At her words, the fear dropped from his heart into his gut and he paused for a moment to make sure Brekka couldn’t read any of that fear when he faced her before turning and going back into her room.
He sat on the bed beside her and gently rubbed her arm and spoke to her until at length; she opened her cloudy blue eyes and looked up at him. Her gaze was sweet even if it was far too sickly and he did his best to smile back at her. “Heidi said you wanted me to wake you. Do you need something? Do you want another blessing?”
She barely shook her head and her voice was so soft it was almost a whisper, “No, the last one is still working fine. But thank you.” She paused for a mere second and then said, “I just want to know if you decided against marrying me.”
Her tired eyes bored into his sad ones and he slowly shook his head and then caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Of course not, Brekka. I want more than anything to marry you. I just wish I could be sure that is in your best interest. If we marry, it will be a real marriage. I just don’t want you to ever regret me. When you’re better and back to being yourself.”
The gaze that met his was absolutely steady in spite of her obvious exhaustion. Finally, all she said so softly was, “Hurry, Lije. Pray about it and be sure and then hurry.”
Her use of the word hurry was like a knife to his heart. He closed his eyes briefly to try to hide the grief and then opened them and looked back into hers. She was sure. So was he. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll go find my father.”
They were married on September 10th in her bedroom with Lars and Josh as witnesses, all of them in their riding clothes and it was all Brekka could do to sit up with Heidi helping her. Afterward, the rest of them cleared out, including Heidi, and Lije gently gathered Brekka back into his arms and sat with her one more time in the chair under the window with the blanket wrapped snuggly around her.
The anxiousness she had been feeling earlier seemed to be gone, but Lije carried a soul deep sadness in its place. He’d always hoped to someday marry, and it was definitely Brekka he was in love with, but he’d never dreamed he’d hope and pray his bride lived through her wedding night.
Doc Newell came in toward evening and checked her and then didn’t even say anything as he looked sadly at Lije and shook his head. He solemnly packed up his black bag, and left. As he went out the door, he kindly didn’t look up to notice the moisture in Lije’s eyes as he carefully laid Brekka back on the bed and pulled the blankets up around her again and whispered, “Stay with me, Brekka. Stay with me. At least for a little while longer.”
He tried to get her to eat something late, but she wouldn’t wake and he sat long over his own dinner. Finally, he put on a comfortable pair of pajama bottoms that he usually only wore in winter and went back into her room. They were indeed married, but the only thing it changed was that he no longer need worry about appearances. At least he could comfort her dreams without dragging her out of bed anymore. He climbed in beside her, scooted close, put one gentle arm over her and whispered again, “Stay with me, Brekka.” She must have understood him on some level, because she turned her face to his shoulder.
For some reason, that first night with him right beside her, she didn’t have a single bad dream and he woke in the morning still heart broken over how ill she was, but more rested than he’d been in weeks. It had been since before he and Lars had left to go after the herd of sheep nearly a month earlier since he’d actually slept through the night. He turned over and looked at her beautiful, but frighteningly pale face there on the pillow beside him and hoped uninterrupted sleep would help her to be able to survive this illness.
He gently touched her cheek with the tip of one finger so he didn’t wake her and then carefully slid out of the covers, knelt beside the bed to pray and then went back into the other bedroom to dress so he wouldn’t disturb her.
He ate and was just buckling on his chaps when there came a knock on his front door. Going to answer it, he was surprised to find Heidi standing on his porch carrying a napkin covered basket. He opened it wide for her to enter and asked, “What are you doing knocking and standing on the porch, you little loco weed?”
She grinned up at him. “Well, you’re married now, you know. Da made me promise to knock. This isn’t just my dumb ol’ brother Lije’s house anymore. I’d hate to impose.”
He laughed in spite of how worried he was. “Oh, I see. ‘Cause Brekka is sure up to worrying about you imposing. Da is loco as well. What’s in the basket?”
