose to bring me here, chose to take me away from the life I knew, chose to claim me. Jeez, you even chose my damn room! I’ve had no say at all. I didn’t even have a choice in losing my virginity!” she screamed. “Your gods and those against them chose it for me!”
She slumped into a chair. Ryse stood in silence. The look on his face was pure defeat. Perhaps it was shock. Avery had never yelled at anyone so violently.
“Most people always remember their first time. Some might say they were too young or with the wrong person or even that they wished the setting was different, more romantic.” She laughed bitterly. “All I remember about my first time was that, up until a week ago, it was the worst day of my life. I never understood why I didn’t date, never wanted any of the boys that came calling. I was saving myself for a man I didn’t even know existed.
“Then they came for me. And I didn’t know why it happened. Why me? I didn’t understand any of it. One minute there was a nice man asking to use my telephone, and the next he was on me. I’ve never felt pain that bad. For years I felt dirty, like I could wash and wash and never be clean. I can still smell him. I remember every detail about his face and the clothes he wore, his breath.” She closed her eyes, wishing she could erase every memory of that day. “After a while, I came to terms with it. I became thankful that it happened to me instead of some other innocent girl in town. I would look at some of my customers and think at least it wasn’t you.” Her eyes met his. “But you, you had a choice, Ryse. You knew about me. Maybe you didn’t know me by name, but you were educated about the gods’ plan. You made your choice and you don’t get to be angry with me for being hurt about your decision. If there is one thing that I will have under my control, it’s how I get to feel. Don’t punish me for that.”
Ryse hadn’t moved a muscle. Slowly, he stood and walked over to the fireplace, braced his hands on the mantle, and stared at the flames dancing off the wood. Avery watched him for a long time before he finally spoke.
“I was weak.” The painful admittance was against everything he had ever been taught. Weakness was failure; weakness caused men to die. But what kind of a man, what kind of a husband would he be to her if he didn’t sacrifice in this moment and admit his sins? Precious Avery had shared her soul; he could do the same. “Andreas, my first Elite and closest friend, back when I had friends, was murdered in front of me. We were tracking a band of rogues that had grown in number. Most of the rogues that band together cause no actual threat. Most are too fearful of the gods to do any real damage. But this group was nearing the hundred mark and it was time to take care of the rebellion. Resistance and questions are permitted, tolerated to some degree. But outright defiance is not.
“Ares spoke to me, told me it was time to remind people that the Deities were the lips and eyes of the gods on earth and those who opposed them would be killed. That’s what we went to do. I took Andreas and three other men. We’re Thracians, that’s all we needed even against one hundred. All of the rebels were eliminated and we were picking up the mess when one of the men we thought dead rose to his knees. He pulled out a gun unlike anything I had ever seen and pointed it at me. Andreas saw and took the bullet, jumping at the bastard before I could react.
“The gun was the only one we found. We searched each body. There was only the one. It was a dart gun full of poison. It ate him, disintegrated him before my eyes.” In all his years, Ryse had never seen anything like it. Never had such a weapon been created. It shook everyone to the core. The immortals might have been in human bodies, but they are hard to kill. Ryse wouldn’t have believed that mighty Andreas could be taken down so quickly and so easily, or so gruesomely. “I was mourning him. Andreas had been my friend and my second in command. His abilities with the sword were unparalleled on this earth. Even Cutter paled in comparison. More than that, he was an amazing person. Beloved by all that knew him. You would have taken to him. He was very cheerful, similar to Bren. And he would have eaten you up.” He smiled at the thought of how Andreas might have reacted to Ryse being mated such a spitfire. The teasing would have never ceased.
Ryse’s memories went south when he thought about what happened next. “Salina came to me in a moment of weakness. I was broken and had let my emotions overcome me. I don’t remember how she convinced me. I wish I could say it was her mind tricks or the wine, but I think that would be a lie. My anger turned my heart bitter. In that moment of doubt, I gave in to her.” He looked at Avery, who was watching him intently, her face giving him no sign of what she was thinking. “I am not proud of that night. But I learned something after that, many things actually.” His people looked to him for strength and for the guidance they needed. Allowing his emotions to get the best of him had been a temporary failure to everyone. His life was devoted to the protection of his people and when he took his eyes off his destiny mistakes were made.
