Diaries of a Heartbroken Duchess: A Historical Regency Romance Collection

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Diaries of a Heartbroken Duchess: A Historical Regency Romance Collection Page 81

by Hamilton, Hanna


  There was a knock at the door and Amelia entered part way, saying, “Ludlow would like to have a word with you, Robert.”

  He looked up, annoyed. “Tell him I am busy.”

  “He says it is important and urgent.”

  Robert stood up from his desk. “Oh, Amelia… Really? Urgent? What can be so urgent he must disturb me at my work?”

  She inclined her head and said, “He promises not to take up a great deal of your time.”

  Robert shuffled some papers on his desk as he tried to decide what to do. “Oh, very well.” He turned to his manager. “Will you excuse me for a moment? If you will just wait outside I will be with you again shortly.”

  “Very good, Milord.”

  Amelia had retreated and returned with the Viscount. As they came in, the manager left the room.

  Robert was not about to modulate his displeasure of needing to deal with Ludlow. “And what is so urgent you must upset my day?”

  The Viscount took his time. Not seeming to be rushed even though he had stated the matter was urgent. Amelia hung back by the door, with an enigmatic smile.

  “If this is more nonsense about your damned canal then just turn around and walk right back out,” Robert insisted.

  “Well, it is and it is not,” was all Ludlow would say at first.

  “Damn man, you are infuriating. What is it you want?”

  The Viscount took a turn about the room as if studying the shelves of books, before saying, “I am here about the canal, however, circumstances have changed and I believe I am now in a better position to elicit your agreement to my proposal.”

  Robert was becoming restless and agitated. “And what do you think has changed that will make me change my mind about accepting your absurd proposal to buy my land for your canal?”

  “I have new and pertinent information that might help you see the value in my proposal.”

  “And that would be what?”

  “I know you are the author of that ridiculous novel that you set your paramour up to claim as hers. What were you thinking? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. If that information were to be made public, you would become the laughing stock of polite society. You would be run out of Lords and you would become a pariah amongst the eligible young daughters of the nobles of the realm. You could forget about ever marrying well. I think that might be sufficient reason to sell—if I agreed to keep the information about your hoax to myself,” Ludlow countered.

  Robert was too furious to speak, but when he did it was directed at Amelia. “You traitor! You tell him this for what purpose?”

  Amelia seemed to be totally prepared for his tirade. She walked over and took Ludlow by his arm. “I see that you instantly assume it was me that told him.” She paused for effect. “Well, my darling brother, it was. Ludlow has agreed to marry me if the deal goes through. And I am to get seven and a half percent of the sale price upon closing.”

  Robert felt too defeated to resist. He hung his head and stood with his arms lifelessly at his sides. He knew he had no leverage and no expedient way to fight back.

  “You must give me time to think about this,” he said.

  “One week. I am under a deadline myself. My money people are getting restless and they want to see a sales contract or they are going to pull their financing. One week. Understand me? One week.”

  Chapter 26

  Diana’s stay in London kept being extended because she had suddenly become the sensation of the literary elite. Robert’s book was selling extremely well, and she was asked to any number of dinner parties, salon readings, and to the opera, concerts, and the theater. Adam accompanied her on many occasions early on, but his tolerance for what he called the stuffy set was wearing thin, and she found it necessary to call upon Sir Cecil to accompany her to later events, as Robert had unexpectantly returned to Balfour without even saying good-bye just a few days ago.

  Finally, one morning Adam confronted her in the sitting room. Diana was reading a number of book reviews Sir Cecil had sent over for her.

  “How much longer is this to go on?” Adam asked, standing rigidly in front of her as she read in the window seat.

  She looked up, surprised by his strident tone. “Adam, what is the problem? You sound angry.”

  “Because I am,” he commanded.

  “Adam, this is unlike you. Tell me what is troubling you,” she said putting her reading aside and giving him her full attention.

  “When is all this gallivanting around London going to cease? You are out almost every night at some event or other. Cab fares, new dresses—lunches, dinners, teas. It is costing a fortune and you are my fiancé, and I hardly ever see you anymore.”

  Diana was shocked by the vehemence in his voice. “Adam, please sit down.” He sat opposite her. “First of all, Adam, the expenses are all covered by the publisher. Nothing is coming out of your or my pockets. And remember this is not going to last forever. There was a flurry of activity after the book was published but the activity is already starting to die down. In fact, I am planning to return to Cambridge in just a day or two. I have neglected my own writing long enough and I have informed Sir Cecil I must return home.”

  “Oh…” He looked down sheepishly after his outburst.

  “Now tell me, have you closed out your Cambridge rooms or do you need to go back to do that? Maybe we could go together if you want,” Diana suggested.

