“No, Devany. Dreams are just your mind telling tales.” Oh, are they, now? And what kind of tale was your mind telling the other night? She shook off the thought, and frowned. She was missing a connection somewhere. Never mind, she would find it another time. Right now, she had Devany to take care of.
“That's all right, then,” said Devany. “You can go to bed now. I'll be okay.”
“You sure? I can stay up with you, if you like.”
“No, but can I call you if I get scared worse?” she lifted worried eyes to Seren's.
“Of course you can. If you get really scared, you know where to find Daffyd and me. Just come and jump into bed with us, okay? That's what my little girl does when she has bad dreams; she gets into my bed and snuggles.” She smiled and brushed Devany's hair from her forehead.
“All right. Good night, Seren,” said Devany, and rolled on her side.
Seren went to the master bedroom. She quietly closed the door behind her and came farther into the room. The lamp on the night table cast a warm glow over the bed. Daffyd lay on his back, the covers pulled to his chest. His sharp eyes noticed her hesitation.
“Seren?” he said in a low voice. “Would you rather I slept on the couch?”
“No,” she said quickly. “No. I want this. I do. I'm being stupid, that's all.” Her hands plucked nervously at the knotted sash about her waist.
“Why don't you leave your robe on, then, and come here?” He threw the blankets back to open a spot beside him. She crawled in next to him, into his waiting arms.
He had been right to suggest she leave the robe on. It provided her with a feeling of security, helped her feel less vulnerable. But oh! he was warm and solid under her hands. She molded herself against him, belly to belly, legs entwined, her heart pounding against his chest.
He pressed her head to his shoulder, under the corner of his jaw, and cradled her. He felt her trembling.
“Are you certain you want to be here, now, with me?” his voice was gentle.
I don't know what I want, Daffyd. I want to hold you and love you. I want to run as far as I can from you. I want you to kiss me and I want you to go away and leave me alone! The turmoil of her emotions was too much for one person to contain. Tears began to spill, to her embarrassment and shame. She doubted that any other person in her life had ever seen her cry so much. She tried to control her breathing, taking shallow breaths with a wide-open mouth, hoping to hide the fact of her weeping.
He felt the spreading wetness on his shoulder, and the movement of her breasts on his chest as she tried not to sob openly.
“I'll ask one more time, Seren. Do you want me to leave?”
She shook her head, her face buried in his neck. “No, Daffyd. I need you.” He had to strain to hear the words. He pulled back a little and cupped her face in his big hand. He kissed her wet cheeks, her lips.
“If you're sure you need me, I'll stay.”
“I do,” she whispered. “Oh, I do. I need this.” She kissed his throat. “I need you.”
He shushed her fears and rocked her gently in his arms, holding her close to him. “Can you tell me what's wrong?” he asked at length.
“No,” she said miserably. “I wish I knew. This is so unlike me to come apart like this. I feel so frightened, Daffyd, and I don't know why.” She rubbed her cheek over the hair on his chest. “I think I'm afraid of losing you,” she said at last. “Suppose Rapsim finds a way for us all to go home. I'd never see you again.” She kissed his chest softly. “I don't want that.”
“Neither do I,” he said, and brushed his lips across her forehead. His fingers trailed down her back to her hip, exploring her curves.
“Come home with me,” she said. “You and Devany both. Assuming we find a way back to my world, that is.” She looked into his eyes. “I can't imagine life without you, Daffyd. Actually, I can, and I don't like the idea very much.” She smiled.
“The idea has crossed my mind; going home with you, I mean. Reznik suggested it to me. I thought she was being foolish, but I couldn't shake the thought.” He bent his neck and gazed into her dark eyes. “I want to. I do. But what would I do there, Seren? How will you explain me to your children, your friends and family? How would I make a living?”
“I don't know, but something tells me a man of your abilities and talents wouldn't have too difficult a time making a career out of anything he wanted. Start a local orchestra; we could use a little culture. Teach music. Meggie is learning to play the piano; I bet you could teach her a lot.” She touched his face. “I'm sure we'd come up with something.”
