“Though part of me worries about how he will get along out there. He shall need all his wits to survive outside this sheltered place! Peter is different, and I know his mettle must be harder to stand in the face of those who will doubt him. Or do you think it best we keep him looked after on our land, toiling for meager wages like our family has done so long?”
Eamon looked upon Mary with a conviction born of witnessing an endless cycle of limited opportunity. A man who had seen generations of his father and fathers before him shackled to the raw earth for bare sustenance. He was a man who yearned for more but could not seek, due to practicalities of the day.
Resolve ignited like loamy peat which burned in the smoky hearth of their modest house. He would not stand in the way if chance showed its face to improve their lot. Now, in his daughter’s proud moment, he would supply the vital support she needed to make a good decision.
Eamon drew closer to Mary, placing a caring hand on her shoulder. “Daughter, I’ve walked this little patch too long to know it wields little more than just enough. And your mother would only be too proud to see her grandson avail of everything he can be. You must give him a future with some measure of promise.
“If nothing else, we can give Peter an opportunity that eluded us in our time. If he’s to have a chance in this world, we have to furnish him with tools for surviving on his wits. In other words Mary, Peter Harvey is a new direction for our family. He is the candle to light a new trail out of this hinterland we now call home.
“Generations of Harveys made many payments to secure a future for all those ahead. With the presence of my grandson Peter it seems worth all that effort. I’m so proud of you, seeing how you’ve raised him into a fine young man! He’ll be more than equal to the challenge outside these narrow fields!”
Mary had her beliefs confirmed in the most emphatic words Eamon could muster. She needed to let Peter seek his future away from Kilmarnie’s coddled confines. She grasped hold of her father in an endearing embrace. Soon Eamon whispered softly to Mary as they held each other.
“May there be no toil too great to tear our dear Peter asunder.”
At that point it was Mary’s turn to recall a fond memory of Mallory. “Father, do you remember the song mother used to sing when she hung wash outside? It’s odd how it comes to me now! Though even as a child, it gave me such comfort.”
“Of course I do! Her voice still rings in my ears with those sweet words. Do you remember how it went?”
Mary brought her voice to a lulling flow as the nostalgic verses rolled by rote.
“It’s funny, how the time flows
When the day seems half past old
And when the daybreak sky turns to dreams
In my weary arms
“Though it is lovely, when I can see
All the hope that surrounds me now
There’s no wishing much more than this
In my caring arms
“Tell me nothing, if I go
Where a laugh is heard no more
Can’t make for nothing, if it’s gone
From these loving arms”
A solitary tear drifted from Eamon’s eye while a knowing smile cropped his mouth. He was so pleased to hear the melody once again. Yet he could never express how the void of losing her still pained his torn heart. With one weathered arm over her shoulder, they went back inside.
Time came fast to collect its wages of incremental change. Creasing lines gathered upon the once strong features of Eamon’s aging visage. As for Mary, she was past the prospects of catching attention from some sturdy young man. Though still possessed of appreciable looks, she would now be classified as a spinster in common parlance.
Then there was Peter. The orphaned babe had grown from tender abandoned into a young adult. It felt like only yesterday that Mary watched with worried wonder as her young Peter began his first day of school. Now he was preparing for graduation, having gained much in stature and confidence. On the eve of such a momentous occasion, Mary made it her priority to have a talk with her son.
One crisp spring evening she found Peter near Eamon’s garden. He seemed lost in thought as she approached him.
“So this is where you are,” she smiled. “I hope I’m not interrupting you from anything?”
Peter stirred from his position to look in her direction. “No mother, just collecting some thoughts after finishing my studies for the day.”
“That’s good to hear. You know, there is something I wanted to talk with you about.”
Peter looked quizzically at her. “Is there something the matter?”
Mary smiled again. “No Peter, everything is as good as can be at the moment. In fact, there will soon be much to celebrate with your coming graduation. You must be so excited about it!”
“Yes mother, my classmates and I have been waiting for it to happen. Unfortunately, it brings some sad moments. Like some of the lads whom will be going abroad with their families. It seems their parents cannot afford to live so tight any longer. And of those who remain, this will be the end of education for most.
“I know that sounds trite, considering most our age never had the opportunity to go this far. Rarer still are my mates that will be heading off to university. I can count them on one hand.”
Mary was surprised at his last statement, figuring Peter would be one to try for further education as well. Given his abilities, surely the thought had crossed his mind?
“As for you Peter, where do you see yourself amongst the outcomes of your friends?”
Peter turned his face away, as if to catch sight of a night star in the crisp dark sky. He then faced Mary with a sympathetic expression.
“You know the headmaster at our school, Mr. Cleary?” Mary nodded her recognition. Mr. Cleary was a disciplined man who was firm with his pupils. On the other hand, he allowed them to think of their potential outside of current confines. In her view, broader Irish society needed more men like him.
