Ian went to the den to find his father, but he was napping. He tried to come up with something else to do so he wouldn’t encroach on their girl time, but he wanted to be in the same room as Lexi. He wandered back to the kitchen quietly to see if it was safe.
“. . . not the same thing,” his mother said.
“But maybe if you gave her a chance she would come around,” Lexi said. Was she defending Meeghan? He stopped in the hallway to listen. He was becoming a serial eavesdropper lately.
“She stole my grandchild!”
“It was a stupid way to try to connect with the family, but I don’t think she meant any harm,” Lexi said.
“She doesn’t fit in with us.”
“I know I was bewildered by this family when I first started dating Ian.” Lexi laughed, making him smile. God, he loved to hear her laugh.
“There’s a difference between being bewildered and being downright rude. Do you know, she didn’t even say good-bye to any of us after the viewing? She just went to the car and waited for Ian to drive her home like she was some kind of princess.” His mother tapped the spoon on the side of the pot. “She’s no princess, let me tell you. The boy is miserable. He was never miserable when he was with you.”
“Trust me, I made him plenty miserable. So miserable he left, remember?” Lexi said sadly. He fought the urge to rush in there and hold her until she didn’t sound sad anymore.
“It wasn’t you, sweetheart. It was him.”
“No. It was me. I turned into a crazy person, and before I knew it, I scared him away.”
“I still think it’s not right that teenage girls get pregnant and struggle to take care of their children and the two of you tried so hard and couldn’t conceive. There’s just something wrong about that.”
“Life is unfair.”
“You could have adopted,” his mother suggested. His heart seized in his chest. He was the one who had been resistant to adoption. Every time she’d mentioned it, he’d suggested they try again. He had been under some delusion that they had to have their own child. He’d selfishly wanted the experience of seeing her grow round with his child. It seemed so stupid now.
“It didn’t work out,” Lexi said, covering for him. “Maybe things will be better for Meeghan. She’s young; they have plenty of time to try.” The sadness in her voice nearly brought him to his knees.
How could she sound so encouraging about him having a baby with another woman? He sighed, knowing the answer.
She was a wonderful person.
She would do anything for anyone.
Ian left the house silently. He was undeserving to sit at a table with her.
Ian had left without a word, and Lexi couldn’t help but feel guilty about his departure.
“Did he tell you he needed to go?” Elise Montgomery asked her husband as he sat down at the table.
“I don’t know. I must have dozed off. He might have said something.”
“Well, I’m sure it must have been some kind of emergency.”
Yes. The thought of sitting at a table with his ex-wife probably had his throat closing. She shook it off and sat up a little straighter. It was his loss. Dinner is amazing, and he’s not going to get any. Ha.
She wished she would have been able to get some pleasure out of knowing she’d scared him off, but she couldn’t.
“Maybe he needed to pack. Aren’t you two going to the cabin this weekend?” Tom Montgomery asked, finally getting into the earlier conversation.
“Yes. I’m heading up tomorrow when I get out of work.”
“Maybe we should give you an extra key in case he doesn’t show.” Tom got up and went to the den. He came back and handed her a key. “Do you remember how to get there?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Last time I was up there, I got cell service. So if he doesn’t show and you need anything, give me a call.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
After the amazing dinner, they had a mouthwatering dessert, and then she went home to her big empty house with way too many leftovers. Especially considering she would be going away for the weekend.
A weekend with Ian, who couldn’t even eat dinner with her.
Thursday morning she went to work, trying to forget about her weekend plans. She focused intently on the futures of the student body whose last names started with A through L. When Roslyn came in her office at the end of the day, Lexi told her what had happened at dinner the night before.
“I’m not an expert in these things, but I think that means he likes you,” Roz said.
“Since when does running away and not speaking to a girl mean a guy likes her?” Lexi laughed.
“Um, since about fifth grade.”
“He doesn’t like me. He divorced me.”
“He hugged you.”
“I was crying, Roz. If a guy doesn’t hug a crying woman in the State of Virginia, he can be hanged. It’s still on the books,” she joked, causing Roslyn to laugh.
“So then he likes to hug you more than death,” Roslyn said.
“Well, there is that. We’re practically reconciled.” They laughed together as Lexi looked at the clock. “I need to go.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“I’m going to go home and read a letter from my deceased uncle. Then I’m going to pack for a weekend with a man who may or may not like me only slightly more than being hanged, and his helium-voiced, younger girlfriend. So I’m going to have to say no. No, I don’t think I’m okay.”
“The guidance counselor in me wants to offer some wise advice, but I have to say I can’t come up with a damn thing.”
“I appreciate your honesty.” They were actually laughing as Lexi gathered her things and walked out of the school. Something she didn’t think she would be capable of as she headed off to start the world’s worst weekend. But she knew she had friends and family who loved her.
As soon as she walked in the door at home, she went to her room, picked up the envelope from Uncle Jimmy, and opened it. She had tried a couple of times since the lawyer gave it to her but hadn’t been able to do it. Now she had no choice. Jimmy might have told her something about what he wanted her to have at the cabin. She had to read it.
