by Mandy Harbin
"Better high class than lot lizard."
"Same difference." I sighed as she scrunched my hair. "I can't do this." It was too dangerous to go out in public looking like this. I was inviting danger. Might as well run around screaming, "Rape me!"
"You can and you will. I already let you talk me into driving us so we could bail early. I agreed. We're going. You can't just stand him up." Yeah, I'd begged her to be a designated driver, not that I planned on getting wasted. It hadn't been my finest moment, but at the time I hadn't been above groveling.
"I told you it's not a date. I'm hanging out with friends, which means I'm entirely overdressed." Or entirely underdressed depending on perspective.
"It's a bar, Liv. Girl code states going out to bars is a free pass to dress like a slut. It's like Halloween without the gore."
"Or Easter Sunday without the chastity?" I said dryly.
She smirked. "However you wanna look at it, girl. Either way, your ass is getting in my car and going out with me. Besides, it'll be good practice for you. The fraternity council organizes an annual party among all the fraternities on campus, and it's at the end of this month. The fundraiser was nothing compared to what that party will be. It's like our own Mardi Gras."
"Ugh, I've seen those signs promoting drunken debauchery. No thanks." That would be way too many irresponsible people together at the same time. The streets between the fraternity houses were even going to be closed, with parties going on inside the houses, too. That was a very good indication I should stay the hell away from that mess.
"We'll worry about that later. Right now, the bar is smaller and easily doable. Plus, I already told Gabe I was going. I'm sure he's going to show up. We. Are. Going," said with a stern look.
I cringed. She and I had talked about him, but she hadn't seen things my way. I couldn't blame her since it wasn't like I could give her specific reasons. I wasn't going to break Kill's trust. The best I could come up with was Kill obviously didn't get along with Gabe, and Kill was my friend. Yeah, that hadn't been enough for her.
"You know Kill doesn't like him."
She arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "And? Kill's not my boyfriend. He's yours."
I glared at her. "That's not funny. Don't say crap like that in front of him." The whole harmless flirting comment had stayed with me after he'd let those sexual remarks slip. I'd been shocked by what he said, but he hadn't done anything to make me uncomfortable. In fact, if anything I'd been curious. Curiosity was a dangerous thing. It got you in trouble.
It got you killed.
But harmless flirting sounded so...innocent.
"Oh please, Liv. Ever since he got your number after being late that night you two have been texting each other like crazy. You've seen him several times outside of class for tutoring sessions. I know you like him."
I wasn't going to admit that to her. Yes, I liked him. He was very attractive, but over the last couple of weeks, we'd gotten to know each other a little, and I liked who he was on the inside more than on the outside. But just because I liked him didn't mean I'd ever get involved with him. He was my friend, and I needed his friendship. Being around him had helped me so much. It was nice to be comfortable around a man for the first time in my life. Besides, "Boyfriends equal sex. I'm not sleeping with him." I just might engage in a little harmless flirting is all.
"Then you're right. You're not practically dating. You're practically married. Couples who date screw like mad. Couples who are hitched don't. Or so I've heard." She shrugged with a smile and stepped away from the mirror, leaving only my whored-up self in the reflection. "Now for the shoes." I turned back and she'd pulled out some red, death-trap looking things.
"Oh hell," I muttered. "I guess my Sperry's are out?"
She stared, obviously realizing my question was unworthy of a verbal answer. "Put these on. Your feet will hurt since you're not used to them, but they are perfect."
My head started shaking. "No. No! No to all of it." I jumped up from the stool of primping torture and faced her. "This is not who I am. I refuse to go out looking like something I'm not."
Jewel’s shoulders slumped. "I'm only trying to help. You're a pretty woman. There's nothing wrong with wearing a little lipstick and fixing your hair."
"But that's not all. The clothes and shoes are too much. I can't do this! I'm gonna call and cancel." I made a beeline for my cell to text Killian, but Jewel lunged and grabbed my arm.
