“He’s really bad. Or maybe I am. I don’t know… It took, like, forever just to get him to sit.”
“I’m sure he’ll get better,” I laugh. “With classes that expensive, they have to work, right?”
“Right,” she guffaws.
I take a sip of my latte, but something tastes off.
“What?” Kaila asks.
“It tastes…different.”
“Mine is fine.”
I shrug. “Come on. I guess we should get back, in case the painters have any questions.”
We check for traffic, and then scurry across the street. As soon as I step into the gallery, the intense smell of fresh paint hits, and my stomach rolls right over.
“Ugh.” I cover my mouth and nose.
“It’s strong, all right,” Kaila agrees, sipping away on her latte like the paint’s scent is anything but repugnant.
My stomach writhes again, and this time, it’s not just nausea. There’s something else coming up as well.
“Oh my God,” I gasp, rushing across the gallery.
I barely make it to the bathroom in time. Shutting the door behind me, I collapse on the floor and vomit into the toilet.
There’s a knock on the door. “Violet? Are you okay?”
I hurl again, my body shaking with the force. Gasping for air, I sit back on my haunches.
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
Wiping my mouth clean with some tissue, I close my eyes and lean against the wall. My stomach feels stable now, the nausea completely gone. I can feel the sweat running down my forehead, though, and I’m exhausted.
Wait…
Getting up onto shaky feet, I open the door. “I just threw up,” I announce.
Kaila’s jaw drops. “Do you think…”
The coffee. The paint fumes. Those things have never made me feel sick before.
My heart races as I go into my office, Kaila following.
“Maybe.”
I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ve done that too many times, and it never leads anywhere good.
“What should we do?” Kaila frantically asks. “Should I get a test? Should we get you out of here? What if the paint is bad for the baby?”
“Calm down,” I answer, speaking not just to her, but to myself as well.
My stomach might be calm, but my legs are shaking. I take a seat behind my desk and inhale, nice and long.
I’m still freaked out. Excited. Scared.
Kaila presses her lips together and quietly watches me.
What do I do first?
I should take another pregnancy test before I call my doctor. But before I even do that, there’s something else I want to do. Someone I need to speak to.
“I need to see Sean,” I whisper, my eyes stinging with the beginnings of tears.
“But you said you didn’t want him involved.”
“I know,” I gasp. “I thought I wouldn’t.”
“Do you think it’s his?” Kaila whispers.
I gulp.
“I don’t know. I just know that I…I need to tell him about this.”
Why, I don’t know. We already agreed he wouldn’t be involved. He has no interest in having a kid—not with me.
But that doesn’t stop every cell in my body from screaming the truth: I need to see Sean. It’s unexplainable, but right now, he’s the only person who matters.
Chapter 19
Sean
The sound of my phone ringing pierces my skull. Groaning, I roll over and reach across the bedside table, but my fingers close around empty air.
“Christ.”
Sitting up, I rub my eyes and look around the simple room at my uncle’s little guesthouse. The morning sun streams in through the windows, casting a golden glow on the furniture. The phone rings on and on, crying for my attention.
Kicking off the sheets, I stumble off the futon and around the room. Finally, I locate the phone on top of my duffel bag.
At the name on the screen, my chest squeezes.
“Hello?” I quickly answer, afraid I’ve already missed Violet’s call.
“Sean?” Her voice sounds so small and far away. It doesn’t matter that we’re on the same island.
“Is everything okay?”
My throat closes up as a dozen possibilities run through my head.
I haven’t heard from Violet in a month. The only thing we have in common anymore is our moms are best friends. As far as the baby, well, I kind of settled into the belief that that might not be happening.
Phone pressed to my ear, I glance out the window, at the main house. There’s no sign of anything amiss. If something had happened to one of my parents, Uncle Jim would know by now.
Violet takes a long time answering. “Everything is fine, I think.”
“What do you mean you think?”
I don’t mean to bark at Violet, but she has me going crazy. Weeks without talking, and now she calls me up out of the blue. Having Frank leave suddenly was bad enough, and now I’ve had to deal with not seeing her anymore, either.
“I think I’m pregnant.”
The news steals my next breath. I stand frozen, not sure what to say.
“Yeah,” she says after another moment. “I know.”
That draws a slight chuckle from me. “Well, uh, congratulations.”
It sounds all wrong on my tongue. If she is pregnant and it is mine, then I shouldn’t be saying ‘congrats’ over the phone. I should be there with her.
Even if the baby’s not mine, I should be there with her.
These last few weeks of hanging out at my aunt and uncle’s beach house, riding, surfing, and shooting the shit with cousins have been nothing like they usually are. I just can’t enjoy myself anymore. Everything has changed. Something is missing.
Violet.
“I’m on my way,” I say.
“Wait…what? No, you don’t have to come here. Aren’t you—”
“Where are you?” I grab some pants and yank them on.
“I’m at the gallery, but—”
“Don’t go anywhere.”