“And what will you tell your children about me, or Devany?” he asked.
“You really like playing Devil's Advocate, don't you? I mean you're making me look at all the possible difficulties, the downside of everything,” she said.
“I want you to be certain that you're prepared for the reality of it all,” he replied.
“The reality is that life without you would be so incredibly empty,” she told him. “If we have to rent an apartment for you until the kids are used to your being part of my life, then that's what we'll do. I'd rather have you move in with me, share my bed every night from the get-go, but we can work it out, Daffyd. We'll tell my children the truth, and we'll get the Recruits to help with a story for the rest of the world. Rap did say they do that sometimes. I have to figure out how to explain my sudden disappearance anyway.” She stroked his shoulder. “I know. We'll tell people that you're an old friend from a long time ago that I ran into, and fell in love with.” Her dimples put in an appearance.
“You're going to tell people you're in love with me?” He felt a jolt of fear before he remembered. “That's right. Hetero is normal for your world.” His face grew thoughtful. “I could take you to a restaurant and hold your hand?”
“You could lean across the table and kiss me, if you wanted to,” she laughed softly. “We can cuddle on the couch and watch movies with the kids. And if I were to turn to you and do this,” she demonstrated with a deep and lingering kiss. “They wouldn't care, except Meggie would probably make gagging noises. She doesn't care for that ‘mushy stuff', as she calls it.”
He looked at her in wonder. I could live with you. I could share a bed with you and no one would care. I wouldn't have to hide my feelings and pretend you're ‘just a friend'. We could actually have a life together. Seren watched the play of emotions across his strong features; wonder, disbelief, hope. She saw his internal struggle to accept something completely foreign to his experience. At last, he spoke, “I want to come with you, if it's possible. I want Devany and me to stay with you. But if it's possible for me to go home, just for a short time, I want my family to know that I'm all right, and to tie up some loose ends that will make their lives easier.”
“What happens if you go home and can't get back to us?” she asked.
“I'll find that out before I go. I'm not going anywhere if it means never seeing you again. I need you, Seren.” He ran gentle fingers over her face. “I feel that I've been wanting you my whole life, wanting this, knowing I could never have it. But here you are. And being with you is everything I ever dreamed love could be.” He smiled, embarrassed at his confession. “It's foolish for a man my age to be telling you all this. Falling in love is for the very young, isn't it?”
“So the very young would have us believe,” she said. They fell silent. He kissed her hesitantly, suddenly afraid he would wake and she would be gone. She nuzzled his beard, his neck, her nibbling kisses bringing gooseflesh out on his arms. They cuddled and laughed together, desire slowly mounting.
“Could you untie my robe?” she asked, her hands otherwise occupied. He could and he did. It fell open and she wriggled free of its folds, tossed it onto the floor. He grinned as she kicked at it one last time and he pulled her into a close embrace. She felt wonderful against his body and he lost himself in her caresses. He had found a woman whose passion matched his own, who wasn't ashamed of her own desires. Their lovemak
ing was intense and joyous, quiet laughter mingled with soft murmurs of longing. He held her and loved her and wanted nothing more.
They slept, Seren's back against his chest, Daffyd's arms loosely wrapped around her. He dreamed.
They held him in chains and tore the clothing from his unresisting body. “Fight!” they jeered. “Fight us, and she dies, too!” Cruel, mocking laughter filled the night. He would do nothing to harm her. He loved her, and although she had never said so, he knew she loved him too. He wished he had heard it from her, though, just once.
A light shone on the site of his execution. Darkness crowded on all sides, hiding those who jeered and mocked him. A voice, familiar, but unnamed, led the taunting, “Look at him now ... thought he was so wonderful. The Great Daffyd ap Owen. He's twisted. Evil. Unnatural. What is the penalty?”
“Death!” the unseen crowd sighed.
“How shall he be cleansed?”