The grin faded out of her face. “Cinnamon rolls. I was thinking maybe I could tempt her into eating a bit better. How is she this morning?”
Lije sighed. “She hasn’t woken once since you left the last time. But anything is worth a try.”
His little sister’s enthusiasm was completely non-existent as she said gently, “I’m sorry, Lije. How are the nightmares? Are they worse as well?”
He shook his head. “She didn’t have one all night. Either me being right there beside her made her feel more secure, or else she’s too sick to even dream.”
She wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked toward the door. “I’m sure it was you being there, Lije. It has to be reassuring to have a big, handsome lout right in your bed with you. Keep the faith. Someday she’s going to come out of this. Then the two of you will live happily ever after. Here, take a sweet roll with you. I brought six, and she certainly won’t eat that many. I’ll stay here with her this morning while you work.”
“Thanks, Heidi. I’ll be within hollering distance. Call me if anything changes.” Heidi looked up into his eyes and they both knew he was worried she’d die when he wasn’t around.
Heidi pushed him out the door. “I’ll call. And we’ll both pray. She’s gonna be fine.”
He stepped out onto the porch and looked around the ranch in the clear light of morning and said under his breath, “I hope you’re right, Heidi.”
Word of their marriage didn’t get out for a few days, which surprised Lije because he’d thought his father would have let it be known to ease the gossip. When it did finally get out, it spread like wildfire and Heidi was suddenly inundated with information seeking visitors as she worked around Lije’s house watching over Brekka while Lije worked. It didn’t take much to watch over her. She was nearly comatose most of the time and had only truly woken up a handful of times since the night of their marriage. The one good thing was that since their marriage Brekka had only had a nightmare two times.
The women of the town weren’t very happy to learn that Lije and Brekka were married, that much was apparent, but they were nothing compared to the ruckus Luther made when he got the news. Very first thing, he came roaring out to Lije’s ranch in a hired buggy and fairly forced his way inside the house and then even into Brekka’s room before Heidi was able to summon Lije from the shop west of the barn.
Lije strode into the house and was completely disgusted to find Luther trying to wake Brekka. Instantly angry, Lije grabbed him by the arm and literally dragged him from the room, almost threw him onto the settee in the parlor and all but roared, “What do you think you’re doing? This is our home! She’s sicker than a dog and you barge in like a fool to wake her? What’s the matter with you? Do they not teach common courtesy where you grew up?”
Although he was intimidated, Luther didn’t immediately back down and instead snarled back, “Where I come from there are far more manners taught than here, I can assure you. And we certainly don’t take advantage of a poor defenseless girl and force her into a repulsive marriage where she can’t even protect herself! If this rumor is true and you’ve gone and married her, I’ll have you arrested and horsewhipped! I don’t care if it has been consummated!”
Lije’s anger turned to fury. “Consummated! She’s deathly ill!” Lije’s fist connected viciously with Luther’s jaw. “You’re a shame to the whole male race, you . . .” Lije went to hit him again and then spun when he heard Brekka call his name.
She was standing in the doorway of the bedroom in her nightgown, clinging to the jamb and literally wavering on her feet and he rushed across to keep her from falling. He went to pick her up, but she shook her head. “No. In a moment.” She turned to speak to Luther but collapsed before she was able to get a word out and Lije wanted to swear as he caught her and carefully lifted her to take her back to her bed.
Just as she swooned, Lars came flying in the front door and took in the situation at a glance, then two more hands came in as well. Looking across the parlor at Luther where he held his jaw, Lije growled, “Get out! Get out and don’t come back!” To Lars, Lije said, “Escort him to the bottom of the valley and then have one of the hands stand guard there with a rifle. He doesn’t step foot in the valley again.” He glared at Luther one more time and then went into the bedroom and kicked the door closed behind them.
Carrying Brekka back to the bed, Lije set her down gently and smoothed her hair back from her face as he began to apologize, “I’m so sorry, Brekka. I never dreamed he’d burst right into your bedroom. Forgive me for not being more vigilant. Are you okay?”
