This knowledge crashes through her as she hears herself saying. “Have you had your beach fill yet?”
Willa brushes her hands on her jeans and nods.
“Good. Let’s go back.”
As they jump from rock to rock, Finn swims inside a bittersweet memory of their creek walks at camp. At Willa’s call, Riley runs across the wet sand towards them, chased by the dogs, their fur gone wild in the wind. Finn shivers, and Willa pulls her collar close around her neck and kisses her back to warmth.
CHAPTER 61
Finn
Her dad is leaned over his iPad next to the humming kettle. Another welling of happiness rocks Finn. He’s here.
He holds a finger to his lips and points to the sofa. Her mother’s curled up asleep, the TV on low. She always does this on holidays. Gets up early with them, as if she feels like she should, only to fall back asleep on the couch.
“I thought you three were all tucked up in bed,” he says softly.
“Nope.” Finn jerks a thumb at Willa. “This one was too hyper.”
“Sorry,” Willa says, not looking a bit sorry.
“I’m going out on the boat with Matteo in about half an hour. We’ll try and probably fail to catch some dinner. You girls want to come?”
“Nope.” Finn hates fishing. It’s boring and cold, waiting for a bite. Then it’s kind of gross when they finally do catch something.
“I knew you’d say that. I was just being polite.” He turns to Riley. “What about you? Bella usually comes.”
“Can I?” Riley turns to Willa. “I’ve never been on a boat.”
“Yes, you have. With Dad. We went out on the mangroves, but you probably don’t remember it.” Willa smooths a hand over Riley’s head. “Do what you’re told, okay?”
Riley rolls her eyes. “I know.”
“You girls want coffee?” Martin asks, turning for the kettle.
“Nope,” Finn says. “I’m going back to sleep for at least two more hours, and no power on this earth can stop me. Come on.” She grabs Willa’s hand and pulls on it.
“You be okay, Riles?” Willa asks as Finn drags her to the foot of the stairs.
“Mhm.” She doesn’t even look up from the TV.
“She’ll be fine,” Martin says. “We’ll have some breakfast, and then we’ll go meet our fellow fisherman. What do you like on your toast, kiddo?”
Finn yanks harder on Willa’s hand. She will not lose this tug of war. All she wants is Willa exquisitely, selfishly to herself, and this might be her only chance to get it today. She drags her all the way into her bedroom, with its sweeping view and unmade bed.
“It’s freezing,” Willa squeals as she sheds her thick jacket and sits on the mattress. Then she frowns. “Hey, will your parents mind that I’m in here with you?”
Finn shrugs. “The door’s open.” They’re not breaking any rules, exactly. She pulls off her jacket and slides into bed, pulling Willa in with her. Willa’s arm automatically curls around her and pulls her close. They hold on tight until they’ve built a stronghold of warmth.
“Better,” Willa whispers. “Sorry I made you go out in the cold.”
“No you’re not.” Finn smiles and shuffles in closer. “But I forgive you.” She presses her face close to Willa’s. They kiss, long and slow, and it feels like something’s quietly unstitching in Finn somewhere. In the good way. She runs her hand under Willa’s T-shirt, smoothing her palms over the silky flatness of her stomach. And then, because she can’t resist, she glides it up between her ribs, dipping into that sweet hollow at the base of her chest. Bold now, she continues upward, swallowing hard when no bra strap stops her journey. Willa’s not wearing one. Her blood swims harder as her fingers travel up the safe zone between Willa’s breasts and up to her sternum. She’s inching along the return journey, purposely veering off course, when Willa’s brow furrows. She places her hand over Finn’s. “Hey?” she whispers.
Finn doesn’t know what to say. Or how to say what she suddenly feels secure in wanting. So instead she sits up, climbs over Willa, and smiles down at her.
Willa smiles back, but her eyebrows are a curious crinkle. Finn still doesn’t say anything. Just pulls off her jumper and drops it on the bed next to her. Then her T-shirt. And then, in a manoeuvre more awkward than it’s ever happened in her imagination, she unhooks her bra and throws it on the floor.