Tears came at just the sight of his scratchy writing. She could barely read the words.
“Bossy much?” she said as she wiped tears from her eyes. She folded the letter and tucked it into the book on her nightstand. A calm came over her as she packed. She was going to spend the weekend at a place that had always made her happy, with a man who’d once loved her. It might not be the ideal situation now, but her heart was filled with memories of a better time, and she would always have that.
She wasn’t surprised when Ian showed up to drive her to the cabin as she was heaving her suitcase out of the house.
After reading Jimmy’s words to her, she’d kind of expected it.
“Can I drive you up to the cabin?” he asked, as if he had been properly scolded.
“Yes. Thank you,” she said, as Jimmy had requested.
He took her bag and put it in the back with his own. He even held the door for her as she got in. She couldn’t help but be grateful Meeghan wasn’t in the car as she watched him climb in and start the SUV.
“I’m sorry if this isn’t how you planned—”
“This is not how I planned anything, Lex. But this is the way we’re going to do it,” he interrupted her apology. “It’s a weekend. I owe Jimmy a hell of a lot more than a weekend.” She nodded in understanding.
It was only a weekend.
How bad could it be?
The cabin was about an hour from Roanoke, in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Lexi had always loved this drive. Feeling the population dropping off, and the trees embracing her like an old friend. Her ears would pop with the change in pressure as they made the elevation.
She would hold Ian’s hand as they chatted or sang along with the radio. She would have a feeling of anticipation, knowing they would be hav
ing tons of sex, starting the minute they walked into the cabin.
It sure wasn’t like that now. She gazed out the window, watching the hazy red buds on the trees flash by. The silence was crushing and they had only been on the road ten minutes.
“So how’s work?” she finally asked to start up a conversation. She couldn’t take the awkward silence anymore.
He glanced over at her before answering.
“It’s been good. I just updated the site for the guy who rents to me, and I’m developing a Web site for the senator.”
“Hmm. I’ve never had the overwhelming urge to visit a senator’s Web site before,” she said, trying desperately to keep him talking.
“As long as he pays me to develop the site, I can’t be responsible for how many hits it gets.” He smiled.
God, she loved his smile, the way it warmed something deep inside her.
“I’ll be sure to take a look.”
“Because I made it?” he asked.
She nodded, feeling kind of stupid.
“You’d do that, wouldn’t you?” he asked.
“Just because you don’t make something tangible doesn’t mean it’s not worth seeing,” she said, like she always had.
He laughed and nodded. The silence returned.
“I’m sorry about dinner last night. You shouldn’t have left,” she said.
“Well, you shouldn’t have felt the need to leave either.”
“Still, they’re your parents.” She pointed out.
“And they love you more than me.”
“That’s not true.”
“I think it is. Besides, I didn’t leave because you were there. I remembered something I had to take care of.”
“You couldn’t even say good-bye?” she asked.
“Apparently, it’s rubbing off,” he said. She twitched at his comment. Had he heard her and his mother discussing Meeghan? Shit.
“I need to apologize to you, Lex,” he blurted out.
“No.” She didn’t need to know what for. He didn’t owe her anything. He had married a happy girl who loved him dearly, and he’d ended up with a depressed shell of a person who barely noticed anything about him other than his sperm count.
“Yes, I do. Please just let me say this.” She waited, knowing she couldn’t jump out of the car. “I’m sorry about bringing Meeghan to the viewing, and for whatever she might have said to you that was inappropriate. It wasn’t her place to stand there next to me. I’m not saying I expected you to do it, but I should have offered. I should have known you were hurting. I should have helped with that.”
“It’s okay. You have a new life now. I’m . . .” She wanted to say she was happy for him, but she couldn’t force the words out. “. . . dealing with that. I can understand why you would have wanted her there with you.”
“I appreciate that. It still wasn’t right.”
Lexi suddenly wondered what Meeghan thought of this arrangement. Granted, she was elated the girl wasn’t with them, but surely Meeghan didn’t approve. Not when she’d been so pissed just seeing them in her car together at Kelly’s house.
“Is Meeghan okay with this?” she asked.
“It’s fine,” he said rather abruptly.
“She’s fine with you spending the weekend alone with your ex-wife? She didn’t even seem comfortable with me in a room with you and a hundred other people,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“If you wanted to bring her this weekend, I could have stayed at that little hotel in town or something.”
“Lex, I said it doesn’t matter. We . . . broke up.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” She was. A little. Just because she never liked to see him sad.
He nodded but didn’t seem to want to say anything else. They went back to silence for a while until it became unbearable again.
“So, when was the last time you were up here?” she asked him, bracing herself for his answer. He had most likely brought the new girl up to the cabin in the past six months. That was to be expected, and she wasn’t going to cry.
“Hmm. I guess the Christmas before last, when you and I came up.” Her heart relaxed. “You?”