She barely shook her head. “No. In truth, I’m not. I’m sorry as well. I’m trying to be okay. Please forgive me for Luther.”
Sitting on the bed beside her, he cupped her cheek with his palm. “You are not to be blamed for his shameful behavior. I can’t imagine why he won’t accept that you won’t be with him and move on.”
Giving him a sad smile, she said, “I’m sure that has something to do with how wealthy my father is. It isn’t me; it’s what I’ll inherit. My father has no sons.”
At that, Lije raised his eyebrows. He knew she had to have been well to do, but this was a new and not so pleasant angle of the situation. Hesitantly Lije asked, “Uh, what are you saying, Brek. Just what kind of money are you going to be inheriting?”
She met his eyes for a long moment and then said simply, “A lot, Lije. And properties. And titles.”
Still looking at her, at length Lije said somewhat sarcastically, “Splendid. And here I thought he was just drowning in love for you, like me. Was there a reason you didn’t mention this wealth before we were married?”
“No. Is there a reason I should have?”
He considered that and then said softly, “No, Brekka. I love you wealthy or not. I’m sorry that surprised me. At any rate, Luther won’t be back here. I’ll see to it.” More gently, he added, “While you’re awake, do you want something to eat?”
She went to shake her head and then stopped. “Yes, I’ll try.” Then she looked down. “Mostly, I’d just like to have you hold me in the chair again and talk to me. Do you have to go right back out?”
“No, of course not. Let me just get you something to eat and I’ll be right back.” He rose and was heading for the door when Heidi knocked and then opened it and came in carrying a bowl and a spoon.
Cheerfully, she asked, “Does chicken and dumplings sound good at all, Brekka? My but it was good to see you up, girl! Best sight I’ve seen all month! Here, take this Lije, and I’ll bring her some water.”
She breezed back out and Lije set the bowl down on the bedside table and then reached for Brekka and sat down in the chair. Settling her comfortably, he said, “I’m sorry about Luther, but it was indeed wonderful to see you about. Feeling any better?” He touched her forehead with the back of his hand and then picked up the spoon and when she didn’t answer him, began to feed her.
Heidi brought the water and Lije told her, “Heidi, I’ll stay with her the rest of the afternoon. Go ahead and do some of the things you need to do. Thank you so much for being here for her.
Heidi leaned to hug her brother around the shoulders and then bent and gave Brekka a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “You’re so welcome, you two. I hope you have a better afternoon, Brekka.”
With that, she skipped back out and Brekka smiled and sighed and said, “Your mother should have named her Sunshine, instead of Heidi. She is a treasure. Does she ever cloud up at all?”
“Not very often. Usually it’s only at the couple of mean girls in town. Then she can get a trifle feisty.” He fed Brekka another bite. “She loves you. She has from that very first day she came flying in here and woke you.”
Brekka swallowed and said tiredly, “And I love her. Is your father any happier with us? Since we married?”
“In truth, I don’t know what he is at us. Sometimes I wonder if he feels guilty for pressuring us, but we haven’t spoken about it. At any rate, it wasn’t you he was unhappy with. It was me.”
She looked up at him with tired, cloudy eyes. “We are one now, Lije. If he is unhappy with you, it is the same with me.”
Still feeding her, he said, “I hope you don’t grow to regret our marriage, Brekka.”
She shook her head carefully. “Never. I just regret that I’m an inadequate wife right now.”
He leaned his head against her gently. “There is no room for that with us, Brek. I’m just grateful that you’re here. So grateful that you’re here.”
The sheriff actually did show up two days later, looking positively embarrassed. He walked into the house when Heidi opened the door and said, “I’m so sorry, Sister Lauritzen. I know this is ridiculous, but I have to at least make a pretense of coming or that Luther is going to live in the Sheriff’s office. Is Lije’s new wife well enough to speak to me so I can go back to town and get on with my work?”
