by Mandy Harbin
"He already lives with pain," I said quickly. "He watched his dad kill his mom."
He laughed, the sound borderline hysterical. "I know. I heard all about that. Trust me. I know more than you can possibly imagine."
Of that I had no doubt. "Please don't do this." I knew my words would fall on deaf ears, but I had to try to reason with him, find some humanity in his soulless eyes. "You cared about him once."
His eyes turned red. "Don't. Don't talk to me about what I had with Killian. You'll never understand the bond we shared. The bond he tossed away."
"He was just a kid. You both were. You were too young to understand what was happening."
"You still don't get it, do you?"
I wasn't sure what he was talking about, so I shook my head. It was easier to agree with him than argue at this point.
A bang sounded from above, and I looked at the ceiling.
"He's here," Gabe whispered. "That was faster than I thought." He reached under his shirt and pulled out a gun. "Don't make a sound, or I'll have to kill you too soon and ruin all my fun."
"Please," I begged. I didn't want to die, but even more so I didn't want Killian to have to watch. I didn't want my parents to have to lose another child. I didn't want any more pain for the people I loved. "You don't have to do this."
His gaze cut to mine. "You really are fucking blind, aren't you?"
I wiped my tears away, but covertly looked around the room. I had to figure a way out of here and warn Killian before he walked into a trap. Gabe was emotional, which should make him reckless. That could work one of two ways...either he'd make a mistake and I could take advantage, or he'd make a mistake that cost me my life, or worse—cost Killian his.
"You know, the moment I saw you at the fundraiser, I knew there was something different about you. It wasn't until later that I realized the difference was actually a familiarity. We're both damaged, trapped by our pasts, no way of ever breaking free."
The sad look gave me hope. "That's not true. We can be free if we choose to be." It had been a hard lesson for me to learn, but faced with death, I knew it to be true. For so many years I hadn't felt I deserved to live. I wanted to take Sam's place because my actions had led to her death. But now, I knew I deserved to live. I wanted to. I wanted to experience all life had to offer. The happiness and heartache. The joys and the sorrows. Basking in joy was an amazing experience, and feeling pain meant I was alive to endure it. I wanted it all until I died, which I hoped would be many years from now.
"I'll never be free. You'll never be free. The damage is done," he said woodenly. He looked up at me and sighed. "You ruined everything, you know. You and your sister. I just wanted to get some juice boxes for my friends."
Blood rushed in my ears, and I felt weak. "What are you talking about?" I whispered.
He shook his head. "Quit being so naive."
"No," I breathed. But then why was this house, this wine cellar, so familiar? How would he know to bring me back to a place I'd thought burned that night? Then I felt the blood that had been rushing in my veins fall from my face. "Oh my god."
His smile was sad. "I see you're finally catching on."
"No." I shook my head frantically. "No, no, no. No way. No!" Please god, no.
"Yes. Not fair, is it?"
"Please don't." My body screamed for me to run. I didn't want to face what I knew to be true.
"I can't change the past. You can deny it all you want, but the truth is the man who kidnapped you and your sister was Killian's father."
A painful roar echoed in the room, and I knew in that moment Gabe had been right.
There was no escaping the past.
19
Killian
If my truck went any faster, I'd literally be flying down the interstate. I'd screeched into the parking lot of the coffee shop on campus only to find no traces of Liv. The barista had been working all morning and hadn't seen her or Gabe. That meant either Liv had lied to me about where they were going or she'd been lied to. I never thought I'd hope she'd betray me, but in this, I prayed she had. I didn't want to consider the other possibility.
Damn it! Why hadn't Granddad told me everything about my parents? About my sick-as-fuck father? He should've been institutionalized before he had a chance to hurt anyone, much less me. His evil had tainted so many lives, so many more than I'd ever thought.
I yelled at a driver who cut me off and sped around him. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I needed to check the spots Gabe frequented. Maybe he wouldn't do anything to Liv. Maybe he just wanted to scare me.
Or maybe I was losing my mind. That prick was malicious. I just hadn't realized how deep his vileness was.
