Louder Than Love

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Louder Than Love Page 23

by Topper, Jessica


  “Hellooo!” Karen ambled up, huge salad bowl in her hands. Mitch, with a swim diaper–clad Jasper wiggling in his arms, managed to shake hands with Adrian as I made the last of the introductions.

  “Come on, ladies. I’m gonna put you to work.” Marissa tilted her head toward the house.

  “I’ll keep Rob company out here,” Adrian said, accepting the beer Rob offered with thanks.

  “Eeek, Tree, he is so adorable,” Marissa said as soon as we were in the kitchen door and out of earshot. “Cuter than I remember!” She began to pull fruit from all corners of the kitchen. “Le, grab that big bowl over there for fruit salad. Seriously, girl, he’s a keeper.”

  “Thanks.” I winced as Leanna whacked a pineapple in half. She had all of the fury and none of the humor that John Belushi conveyed in his TV role as a Samurai chef.

  “Someone needs to get on building that cloning machine,” Liz murmured.

  “I could close my eyes,” Karen said with a sigh, “and listen to that accent forever.”

  Leanna hacked into the poor kiwis next. “My next husband is going to be sweet like that.” She ticked off a few other qualities, as if she were talking about the next car model she was going to buy.

  “Leanna!”

  “I wish Ed would develop a prostitute fetish or gamble our life savings away . . . something to give me a clear sign,” she joked sardonically, pausing her fruit genocide to take a long haul of her drink.

  “Bite your tongue!” I wanted nothing more than happiness for her, but wished she would take charge like the Leanna of old. “And hand over that knife. You’re making me nervous.”

  ***

  “Think we can get the kids to clean up?” Marissa leaned back with a glass of wine. We were lounging around in a post-glut state watching the little ones chase Lickety, Split, and the Frisbee the dogs had gleefully absconded with. Every now and again, a child would whiz by the table for a bite of a ketchup-smeared hot dog or a sip of lemonade before taking off again.

  “You sit, chicky. We’ll do it.” Liz, even buzzing on several beers, could swiftly and expertly bus a table. Adrian and I gathered the mountain of empties and took them around the side of the house to the recycling bin.

  “How am I doing?” Adrian kissed me behind the lilac tree.

  “You haven’t run screaming from the premises, so I’d say you’re doing great.”

  “Go on. Your friends are nice.”

  I hooked my thumbs through the loops on his cargo shorts and pulled him close.

  “Get a hotel room, you two.” Liz had popped around the corner. “Smoke time?” She grinned sheepishly.

  “Are you enabling her, Adrian?” I scolded. Liz was the type of ex-smoker who fell off the wagon at the prospect of having a drink in her hand and a butt in the other. Yet she hated the smell of cigarettes, so she would wash her hands with OCD frequency and chew wads of gum guiltily afterward. Why she tortured herself was beyond me.

  “Apparently. Looks like I’ve created a monster.” Adrian kissed me on the cheek as he fished out a fresh pack of Marlboros from a pocket. Liz grinned, guilty as charged.

  I brought the last of the dishes inside. Marissa was stashing the leftovers in the fridge between gulps of wine. “Sarah started a movie for the kids upstairs. You guys are going to stay awhile, right? I sent Robbie down to the beach to get a bonfire going.” She saw me sneak a glance at the clock. “You’re not thinking of taking him back to the train tonight, are you? Abbey can sleep here, you know that.”

  “I know. Thanks. We’ll see.”

  “Come on, you’ll have to get over the flatulence and morning breath thing eventually, just bite the bullet!”

  “Funny, Mariss. I just don’t know if Abbey is ready.” I thought about Abbey’s early morning tear-in-and-leap and whether I wanted to subject Adrian to that yet. “Or if he is, for that matter.”

  “For Christ’s sake, we could make it one big pajama party so everyone sleeps over and no one feels funny. He’s great, Tree. Really. I love how he took your hand at the table after dinner. And how cute was that when he started playing soccer with the kids?” We took a new bottle of wine out onto the deck. “Think we seem like dumb boring Americans to him?”

  “Oh, come on. He was psyched to come and meet everyone. I’m always talking about you guys.”

  “Check that out.” She nodded toward the far corner of the yard, where Adrian, Liz, and Mitch were all puffing away, laughing and talking.

