by Leona Fox
“And now Andy thinks it's the same person. Do you think it could be him?” Ellen said, her voice trembling with fear at the thought that such a monster could have returned from the past. To her relief, May shook her head emphatically.
“No, that man was arrested a few years down the line. He's rotting in a prison somewhere, and yes, I checked quickly when Andy called me last night. More than that, the writing isn't exactly the same. They're similar enough but these letters, they have a different tone to them. I don't blame Andy for being mistaken though, especially with his state of mind at the moment.”
“Do you think you can help him?”
“I did so once before. I'm sure I can again, although I think you'll be more help than me. He'll be okay in a little bit, though. He needs some rest, that's the most important thing.”
“Good luck with that, he's not going to want to sleep until he catches whoever did this. And I don't think I'm going to be that much help. He's barely acknowledging my existence at the moment.”
“But you won't give up on him, that's the important thing. Louise, she saw the path that Andy was going down and it was too intense for her. She didn't have the strength to support him and be there for him. She wanted things to be easy, but it never is when you love someone. She let Andy go and turned her back on him. He was in a bad way, of course, and I don't say this to pass judgment on her, but he needs someone to stay by his side.”
“I'm not going anywhere,” Ellen said through gritted teeth.
“This pleases me. I'm glad he came here, I can see it's done a world of good for him.”
“Until now.”
“Yes, well, like all things, this too shall pass and once we catch the person responsible it will do Andy a world of good.”
“You think we can catch them then?”
“I have every faith in Andy's ability. He was close before you know? If things had gone a little differently he would have saved that boy, but such is life. In our sessions I tried imparting to Andy that the world is chaotic and that he did not have control of all things, especially not other people's actions. Yet he never quite could come to terms with the fact that it was not his fault.”
“I know what you mean,” Ellen said, finding common ground with May.
She now saw that May's initial brusqueness was due to her concern for Andy rather than anything condescending toward Ellen. The two of them continued talking about Andy for a while. Ellen updated May on his time in East Pender while May shared some stories about his time in the city police force. They both shared a deep affection for the man.
While they talked about Andy and tried to think of ways to get him back to his fighting best, the people of East Pender were combing the woods for Scott without much success. In a hidden part of town Scott looked around his surroundings with wide eyes. His hands were bound behind his back and he was tied to a wooden beam. The floor had a layer of dust and dirt around it, and this had transferred to his torn red top. The temperature was uncomfortable and his throat was parched.
“How are you feeling Scott?” A crisp voice said in a clipped accent.
“I-I'm o-okay,” Scott said, trying to stop his voice from trembling.
“Good. You know, I do not want any harm to come to you. This is all for a greater purpose. It is just a necessary process. It's funny, really. I admire curiosity in people. It's the way I always used to be when I was younger. 'Why?' is the greatest question we can ask ourselves. That's where all the great thinkers began their process. ‘Why am I here?’ ‘What have I been put on this Earth to do?’ Sadly, there is no answer to the question, especially not when you're shown there is no order to the world. Why am I here? Why are you here? There is no reason to any of it. We are only here because of our relation to other people. The things that happen to us are a consequence of the actions that we and our fellow men take. You are here because of something that happened a long, long time ago. But do not worry, you will not be harmed,” he said.
Scott didn't say anything in reply, he simply rested against the thick pole and hoped a hero would come save him. Meanwhile, the mysterious man moved to another room and, with a thin smile, began sharpening a knife as he thought about the future and how his plan was coming to fruition.
Chapter 6
The skies were gloomy in the big city some years ago. Heavy clouds hung over the skyscrapers and occasionally let fly a burst of rain that swept over the streets and drenched everyone. Detective Andy was sitting in his office, poring over letters, trying to figure out the mystery that had plagued him and the city for a few weeks. It all started with one letter, just one, which was no different than any of the other prank letters they often received. Then it all had turned into a nightmare. A boy had been taken, and letters had been sent to taunt the police. Of course the press had got a hold of them and printed them, showcasing the police department’s failure to catch this vile person. Now the whole city was railing against the police, and Andy specifically.
The pressure was getting to him. He hadn't slept in days, living off of a diet of coffee, soda, the occasional whiskey, and energy pills, along with some pizza, donuts, and whatever else he could scrounge from the office. Already his superiors had made it clear this case was a PR nightmare and he had to get it solved quickly. He didn't care about that though, he only cared about the child. Louise was hurting, he knew that, and he wished he could have been home with her to be a normal family, a normal husband. Yet how could he rest when he knew that somewhere out there a little boy had been kidnapped and was being held as part of some game? There hadn't even been a ransom demand. Whomever this man was, he seemed to want a challenge, to goad the police into a battle of wits. So far, the police were losing.