I drove by the senior dorms and ran in. I asked if anybody had seen him, but no one had. I jogged down to the lobby and pushed the door open.
"Hey, watch it," Dex said as I ran into him.
"Sorry," I muttered. "I'm looking for Gabe. Have you seen him? It's important, man."
"Nah, I haven't seen him. I hope you kick his ass when you find him though. If not, tell me where he is and I'll do it."
That didn't surprise me. Gabe probably had enemies lined up everywhere, but if anybody would be pummeling him it was going to be me. "What’d he do to you?"
"It wasn't me. It was my brother. Borrowed some tools to fix something at his mom's house, but won't give the stuff back. We're headed to the hardware store now to replace some of them that can't wait. Max does construction work on the side with me. He needs those damn tools."
I frowned at him. "When did he borrow them?"
"A few weeks ago. He keeps telling Max he's not finished with them, but the asshat said he only needed them for the weekend."
His mom's house. "Shit! I gotta go." I took off running.
"Save some of him for me," Dex yelled.
If he harmed Liv at all, there wouldn't be anything left of Gabe for Dex.
As soon as I jumped into and started my truck, I threw it in gear and hit the interstate. The miles flew by and steely determination settled in. I’d do whatever I had to in order to protect Liv. My past with Gabe didn't matter. What Granddad had said didn't matter. Not now. Not anymore.
My phone chimed, and I grabbed it, my heart racing. Someone from an unknown number had sent me a text with an address. Gabe. I knew that address well. I was already almost there.
"See u soon," was all I typed back. I didn't want to give him too much information too soon. I needed to get in and assess the situation first.
I tossed the phone down and drove faster. I wove in and out of traffic, ignoring the blaring horns and the flying fingers. Within minutes, I was in the old neighborhood. It looked the same, but not. The houses were older. The cars were newer. I didn't focus on that though. I drove the path I swore I'd never drive again to get to the one woman alive who meant more to me than my own life. I'd drive it for her. I'd do anything for her.
When I pulled up to the house, I growled. It looked the same. That crazy bitch built the exact same house after the last one blew up. Insurance money and time could do a lot of things, but it couldn't change history. I grabbed the keys and got out. I ran to the house in a crouch. I wasn't an idiot. Gabe wanted me here, which meant he could be watching me right now, ready to strike.
The door was unlocked, so I eased in and looked around. It was quiet except for a muffled sound coming from my left. I slowly walked in the direction of the noise, careful not to draw attention to myself just in case he hadn't noticed me entering. As I stepped closer, the sound got louder, but was indistinguishable. It was coming from the couch, which was facing away from me. I peered over the back of it.
"Oh, god. Jewel?" I rushed around the couch. Her ankles and wrists were bound and she had the same material wrapped around her mouth to muffle her. I worked quickly on the knots. I ignored her tears and looked for wounds as I freed her. She had blood on her but not a lot. "What happened?"
"Gabe," she sobbed. "We were supposed to be going for cof
fee. Then he got some text from his mom needing help with something. I didn't think anything about it. But when we got here, Liv freaked out and Gabe..." Her lip trembled.
I rubbed her back. "Go on."
"He hit me. Hard." She turned her head. “I woke up here tied up. I don't know where he's at. Or Liv." She cried. I held her close.
"My truck's outside. Get in it and lock the doors." I handed her the keys. "Don't leave unless you have to. Just stay there until I get out."
She nodded and looked away. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry about. Now go. I have to look for Liv." I stood, pulled her up, and nudged her to the door.
I jogged upstairs and looked around. Gabe's old bedroom was empty, as in completely bare. I guessed he didn't sleep in that room anymore when he came to visit. I checked the other guest rooms and they were empty, too. I frowned. Maybe he didn't stay here at all. I checked the master bedroom, and numbing coldness swamped me. It was lived in, but not by his mother. Gabe's clothes were strewn everywhere. What I couldn't identify as his, I could see were manly effects—deodorant, belts, shoes—nothing in here suggested his mom lived here. This was Gabe's house. Why would he live here alone and what had happened to his mother? I ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. I checked the bathroom, laundry room, halls, and kitchen. They were all void of people. Then a rumbling sound drifted up from below. I looked at the floor and then whirled. The basement door was where it had been before. "Got you," I muttered. The door was ajar, so I squeezed through it as quietly as I could. I heard voices, a male one coming in clearer as I got closer to the bottom door, a door that used to not be there. I put my ear up against it.