  “No, I have already done that. I have no further business in Cambridge.”

  “Then I shall go alone. That is not a problem.”

  “I do not like the idea of you traveling alone, Diana.”

  “Oh, Adam, I have traveled alone for quite a few years now. I think I can manage quite nicely.”

  “That is as may be, but you are to be my wife, and I do not like the idea of that.”

  Diana sighed. “Adam, truly, you seem so childish sometimes.”

  “Is it childish to want your wife to be safe? To be a lady above reproach? To be…”

  Now Diana was angry, and she stood up. “Adam, you are making a fool of yourself. How could you possibly think that I would do anything you could reproach me for?”

  “Well, not you. But there are any number of men who might try and take advantage of you…” he defended himself.

  “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Adam. Now, if you do not mind, I think I shall go to my room and begin packing my trunk for my trip home.”

  He got up and reached out for her. “I am so sorry. I did not mean to insult you. I am only worried about you. I care so much.” He grabbed hold of her and buried his head against her shoulder and began to cry.

  Diana was astonished. “Adam? What is this?” She lifted his head with her forefinger and looked into his eyes.

  He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “It is nothing. Nothing. Forget I said anything at all.”

  She took him by his shoulders. It was beginning to dawn on her what a little boy he was. He was still more boy than man. His behavior was beginning to disappoint her and she faltered for the first time—was she really going to marry this boy? She felt a new urgency to go home. She needed time to reflect on her whole life situation—not only about her marriage but about this arrangement with Robert. The strain of this book promotion was beginning to weigh on her, and she was seriously considering if she wanted to go forward with this arrangement if Robert were to write a second book.

  She reached over and put her hand on Adam’s cheek. “My dear, take a moment to calm yourself and let us go for a walk in the park, shall we?”

  He shook his head. “No, I must go out. I am taking Mother shopping and then I have an appointment to have my hair cut. I will see you later this afternoon for tea—if you are not already engaged, that is.”

  Diana said gently, “I shall make certain I am here for tea.”

  Adam immediately seemed to bounce back and said, “Oh, that is excellent news. I shall stop by Martin’s bakery and fetch us some of their love
ly apricot tarts for tea. Mummy will be so pleased you will be with us.” Then he bounded out of the room.

  Diana watched him leave and shook her head. She had to admit he was a sweet man-boy, but she did wish he might be a little more mature. But perhaps that would come with time. Her mother had always said that marriage was work. It required compromise, compassion, and a tremendous amount of patience. And she was beginning to learn that her mother had a great deal of wisdom when it came to marriage. After all, she was still very patient with her father whose health and mental facilities were declining rapidly.

  * * *

  Diana’s trip back to Cambridge was uneventful. She had nothing to reproach herself for and had to smile at Adam’s over protectiveness. But what a relief it was to be home. After unpacking, she sat at her desk and practically purred, she felt so happy to be sitting where she would write again very soon. However, her mind was still in a whirlwind after all the events and excitement of the London book launch. She felt she needed to integrate the many varied experiences and settle into herself before she would be clear and calm enough to start writing again.

  After spending some time with her parents over breakfast, telling them about all of her adventures in London, she decided it was time to visit with the twins. And as it was a Saturday she had hopes of finding them both at home at the same time.

  As she approached the Sinclair house she spied Geoffrey raking the newly fallen leaves in the front garden.

  “You see the slave I have become?” he groused, as he raked the leaves into a pile. “I spend my weekdays slaving away at the primary school, and then, when I struggle home weary and worn, I am forced, like the slave you see, to rake the leaves on the weekend. See how I suffer, Diana?”

  She laughed. “Oh, Geoffrey, I would sympathize with you if I could, but I am sorry, I just cannot. You are such a big baby. Everyone works and everyone has chores. It is part of life. Get used to it.”

  He pouted as he leaned against his rake. “Not you too…” he wailed.

  “Come. Offer me some tea and I shall tell you all about my adventures in London.”

  “Now, that is more like it. Tea. Yea.”

  Diana took his arm as he led her inside the house.

  “Is Miriam at home, I do not want to recite all of this twice.”

  “She is. I believe she is being extremely lazy in the bathtub, luxuriating in hot water and a snowstorm of bath bubbles. I shall inform her you are here.”

  He disappeared and Diana stretched out her arms across the back of the sofa while she waited for her hosts.

  Shortly Miriam appeared in a terrycloth robe, with her hair wrapped in a towel.

  “Oh, Diana, how lovely. Geoffrey has gone to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Are you going to tell us all about your escapades in London? Was the book a success?”

  “All will be revealed in good time. But first tea.”