“By FIRE!” a roar of hatred and fear.
Rough hands pushed him into the light. He heard his name and he lifted his bowed head, searching. It had been her voice—but she shouldn't be here! He squinted, trying to see past the circle of light. The shadows were dark and deep. He mouthed her name silently. His heart ached for what they might have had.
He was manhandled into the chair and bound securely to it. Her voice screamed his name from behind his left shoulder and he turned his head. A torch landed beneath the seat. The heat rose into him. He writhed against his bonds. The pain was enormous. He called her name, tried to turn toward her, to see her one last time. He could feel the fat layer under his skin melting, running inside him. He heard her shriek of horror, and then she was there, beyond the curtain of heat that engulfed him. Her face was a mask of terror and despair. He saw the shape of his name on her lips and the words, “I love you.” He smiled, despite the pain, and then knew nothing beyond the agony.
He cried out in his sleep, waking first Seren and then himself. He sat up and collapsed slowly back as he realized he was not burning to death. He had forgotten he was sharing the bed, and when Seren touched him, he jumped, and made a startled “Aaah!” sound.
“Seren!” he gasped.
“Are you all right?” she asked with more than a little concern. She turned on the bedside lamp and looked at him. Sweat ran down his chest and face, and his hand trembled when he reached out to her.
“I will be,” he hazarded. “I think.” He squeezed her hand; a drowning man clutching at straws.
She studied him for a moment. “I'll be right back,” she said and slid out of bed long enough to grab the towel from her morning shower. She climbed back beside him and began to wipe him down—his face, his chest, his abdomen and arms.
“That must have been some dream!” she said, as she pressed the towel to his forehead and across his bald pate.
“It's not one I care to repeat. Ever.” He smiled at her shakily. “I'm thankful it was only a dream, though.”
She took his hand and held it to her lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head. “I don't know. It was quite ... unpleasant. Horrifying, in fact. I don't want to burden you with it. It might give you nightmares.”
“If it will help you sleep, I can listen. Besides, I've got you to snuggle up with in the night, if I get scared.” Her eyes radiated concern, and he saw her love for him in their depths. He cradled her cheek in his hand. He sighed heavily.
“It was about being burned alive,” he said, with a grimace of lingering pain. “Whoever was doing it to me, they were going to kill you, too, if I fought them. At first, I didn't realize you were there, but I heard you call my name. I couldn't see you, though. You were in the shadows....”
“You said my name, just before they put you in the chair.”
“Yes, to myself. How did you know?” His eyes searched her face.
“They set fire to you, to that stuff that burned without flame,” she said, her gaze focused on the memory. Gooseflesh had appeared on her arms. “You screamed then. I heard you.”
“And you came. I saw you through the heat. You said ‘I love you’ to me.”
“Yes, I did. It was the only thing I could do ... and you smiled ... through the pain and the burning ... you smiled. Oh God, Daffyd, you were melting and I couldn't stop it!” Her chest heaved with remembered horror. Tears filled her eyes. “How could you smile?” She brought her gaze to the present, to his face.
He stroked her cheek. “Because I wasn't going to die without ever hearing you say it. You had never said those words to me before then.”
She stared into the intense blue eyes. “You're right. I hadn't.” She frowned thoughtfully.
“When did you dream? Why didn't you tell me about it?”
“Last night, I guess. It woke me up and I came downstairs to check on you.” She smiled in mild embarrassment. “I wanted to lie down with you on the couch, but I didn't think you would understand. So I just kissed your forehead and came back to bed.”
“You kissed me?” He looked surprised and pleased.
She nodded. “And I did tell you I had a bad dream. Remember, this morning outside the bathroom? I didn't want to tell you I was dreaming about horrible things happening to you. It's not something you want to hit someone with the first thing in the morning.”
He chuckled softly. “No, I suppose it isn't.”
She turned her face to kiss the palm of his hand that was still cupping her face. “Why are we both dreaming this, Daffyd? Do you think it's a warning of some kind?”