"Hold on! Take a deep breath." Breathing wasn't the problem right now, I was breathing so much I was about to hyperventilate. "Maybe I went a little overboard. Let's think about what you'll need to feel comfortable going out."
I already knew the answer to that... not going.
"Work with me here, Liv. We'll find something to accentuate who you are without making you feel like you're pretending to be someone else." She pulled me to her closet and scraped hangers across the rod quickly as she scanned the contents. "How 'bout this?" She pulled out a black skirt that was a few inches longer than the one I had on.
"I-I guess that's better."
She nodded slowly then yanked it off the hanger. She stepped over to my closet, scanned its contents, and pulled out a pair of black riding boots with some chains around the ankle I'd gotten for Christmas one year. I'd only worn them a few times. They were comfortable, but not like tennis shoes. She didn't ask me what I thought about them, just grabbed them and went back to her closet. At least they were better than the shoes she'd pulled out earlier. Next came a sheer, loose white blouse, hot-pink tank, and some silver belts.
"Okay. We've got a longer skirt, hot-pink cami that matches the shade in your hair, shoes without heels, and..." She walked over to her dresser, rummaged around, and pulled out black stockings. "Tights with a rose pattern on them. The belts will jazz it up. Get changed and let's see what we have now."
I grumbled, but as I got dressed, I did feel better. I wasn't on display, which was a vast improvement as far as I was concerned. I turned to Jewel and shrugged, waiting for her thoughts.
She smiled. "I like it. You're covered up but still a sexy version of you. We'll need to change your lip color from red to pink, but then I think you'll be perfect. What do you think?"
I turned to the mirror with a discerning eye. I was still dressed in something beyond my normal comfort level, but at least I didn't look fake. And more importantly, I wasn't uncomfortable. Not as relaxing as jeans and tennis shoes, but reasonably doable for a night out at the bar. "It's better."
"No, Liv. It's perfect. Killian is going to salivate when he sees you."
I glared at her. "You are not going to try to fix me up with him. He is my friend. Friend. That's it."
The smile on her face made me nervous all over again. "Oh, I'm not fixing you up with Killian. Tonight is about every other man in that bar but him. He gets to watch from the sidelines while guys line up for you. And he's going to hate every second of it."
I shut my eyes as I finally realized her little plan. She wanted to make Killian jealous. Great, he wasn't the only one who was going to hate every second of this night.
* * *
"Quit being a baby! I let you change your clothes, now get your butt out of that car right this instant," Jewel said, looking down at me as she stood with the passenger door open, waiting for me to comply. It wasn't that I didn't want to. My legs had just forgotten how to move.
"I don't know if I can. Really." This was madness. I thought the fundraiser was a mistake once I'd gotten there. I knew this night was. It wasn't a college social gathering. It was a bar, with alcohol, loud music, and dancing.
She sighed. "Look, we'll do this thirty minutes at a time. Give me thirty minutes to get you into the bar, seated at a booth, and a drink in your hand. We'll worry about the next thirty minutes after that. It'll be easier with a little liquid courage. Can you give me just those initial minutes, please?"
I took a deep breath and nodded before putting my hand on the door and forcing myself to stan
d. "Sorry. I'm really trying." She had no idea how much. After freaking out about my clothes, I'd given myself a little pep talk. I wanted to come out and see how people my age lived. I knew my life wasn't the norm, but I hid within it. If I wanted to branch out and be comfortable around people, I needed to do this. I'd be finished with college in a year. Then what? I couldn't live at home with my mom forever. I wanted to get a job my sister would've been proud of. I couldn't do that if going out to a bar with people who were safe wasn't even possible for me to accomplish.
"That a girl." She wrapped her arm around mine, nudged the door shut with her hip, and pulled me along with her to the front entrance. I barely registered when she dug in her purse and pulled out some money and our I.D.s. She'd confiscated mine before we left the room. Within minutes I was pushed into a booth, and she sat beside me. I was effectively trapped.
"I need a drink."
"I'm on it."
