Stephan grinned. “You got all that from sixty seconds of observation?”
Minnie pointed at her head. “Woman’s intuition.”
“Well, if you’re so intuitive, what am I thinking right now?” He came closer and stood over Minnie, enjoying the sight of the flush mantling her cheeks.
“I think you’re just up to your usual empty flirtation tactics so you can manipulate me into doing more work.”
Stephan slapped his forehead. “Aw man! You are intuitive!”
Minnie scowled at him and poked him in the ribs. “Get to work, buster, or I’ll tell Delphine you’re slacking.”
Saluting smartly, Stephan commenced his duties.
From inside her office, Delphine could hear her employees’ banter. She hoped they never passed their friendship stage. If they ever began a romantic relationship, they could get their hearts broken, which would ultimately affect their work. Then nothing would get done around here, and I’ll really be in hot water with the Larsen family.
Delphine idly considered writing up a memo forbidding intra-office relationships. She didn’t move, but sat with her chin propped in her hand, staring at the pile of paperwork she had yet to complete—work she’d neglected to be with Brad for the day. If only she’d come to work instead, she could’ve avoided the whole sorry episode of yesterday.
Scrubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand, she thought again of the words he’d said last night. Delphine groaned. How could he have such a low opinion of her? Did Brad, her Brad really believe she’d wheel and deal for the loan with her body? It didn’t bear thinking about!
She shook her head, noting the wet spots dotting the papers on the desk. Surely at some point the pain would lessen. The shock and dismay would ease. Her head would clear and she could become a productive citizen again—not this pathetic weepy female crying over some womanizer.
Maybe his whole family was in on it. Maybe they’d seen her at the airport and thought Aha! There’s a pigeon just waiting to be plucked. Let’s lure her in with familial kindness, loan her a little bit of money and then have her make payments to Brad with her…
Delphine couldn’t finish the thought. She gave a harsh bark of laughter at her lurid imagination. The notion sounded like a cracked plot from a B movie. But what other explanation did she have?
The sound of a knock on her door made her jump. She hastily wiped the tears from her eyes. “What is it?”
Stephan’s voice came through the door. “There’s a delivery for you.”
Delphine let out a sigh. “Can’t you sign for it?”
“No, it’s not the kind you sign for.”
Closing her eyes for a moment, she summoned her strength and rose to her feet. When she opened the door, she came face to face with a large bouquet of red roses. Stephan peered around the bouquet and held it out to her.
“How did these get here?” she asked more unkindly than she intended.
“From the florist next door. Their employee brought them over.”
Delphine didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more hurt. “There’s been a mistake. Those are not for me.” She shut the door.
Stephan glanced over at Minnie. She looked back at him and shrugged. He took the bouquet to the front of the store and set it on the counter near the cash register.
“Looks like the boss has a beau.”
Minnie stuck her nose in the petals. “Doesn’t seem like she wants him anymore.”
“How do you know she doesn’t want him? Maybe it’s the other way around.”
“Stephan, it’s obvious he’s sending her flowers because he’s sorry he made her cry.”
“How does he know she was crying? He wasn’t here today.”
Minnie put a hand on her hip. “Don’t be so hard-headed.”
“I prefer to think of it as being practical.” Stephan watched as she tapped her fingers on the counter, wondering if she liked him. “Well, whatever is going on, we’re not going to make Delphine happy by standing around wondering about her love life.” He pressed a hand to his heart. “Besides, I’m the one who is hurt. I thought Delphine had a thing for me, and now I find she’s got someone else.” He sniffed.
Minnie rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a dork. She doesn’t like you, besides she probably considers you a child.”
“She’s only a few years older than me, but rest assured, my marked maturity more than makes up for what I lack in years.” He toyed with a rose petal and peered at her over the top of the bouquet. “Besides, I know you have your heart set on me, so I’ll willingly sacrifice Delphine for us.”
He smiled at the rush of color to Minnie’s cheeks—and admired the shooting silver sparks from her eyes. She looked about ready to deliver a stinging remark. Stephan reached up and pulled the card from the plastic prong.
“What are you doing?” Minnie hissed, her attention diverted.
“Shhh!” he said. “She’ll hear you.”
“You can’t open that!”
Stephan gave her a limpid look. “Why? It’s not sealed and it’s not federally protected mail or anything.”
“But still—”
“We need to find out what’s upsetting Delphine,” he said firmly. “And if it’s really scandalous, I just won’t show it to you.”
Minnie bit her lip and stared at him with wide eyes. Stephan felt a spasm of guilt at what he was about to do, but neatly suppressed it. He lifted the flap, slid the small card out, and scanned it.
Delphine,
I made a terrible mistake last night. Please forgive me.
I love you.
Brad
Stephan handed it to Minnie. After a moment’s hesitation, she read it.
“You were right,” he said in a low voice. “Love troubles.”
Minnie handed him the card. Stephan slid it back into the envelope and placed it in the prongs of the bouquet. He looked at her with a teasing grin, “Allergies I can handle. This is way out of my league.”
Minnie let out a gusty breath. “Oh, Stephan!” She turned and stormed to the workroom in the back.
Stephan raised his hands. “Hey, what’d I say?”