I hang up before she can protest further and I can chicken out. My hands are shaking as I finish getting dressed and grab my things. I’ve been so dumb. The reason I never wanted to settle down was because I never found the right woman…because it turned out the perfect girl for me was under my nose all along.
I know it’s more than possible that Violet doesn’t feel the same way. I’m not a dumbass. She told me weeks ago that this was a no-strings-attached situation. But I have to take a chance and be honest about my deal. If I don’t, I’ll spend the rest of my life hating myself for not going for it when I could have.
A baby.
Images of a toddler running around, giggling with a squeaky voice fill my head as I race down the highway, keeping an eye out for cops as I push my bike over the speed limit. My parents would be so happy.
I would be so happy.
I swallow down the ball of tension in my throat. It’s all up to Violet. If she still doesn’t want me to be involved, there’s nothing I can do about it.
On the outskirts of Honolulu, I spot a drugstore and veer into its parking lot. Inside, I rush down the aisles. Finding the pregnancy tests, I scoop up as many as will fit in my arms. The older lady at the checkout counter raises an eyebrow.
“Are these all for one person?” she asks, scanning the rectangular boxes and dropping them in a plastic bag.
“Yes, ma’am.” I nod in affirmation.
With a bag full of tests in my hand, I hop back on the bike and tear out of the lot. The closer I get to the gallery, the more nervous I become. By the time I’m parked and walking through the door, I feel like I might throw up.
“Hello?” I call into the empty space.
The place is barren, with the door propped open and decorating supplies replacing the regular art.
I walk across the gallery. “Hello? Violet?”
Her office door flies open, and, suddenly,
she’s only a couple feet away from me. For a long second, we just stare at each other. She’s paler than I remember, with slight bags under her eyes—but none of that takes away from her beauty.
Her long lashes slowly blink. I’m burning to reach for her, but I stay where I am, arms pressed against my sides so they don’t do something stupid.
“Hey,” I breathe.
“Hi.”
I clear my throat, and it echoes in the empty gallery. “You’re here alone?”
“The painters are on their lunch break, and Kaila is running an errand. They’ll all be back soon.”
“It’s been a while,” I say, then try not to make a face over the stupid comment.
Violet slowly nods. “Yeah. I’ve been…”
“Busy?”
Her eyes slide away from mine.
“I was going to say that, but it’s been more than that.”
Like you hate me and never want to see me again?
“Violet, listen, about the last time we saw each other…”
She looks at me expectantly, but I end up shifting my weight around rather than saying anything. I don’t know what to say about that night with Frank. I’m fine with what happened. It was great, actually. I’m just not fine with spending weeks afterward not talking to the one woman who’s ever meant something to me.
“Do you regret it?” she asks.
“No,” I quickly say. “Not at all.”
“It might have been the night that got me pregnant.”
I gulp. With whose kid? Mine, or Frank’s?
Again, I’m surprised to realize it doesn’t matter. I want to be a part of this baby’s life, no matter who its biological dad is.
Violet smiles, but it’s tight and doesn’t last long.
“What do you have there?” She nods at the bag in my hand, ignoring my question.
“Pregnancy tests.” I open the plastic bag to show her, and she laughs.
“Sean! How many did you buy?”
I scratch my neck self-consciously. “Uh, I dunno…maybe ten. Fifteen?”
“Two would have been more than enough.”
She’s genuinely smiling now, though, so that makes dropping a hundred dollars on tests more than worth it.
“Thanks. Kaila was going to stop and get me one on her way back, but this is…nice.”
I offer her the bag, trying to ignore how stilted her speech is. Some weird stuff may have happened between us, but does that really change all the good times we’ve had? Aside from Frank, I’ve never been as close to anyone as I am to Violet. Doesn’t that alone count for more than all the bullshit?
Violet accepts the bag and looks into it once more.
“I guess I should take a couple of these.”
“Right. Yeah. Do that.”
I step out of the way so she can go into the bathroom across the hall. The second the door closes, I clutch my hair at the roots and start walking back and forth. What if she is pregnant? I’ll need to tell her what I want.
But what if she’s not? Will she want to try again with me? Move on and look for a donor somewhere else? There are too many questions, and I’m going fucking insane without any of them being answered.
“How’s it going in there?” I call out, halting pacing for a moment.
“Okay,” comes Violet’s muffled answer. A toilet flushes. “It’ll just be a few minutes.”
I go back to wearing a trail into the floorboards. This whole spilling my guts thing is new. Maybe I just need to take baby steps. Admit one thing today, and the next, tomorrow…if I can handle it.
Going to the door, I steel myself and let the words fly out.
“Violet, I’ve been thinking a lot about all of this. I know that it was supposed to be a no-strings-attached thing, and that back when all of this started, I wasn’t bothered about being a dad. But the truth is, I am now. And I don’t mean that in some casual way. I don’t want to be the kind of dad who visits once a month, or once a year. I want to be there, each and every day.”
My throat becomes tight as I think about Violet’s father walking out on her. Never in a million years will I hurt my kid that way.
