“I never killed anyone before.” Kurt says.
Matthew doesn’t know what to say. He begins to understand the internal pain Kurt is dealing with. Nothing could be more horrible in Matthews eyes than taking another humans life, but he can't help but be grateful for what had just happened. If Kurt didn't show up, he’d would be dead right now.
“I know… it’s scary. But you can’t feel bad about it. It was either them, or us. That's just how it is now.” Matthew says.
Kurt wipes the tears from his eyes and continues walking. Matthew doesn't even understand what he just said. He doesn't understand why he said it. He never considered killing anyone, and he never imagined having to deal with this kind of stuff. It makes sense now. It makes sense that one would have to put your own life before others. Matthew follows Kurt down the street. He tells himself he doesn't want to kill anyone, but he accepts that this is the world he lives in now.
“Kurt, Laura is still alive. I left her back in town, and I told her that I would come back. We need to go find her.” Matthew explains.
“Okay.”
Matthew and Kurt head back into town from the direction they came. Matthew leads the way, while Kurt follows from behind. Matthew and Kurt walk up the hill next to the bridge where Matthew had jumped off. Once they reach the top, they soon notice something not too far away. One lone infected roams around in the center of the street. Matthew walks closer to it, and to his surprise, it’s Timothy. Timothy's corpse has been reanimated into an infected. Kurt notices the bullet wound on the infecteds chest. He forgot he would turn, even though he was never bit. It’s sad to think about, but Matthew realizes one day he will be turned into one of those monsters. Matthew walks past Kurt and raises his gun. Kurt puts his hand on Matthews shoulder.
“Don’t. You’ll need the bullet.”
He is surprised to hear this. Matthew feels it’s right to put Timothy to peace, but Kurt feels differently. He wonders why he feels that way. Matthew doesn't think one bullet is going to make a difference, but he doesn't want to argue. Matthew and Kurt walk past the infected Timothy on the street. They are lucky it didn't notice them. Matthew reaches the dumpster where he left Laura, but as soon as he opens it, he realizes she is nowhere to be seen. Matthew looks disappointed in himself. She could be anywhere. She could be dead.
“Damn it! I told her to stay here.” Matthew says.
“We gotta get out of here. The infected from the Cathedral are not too far away.” Kurt explains.
Matthew gets angry for a moment but accepts the fact he couldn't keep his promise.
Matthew and Kurt walk out of town. As they walk, Kurt puts his hand on his own shoulder and groans. The wound is sore, and Kurt is in pain. Matthew completely forgot about his own bullet wound on his left arm. It barely touched his skin, but it hurts more after he remembers it being there. Matthew looks at Kurt and gets an idea in his head. Matthew quickly remembers his mission to find his cousin Michael.
“Hey, I know a place where we can get some help.” Matthew says.
Chapter 5
Can’t Go Back
The shovel strikes the dirt in the backyard. Michael lifts the pile of dirt and throws it into the grave. It was hard enough burying his Mom, but now his Dad is gone as well. Michael continues fill the open grave with dirt. Behind him stand his two sisters, Sydney and Shelby, who are a year older than Michael. Sydney and Shelby are the same age as Matthew and look somewhat related. Sydney has blonde hair and is wearing a black spring jacket. Shelby has darker hair and is wearing a brown sweater. All their clothes look worn and unwashed. They are clearly struggling just like everyone else in the world. Sydney and Shelby watch their brother bury their father. None of them have accepted the loss yet, and still seem to be in shock. As Michael continues to fill the grave, his eyes become watery. He can't believe how fast the world turned on itself. He remembers it being so peaceful and happy. Now, it is only filled with pain and suffering. The wind becomes strong, and the three siblings become cold. Neither of them move from their place though. The sun set is almost done, and it is becoming dark outside. This means nothing to them.