“I was up with Jimmy last fall. We went hiking to look at the leaves changing.”
“I’m sorry I missed that,” he said sadly.
Just then her ears popped from the pressure as they climbed farther up into the mountains. Some things couldn’t change, like gravity or air pressure or how much she still loved the man sitting next to her. She sighed and pushed the thought away. It was such a beautiful April day, it was impossible not to be happy on some level.
They drove through the small town near the cabin. There were two places to eat, a post office, a tiny grocery store, a gas station, and four churches.
“Why don’t we stop and pick up some food? I can make dinner,” she suggested.
He eyed her with a little smile.
“You’re going to make me dinner?” he asked.
“I’m going to make dinner and you can have some. Don’t make a big deal out of it,” she said, trying to hide a smile.
“You always need to feed everyone,” he teased her as he pulled in at the grocery store.
“It’s not the worst problem to have.” She stuck out her tongue as she jumped out of the car.
He pushed the cart while she filled it with the ingredients needed to make the few meals they would need over the weekend. She also got some lunch meat and breakfast items. Ian hissed an enthusiastic “Yes!” when she threw the bacon in the cart.
At the checkout, Ian held out his credit card and pushed hers away playfully.
“You fry, I’ll buy,” he joked.
The awkwardness between them was completely gone by the time they loaded up the groceries and continued on their way.
When they pulled into the parking area in front of the cabin, her whole body relaxed. It was impossible to be there and be tense. It was as if the mountains wouldn’t allow it.
She looked over at Ian and saw him relaxing, too. He gave her a grin, like he couldn’t help it.
The scents that greeted them when Ian opened the door for her were like coming home. The smell of wood, from the floors and the paneling. Smoke from the fireplace, mixed in with the light smell of dust, old air, and whatever had been cooked there last before it got sealed inside.
She smiled as she looked up at the high ceiling in the main room. Opposite the front door was a large wall of windows that looked out over the small backyard, the deck, and then the view of the mountains and the valley below. To the right was a two-story stone fireplace with a rustic mantel that held photos of the Montgomery family over the years.
To the left, the wall went up to the loft. It was covered in frames. More photos of family mixed in with some paintings and other art. It was eclectic and probably assembled over the years without much planning, but she always thought it was laid out beautifully.
Under the loft area was the eat-in kitchen and laundry room. Up the stairs were two bedrooms and the bathrooms. It was cozy and perfect.
She and Ian unloaded the groceries together. They made sandwiches side by side, sharing the condiments and laughing when they reached for the same thing at the same time. When they were finished with their hasty dinner, he opened a bottle of white wine from the cellar and poured both of them a glass.
“You want to sit out and catch the sunset with me?” he offered.
“Sure. Thanks.” She took the glass and grabbed a blanket off the sofa before she followed him out on the deck.
In the past they used to share one of the large wooden chaises that lined the deck. They would snuggle up so long they’d sometimes fall asleep out there.
This time, they each took their own seat. Hers felt too big, like it would swallow her up. Ian slid it so it would be positioned for a good show. As he bent to move his, she saw the top of his boxers sticking out above his cargo shorts. His muscles flexed under his T-shirt, and she gulped down her
wine and tried to look away.
Ian was hot. She’d thought it the first time she met him, and it was just as true today. He was tall and muscular, with dark hair and warm brown eyes that made her melt.
She already knew she missed Ian. His comfort and how he could make her laugh when she was having a bad day. But she hadn’t fully realized how much she’d missed him in the physical sense.
She hadn’t allowed herself to think about him sexually because sex—or at least the ineffectiveness of it—had kind of been the root of their problems. But being there with him, drinking wine and watching the sunset, brought memories of passionate times flitting through her mind. She drank more wine in an effort to keep them at bay. Ian was waiting to refill her glass when it was empty.
“This is nice,” she said stupidly.
He looked over at her and smiled. “It is nice. Thanks for agreeing to come with me.”
“No one says no to Jimmy.” She shrugged and finished her second glass of wine.
“Did he boss you around in his letter?” he guessed.
She nodded slowly. “Pretty much.”
“Me, too,” he said as he took a drink and then filled their glasses again. “To Jimmy. Telling us what we don’t want to hear, because I guess we need to hear it anyway,” he said.
“To Jimmy,” she said in agreement, and tapped her glass against his before taking a sip.
Lexi’s teeth were chattering, but she still insisted she didn’t want to go inside yet.
He didn’t blame her. The stars were out, and without the light pollution from civilization, it looked like they could reach up and help themselves to one.
They finished off the second bottle of wine, and he was feeling very relaxed. He had been nervous about this trip, but so far they’d been able to chat about easy things and have a good time, considering.
Seeing her huddled up in the blanket on the chaise made him want to snuggle in beside her and offer his warmth, but he didn’t.
He watched her openly as she looked up at the sky. Her dark hair scattered around her shoulders and a content expression on her face.
She yawned.
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