With that, Willa’s eyes widen and then soften. She wraps her arms around Finn’s neck and draws her down closer. Her gaze seems to shine a light to Finn’s eyes, interrogating. “I thought we weren’t going there yet?”
Finn can only smile. Because of beautiful Willa, who won’t let her be reckless unless it’s real. Not when Finn’s made it mean so much. “We’re not. Not really. I guess we’re just taking a baby step closer?”
“Okay.” Willa nods slowly, still scrutinising. Her hands stroke the bare stretch of Finn’s back. “It just seems like a sudden, kind of large baby step, that’s all.”
Finn supposes it is, in context. Willa’s never even let her hands stray over Finn’s clothes. But because she wants Willa to hurry up and be okay with her sudden U-turn, she says, “Not really. It’s just a second base kind of step. Or first base?” Finn frowns. “Actually, I’ve never been clear on the whole base thing, but we’re here, wherever that is.”
“We are.” Willa’s smile turns to tease. “Well, you are, anyway.”
“You could fix that.”
Willa takes her challenge, reaching down and takes hold of the bottom of her T-shirt. But as Finn sits up to make room for her, she suddenly stops and stares again, a small, smitten smile on her face. “You’re so...” She shakes her head, like she can’t find the right word.
A blush storms Finn’s cheeks. She crosses her arms tight over her chest as her bravado starts to slink away. “Stop staring.”
“Finn, if you want me to not look at you, taking off your top was not the ideal strategy.”
Embarrassment makes Finn laugh harder than she needs to. Then she pointedly looks down at the scrunched blue cotton marooned under Willa’s ribs. “Um, weren’t you in the middle of something?”
She expects Willa to come back at that, to tease or challenge, but she doesn’t. Instead her expression turns shy as she takes a hold of her T-shirt again. She doesn’t move straight away, though.
Finn ducks her head, realising that she’s recklessly thrown something at Willa and just expected her to catch it. “I mean, only if you want to.”
“Of course I do.” Willa’s voice cracks as she says it, but she smiles. She begins easing her shirt up. Finn reaches down to help, sliding it up over her rib cage. When it’s dropped on the floor beside them, Willa lies back on the pillows under Finn’s gaze, a deep cleave between her brows.
“Hey, don’t look like that.” Finn leans down, her mouth close to Willa’s ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
“So are you.” Willa pulls her the rest of the way down until their skin is pushed close.
The sun slides further into the sky as they kiss and laugh and learn by heart the places they’ve bared for each other. The feel of Willa’s skin under her is so unbearably good, and it’s only the thought of her mother downstairs that keeps Finn from exploring even more.
The sun is higher and brighter when she pulls back from another breathless kiss and runs her hand up Willa’s side. “Do you mind if we stop here?”
“Of course.” Willa immediately moves off her, but Finn chases her, not ready to relinquish her altogether.
“I don’t mean stop now,” Finn whispers. “I just mean stop…here.”
“I know what you mean. And I’m totally happy here.” Willa pushes her lips to Finn’s shoulder. “You know, I could live on second base,” she says. “Or whatever base we’re on.”
Finn laughs. “I’m going to Google that later. As my history teacher always says, research first, research always.”
“Somehow I don’t think she was talking about this specific co
ntext.”
“Definitely not.” Finn pulls a face. “She’s ancient.”
Willa’s hands are still roaming Finn’s skin as she laughs, but her exploring is more languid and curious now than the urgency of earlier.
Finn smiles into Willa’s shoulder. How could she have shied from this with Willa? It’s all too perfect and hot and right. She already wants it to be next time they are alone together like this. “We should probably get up,” she says with a sigh. “Before Mum comes looking for us.”
“Okay,” Willa says, but doesn’t move. “We can ask her about second base. Maybe she knows.”
“I dare you.” Finn buries her face in the covers, laughing. “But maybe put your top back on first.”