“What had
happened to Andreas was beyond my control,” he continued. “A true accident that no one could have prevented. Mourning my friend was not the weakness, but being ruled by my emotions was. I vowed that my temporary state of mind would not rule my long-term actions. Until you came along.”
He laughed as he sat on the couch and rubbed his face in his hands. “You’ve changed everything. You irritate me, make me jealous, defy me at every turn, allow men in your chambers. Everything about you goes against the grain. You make me weak.”
AVERY’S HEART BROKE for him. She knew all too well what it was like to have your best friend murdered before your eyes. And she too had made an emotionally based decision to murder Jerry. Was her sin so different than his? They had both done horrible things in the name of despair.
“I’m sorry, Ryse. I wish I knew how to be the Grace you need.”
Ryse stood and took her hands to pull her up. “Avery, my love, you already are. Every moment I was away from you today was miserable. I’m sorry about Salina and I swear to you, I will be rid of her as soon as possible. This is your home and if you do not want her here, then she will be told to leave.”
“It’s not only her, Ryse. I’m simply not cut out for this.”
“You were made for this, for me,” he said, pulling her forehead to his. “I can’t let you go so please don’t make me try.”
Avery moved out of his grasp, not able to face him. “You don’t own me, Ryse. You can’t act like I’m your toy and you don’t want the other kids on the playground to play with it.”
Ryse grabbed her hand and twirled her back towards him. “Well, you see, my love, you are very much mine to play with, and I will be very upset if the other children play with you,” he said with that mischievous grin that crumbled her resolve. He nuzzled his face in her neck and she felt that blissful warmth of his aura blanket them. “I am very protective of those that are mine. You cannot ask me to change that. It’s in the very fabric of my mind.”
She touched the side of his face, marveling in the way he could dissolve her negative emotions with one look. “I understand. And I respect the fact that you’re so protective. But there is a fine line between protective and overbearing. It might be okay with your men, but not with me. Like today with Valarie, you don’t have to fight those battles for me. If I’m supposed to be your partner, I might as well exercise my backbone. And Nikki told me that you freak out about touch. But just because I touch someone or let ’em touch me, it doesn’t mean it’s anything sexual.”
“So you and Brenden?” he questioned.
“First off, Brenden is head over heels for Nikki.”
Ryse’s eyes widened, his jaw went slack like he was thinking. “How do I not know that?”
Avery shook her head. “Never mind. Brenden said I remind him of his sister. He didn’t say how, but I gathered that she was—well, that she and I have a similar history. I survived and she didn’t. Brenden asked to be bound to me.”
“What did you say?” he asked.
“I didn’t think it was my call. Ultimately he is your man, right?”
Ryse nodded. “It would make me very relieved to have one of my Elites blood bound to you as a guardian. If Bren values you as he did Meg, there is no one that could be more devoted to you aside from me. I will see to it in the morning.” Ryse looked into her eyes and ran his fingers through her hair. “By the gods, you are the most exquisite creature they have ever created.” He pressed her body close to his. “I promise to be a man worthy of you.”
“So you do want me as your Grace?” Avery asked in a whisper. “I thought you didn’t tell me about being a Deity because you didn’t—”
“Don’t even say that.” Ryse put his forehead on hers. “It was an oversight. Nothing else. I guess I’m used to everyone knowing who I am. Forgive me, my love?”
Avery nodded, unable to find her voice through the relief that crashed over her. She snaked her arms around his neck and held him for a long moment. “Can we be done fighting now? It hurts too much.” Avery squeezed his massive form closer. She could barely wrap around him yet they fit so perfectly together.
His body relaxed in her arms. With a laugh, he kissed the top of her head. “That is the best idea I’ve heard all day.” Ryse bent his head and pressed his lips to hers. Oh, how she had feared she would never get this chance again.
She put everything she had into that kiss. What started out as slow and easy turned into fast and furious. After removing her ponytail, Ryse held her head firm, his other hand on her lower back. Her fingers tunneled into his long silky hair. When his tongue traced over her bottom lip, she gladly opened her mouth and allowed him inside. The taste of him was decadent and she wanted more, so much more.
Ryse reached down and caressed her bottom, lifting until her legs wrapped around his body. He took them to the couch and sat down, Avery straddling him. She felt his warmth and decided to figure out exactly how that worked. “Didn’t you say that you were shielding your full aura from me?” Avery could barely concentrate when his lips moved to her neck, his hands slipped under her shirt to smooth over her back.