  “Mr. Health Nut, sneaking a smoke while his wife is inside changing diapers?”

  “Yeah, let’s go bust his balls.”

  We strolled across the lawn. Liz was folding a piece of gum into her mouth and giggling.

  “H&H blows.”

  “You’re on, Big Red,” Mitch said, crushing the cigarette under his Tevas. “We’ll have a bagel challenge.”

  Liz gave a sloppy laugh. “He keeps calling me Big Red,” she told us. “Isn’t that funny? You know, because I’m chewing Big Red. And I have red hair.” Liz was rather tall and somewhat big-boned, but not overweight. She enjoyed her bagels and beer, and would never have a yoga and tofu-toned body like Karen.

  I could tell Marissa took offense. She has no problem calling herself big, or calling her friends out when it comes to looks, but heaven help the outsider who comments on them. “Is that not hilarious, Tree?”

  “Hmm. Indeed. Since when do you smoke, Mitch?”

  “And he’s gonna eat some carbs,” Liz said in mock horror. “Adrian’s my witness, right?”

  “What will we learn next? That you were piloting the Exxon Valdez?”

  Mitch smirked. “I’m not the choirboy you think I am, Mariss.”

  His wife was waving from the deck, no Jasper to be seen. Karen was pretty in a sharp way. Her face, rounded in pregnancy when I met her, had resumed a more angular shape after giving birth. Her cheekbones glowed under the dim light of the colored lanterns hanging overhead.

  “Better give him some sugar, Big Red. Karen’s gonna smell him from a yard away. Come on, I need your help inside.” Mitch took the gum Liz offered and then let his eyes linger a bit too long on her backside as she followed Marissa back to the house.

  “Adrian’s been telling me about your bike rides, Tree. We should all go sometime.” He put his arm around Karen as she walked up. “Adrian and Tree have been biking with Abbey at Bear Mountain. Wouldn’t that be great to do, too, honey?”

  “Oh, absolutely. We just got the Chariot Trailer for Jasper.”

  “What’s the farthest distance you’ve ever biked?” Mitch asked Adrian.

  “I did the Five Boro Bike Tour last year with a mate of mine. That was forty miles. It was a bit of a cock-up with thirty thousand other cyclists, but it was fun.”

  “Wow, forty miles. And you smoke?” Mitch was incredulous.

  “Cut down from three packs a day when I started riding,” Adrian admitted. “I’m at about a half pack a day . . . less when I’m with Kat and Abbey.” His fingers played with the strap of my dress and he smiled. “Abbey tells me I smell like her Uncle Kev.”

  “What!”

  He laughed at my mortified look. “I’m glad she told me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone around to smell me.”

  “Bonfire time!” Marissa bellowed from the deck. She and Liz led the procession through the side yard and down to the lake. Leanna trailed behind, carrying her bottle of Jack by the neck like a cocky rock star. Karen and Mitch went inside to check on Jasper’s mood with the sitter before following.

  “You know,” I started, reaching for Adrian’s hand as we navigated the sandy path, “Kev actually started smoking because of Digger.” Adrian and I often referred to his stage name in the third person as if, indeed, it was a third person in the room; like a mythical, larger-than-life character. It was Adrian’s turn to look mortified. “I did
n’t mean that as an accusation,” I hastily added. “Just a weird . . . I don’t know. Ironic coincidence?”

  “Well, if I ever meet him, I will apologize.” We walked in silence toward the tiny beacon of light that was Rob’s bonfire. He had set up a spot far from any of the pines or houses.

  “So who is this bloke called Todd? Leanna and Liz were talking about him like he’s the life of the party. When is he coming?”

  I stopped short. “TOD? Oh, no no no. TOD is not a person. TOD is pure evil.” Rob had a raging fire going, and Leanna was spreading out blankets and beach towels around it. There was a cooler of beverages and, sitting on Liz’s lap, the dreaded TOD. “Later, guys. Thanks for the lovely evening.” I grabbed Adrian’s hand. “You are not subjecting him to that. No way.”

  Adrian seemed amused by the amount of cajoling and convincing the girls launched into. “Tree, it’s harmless fun. Come on! It will be a good way to get to know Adrian, and for him to get to know us,” Marissa wheedled.