Michael finishes filling the grave and steps back for a moment to look at his backyard. There are two graves. One for each of their parents. Michael wipes the tears from his eyes and drops the shovel on the ground. Michael turns around and walks back into the house through the back door. Shelby waits for a moment, but eventually turns and walks back into the house as well. Sydney just stands there staring at the graves of her parents. She can't believe they are gone. She has never dealt with this kind of loss before, and she doesn't know how to now. After a moment, Sydney walks past the graves and toward some trees near the back of the yard. She walks over to one in particular that happens to be bigger than the others. She looks down and sees a few twigs on the ground. Sydney crouches down and picks up two of the twigs on the ground. One of the twigs is twice as long as the other. Sydney just stares at them for a moment, and then decides to stand up and go back to the house.
Sydney sits on the steps which lead up to the back door of the house and takes off one of her shoes. She begins to untie the laces and pulls them out. After a moment of untying, she finally fully removes the laces from her shoe. Sydney puts her shoe back on and looks at both of her feet while sitting. Now both of her shoes have no laces.
Sydney picks up the two twigs and the shoelace. She places the shorter twig on top of the longer one horizontally to form a cross. Then she gets her shoe lace and begins to tie and knot the two pieces together. Eventually, she finishes making the cross. Sydney holds it in her hands while thinking about her parents. After a moment, Sydney gets up and walks over to the fresh grave where her father rests. She crouches down near the head of the grave and places the cross in the ground. After losing her mother, she never thought she would have to go through the same pain again, but she was wrong. Sydney looks over to her mother's grave and looks at the cross she made for that grave a few days prior. The cross is made from two twigs and a shoelace. That is why both of her shoes have no laces. Sydney stands up and walks back to the house. She feels numb to the pain, simply because of the shock from it all. Sydney climbs the steps goes inside.
Michael puts his hands on the table and looks down. He is still grieving for his parents but is also angry with himself. He knows he could have prevented this. He spent a lot of time scouting and looting, so he knows how to deal with the infected. There is no reason why this should have happened to his parents. Michael realizes time is running out for him and his sisters to stay safe in their home. Shelby walks into the kitchen and looks at Michael. She looks emotional and angry.
“What are we doing? Huh?”
Michael turns around, “What?”
“When are we going to leave Michael? It’s not safe here anymore!” Shelby shouts.
Michael stares at his sister, not understanding why she is asking this question. The two of them have had this conversation in the past, and it always ends the same way.
“It’s not any safer out there. We need to wait here.” Michael explains.
“Michael. He is not coming! It’s been a month since he told you that!”
Sydney steps into the kitchen, still emotionally disturbed and sad due to the loss of her parents. She doesn't say anything, and just watches.
“He is. He has to be. If we leave, and then he shows up-”
“He doesn't live that far, Michael! It shouldn't take this long to get here. When are you going to accept the fact that Matthew is dead!?” Shelby asks.
“Shut the fuck up!” Sydney screams.
Michael and Shelby turn to face their sister. They are both caught off guard by her. Sydney looks angry, but she also looks like she is about to cry. She is clearly suffering and doesn't want to see her family fall apart. Michael realizes he isn't the only one who is having a hard time dealing with the death of his parents. Sydney and Shelby are both grieving in their own way. Sydney steps forward and looks at both of her
siblings before speaking again.
“We wait one more day. If he’s not here by tomorrow night, we leave.
Michael looks down at the floor. The possibility of Matthew being dead becomes more plausible to him now. After all this time waiting, his sisters have finally given up. Michael doesn’t expect Matthew to show up within the next 24 hours, but he is still optimistic about the possibility. Michael walks out the kitchen, past Sydney, and goes upstairs. Sydney looks at her sister, but Shelby just sits at the table and says nothing. There seems to be no purpose to living for the three of them. There seems to be no purpose in this new world.
Sydney turns around and leaves the kitchen. Shelby remains alone, sitting at the table. After a moment, Shelby begins to cry to herself as she sits. There is truly no hope for the three of them anymore.
Sydney walks upstairs and into Michael's bedroom. Michael is sitting on his bed, looking at the floor. There is a tense pause in the room. Sydney empathizes with her brother. She feels the same loneliness, but she doesn't want to give up hope. Michael can't stop thinking about his parents. It doesn't feel real to him that they are gone. He doesn't want to believe Matthew is as well.