“I want to raise the baby with you, and I want to be there when he or she is born. I get that you want to do this on your own, but please just think about it, all right? That’s…that’s all I’m asking.”
The most painful silence ever follows my speech. Never have I felt so damn exposed—and I haven’t even told Violet I’m in love with her. I close my eyes and will myself to not turn and run from the gallery with my tail behind my legs.
Just as I’m getting to the point where I can’t take the silence any longer, the bathroom door opens. Violet stands there, eyes soft and searching my face.
“Do you mean what you said?” she quietly asks.
“Yes,” I fiercely whisper, putting my heart and soul into that one word. “It’s been on my mind for weeks, Violet. And I know this isn’t right, but even when we first made the agreement, I think a part of me wanted this. I’m not a robot. I want people around me…and I think I would make an okay dad. I mean, shit, I’d try my hardest every day.” I sigh, running out of steam. “I don’t know what else to say. Please just think it over.”
She draws that perfect lower lip between her teeth.
“You never said anything about this before.”
“Because I knew it wasn’t what you wanted.”
Unexpectedly, her eyes fill with tears.
“God, Sean, I was just being strong because I have to. It’s not that I hate the idea of having my baby’s dad around…I just know I can’t depend on that.”
I quickly take her hand in mine. “You can with me. I promise.”
A single tear rolls down her cheek. “I believe you.”
Relief and joy explode in my chest—but with them, there’s also sadness. Violet only knows half of what’s been keeping me awake for weeks.
“So…if you are pregnant, does that mean you’ll let me help raise the baby?”
She nods. “Yes.”
Emotion clogs my throat. “When is the test ready?”
Violet reaches for the counter next to her, grabbing two handfuls of sticks. She extends them all, a smile on her face. Five plus signs make my vision swirl.
“That…that’s a yes, right?” I stammer.
Violet smiles. “Yes. I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 20
Violet
“Great. Thanks so much.” I hang up the phone and turn to Sean. “They just had a cancellation and can fit me in if I go down there right away.”
He’s already turning for the gallery door. “Let’s go. Where is it?”
“I have to tell Kaila…” The rest of the words die as the girl in question comes through the gallery’s front door.
Her surprised gaze falls on Sean.
“Hello,” she cautiously says.
“Hey.”
Sean nods at her, but he’s already looking past her shoulder, eager to get going. His enthusiasm warms my heart and makes me want to start crying again.
“We were just going to the doctor,” I announce.
Kaila gasps. “You are?”
“Yeah.” I take her hand and pull her toward my office. “Sean, I’ll be there in one second.”
As soon as I close the office door, Kaila grabs my shoulders.
“I brought you a test.”
“I already took five that Sean brought. I’m pregnant!”
“Oh my gosh,” she coos. “This is huge!”
“I know. And there’s more: Sean wants to be involved. Full-time.”
Her skeptical look can’t be missed. “Is that what you want?”
“Yeah.” As I say it, my confidence grows.
I’ve spent so long denying myself, it feels amazing to speak my truth. Now, if only Sean also wanted to be my partner, not just a co-parent.
“We have to go. The doctor’s office just fit me in last minute.”
“Good luck.” Ka
ila hugs me. “Keep me updated.”
“I will,” I promise.
We walk in silence to my car. I like that Sean doesn’t even mention taking his motorcycle. Hopefully, that’s a good sign.
This is right. I know it. When Sean told me he wanted to help raise the baby, I nearly fell over. Despite my earlier misgivings, I was wrong about him. He’s not my father, and he’s not some other guy who is going to make a promise and just leave. He’s Sean. When he gives his word, it means something.
“What are you thinking?” he asks as I pull out into traffic.
I give him a quick glance. Anything more is too hard.
“My head is kind of a mess right now.”
He nods and looks at his lap. We hit a red light, and now, I can’t help but stare at the side of his face. There are so many words resting right on my tongue, but no courage behind them. So much has already happened today. What would I even say if I found the nerve? I love you, Sean?
No. Not gonna happen. I’m not that crazy.
The light changes to green, and I hit the gas, leaving the untouched confession far behind.
At the doctor’s office, Sean comes into the room with me. We sit in hard chairs and I answer question after question, watching Sean out of the corner of my eye the whole time. If he’s just as nervous as I am, he doesn’t show it. His face is smooth, his posture calm.
When the doctor gives an estimated conception date, we finally look straight at each other. Sean’s green eyes dance.
“That day…” I murmur.
He nods, agreeing to what I won’t say. The date is only an estimation, but if it’s right, then that means Sean got me pregnant the very first day we slept together.
“Looks like I owe you a painting,” I say.
Sean smirks, red covering his face. It might be the first time I’ve ever seen him blush. Knowing I’m the one who’s making him do it causes me to be happy to an unnatural degree.
With my next appointment booked, Sean and I leave the doctor’s office. Everything is just the same as it was when we walked in, yet it’s all different. I’m pregnant. Really pregnant. In one day, my entire life has changed.
Power Play - A MFMMM Reverse Harem Billionaire Romance (You Can't Resist a Bad Boy Book 6) Page 30