Rich, the chief of police, had urged Andy to go see some therapist but he brushed it off. There was no time. Any moment he wasted was one more moment the boy was in danger. Sami Gudjonssen was his name. Andy repeated that name over and over and over again. There had to have been something he was missing, something that would unlock all of this. He couldn't be beaten, because it would mean the loss of Sami's life. At first the kidnapper addressed the police as one homogeneous mass, but as soon as the press leaked Andy's name (Andy knew he would hold a grudge against the press for that until the day he died) the kidnapper had made it personal. Even though Andy didn't want to fall into the trap of playing the kidnapper at his own game it was difficult not to do so. Somehow, in the recesses of his mind, he knew he was slipping, that his judgment was impaired by the stress and insomnia. Yet he couldn't bring himself to stop. He had to keep going, to fight through, for only when the case was over could he rest.
He could see it in all their eyes. None of them believed he could do it. Through his sunken, hollowed eyes he peered at them as they recoiled from him and gave him a look of pity. Even Louise looked at him that way, whereas before she always had looked at him with admiration, respect, and lust. Their sex life, which always had been passionate, was now non-existent. The only person he could talk to was his brother, who always had been a good listener. Who needed a therapist when you had family? It all made sense to Andy. He poured out his heart to his younger brother, telling him over the phone things he could tell nobody else, not even his own fiancé, things such as how he was so afraid of failing and what he might be capable of if he couldn't find this boy.
Little did he know his brother was using it as research for his new book.
There was a point at which it seemed the world was turning against him. Louise stayed with her parents, leaving him a scribbled note of regret. His colleagues tried persuading him to surrender the case to someone more clear-headed. Eventually it seemed as though the only person who took him seriously, the only one who seemed to respect his skills, was the kidnapper. The game and the exchange of letters continued, until eventually a final challenge was laid down. The kidnapper, who knew how fragile Andy's state was given it had been reported by the press (Andy suspected someone in his department had leaked this information
to increase the pressure on him to step down, although he never could prove who it was.), told him he had a chance to redeem himself, to show everyone how wrong they were about him. He could save the boy and catch the criminal and be a hero, he could be the cop he always wanted to be.
Everyone said this was a trap, that Andy shouldn't be lured by the bait. Yet by this time Andy already had lost faith in the advice of those around them, viewing their words with suspicion and dread. The only one who always had been honest with him, at least in his own mind, had been the man writing the letters. The two of them had an almost symbiotic relationship and Andy had become defined by this man. If he caught him then he would be lauded as a hero, if not then the boy would die and Andy wouldn't be able to live with himself. But it was a personal battle, a matter between the two of them and nobody else in the city needed to get involved. Nobody could help Andy. The final letter came in, giving a clue as to the boy’s whereabouts. Andy, in his sleep-deprived state, decided he had solved the puzzle and raced to get to the location. There was a twist, of course. The kidnapper said that if Andy accepted the challenge and didn't get to the location in time then the boy would die.
'I ACCEPT' read the headlines the day after the letter had come in. Somehow everyone in the city expected Andy to win, because that's what happened, good always triumphed over evil. Even Andy, in the depths of his heart, expected he was going to find Sami and bring him back to his family. Then everyone who had doubted him would apologize and know he had done the right thing. The press would issue an apology, the mayor would give him a medal, the chief would give him a promotion and Louise would return to his arms, as happy as ever.
That was all a fantasy. He had burst into the abandoned warehouse, his gun drawn, only to find it empty. In those few horrible moments the terrible truth dawned on him. Somewhere along the way he had missed a vital clue. He raced out of the warehouse and made it back to the police precinct as quickly as he could, but he was too late. He was greeted by haunted faces. Nobody had to say a word for him to know what had happened. He slumped in his chair, took a bottle of whiskey out of his desk drawer and began pouring. He didn't stop.
About a week later he went to the funeral, standing away from the main cluster of people as he didn't want to intrude or steal the limelight from Sami. He saw Sami's family, a mother, father, and brother, and all looking hurt. He had caused this, he bore the burden of responsibility. When the funeral was over he immediately went back to the chief to offer his resignation, which the chief did not accept, much to Andy's surprise. However, counseling was mandatory. So Andy had to go to sessions twice a week with May, and although it took a while she eventually got him talking. Things in his private life were not going well, however. Things with Louise had become strained and it wasn't a surprise when she eventually left him. The job had become too hard. He was stuck on desk duty but in every case he saw Sami. The press had destroyed his name, but now had moved on to other crises, other controversies. They didn't care that Andy was still around, that he still had demons to fight.
The kidnapper was still on the loose and Andy wasn't going to rest until he had been brought to justice. On whiskey-fueled nights he pored over the letters again, still trying to find some clue as to who the man was and where he was located, yet it all was futile. If he wasn't good at his job, then what good was he to anyone? He confided these thoughts to May, and she looked upon his desolate soul with sympathy. Andy saw little hope for the future because the city had become an enemy. Every person he met could have been a monster, and somewhere, hiding in plain sight, was the man who had kidnapped and killed Sami. It drove Andy crazy and eventually his mood became untenable. One day, when he walked into May's office, he knew something was wrong.