“Do you think he’s dead?” Michael asks.
Sydney steps forward, “No, I don't.”
“Then why do you want to leave?”
“I don't know.” Sydney says.
Michael looks up at his sister. He doesn't understand why things are the way they are. He
realizes Sydney doesn't either. Sydney walks into Michael's bedroom and walks over to her brother. Sydney stands in front of Michael and opens her arms. Michael looks up, seeing her sister trying to give him a hug. Michael stands up and hugs his sister. Michael becomes emotional.
“How did this happen? Everything was okay, and it all just-”
Michael begins crying. Sydney wants to cry to, but she knows she must be strong and be there for her brother. Michael steps back after the hug and sits back down on his bed. Sydney looks down at her brother. She understands the pain he is going through. She herself feels some guilt as well for what has happened to her family, but she knows there is no way to go back and fix it. Michael lays down on his bed and turns to face the wall. He clearly wants to be left alone and sleep through the night.
“Everything is going to be okay, Michael.” Sydney says.
Michael doesn’t respond. After a moment, Sydney decides to leave Michael's room and go to her own room. It's not going to be easy to try and sleep, but there is nothing else for her to do. Sydney goes into her bedroom and gets into bed. Sydney looks up at the ceiling. She can't stop thinking about her parents.
The sun rises, and the sound of birds chirping makes Michael feel slight comfort as he opens his eyes. Michael rolls over in his bed and looks out his bedroom window. It’s bright out, meaning it’s a new day. Michael slowly gets out of bed and leaves his room. Michael walks down the stairs to the first floor of the house. Shelby sits in the kitchen, at the kitchen table where she was last night. She slowly raises her head from a slumber as she hears Michael walk into the room and notices his sister at the table. He assumes she had been sleeping there all night. Michael walks over to the cupboard and opens it. He takes out a bag of cereal, and notices that it is almost empty. Shelby watches her brother, and neither of them say anything.
“I don't really think he’s dead, you know? But I don't know if he’s still coming for us.” Shelby explains.
“If he’s alive then he’s coming.”
Michael opens another cupboard that's above the stove and takes out a bowl. Michael grabs a spoon from the counter and goes to sit across the table from his sister. Michael pours cereal into the bowl and begins eating. He doesn't want to think about last night, or about his parents anymore. It's terrible to not want to, but it's the only way to not deal with the pain. Michael eats the cereal, not speaking to his sister. Shelby watches her brother eat. She is feeling hungry herself, but she doesn't feel like she deserves to eat from Michaels food. She knows how close Michael and Matthew are, so she feels bad for suggesting that he may very well be dead.
“I’m sorry”
Michael bites down on more cereal, “For what?”
“For yelling at you last night.”
Michael doesn’t respond. He continues eating and minding his own business. Shelby still feels bad and knows she clearly struck a nerve in her brother. Michael finishes his bowl of cereal. He picks up the bag and throws it across the table. Shelby is caught off guard by this and becomes a little frightened. Michael stands up and walks back upstairs. Shelby doesn't know what she could do next.
Michael walks back into his room and gets changed into jeans and a t-shirt. Michael puts on his belt and attaches a walkie talkie to it. He crouches down next to his bed and pulls something out from under the bed. A long gun case slides across the wooden floor, making a loud scraping sound. Michael opens the case and reveals a hunting rifle. This rifle was his father's. His Dad used to hunt before the end of the world. Michael keeps it in his room not just to be safe, but to remember his Dad. Michael pulls the rifle out from the case and slings it over his shoulder. Michael stands up and picks up his sling bag. It is clear he is about to leave the house. Michael takes a breath before leaving his room. This isn't the first time Michael has gone out of the house, but every time he does, it makes him feel terrified of the new world. Michael pulls himself together and walks out of his bedroom. As he does, he is stopped by Sydney.