"...You can deny it all you want, but the truth is the man who kidnapped you and your sister was Killian's father," I heard Gabe say.
What? No! That was impossible. That lying sack of shit. I yelled as I ran through the door, but something hard landed on my head and darkness crept over me.
Time ceased to exist, for how long I was uncertain. Pain and rage consumed me, battled for supremacy, and I didn't care which one won. Either would fuel me, help me get Liv away. When I opened my eyes, there was no denying the sight before me, or that rage had won. It was no longer within me. It was out, alive, and it wanted revenge. Gabe had a gun to Liv’s head as he stared at me, but that just made the monster angrier, the red haze of fury thicker. Oh yeah, I was an animal about to stalk its prey. I slowly stood.
"Get the fuck away from her." But my mind was reeling. Had it really been my own father who'd destroyed her life? That couldn't be true. I looked at Liv and she was sobbing. I knew then whatever had gone down before I'd gotten here had just driven the truth of his words home. I wanted to howl. Why hadn't Granddad told me about this earlier when he confided the dark secrets? But then, why would he? He hadn't met Liv, didn't know she was the one I was seeing. I roared and grabbed my hair, shaking my head. No, this could not be happening.
"What? I can't have her?" Gabe said with fake shock. "We used to share everything. Since your father kidnapped her and her sister to make us men and one of them died, I should get to fuck her at least. I just wanted you here to watch me take what's mine back from you. After all he told me I got first dibs. I want her, and I want you to hear her screaming my name as I take her."
I snapped, lost all touch with reality. The haze so thick it was blinding. I could see the fear in his eyes now, fear that hadn't been there before. But that didn't matter to me now. There was nothing but pain. There was nothing but red.
There was blood.
Not the slick feel or the metallic smell of it, but I was seeing red. It wasn't the first time I'd been plagued with rage, but it had never hurt like this. I was furious beyond the point of sanity. The pain was crushing, all consuming, and all my screwed-up self wanted to do was bask in it. Allow it to fuel my anger.
I could hear Liv talking to me, but her words did not register. Part of me wanted to blackout again, seek the comfort of complete darkness I'd been enveloped in moments before, right after learning the horrible truth. Even then, it was as if I'd been trying to swim out of the deepest part of the ocean, but somewhere inside me, I'd known if I woke up I would wish I had drowned within its depths instead. The darkness hadn't lasted long enough.
My heart was breaking for her. I swore I'd never let a woman own me, but somehow she'd weaseled her way in. Now, I just wanted to die for her, make this pain go away. "How could you do this?" I breathed.
"I just wanted to be loved."
The grief in that voice wouldn't be accepted. It surged my anger instead, and I fisted my hands.
"Please," Liv pleaded softly. I shut my eyes, blocking out the desire to go to her.
"You don't deserve love," I seethed. Not from me. Never.
"Easy, Kill."
"Don't call me that!" The nickname implied the closeness we'd shared. One we'd never have again. "I don't know you. I never knew you. You are nothing to me. Nothing!" No, there hadn't been blood. But there would be. I pushed the closest shelving unit down and watched it crash to the concrete floor in a pile of dust. I didn't want any obstacles. Death would be swift.
"Killian!" Liv screamed. "Don't. You're better than this."
She didn't know me at all. My rage would not be denied, could not be controlled, and I embraced that, relished in it.
And as I lunged to seek my revenge for this devastating pain, I knew right then there would be no more denying the monster I always knew I truly was.
"I'll shoot her if you come any closer." The gun trembled in his hand.
That stopped me. I didn't want Liv to be hurt. Not anymore. "You're insane," I yelled.
"Why? Because you don't want to accept the truth?"