Peter continued on. “Well, he came to me the other day and wanted to talk. I was not in any bother, quite the opposite in fact. We had a long chat about life and the future. I could go further, but it all seemed to revolve around that. And of course, he eventually related our discussion to me and what my aspirations were.
“Of course I would like to further my studies. But I know our circumstances will not allow that. Nevertheless, I would not mention such to him. Instead, I told him how I planned to find some work in this area for the next while and sort through my next steps. In the end he expressed his understanding, but I could tell that sparkle in his eyes was lost to me.”
“So Peter, you’re saying to me you want to pursue your studies if there was means to do so?”
“Yes mother, though when I think about it, I could take up some vocation and save my earnings for tuition. Then I could apply a few years later on.”
Mary knew of a similar plan once before. About a young adult who loved their scholarly pursuit. They dreamt of a progressive life beyond the grey boarders of Kilmarnie and a taste of greater society. Upon graduation, they knew resources were scarce. Therefore they planned a few years of thrift and hard labor to secure financing for tuition. They had scarcely begun when their mother fell gravely ill.
As an only child, their attention dramatically shifted to the household. As often in these times, there was no recovery from the vicious malady that scourged their mother for an eternity of ten months. In the course of this dire event, an irreplaceable mother named Mallory was lost, and Mary’s plans for higher education dashed completely. She resolved to use every fiber of strength not to have this tragic tale repeated.
“Peter, I appreciate you know we’re not of great means. Regardless, we’re never short of ideas. We still have time before your graduation. As your grandfather says, hope is free. And you can never have enough of it. I will try everything to
make this happen. Believe me.”
Peter came to Mary and gave her the warmest embrace of profound love. This fed further his mother’s resolve to make Peter’s wishes a reality. Knowing she already had her father’s support, Mary determined to speak with him straight away on the matter.
On the dawn of that very next morning, Mary prepared to speak with Eamon. She spent last night thinking about possibilities which could aid her in securing funds for Peter. By morning she had precious few courses of action. Mary went to find her father for the first of them.
Eamon as usual was toiling away in his treasured garden. He spotted Mary coming towards him and waved.
“Good morning Mary. When springtime arrives, I must be the easiest person to track down in all Kilmarnie!”
“Perhaps you are! I need to ask you something important. It’s about Peter.”
“Peter? He seems to be doing okay the last I spoke with him.”
“No, he’s fine. But remember when we spoke a while back about his future in Kilmarnie? We both agreed he should not be limited to opportunities in the area. Well, he certainly does have aspirations outside of town! Though he knows we don’t have the monies to pay for university. So here I am to put our heads together for a solution.”
Eamon put down the trowel and dusted off his hands. He then placed them on his hips, momentarily lost in quiet contemplation. Coming closer to Mary, he responded to her plea.
“Well Mary, there’s something you should know. On the day we had that conversation, I myself was wondering about Peter’s future. I mean, he’s at a crucial stage in his life. And Peter’s talent with learning is matched by his mother. Yes, not a day goes by I don’t remember the sacrifice you made for me and your mother!
“When your mother passed she had a small plot of land in her home county. It was an inheritance from relations you see. Well, I managed to sell that on to a farmer in the area shortly after she passed on. I was keeping it a surprise for you until my days were done. Probably will fall short of his needs, but will come well close. It’s your money Mary; so it’s your choice to make.”
An astonished Mary stood slack jawed. Her father never hinted at the existence of this sum. Soon, surprise was overtaken with joy. Peter’s tuition was closer to being met than she first realized.
“Eamon Harvey, you have a knack for saving the day!” Mary ran towards him, planting a loving kiss on his left cheek. “If I said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. I thank you da for everything.”
Eamon held back a welling tear. “Always welcome Mary. Now remember there will be a shortfall which must be breached if we’re to accomplish this goal. After these savings I am totally without means.
“It’s a shame the school could not provide some sort of scholarship to aid ones desiring further education. Alas, in these days it’s struggle enough to put a meal on the table. Higher education is a luxury which perhaps cannot be afforded.”
Mary dwelled on Eamon’s last words. Her subconscious would not let go of something he just said, as if it contained a phrase of special significance. And it continued to hinder her for a few moments more.
Then her sharp wit seized upon the answer to this nagging riddle. If there was no scholarship to be had, why not ask the scholar for other avenues to pursue? Did not Peter talk about concerns Mr. Cleary had for his future? Could that be where the answer lay in her quest?
Mary knew full well this would be a bold action, and certainly out of the ordinary. But she had promised her only child to exhaust every option to make his one wish a reality. Throughout his years, Peter had never been a burden to the family. In fact, he always asked where his assistance was required. Therefore, Peter deserved on merit alone to have this one wish granted.
At that point she determined to visit the schoolhouse following today’s classes. Eamon could welcome Peter home in the afternoon. In her mind, securing Peter’s continuing education was the prime priority.