“I don't know, sweet. I don't know what to think.”
Seren took his hand in both of hers and held it tightly. “Maybe if we change part of it, we can change it all. I mean, in case it was a premonition or something.”
He frowned, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I'm not going to wait until I'm losing you to tell you what you already know anyway, just because I'm afraid.”
His look of puzzlement increased. She touched his lips with her fingertips.
“I love you, Daffyd,” she said.
“I know,” he replied, and pulled her down to lie on top of him. “But tell me again, anyway.”
She slipped one arm around his neck, the other under his shoulder. She kissed him tenderly. “I love you. More than I can ever tell you.”
He returned the kiss. “I love you, too, Seren.” More than life, he thought, and knew this to be true. If it ever became necessary, he would lay down his life to keep her safe. His strong arms wrapped her in a warm, protective embrace. She lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Sleep claimed them both.
[Back to Table of Contents]
* * *
CHAPTER 34
A cheerful knock at the door woke them. Reznik opened the door and poked her head into the room.
“I'm not interrupting anything, am I?” she asked, grinning widely. “Come on, you two. Breakfast is ready! And Rap has some news!” Her grin widened even more. “Come on!”
“We'll be right there,” grumbled Seren sleepily. “Go away.”
“I'll be back if you're not downstairs in fifteen minutes!” Reznik withdrew her head and closed the door.
Daffyd opened an eye and peered after her. “What was that all about?” he asked.
“I don't know,” Seren rolled over and cuddled into his arms. “Breakfast. News. Something about Rap.” They lay together, quietly snuggling as Reznik's words percolated through sleep-dulled minds. Meaning sank in and eyes flew open.
“Rapsim's found something, I know he has.”
“Rap's got news!” the words tumbled over each other as both spoke. They threw the blankets back. Seren slid lithely out of bed. Daffyd watched her for a moment. He enjoyed so many things about her at so many levels that just watching her choose clothing gave him pleasure. She looked over her shoulder at him.
“What are you waiting for? You heard the girl. Get a move on!” He glimpsed her smile as she turned back to the closet. He
got out of bed, feeling somewhat awkward and embarrassed at first, but the feeling quickly faded, in the face of Seren's unselfconscious nudity. For the first time in his life he was comfortable being casually naked with a woman he had been intimate with. It was an odd and wonderful feeling. He wondered what Seren felt.
She studied him surreptitiously. Nude, he looked exactly as he had in her dream, even to the way he moved. A sudden image of the heat rising around him, his body devoured by the invisible flame, superimposed itself, more real than the man barely seen behind it. She gasped, a tiny, sharp intake of air.
“Daffyd,” she hadn't meant to speak; his name fell from her mouth. He looked up, saw the terror in her eyes. In a stride, he was beside her, hands on her arms, concern radiating from his gentle face. She put her arms about him, and held him fiercely. “You always know when I need you,” she said to his chest. “From Day One, every time I've really, really needed someone to hold on to, you've been there.”
“It's partly been selfishness on my side,” he admitted and stroked her hair. “Since we met, I've wanted to put my arms around you, hold you. But it's not something I could tell you. But when you needed a hug, or a shoulder to cry on, I could be there for you without feeling that I was forcing myself on you.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you all right?”
“I will be. I had a flash of that damn dream—it scared me.” She tried a smile to let him know she was quite all right. “I'm okay now.”
He saw the truth in her eyes. “I'm going to be fine, Seren. Don't worry about the dream, it's just another part of this insane place, I'm sure.” His words sounded confident and sure, but privately he was more concerned than he was letting on. What if it was a premonition, a hint of things to come? He put the thought aside. He kissed her again and moved away from her. “I don't dare hold you like this any longer,” he told her with a smile and a wink. “Or I'll have to take you back to bed and we'll never hear Rapsim's news.”
She laughed quietly, the fear at bay. They hastened into their clothes and down the stairs.
Angels Among Us Page 30