  Geoffrey brought out the tea and while Miriam dried her hair with the towel, Diana told them all about London and the book launch. The twins were pleased to hear her tales and asked ridiculous questions but when Diana was finished, Miriam asked how the wedding plans were progressing. There was a flicker of something in Diana’s eyes and she pressed further. “What? You are not telling us something.”

  Diana hesitated but finally said, “It is nothing.” She brushed cake crumbs off her skirt.

  The twins leaned forward and asked in unison. “It is not. There is something up. Tell us all.”

  Diana sat back on the sofa and considered how much to say. But knowing the twins, the less she said the better.

  “Well…” Diana started hesitantly, “Adam…” She was finding it very difficult to move forward.

  “Adam what?” Geoffrey pushed. “He smells? He has six toes? He has no teeth?”

  “He walks in his sleep? He murdered his mother? What?” Miriam continued.

  “I am not sure he is really ready for marriage the way I am,” Diana finally said.

  The twins were silenced. They looked at each other. “Are you cancelling the wedding?” Miriam asked, thunderstruck.

  “No. Not at all. It is just… I do not know how to describe it. I think for the past few years he has been so wrapped up in his studies and his dissertation that he has had little time to grow up as a man. He seems to be so ill-prepared for the responsibilities and the difficult decisions that marriage demands. I do not know what to do?”

  “Might you postpone for a while?”

  “It has crossed my mind. But there have been so many preparations already made. And Adam has been obsessive about organizing the honeymoon. I get these glimpses of us later on. Married, settled, living a rather predictable and controlled life. I am not sure that is what I want. And I do not know if he is flexible enough to be spontaneous and adventurous in the way I would like to be. Does that make any sense?”

  “Well… ye-e-e-s,” Geoffrey insisted. “Run, run, run.”

  Diana shook her head. “But I still care for him.”

  “But listen to what you just said. ‘You care for him.’ You did not say you loved him,” Miriam pointed out.

  Diana nodded her head several times but could not answer that. She sat thinking for several moments and then stood up. “I had better be going. Now that I am home again, I need to step up and help around the house. I know Mother has missed me doing my regular chores while I was gone.”

  The twins went over to Diana and they gave her a hug.

  After they released, they each took one of Diana’s arms and led her to the front door.

  “Let us know if you need anything from us,” Miriam insisted as Diana started down the front walk to the street.

  Diana waved. “I will. Thank you for the tea.”

  As she walked home, Diana knew she had been evading some of her thoughts and feelings around the marriage, but she also knew that no arrangement was perfect. And she had to remind herself, once again, that it was Adam arranging the loan that had saved the family home. And even though she had doubts about Adam’s maturity, she also knew that he would grow and mature with time, and eventually, he would make a wonderful husband. She was certain of that.

  As she walked in the front door, her mother called out to her from the kitchen. “You missed tea.”

  Diana went to the door. “I hope you did not wait for me. I had tea at the twins.”

  “Oh, good. I have had mine but I would make you some if you wanted.”

  “I am fine. Thank you.”

  Mother reached into her smock pocket and pulled out an envelope. “The Earl dropped this by while you were gone. I was not sure where you were, but he asked me to give this to you as soon as you returned.”

  “Thank you, Mother.”

  Diana opened the letter.

  Miss Diana,

  As I was uncertain if you would be home or not, I prepared this note in case you were gone.

  I need your advice and council on a most important and private matter. You are the only person to whom I can trust with this matter as it concerns our agreement on the book.

  I shall be at my river cottage and I would be ever so grateful if you could come visit me as soon as you receive this note.

  I shall stay here until you arrive.

  Your Devoted Servant,

  Robert

  This was certainly a mysterious message. After reading, she said to her mother, “I must go visit the Earl at his river cottage. I shan’t be too long. I hope to be home in time to help with supper.” She turned to leave but stopped. “How is Father? He seemed tired at luncheon.”

  “He tires easily these days. I believe he is taking his nap.”

  “Then I shall be back later.”

  It was a late September afternoon. The late morning and early afternoon had been warm but it was rapidly cooling down, so Diana wrapped a wool shawl around her shoulders and headed down the street to the end where there was a rank of hansom cabs. It was too far to Robert’s cottage to walk.

  She hired a cab
and, as she headed toward the riverside cottage, she began to think about Robert. After her conversation with the twins, she could not help but compare Adam to Robert. She tried to think about Adam, but all she could picture was Robert. The very thought of him sent a chill down her spine as she began to remember how his firm hands felt the few times he had touched her and how she had reacted. This was not an appropriate thought, and she pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders and shook off all thoughts of Robert except for the visit with him this afternoon.

  The cab arrived at the cottage. She paid the cab fare and went to the cottage door and knocked.

 

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