  “For example,” Leanna said, grabbing the notebook from Liz’s lap, “Adrian, read page twenty-three.”

  Despite my protests, Adrian tilted the battered book toward the light of the fire and followed Leanna’s finger across the page. “‘Marissa to Tree—Truth: Did you spit or swallow with Kurt O’Toole? Tree takes Dare, pees in the kitty litter box.’ What is this?”

  “It’s a game we played in high school. A jacked-up version of Truth or Dare,” I said. “All recorded in the book for posterity.” I had half a mind to grab it from his hands and toss it into the flames.

  “You peed in a cat litter box?”

  “Giving a whole new meaning to the nickname you gave her. Mittens was so pissed at you, Tree.” Marissa and the others dissolved into hysterics.

  “If you don’t answer the question, you have to take the dare, whatever it is,” Marissa explained.

  “Adrian, you don’t have to. It’s silly.” I kicked a bit of sand at my so-called best friends who had promised to behave themselves. “I can’t believe you dug TOD out.”

  “Leanna’s idea.”

  “I don’t mind, Kat.” He pulled me close. “I can handle it.”

  “Oh but wait, it gets better.” Rob passed Adrian a beer. “I upped the stakes and introduced a strip poker element into it a while back. Otherwise, it gets pretty boring, pretty fast.”

  “If you answer the Truth question, the asker has to remove an article of clothing,” Liz explained. “If you take the Dare, you have to not only do the dare, but also let them remove a piece of your clothing.”

  “I hate you all,” I said, shaking my head as Adrian pulled me down next to him and prepared for the first question.

  Marissa was to his left. “I’ll be gentle. Have you ever murdered anyone? No? See, that was easy. Next!” She took off one bangled bracelet with considerable fanfare and gestured for Leanna to record it in the book.

  Liz followed. “What was the first thing that came to your mind when you met Tree?” She blew into her half-empty beer bottle and awaited his answer.

  It didn’t take him long. “That she was stunning . . . and one day I’d possess her heart.”

  The group collectively interjected with a long drawn-out “Awwww!”

  Liz pulled off her shirt to reveal a tank-top underneath. “Leanna, you’re up.”

  I cringed, waiting for some anti-male diatribe. Leanna could be pretty caustic when her heart was in it. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

  Okay, maybe that was worse.

  “Hmmm, no. I don’t.” He took a long swallow of beer. “I believe love involves the commitment of many senses, as well as your head and your heart, so I wouldn’t just rely on my eyesight,” he finished, winking at her. Leanna kicked off a sandal, and the age-old debate ensued as to whether footwear was indeed an article of clothing.

  “What is the dumbest thing you ever did while under the influence?” Rob asked.

  Adrian stared stonily into the fire, as if secrets and answers were contained in the flames. “I burned my daughter’s oatmeal,” he finally replied. “Burned . . . her oatmeal.” Slowly and quietly, as if he could still hardly believe it.

  The chatter around the fire died down. Karen gave a nervous giggle. Liz stifled a burp, and Mitch cleared his throat. Marissa raised her brows, and Leanna rested her chin in her hand, waiting for more. My hand gripped his knee tightly, imploringly. “Such a simple . . . normal task. I tried so hard . . . I was high . . . nodded out. Almost burned the house down, and I lost custody of her. I’d say that was pretty bloody stupid of me.”

  “Yo man, I had no idea, I’m sorry . . .” Rob started.

  “Don’t be. It was the catalyst for cleaning up my life, so . . . no worries.”

  Rob unbuttoned his Hawaiian shirt and apologized once more. This time, for the man-boobs he was about to reveal.

  Mitch lightened the mood considerably. “So, Adrian . . . have you ever been with more than one woman in bed at the same time?”

  “Mitchell!”

  “Relax, Kar . . . it’s Truth or Dare!”

  “Yes, Mitch, I have,” Adrian answered simply.

  “Really? How many?”

  “Hey, only one question during your turn, mister,” Marissa said. Mitch grinned and dropped his shorts to reveal his boxers. Karen’s embarrassment was quickly turning to disgust. “Your turn, Karen.”