She started to get up, but I grabbed her. "Make sure you watch them make it and don't lose sight of it. Better yet, just get me a beer and watch him open it."
"A beer isn't going to be strong enough. You gonna be okay while I go get you a drink?"
I shook my head quickly without saying anything. I didn't think I'd be able to flee even if I wanted to. Which I did.
"Okay, okay." She settled back in, clicked on her phone, and then looked at me. "Gabe's not here. He had dinner with his mom tonight, but he's on his way. Let me try Killian." She tapped on it again, smiled without looking at me, and typed something else before setting it down and flashing her gaze my way. "He's here. I told him where we were sitting, and he's on his way over. Take a deep breath and try not to look constipated." I did as she asked—though I did not look constipated—and it helped slightly. She jumped up though, startling me. I jerked my head in her direction. "I see him. I'm going to get your drink. Act natural."
"I thought he was going to—"
She walked off before I could finish.
But that didn't matter once I saw Killian. Oh my god, he was incredibly hot.
Not that I was staring.
Much.
When he saw me, his steps faltered slightly, and his eyes popped. He licked his lips and continued his trek toward me. He stopped by the bench were I was at, but didn't sit. Just stared.
"Wow, firecracker." He must've said it softly because I barely heard him. I saw his lips though. He'd called me that word again—firecracker. I wasn't sure why he'd started that, but I kinda liked it. It was personal without being creepy for me, unlike the term he'd used the first day we met.
"Jewel..." What? I wanted to say she'd done this to me. That sounded too much like an accusation, and the reality was the second version of tonight's outfit wasn't so bad. "Um, she helped me." I waved my hand down and followed along with my gaze. I silently cursed when I saw the few buttons undone at the top of the blouse to show the pink tank underneath...and my cleavage.
He slowly slid into the booth, not taking his eyes off mine. "You look beautiful. I mean you're beautiful anyway, but yeah, you look nice."
"You do too." He had on jeans, but his dress shirt was only tucked in the front with the sleeves rolled up. He definitely had the sexy, relaxed look going on. Oh god, and he was wearing cologne. That was different. He'd never worn it before. He smelled good anyway, but this cologne was like a stake to the heart.
He reached out slowly, his hand going for my hair. Or the side of my neck. I wasn't sure. When I saw Jewel through my peripheral vision walk up to our table, I still refused to take my gaze off him.
"I bring drinks," she said as she slid into the bench across from us. Killian yanked his hand away and turned to face Jewel.
"That was fast," he said as he rubbed his hands on his knees.
She smiled slowly at him. "You don't have to wait when the bartender thinks you're hot." She pushed a bottle toward him. "Here's your beer." Then she slid a short glass in front of me. "And your cocktail."
"What is it?" I asked, picking it up and sniffing.
"It's a daiquiri. It's meant to be swallowed, not sniffed." She cut her gaze to Killian. "I see I'm going to have my work cut out for me if I have to give step-by-step instructions on drinking," she said with a wink and then looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I nodded slowly and lifted the cup to my mouth. It tasted like strawberry punch.
I took another drink.
"Good. Now when you get that one down, you can come with me to order the next one."
"Um, I can get her another drink when she's ready," Killian said casually.
"That's sweet of you, Killian, but Dex is behind the bar and saw us come in." She looked at me and wagged her eyebrows. "He wants to meet you. That drink was on him." She pointed to the glass in my hand, and I gaped at her.
"I don't know. I mean—ow!" A very pointy toe had just landed against my shin. I glared at Jewel and she threw the look right back at me. "Bitch," I muttered.
"So drink up," Jewel said and picked up her own drink to swig.
Killian crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the seat. When he did, his leg brushed against mine...and stayed there.
"Let me get this straight. You're turning my night out with friends into a night to pick up guys?" he asked Jewel.
I had to hand it to her, she looked miffed at the suggestion even though he'd been right. Or so Jewel believed. No way was I going to pick up a guy. The idea was so far beyond absurd that the word didn't even do the idea justice.