CHAPTER 62
Willa
That night, over their fish dinner, the adults chat about house prices and taxes and other grown-up boringness. At the other end of the table, Riley and Bella conspire and giggle and sneak food to the dogs, the best of friends now they’re co-survivors of a bloodied fish gutting. Martin and Matteo did manage to catch something after all. Sandwiched between it all, Willa sits quietly, listening to all the conversations roving around her and trading smitten, silly glances with Finn.
They’re eating dessert when Bella starts a chant of, “Mum, Mum, Mum, MUM!” over the adult chatter.
Angela finally drags herself away from the conversation and answers. Bella wants to know is if Riley can stay at their beach house tonight with her. But she needs to know in that way eleven-year-old girls need to know now.
“I don’t mind. Is it okay with you?” Angela asks Willa.
“Of course.” Willa looks at Riley. “You’ll be good?”
Riley just gives her a scornful look and turns to Finn. “Can the dogs come?”
Finn shakes her head. “Sorry. They stay with us, but we can take them out for a walk after dinner, okay?”
“Okay.” She turns and high fives Bella.
Finn sneaks another glance at Willa across the table. And Willa knows exactly what she’s thinking. With Riley gone, maybe they might get some more alone time. And suddenly Willa’s full of memories of what they did this morning. Then she’s thinking covetously of what they yet have to do. A thrill ripples through her. Maybe Finn’s right. Maybe baby steps are better.
~ ~ ~
It’s nearly dark when they get back from their after-dinner beach walk. Willa can’t seem to stay away from that crashing ocean, even when the day turns to cold, and the wind picks up to a hurtling speed. She still has to take one final stride down that stretch of sand to watch the water roll in hard and fast before she’s satisfied.
Finn pauses at the top of the steps, staring at the kitchen window. Her parents are inside, talking by the kitchen counter. Willa stops behind her, quiet, letting Finn examine this moment between them. She’s already noticed how much time Finn spends keeping an uneasy eye on them, as if she’s trying to gather cues. Poor Finn. All she wants to know is what’s going to happen.
“How do they seem to you?” Finn suddenly asks. “My parents.”
“Honestly?”
“Of course, honestly.”
Willa slides an arm around Finn’s waist. “Well, I’m not exactly the person to ask about normal parental behaviour, but…” She hesitates, not wanting to get Finn’s hopes up. What if she’s wrong?
Finn shifts impatiently in her arms. “But what?”
“They seem like a typical married couple to me. If I didn’t know anything, I’d think everything was completely fine between them.”
“Me too. That’s what’s so confusing.”
“Do you think they’re going to be okay?”
“I don’t know.” Finn watches her father laugh at something her mother says as he pulls milk from the fridge. “They’re not sharing a room this time.” She turns to Willa and blushes. “I checked last night. I couldn’t help it. I don’t know if it’s because other people are here or if last time it was just a sex thing…” She pulls a face. “I don’t want to think about my parents having sex, but I’d rather they were in the same bed, you know?” She pushes her face into Willa’s shoulder. “I just wish they’d make up their mind either way. I’m so sick of everything just hanging.”
“I know you are.” Willa squeezes her hard.
“Hi there,” Martin says as they shuffle through the sliding door. “We’re about to watch a documentary about that guy who sailed around the world twice without stopping. You two interested?”
“Not even a little bit,” Finn says. “Once is crazy, twice is just weird.”
Willa smiles. She would have watched it to be polite, of course.
“We’re going to watch something on my computer probably.” Finn turns to Willa. “Let’s watch a really great terrible movie, okay?”
“Okay.”
“What exactly is a really great terrible movie?” Anita frowns.
“If you don’t know, I can’t explain,” Finn tells her.
“I hate it when you say that.”
Finn just grins and pats her shoulder.
Anita rolls her eyes and flicks on the kettle. “Who wants tea? Willa?”