“Mmm hmm,” he murmured against her heated skin.
“What if I wanted to feel more?”
“You sure you want to do that?”
Avery bent her neck, giving him more access. “You won’t hurt me.”
“Pain and pleasure are very similar feelings, my love.”
Her eyes were suddenly blurry. “I’m not scared.”
The sensory tidal wave crashed through her body. It made each breath deeper, made her heart race, and every hormone in her body took notice. Had she not already been sitting, she would have collapsed. Her body melted around him, conforming to his frame. Every particle in the air seemed to be electrified with his power. His essence was heavy against her and yet wrapped around them in a stimulating current that made her whole body tingle and squirm. “Wow,” she said, closing her eyes to focus on the sensual force of it all.
Ryse spoke with his lips brushing against her neck, “And that’s only about an eighth of my mental shields down.”
Avery considered the possibilities of that. If this was but a fraction and she was aching for him, how would she react when she faced the full force of Ryse Castille? She kissed him again and mentally let go, if only for the moment, of everything else. Right then, she wanted to enjoy the lips of this beautiful man underneath her. Ryse kept his aura opened and the weight of it was welcoming. She could feel him, feel his arousal and warring emotions. When she recognized it for what it was, she understood he was holding something back.
“What’s wrong?” Avery said, prying her body out of his arms. She pushed stray hairs out of her face.
Aroused Ryse was a picture she never wanted to forget. His lips were red from their kiss, his hair tousled from her hands. He was panting. He closed his eyes for a second before focusing on her. “As much as I would love to take you over to the bed and make love to you, I can’t. You’re not ready for that yet.”
“Oh,” Avery looked away and felt blood rush to her cheeks.
“It’s more than just sex, Avery.” Ryse held onto her face, made sure she looked up at him. “When a Deity and his Grace first come together, it’s the final step to mating. You receive your gifts and the gods give us their blessing. It can be overwhelming.” He stroked her hair. “I want to make sure you have no reservations when that time comes. Once you come to bed with me, there is no going back. We will belong to each other for eternity.”
Avery nodded, unsure of what to say.
Ryse gave her a kind smile. “We have only just met, my love. There is no rush. Our courtship can take as long as you wish.”
Her heart was glad to hear his reassuring words; her hormones, on the other hand, were not. But as much as she wanted to jump Ryse and not let him surface until the next morning, she was not ready to marry him. “If you can’t take me to bed, why don’t you take me on a tour instead.”
Ryse nodded, tipped hi
s head and then kissed her again. When the time came for them to be together, Avery had a feeling it was going to be the best night of her life.
Ryse showed his beloved all over the castle and the gardens. When they went to the stables, Avery found a horse that she just had to ride. She claimed it was the most beautiful animal she had ever seen. Ryse’s heart swelled with pride. The black Friesian stallion was his horse.
They went for a ride through the hills around the Haven. Castor and Pollux ran their legs off. It made Avery happy to watch them, so naturally Ryse was growing fond of the boys. Their afternoon seemed to stretch on as they explored. All the while they talked and learned one another. Ryse hadn’t spoken so many words in his life. But Avery was very curious about Olympian culture. For the first time since they met, Ryse felt like he was making real progress.
Avery listened to Ryse explain why he thought Salina was a distraction or a spy. She agreed that they should keep their enemies close, but he sensed her agitation about it. He laughed when she called Salina the snake-witch and then laughed even more when he found out that Dyna had somewhat coined the term. Avery told him all about her talk with his parents, especially with his father. The time they spent together walking around the lake had meant a lot to her. He tensed when she talked about Brenden’s arms being around her in the garden earlier that day, but said nothing when she mentioned something about Hayden with fondness.
In his mind, he knew that Avery was nothing like him when it came to touch. She showed her affection freely and constantly held his hand or his arm. He was learning, but it would take time. And Ryse did enjoy touching her. When she mounted the stallion and sat in front of him, he reveled in the way his arms wrapped around her waist, the way she rested her head back on his shoulder. Yes, touching Avery was a marvelous sensation. One he thanked the gods for.
In his heart, he feared that she would need more than he could give. Ryse had limited his touch for a reason. Not too many people knew what his touch would do to them and he intended for it to stay that way. Unlike him, Avery had nothing to lose by contacting others. But his touch could be dangerous.