“I’m sorry, Brother Olson, but no. She’s gravely ill. She hasn’t woken but once since they wed. You’re welcome to glance in at her and I’m sure Dr. Newell could tell you how she is. Could I answer your questions?”
“I don’t really have any questions. This durn Luther just keeps insisting that Lije is basically keeping her here against her will and that he forced her to marry him. That he’s using her for some twisted Mormon ritual. Now, I’ve known Lije for nigh twenty years and I know better, but if I didn’t come, I’d never get any peace. Stupid man never did stop to consider that I’m a Mormon as well and would know if there was such a thing as this ritual he was yammering about. What’s that I smell?”
“I’ve just taken bread from the oven. Do you have time for a piece before looking in on her?”
“By Jiminy, I’ll say I do. Since Miriam’s passing good bread is in short supply at my house. In your opinion, Heidi, she did marry him because she wanted to, didn’t she?”
Heidi laughed as she put a thick slice of buttered bread in front of the sheriff. “They married because they love each other dearly, Brother Olson. I know they haven’t known each other long, but they’ve been through a lot together and you can see it in their eyes. Lije adores the ground she walks on and although she’s on her death bed, she’s the same I think. And anyway, I think it was her idea. I think she believed she was dying and wanted to make sure she was married to him before she goes.”
“She’s that ill then?”
Heidi sighed. “Yes, I regret to say. She’s that ill.”
White Stone sat his pony in the shadow of a juniper high on the hill above the town of Rock Creek. He’d nearly died of the bad medicine when he’d first taken the shining woman, but his medicine had proven stronger and over the two moons he’d been regaining his strength, she had become an obsession with him.
He’d been looking, but had yet to see any sign of her. For some time he’d believed her either dead or gone back to whatever country it was that she’d come from, but twice lately he’d heard whisperings that she was still here in his hunting grounds somewhere.
Looking down at the town one last time, he turned his pony away. The shining girl wasn’t down there. He’d been here on this hill for two full days. He would go back to the Paiute youth who had taunted him about her and make him speak more clearly about her whereabouts. If she was truly here, he could make the young brave reveal it.
Coming in from the south pasture, Lije stopped on the porch and took off his dripping slicker before he pushed open the door and ste
pped inside his home. For some reason, the rain made him miss Brekka even though she was just in there in the other room. They’d been married for close to two weeks and although Lije was unbelievably grateful that she hadn’t died, in truth, he was surprised. He had no idea how she was staying alive as little as she had been eating and drinking and some days she never even woke up at all.
Inside, he hung up his hat, tossed his soaked gloves and stopped to unlace his boots and take them off as well. Heidi appeared in the kitchen doorway and when Lije looked up at her, he hated to admit the toll Brekka’s illness was having even on her. Heidi was tired and drawn and her usual sunshine had toned down to the occasional sparkle.
Lije walked across the room toward her and pulled her into a hug and neither one of them said anything. They both knew they were nearing the end. Brekka was an amazingly strong woman, but even the strongest of humans had to admit defeat ultimately. Dr. Newell himself had all but given up and came only on a token visit.
Heidi started to cry in his arms and he pulled back and said tiredly, “Don’t cry, you little loco weed. I’ll cry with you and we’ll drown.” She laughed in spite of her tears and he pulled away and said, “It’s really coming down, but it’s going to get worse. The sky is ugly out there. Joshua is heading up to the bunkhouse for supper. He said he’d run you up in the buggy so you don’t get soaked.”
She sniffled. “Oh, Lije, darn you. I don’t want Josh to see me sad and half bawling. Why didn’t you send someone else?”
He gave her a sad smile. “He volunteered, my little wild flower. And you and I both know he adores you no matter how you look. Who knows? Maybe bawling on him will be what it takes to finally get him to kiss you.”
Into the Wind_A Love Story Page 11