  Karen turned to Adrian, shyness in her voice. “If you could choose anyone, living or dead, to meet and have lunch with, who would you choose and why?”

  Marissa added, “And it can’t be a cop-out answer like Ghandi, Marilyn Monroe, or Hitler, okay?”

  Adrian smiled thoughtfully. “Dare.”

  “Seriously? You can talk about doing drugs and banging multiple chicks and you can’t answer that?” Leanna teased. “Karen, think of a good dare for him, and Adrian—you have to let Karen take a piece of your clothing off of you.”

  Karen was doubly mortified now, but giggled when Adrian held up one foot. She pulled off his sneaker. “I dare you to . . . run down to the lake and scream the chorus to Maxwell MacGillikitty at the top of your lungs.” Our laughter was drowned out as he belted out Karen’s request. A faraway canine howled back in reply.

  “And that ends your turn. Tree, you got off easy, you didn’t have to ask your man any questions,” Marissa said.

  “Maybe he planned it that way,” I joked, giving him a kiss. “So sorry,” I murmured into his mouth. “That was idiotic.”

  “I’ve been through worse,” he whispered back, pulling me onto his lap. People were losing interest in the game, once the fresh meat was done.

  “I think I’d better get Jasper to bed.” Karen wiped sand off her capri pants and offered a hand to help her husband up from the sand. Mitch, beer bottle to his lips, waved his free hand and said, “I’m going to stay for a while. You can take the car. It’s close enough for me to walk home.” Karen gave him a long look. “Or stumble home,” he added, and Rob gave a laugh.

  “I’ll walk you up, Kar.” Marissa made sure to kick some sand in Rob and Mitch’s direction as she hoisted herself up.

  “So . . .” It was Rob’s turn to grill Liz. “Who do you achieve the bigger O with? Men or women?” Liz had taken the bisexual route for a while, common knowledge to most of us. Mitch spilled half of his Sierra Nevada in the sand in his effort to scurry closer for her answer.

  “Don’t give these pervs the satisfaction, Liz.” Leanna alternated pouring Jack and Coke into the plastic cup expertly balanced between her denim-clad knees.

  “This is turning ugly,” I said with a giggle. “We’re going for a walk.”

  Adrian grabbed another beer from the cooler. “Kat?”

  Leanna held up her Jack and Coke to me as an alternative. “Take this, I don’t want to look at it or smell it.” I took it off her hands, and she
promptly plopped backward on the sand. “Holy crow, the beach is spinning.”

  Adrian took my hand, and we walked to the water’s edge. There was no wind and barely a ripple as we looked out across the lake. “Where are we in relation to your house?”

  Turning my back on the lake to get my bearings, I pointed left. “There’re our pines.” He nuzzled my neck but didn’t say anything more. “They’re not usually this . . . immature. Or wasted.”

  “They’re funny. I like them.” There was a shriek from behind us. Liz, Mitch, and Rob were all stripped to their undies and racing down to the water. Marissa had brought the dogs back with her, and they were streaking across the beach in pursuit.

  “I can’t believe Karen got you on that question.”

  Adrian touched the sand behind us to make sure it was dry and pulled me down next to him. “I know this is going to sound strange . . . but my answer is Peter.” It took me a moment to digest his confession. “I would’ve liked to have met him . . . to hear about you and what you were like back then.”

  I was blown away. His statement overwhelmed me with its genuine desire and painful impossibility. Words escaped from my lips. “I love you.”

  Suddenly, I heard every sound of the night around us. Spring peepers like little bells in the grass, the fire popping as it died out behind us, the panting of the dogs as they ran another lap, and the inebriated splashes down the beach. I heard everything but a response from Adrian, who was silently nursing his beer. I forced myself to down Leanna’s strongly prepared drink in a smarting act of self-chastisement. What the hell was I thinking? Opening myself up like a fucking Hallmark card?

  “Here, have another.” Leanna had gained a second wind and a fresh happy drink. She generously poured half her glass into mine before stumbling down toward Marissa, who was trying to coax the trio of water babies back to dry land. I watched as my two girlfriends hugged, and I longed for the safety and familiarity of that huddle. I hadn’t felt this raw, this exposed, since moving back. I allowed more Jack to wash over me like a tsunami.

 

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