"And what truth is that, Gabe? Huh? The fact that you're torturing an innocent person or the fact that—"
"She is not innocent," he screamed. "If she and her sister had never come over—"
"You just said my father planned on kidnapping them. Which is it?" I needed him flustered, so I could get closer without him acknowledging it.
"He kidnapped them because they were here. He told me he caught you playing with your dick and wanted to show you what it was really meant for."
"And you thought that was cool?" I asked incredulously. "That I'd rape a girl because my father told me to?" I shook my head. "You're one sick son of a bitch if you thought I'd go along with that."
Gabe drew back and hit Liv with the gun, knocking her down.
I lunged as soon as he looked away, knocking the gun from his hand and tackling him. We struggled until I had him pinned beneath me. I drew back and hit him.
"Want to hear some more truth?" I panted as I struck him. "He wasn't just my father. He was yours!" Smack. "That's why we lived so close together." Crack. "Because he knocked up your mom while mine was pregnant with me." I hurled him up and threw him into another wine rack. It crashed to the floor, breaking bottles and spilling wine. I didn't care. "He played both women. Always promising your mom he'd leave mine and promising my mom that yours was just a piece of ass. An itch he needed to scratch."
Faint sirens grew louder and I looked up at the basement window. My feet suddenly left the floor and I landed on my side as Gabe struggled to get up. I grabbed his ankle, knocking him back to the floor. He tried pulling away from me, but I wasn't going to let him go. If I did, he could get close to Liv. That was unacceptable.
"Watch out!" Liv screamed. Gabe rolled and something flashed in his hands. In our scuffle I'd lost track of the gun. I kicked at him, pushing him away from me, hoping he'd drop it. He fell all right, but instead of away from me, he landed on me. And it wasn't a gun.
It was glass. Glass that was now buried deep within me. The pain I felt morphed into something distinctly sharper.
And there was blood. Just not the blood I'd hoped to spill.
* * *
I was chewing on cotton. That or my tongue had swollen four times its regular size. I tried swallowing,
but that required saliva, which was a scarce commodity right now. Maybe it was both, and my huge tongue was wrapped in cotton. Whatever was going on, this wasn't normal. Neither was the axe banging against my head.
"...Been out for about two hours now."
I started at the sound of the feminine voice, but flinching had been a mistake. "Ouch," I mumbled. Any other verbalization of the pain I was in would take too much energy. I opened one eyelid and peered out. The room was a dull gray color with loud machines beeping. A hospital.
Interesting.
I looked down. Ahh, this would explain the axe in my head, sock in my mouth, and horizontal view of the room. I was in the bed hooked up to the annoying machines. Well, it only explained part of it. How I got in the hospital remained a mystery. I wanted to ask but wasn't sure if I could make my thick tongue move. I looked to the side and saw long hair. "W-what happened?"
A hand touched my sweaty forehead. I shut my eyes, enjoying the cool feel of it. "You had surgery."
What? That didn't make any—
"Gabe." It all came rushing back. The news he was my brother. Rushing to find Liv. Fighting with him to save her. "Liv," I mumbled. Where was she? Was she okay? Did she get away from him? What the hell had happened after he stabbed me?
"She's gone. I'm so sorry."
The grief in that voice produced a sudden pain that shot through me and made me realize I was not completely numb after all. No way could she be gone. Please god no.
I wailed. Hands held me down, tried to at least until someone stuck a needle in my IV. I sobbed as they slowly released me and the room began to spin. She couldn't be gone. "How did he kill her?" I would hunt him down and rip his heart out while he watched. Seemed only fair to take his heart away since he'd taken mine.
She gasped. "Oh crap. That's not what I meant." My eyes fluttered as I fought against the effects of the drugs. They weren't strong enough to knock me out, but I suddenly felt like I weighed a ton. "She's okay. I mean, she's alive. Her mother came and got her. Took her back home." Her eyes watered and she sniffed. "I'm sorry this happened to you. If I hadn't been so stupid to think he liked me for me, maybe I could have seen this coming. I was being stupid, and it traumatized Liv and almost cost you your life."