“No, thank you,” Willa says in her politest voice. She catches Finn’s look and presses her lips together. She trying to loosen up around Finn’s parents, but it’s hard. There’s something about their effortless warmth that makes Willa feel stiff and awkward. She can’t help it.
“Come on.” Finn grabs Willa’s hand. “Let’s go up and pick something.”
“I’ll come get you for sweets later, okay?” Anita tells her.
“Okay.”
They climb the stairs. Finn squeezes her hand. “Once again, that’s her saying she’ll be checking on us,” she whispers.
Willa smiles. “Already decoded that one.”
Finn laughs and holds up her finger. “And…wait for it.”
“Door open, please,” Anita calls up the stairs.
“See?” She giggles. “I know all her moves before she does.”
They climb onto Finn’s bed and set up the laptop. Finn leans into Willa, snuggling as they flick through the possibilities.
“We probably better behave ourselves, with those two up,” Finn says.
“I know,” Willa says with a grin. “That’s cool. I’m capable of hanging out with you without randomly stripping off. It’s you we’ve got to worry about.”
CHAPTER 63
Finn
The weekend is nearly over. Finn stares sadly out at the overcast sky. At least the weather is making it a little easier to leave.
They’re on the front steps, bags packed. Her parents are having a final coffee with Angela and Matteo at their place, while Riley and Bella carve their last cartwheels into the wind on the beach. Next to her, Willa’s doing her Japanese homework, her pencil making small marks on the slab of text.
School feels so far away, even after these few snatched days. Finn can’t believe there’s only three more weeks until it’s over for the year. And a week until she knows if she’ll be school captain or not. Her stomach does this small flip-flop. It’s going to be either her or Zehra. It has to be. It’s only a matter of which way it will go, captain and vice captain.
When Finn thinks of Zehra, the stomach feeling gets worse. And she knows it won’t go away. Because it isn’t fair, what happened with the principal, and it definitely isn’t fair that Zehra’s feeling bad about it. The only thing Finn doesn’t know is what she should do about it. Or if she should.
“Can I ask you something?” Finn hears herself saying.
“Of course.”
Willa listens, cheek on hand, as Finn tells her about Zehra and her Speech Night save. Then she tells her about the principal and the look on Zehra’s face as he named Finn in his thanks and not her.
“I feel so bad about it,” she says. “Especially since she was the one who got Naila to come. While I was fast asleep.”
Willa hugs her book to her chest and shrugs. “But that�
��s just how it is sometimes? The teachers have no idea what happens behind the scenes. It’s like politics. Everyone claps the big guy, while all the little guys work just as hard.”
“But it’s not fair.”
“I know,” Willa says. “I’ve gone to two out of three achingly dull curriculum meetings for Stella already, and at the end of the year, she’s the one who’ll get the certificate. Because she’s the senior, and I was just a servant fill-in.”
“That’s sucks.”
“I know. But like I said, it’s just the way it is. I’ll get the kudos when I’m senior academic leader.”
Finn frowns. But what if Zehra’s never school captain? Does that mean she’ll never be acknowledged? That would suck. Especially when she works so hard and wants everything so badly. More than Finn, maybe.
“Do you think I should do something?” she asks Willa.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Tell someone?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well what would you do?” Finn asks.
“Me? Nothing. I mean it’s not like he only named you. He thanked you and everyone else. He can’t acknowledge everyone by name.”
“I guess.” Finn frowns.
“But do you know what?” Willa turns to her, smiling.
“What?”
“You wouldn’t do what I do.” She clasps her hands around Finn’s arm. “You do what you do. That’s what I love so much about us.”
Finn’s smile turns to a frown. “But what do I do?”
“You know.”
“I do?”
“Yep. You do.”
“Gee, thanks for the help, Ms Cryptic Crossword.”
Willa just smiles beatifically, kisses her cheek, and goes back to her homework.
Finn rests her cheek against Willa’s shoulder and forces it all to the back of her mind. Because right now she wants to stay snug in the final embers of goodness that was this weekend.
CHAPTER 64
Willa
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