"Hey, you were the one who said Liv needed to get out more. I agree."
"I'm right here, you two." I took another drink of my beverage. My toes were already starting to tingle.
"But that doesn't mean she needs to be pawed by a bunch of strangers. Crowds make her uncomfortable," he barked, ignoring me.
I downed a big swallow.
"And this will help her get over that. You of all people know what guys are after at a bar on Saturday night. Why are you sugarcoating it for her?"
"Well, I'm out of my drink, Jewel," I said quickly to stop this discussion before it escalated. I scooted closer to Killian in hopes he'd get the idea to let me out.
He didn't. Or he did but didn't care. He looked down at me without budging, his blue eyes like ice. "If you want a drink, I'll come with you."
"Back off, Kill," Jewel snapped.
"I'll be fine," I whispered to him. "We'll be right back. You want something?"
His jaw worked as he stared at me, but finally he shut his eyes and sighed. "Sorry," he muttered and scooted out.
I stood up and looked at him. "Want a drink?"
He shook he head. "I still have my beer."
Right. I nodded and stepped away, Jewel quickly following until she caught up. "Oh my gosh, he's watching you like a hawk! I've never seen him act this way about a girl before. I think he's finally met his match in you. Keep playing hard to get; it's so working for you."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not playing anything." But the thought of him liking me like that made my tummy flip flop. I stepped up to the bar. The bartender smiled down at me and I glanced at his name tag. "Mike?" I thought Jewel had said his name was Dex?
"Yep, what can I get ya?"
"We'll have two daiquiris," Jewel said quickly. When he stepped away, she looked at me. "Dex is the blond one over there." I looked to where she pointed.
"Wow," I breathed. He was big like Killian, but where Kill had the body of the devil, this dude was like an angel from God.
"I know, right. I would so dip my nuggets in his awesome sauce."
I giggled at that mental image. "Whoa." My head felt a little light.
"You're already getting a buzz. Good. We just need to maintain it without getting you wasted." Her phone beeped and she looked down. "Gabe's parking now. He'll be inside in a minute."
When Mike brought our drinks over, Jewel paid for them and we made our way back to the booth where Killian still was.
Only now he was talking to a le
ggy model perched on the edge of the table. One hand was holding his beer and the other was on her knee. As we got closer, I realized why he was leaning back with his legs spread. The supermodel had kicked off her shoe and was running her foot along the inside of his leg toward his crotch.
Yeah, it really looked like he was carrying a torch for me.
"Are we interrupting anything?" I asked.
Without stopping her foot, she turned a little toward me and said, "Yes."
Killian took his hand off her leg and scooted out. He stood beside me and looked at the woman on the table. As if she got some mental command from him, she stood and pouted. Then she walked away.
He looked at me and gestured for me to sit. I slid onto the bench and forced myself not to fold my arms across my chest. Or stomp my foot. After he sat back down, I looked at him. "Friend of yours?" I asked with exaggerated sweetness.
"You could say that." He took a drink of his beer.
"Someone you've fucked?"
"You could say that."
"I did say that." I put my glass to my mouth and mumbled into my drink before sipping, "Sure do get around a lot."
He slammed his bottle down and I flinched. But surprisingly, I didn't care. He'd startled me, yes, but that was it. Maybe it was the alcohol loosening my normally timid existence. Or maybe I knew he wouldn't really hurt me, no matter how ticked off he got.
"Well, Kill's in a pissy mood, I guess it's a regular Saturday night." I turned to the side and watched as Gabe slid in beside Jewel who'd sat quietly during mine and Killian's little exchange.
Killian stiffened beside me, his knuckles whitening as he tightened his grip on his beer. "Gabe."
I looked at the man of stone beside me, but he was looking between Jewel and Gabe. I'd warned him about Gabe showing up when we were texting each other yesterday, but because of their history I doubt he'd ever be comfortable around his former best friend. He picked up the bottle he had a death grip on and downed it in two large guzzles.