Walk Me Home (retail)

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by Catherine Ryan Hyde


  She’s breathing like she’s just run a marathon. She takes off her hat with one hand and wipes the sweat off her face with her sleeve.

  Alvin sets the hose down and walks over to where Carly is standing. Grabs one handle of the heavy tool.

  ‘Trade you,’ he says.

  ‘Yeah, OK.’

  ‘That hurt your hand?’

  ‘Yeah. Some.’

  ‘Sure we don’t need to get that looked at?’

  ‘But the swelling’s going down.’

  ‘Well, give it a break, then. Least you can do for it. I should’ve thought of that. I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ she says.

  ‘I just forgot, is the thing. Or I never would’ve had you try it.’

  She picks up the hose, and Alvin’s tape measure. Measures off six feet from the post he’s working on. Soaks the next spot.

  ‘Hotter than it was when I left,’ she says to him.

  ‘Yup. Summer’s coming on, all right. Nothing you or anybody else can do to change its mind.’

  ‘I feel really bad about my mom. I can’t stop thinking about that.’

  Alvin stops pounding. Carly just keeps looking at the dirt, refusing to make eye contact. In her peripheral vision, she can feel him watching her.

  ‘Come on,’ he says. ‘Let’s take ourselves a break.’

  They sit on the porch together in the shade. In two straight-backed wooden chairs. Carly takes off her hat and sets it on her knee. Where she can look at it.

  A Wakapi woman Carly never met goes by on a bicycle down the dirt road, a thin cloud of red dust following. The woman raises one hand in a wave, and Alvin returns the gesture.

  ‘Hey, Alvin,’ the woman calls. ‘Hey, Carly.’

  Then she rides on.

  ‘How does she know my name?’

  ‘Oh, you got to be quite the legend around here while you were away. Now what’s this about your mom?’

  Carly lets out a long, unhappy sigh.

  ‘I thought she was lying about Teddy. So she could leave him for this guy. Who she was already sleeping with. I wouldn’t speak to her. I said I hated her and I called her a liar. I told her I’d never forgive her. And then I didn’t speak to her for months. Literally. Like, four or five months. And then she went off with that guy, and got herself killed. And now I come to find out she wasn’t lying. She did a lot that was wrong, my mom, but not that. Not that one thing. And I didn’t know that was the last chance I’d ever have to speak to her. And now I feel like I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.’

  ‘You are,’ Alvin says.

  ‘Gee, thanks. You were supposed to say something comforting.’

  ‘Want me to lie to you?’

  ‘No.’

  They sit quietly for a time. Carly puts one hand on her hat, where it sits on her knee. It looks just right there. When it’s not on her head.

  ‘We took off out of there so fast, I don’t even know where they buried her.’

  ‘Want me to see if I can find out?’

  ‘Yeah. That would be good. Thank you.’

  ‘See? You’re getting good at that. Told you a little practise’s all it takes.’

  Alvin gets up and wanders into the house. Comes back out with two pottery cups of ice water about the size of small buckets. Hands one to her.

  ‘Thanks,’ she says, and takes a long draw.

  ‘OK. I’ll try to say something comforting. We got a different relationship to our ancestors than the people you grew up with. We still get some help and guidance from those who’re gone. Like they’re gone in one way, but not in every way. We’re not taught to be cut off from our ancestors, like they’re just dead, and that’s that.’

  ‘Wish I’d been taught like that.’

  ‘Never too old to learn,’ Alvin says. ‘Question is whether you’ll stay around here with us long enough to pick up something new.’

  Carly never answers that question.

  She just looks off at the line of low mountains in the distance, liking the way the sun hits them. Liking the way the breeze blows patterns in the dry grasses between here and there. Liking the way the horses graze in a field across the road. And the way the clouds scud across the navy-blue edges of the sky.

  It’s a good sky.

  The reason she doesn’t answer the question is because she still wants to reserve more time to think. Before she makes any big commitments.

  But she’s pretty sure she already knows.

  Author’s Note

  There is no such thing as a Native American tribe called the Wakapi. They are fictional.

  The land on which I have depicted them living is very real. It’s in Arizona, just where it appears in this novel. It contains the Painted Desert, and some of the most impressive landscapes I know. It is haunting and simple, pure, and, in my eyes, achingly beautiful. It never ceases to make me feel awed, insignificant, and inspired, usually all at the same time. I have been through and to this area on a number of occasions.

  In the real world, these lands belong to the Navajo, Hopi, and Apache tribes.

  My initial vision for this book was to depict a few fictional members of a real tribe, and I set off to research this tribe with much the same zeal as I set off to research transplant surgeries when I wrote Second Hand Heart.

  Here’s what I learned:

  A surgery is a finite thing. And, when all is said and done, it is only that: a thing. It is not a human being, a rich history, or a culture. It has limits. It follows the same basic guidelines each time it occurs. Its complexity is nothing compared to a people.

  As a result of this realization, I created the fictional Wakapi tribe as a way to show my immense respect for the Native American culture and way of life. Because I ultimately decided it was far more respectful to openly admit that I do not know any Native American tribe well enough to take on their story, or even the story of one or more of their people. A great deal of harm has been done to Native American culture by outsiders. My hope is not to contribute to that harm in any way. Ultimately, I decided my goal would be best accomplished by remaining on the outside.

  I do realize I am still depicting a version of Native American life in a very general way. I don’t suppose I can have done so perfectly from my outsider position, but I hope I have done it reasonably well, and that my respect shines through.

  About the Author

  Catherine Ryan Hyde is the author of several highly acclaimed novels including the award-winning Pay it Forward (which was made into a feature film starring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt), Love in the Present Tense (a Richard & Judy Book Club bestseller), Chasing Windmills, When I Found You, Second Hand Heart, Don’t Let Me Go and When You Were Older.

  Also by Catherine Ryan Hyde and published by Black Swan

  WHEN YOU WERE OLDER

  DON’T LET ME GO

  SECOND HAND HEART

  WHEN I FOUND YOU

  THE HARDEST PART OF LOVE

  (previously published as Electric God)

  CHASING WINDMILLS

  PAY IT FORWARD

  LOVE IN THE PRESENT TENSE

  Other books by Catherine Ryan Hyde

  JUMPSTART THE WORLD

  DIARY OF A WITNESS

  THE DAY I KILLED JAMES

  THE YEAR OF MY MIRACULOUS REAPPEARANCE

  BECOMING CHLOE

  WALTER’S PURPLE HEART

  EARTHQUAKE WEATHER

  FUNERALS FOR HORSES

  TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS

  61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA

  A Random House Group Company

  www.transworldbooks.co.uk

  WALK ME HOME

  A BLACK SWAN BOOK: 9780552778015

  Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781446487808

  First publication in Great Britain

  Black Swan edition published 2013

  Copyright © Circles in the Dirt, Inc./Catherine Ryan Hyde 2013

  Catherine Ryan Hyde has asserted her right under the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

  This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at:

  www.randomhouse.co.uk

  The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009

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