“Hey, where are you going?” Sydney asks.
“I’m gonna go look for food.”
Sydney steps back, “Oh. Well, let me come with you.”
Michael walks past his sister and toward the staircase, “No. I’ll radio you in if anything goes wrong.”
Sydney doesn't respond, but she follows Michael down stairs. The two walk down stairs and Michael walks toward the front door of the house. Michael walks up to a long couch that’s rammed up against the front door, presumably to prevent anyone from getting inside. As Michael moves the couch, Shelby walks out from the kitchen, curious, and watches Michael. Sydney looks at Shelby but doesn't say anything. No one wants to speak after what had happened last night. Michael moves the couch out of the way and gets ready to leave. Sydney steps forward for a moment.
“Be careful.” Sydney says.
Michael doesn't respond and just opens the front door. Just like that, Michael is gone. Sydney stares at the closed door to the house for a moment before turning around and confronting her sister. She thinks about her brother, and eventually turns around, not pleased.
“Matthew’s gonna make it here. He has too.”
The two sisters stare at each other. Shelby breaks eye contact and walks back into the kitchen. Sydney feels optimistic about the future. She knows everything will work out for her and her family.
Michael walks down the abandoned streets of his neighborhood. All he hears as he walks is the strong winds and chirping of birds. Michael always remembered how loud the birds in his neighborhood used to be before. He had always used to complain about it to his parents. He never understood why they always decided to build their nests near his house. He begins to remember one time where the birds built a nest in the chimney, and one of the birds ended up coming through the fire place. It was set loose in their house. When it happened, he remembers being scared of the bird. But now, he feels like he wouldn't. Birds aren't something to fear, especially in a world like this. Michael misses those days where he could just sit on the couch and play video games with Matthew. Now, he’s responsible for keeping his family alive, at least what's left of it. Michael thinks about his sisters, and how he lied to them just now. He’s not actually out here to find food, although he would take it if he found it. Michael is really out here to find something.
Michael continues to walk down the street of his neighborhood until he reaches a main road. Michael steps out onto the main road and looks around. There is a highway bridge just two blocks away to his left, and to his ri
ght is a strip of stores and restaurants. Michael goes right. As he’s walking, he begins to think about all the times him and his family would come here and eat at some of the restaurants. He looks at the abandoned buildings now and feels empty. He realizes all those happy times spent are gone. His parents are gone, and whatever comes next can never be like that. Michael walks past a toy store he came to once with his Mom. He remembers when he was only 7 years old, and his Mom brought him there to buy him a toy. There was this one toy at the time; it was a large Godzilla figurine. But it wasn't a toy per say, it was more of a collector’s item. The figure was much more expensive than his Mom wanted to spend, so she told him ‘no’. Michael remembers being angry with his Mom for not buying the toy. He remembers how poorly he acted toward her for not buying it that day. Michael realizes how pathetic he was. He never appreciated his Mother as much as he does now, but now she’s dead. Michael wishes things could go back to those days, not because they were better, but because he wishes he acted differently. Michael really begins to feel the same pain he felt last night. He continues walking down the road.
Michael reaches the end of the strip of stores and restaurants. He looks at the last restaurant; it’s some old Italian place which was owned by an older couple. He remembers how delicious the food was, but that's not why he's here. Michael walks up to the restaurant and goes inside. It's dark and dirty. There are cobwebs everywhere, and the floor is covered in dirt. It’s hard to see at first, but there's enough natural light illuminating the room for his eyes to adjust. Michael walks in slowly as he is cautious of any infected. After a while of listening, Michael concludes there are no dangers in here. Michael walks past all the tables and walks over to the bar. Above the bar, right below the ceiling are a line of pictures of people’s families. Michael always remember the owners and how they liked to frame their most frequent customers. Right in the center is a photo of Michael and his family. That is why Michael came here; he came for the picture. He needs to see it more than ever. He needs a reminder of what life used to be. Michael climbs up onto a stool and takes the picture down. Michael gets down from the stool, walks over to a table and sits.
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