Overhead, the brooding sky painted a somber scene as Mary walked to a solitary stone building called Kilmarnie Schoolhouse. She soon caught herself harkening back to days when this journey was a pleasant passport to good friends and teachings of wonder. Where eager young pupils could ponder the untold promise of their future, thinking how their latent potential could be realized.
Yes, Mary still treasured fleeting perspectives of a life unlived. Nevertheless, reality dictated for most of her peers that real world challenges thwart youthful ambitions. Cruelly, most of these obstructions were born through the regular hardships of survival. Unfortunately, in light of practicalities, schoolchildren’s’ desires had no chance.
When Mary came upon the familiar front steps, she was amused by how this same exterior continued to hold its ageless facade. Yet those faces she remembered passing through its threshold were long gone. It was as if this edifice fed on the vitality of young minds, spitting them into a hard world after years of solid feast.
Its bargain was simple enough; I will teach you all you can hold in exchange for youthful vigor. It was pleasant while it lasted, though in the end the edifice would always enjoy a new feast each year. It did not care to remember the details of each individual who entered its belly. Only that its body remain full, its vitality always fed with young promise. And forever the bargain would be unchanged.
Mary went down the old corridor until she came upon a room for Mr. Cleary. Relative still in the hallways indicated most students had already left the premises.
She paused outside the door to steel her courage. Pride was too high a price to pay; the hour was worth far more than petty emotions. With one firm fist, Mary gave two taps on the door. An audible stirring from inside indicated the classroom was not empty.
When the entrance opened, Mary faced Donal Cleary. Suddenly she realized how much time had passed since she last laid eyes upon him. It struck her as unusual why he remained a single man. He still possessed an outdoorsman’s build, complemented by striking facial features.
“My word, if it isn’t Mary Harvey! It’s so good to see you. Please come in.” Donal motioned to an empty chair by his desk, pulling his in turn to face her. “It must have been at least a year since we last spoke. How are you Mary?”
“Keeping well Donal, thanks for asking. You know how it is out there. Father, Peter and I do what we can to get along. In the end, we have each other and a good roof over our heads. Considering all that is happening it seems well enough in these times. And how are things with you?”
“Teaching and learning, doing and understanding. I know it’s my profession, though it’s in my very bones. Educating takes my waking hours and evening thoughts. It feels like that has been my routine since time immemorial. I’m sorry for my digression Mary. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”
Mary straightened her back and put forward the situation at hand. “Donal, let me begin by saying these walls have not seen my presence for a long while, though my feelings for it have never changed.
“During my time here I was told I held great promise if I cared to move on with my studies. And believe me, my desire matched those opinions! In the end, my ma took ill, and it turned rapidly worse. I was caught in the random vice of circumstances. There was no desirable outcome for me.”
Donal shook his head in understanding. “I remember hearing about your plight from an old master at our school. My emotions were overcome with the unfairness of such an unfortunate twist of fate. So today you decided to look around for remembering fonder days?”
Mary flashed a quick smile. “No Donal, there is more. I came to see you specifically. I understand you had a long conversation with Peter recently?”
“So I did. Your son is quite an exceptional student. I made sure he fully understood that fact. It is rare enough to have the pleasure of nurturing a mind so capable! I understand he wants to take some time to think things through after graduation?”
“There’s the crux of my dilemma Donal,” replied a concerned Mary. “You must excuse me for being so forward, but may I be perfectly clear?”
Donal leaned forward in expectation. “Of course you can Mary. Pray tell what has started your worries to gather?” His warm turn of phrase emboldened her to reveal the complete situation.
“It’s this way Donal. When Peter was speaking with you he wanted to save face, because we could not afford to further his education. We live a good life compared to tenants, and our cupboards are never bare. Still, there is no room for even a little more, if you follow my meaning. University tuition is a luxury we simply could not afford. Or so I thought.
“Then as I brought it up with da, he told me about a small sum squirreled away for my use. Much to my surprise, this money made Peter's future education more of a reality! But after doing the sums, I realized we would still be short of what was required.
“With no other means available, I had the idea of coming to another person that held an interest in my son continuing on. So now I want to pick your brain for options that could make the sums work.”
Donal cleared his throat, giving his chin a gentle stroke. “Well Mary, as you can well imagine this is all news to me. I must admit his response struck me as odd. Let me ask you then; are you open to any option which could help fund the difference? And how much are we talking about exactly?”
Mary proffered a worn piece of paper which held her calculations. Donal promptly took it from her, studying the contents for a few moments before responding.
“As you know Mary these continue to be restrained times. Many of our countrymen left years ago during The Great Famine for new worlds in America and Australia to start over. As for those hit by starvation from blight, they had no chance even for that! And here we are in 1859, with starvation and eviction still happening daily throughout the land.
“Most would say in light of all this that spare monies would have better purpose paying the rents of stricken families. Or perhaps be used to buy foods for the needy in a nobler endeavor. Do you understand my point Mary?”
The Watchman's Grace Page 27