“Andy, I have to be honest with you,” she began, “I have been giving updates to the chief but it appears you are not making any progress. You were sent to me so I could try helping you move on from this tragedy. As a cop you will be in these situations again. You need to keep a clear head so you can make the right judgment calls but, in all honesty, I cannot send you back out on the streets because you still are lost in this case. The chief wanted to know when you would be ready to go back on duty but I don't think you are. Indefinite leave is not an option considering the budget. I only can help you so far, and present you with the tools you need to recover, but the hard work is up to you. If you still want to be a cop, if you still want to make a difference, then you're going to have to do the hardest thing you've ever known. You are going to have to work on yourself every day to try getting back to a place where you feel like yourself again. Otherwise, you're going to lose your job and I fear for your psychological state if that happens. We both know you were born to be a cop and anything else is a waste of resources. So I have a proposal for you. I don't think you ever are going to get back to your best while you're still here in the city because it has too many painful reminders. So take a look at this, if you still want a chance at being a cop, of course.” She tossed a file onto the table in front of him.
Andy listened to her with a dull look in his bloodshot eyes. For a moment he considered walking out of the office and turning his back on the life he had built, surrendering his dream of being a cop. If he couldn't save Sami then what good was he? But the need to be a cop was strong, it had been entrenched in his soul since childhood. For something to have been a part of him for so long meant it wasn't easily tossed aside. So he found himself reaching out for the file and opening it. Inside was an application form for the position of chief of police in a small town called East Pender.
“You'll have to clean yourself up to get it, but I think it would be good for you.”
Andy still was looking groggy, yet still was determined to figure out the letters to ensure history did not repeat itself. Ellen and May walked back in to the office to find him alert, still muttering to himself.
“Andy, we need to go now. They've already started the search for the day. We need to be there to help them look,” Ellen said.
“Yes, yes, we'll get there, don't you worry about that. I just need to stay here for a while. I need to look at these letters. There's going to be something hidden in them, I just know it. Just like last time. I just need to look closely and make sure I don't miss anything,” Andy mumbled.
“We don't have time for that!” Ellen yelled.
“The town needs a leader. Andrea needs to see that you're there, working just as hard as everyone else. If the chief of police isn't going to show up, then why is anyone else going to stay there?”
“What I'm doing is more important,” he said, without even moving his eyes to meet hers.
The Andy she was looking for was not there and Ellen threw up her hands in frustration. Thankfully, May was there. She pulled Ellen aside.
“I'll handle this, dear. You go to the search party. I'm sure seeing you there will lift their spirits.”
Ellen looked at her, then looked at Andy, and then she left. May moved closer to Andy, ready to counsel him again.
When Ellen arrived at the base of operations there were just a few people present; everyone else was out searching for Scott. Kelly was helping to direct things, along with the officers. The other emergency services had turned out as well, and the manpower they had was phenomenal. Yet, still there was no sign of Scott or the person who had kidnapped him. Upon Ellen's arrival, Kelly saw she was in a dark cloud and asked what was wrong. Ellen pulled Kelly aside and ranted to her about Andy and how he was so consumed with the old case that he was losing sight of this one, and that she was worried about his state of mind. The words flowed fast and furiously, and by the end of it she was almost out of breath.
“I'm sorry, this isn't appropriate behavior for a maid of honor,” she said with a wry smile. Kelly placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“Maybe not, but if I didn't listen it wouldn't be appropriate behavior for a best friend. But right now I think Andrea needs a friendly ear more than anyone. I've tried talking to her but
I don't want her to think I'm bugging her. Maybe you could go and see how she's doing? You're always better at that sort of stuff than me.”
Ellen nodded and walked over to where Andrea was pacing back and forth, chewing on her nails. She looked about as bad as Andy did and evidently was lacking sleep, although she brightened a little when Ellen appeared. They walked over to a small table and sat down, although Andrea's leg jogged; the poor woman was unable to settle her nerves.
“The longer this goes on the more worried I get,” she said.
“I keep thinking of his little face. He used to come in all the time and tell me all these stories he had made up. He'd collect different things like bits of rocks and stuff. One day I asked him why, and he said it's so that when his dad came back he could take these and remember all the stories. God...I can't even imagine...what will I do if I have to welcome Tony back with news that Scott has died? The only thing that keeps him going is knowing that when he comes back he gets to play with Scott,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes. Ellen was surprised there weren’t any tears left given how much emotional trauma Andrea had suffered during the past couple of days.
“Is it worth it all, motherhood I mean? I see so much stress and worry...”
“Maybe it would have been easier if I never had had Scott, sure, but when he was born he gave my life meaning in a way that I never thought was possible. He's what I love most about this world. He's so happy and curious and, yeah, it's not always been the easiest life but I'd never change it for anything. Not even now. I've been so lucky to see him grow up and...and I just hope I get to see him grow into a man.”
At this she burst into tears and Ellen provided a shoulder for her to rest upon. Andrea wept for a little while, until the inevitable moment came where she inquired about Andy.