****
Delphine locked the shop door at the end of the week and looked up at the sky. The horizon radiated from blue to orange as the sun set in a gaudy display of frothy pink clouds. She glanced at her watch and realized with annoyance the city bus wouldn’t arrive for another fifteen minutes.
Not for the first time, Delphine wished she had a car. Since she was paying employees and had yet to actually sell anything, it would be some time before she could afford to buy one. She made a noise of disgust and slumped against the door.
A brisk wind kicked up, sending old newspapers in the alley scuttling across the pavement. Delphine closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of worry and loss drag at her.
She fought desperately against the swelling tide of pain. Her throat hurt from the effort of holding back tears. If she gave into it again, she might never recover. Delphine swallowed hard. She wanted to pray, but the words lodged in her heart.
It had been three days since she’d seen Brad. Each day, he’d sent flowers and left messages on her answering machine. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, if ever.
Delphine released a slow breath and closed her eyes. She willed her mind and body to relax, concentrating on practical things—like earning a living and paying off the loan.
The lyrics of a hymn started up in her brain. It took her a moment to realize she actually heard the song playing somewhere nearby. She opened her eyes and strained her ears. Pushing away from the door, she began to walk in the direction of the music.
Less than a block from her own shop, Delphine found herself in front of a storefront door lettered with the words Gospel Times Fellowship. Only a small neon cross in the window and a sign listing service times gave any indication it was a church.
Live music wafted into the evening air through the open door. Delphine tentatively s
tepped over the threshold and looked around. Inside, a small foyer had been painted with bright colors and set about with vibrantly glazed ceramic containers of bromeliads and ferns.
A man rose from a side chair as she entered. He had a square, pleasant face, dark hair, and brown eyes. Delphine judged him to be about thirty. She shook his outstretched hand and couldn’t help but return his friendly smile.
“My name is Greg Manning. The service has already started, but please join us.”
He ushered the way through a set of double doors. Delphine walked past him into a large room, with rows of upholstered chairs filled with about sixty people angling toward a low platform in the front. A small band occupied the space, complete with drums, piano, acoustic guitar, and an electric bass guitar.
Delphine sank onto a seat near the aisle in the back of the room, feeling a measure of her anguish recede. She wondered if the band was a visiting musical group. As one hymn blended into another, she realized it must be the worship team. The songs were familiar to her but she realized they’d taken some musical license and played them with quicker tempos and creative arrangements.
She clutched her purse in her lap. Well, Brad. Here’s your rock band leading the church service.
Delphine closed her eyes against a new wave of pain. She still burned with humiliation at their last encounter. No scenario she could come up with explained away his horrid words. And if he thought a flimsy excuse, as well as numerous bouquets of flowers, would work, he had another think coming.
She no longer even cared about the loan contract. If his dad saw fit to break it because of a personal problem between her and his son, then she wouldn’t give him much credit as a businessman. Somehow she’d come up with the money, but what did it matter? Nothing mattered when Brad Larsen thought so little of her.
Delphine blew out a shaky breath, exasperated by her swirling, incessant thoughts. On calmer reflection, she felt reasonably sure the contract would hold regardless. She’d fulfilled her obligations thus far.
The musicians stepped away from their instruments, making her realize she’d missed the remainder of the worship due to her relentless mental grappling.
The man she’d seen in the foyer stepped up to a low, wooden pulpit, with a Bible in his hands. Delphine decided he must be the pastor. He led the congregation in prayer before beginning his sermon.
“Please open your Bibles with me to Matthew ten, verses twenty nine and thirty. My sermon will be about God’s provision.”
Delphine reached into her purse for her small New Testament. When she found the passage, she read silently along with the pastor.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.”
Delphine remembered when she’d sensed these words on the bus. She thought about that little sparrow on the branch. What if had fallen? If God was aware of the poor bird, why had He not caught it before it hit the ground?
Clenching her hands in her lap, she thought of all the times she’d ‘fallen’, times when she had to leave behind what little she owned, to start over again with nothing. Where were you, God? Why didn’t you catch me?
She glanced around through a haze of tears and suddenly realized the service had ended and people were making their way out of the sanctuary. She shoved her Bible into her purse and readied to leave, embarrassed that she’d been so preoccupied as to miss the entire sermon.
When she looked up, she become conscious of someone sitting in the chair next to her. Delphine saw the pastor smiling at her.
“I didn’t catch your name when we first met.”
She stared at him, feeling her breath hitch in her throat. Fresh tears clouded her eyes when she thought of that scripture. “The sparrow,” she croaked.
The pastor’s brows knit together. “Your name is ‘Sparrow’?”
Fluttering her hands in embarrassment, she shook her head. “No, it’s Delphine.”
He grinned. “Well, you never know. This is southern California.”
Looking down, Delphine tried to collect her disruptive emotions. When she glanced up at him again, she swallowed her tears. “Why—why did God let the bird fall when he easily could’ve caught it? Why?” She put her hands up to her face and sobbed.
“Ms…Delphine. Wait right here.”
Delphine inwardly writhed with humiliation. Surely she’d cried more recently than the whole of her life. The notion didn’t stop the flow of tears. She became aware of someone else sitting near her.
“Delphine? This is my wife, Nan. She brought you some tissues.”
She looked up and smiled wanly in the direction of a pretty young woman who sat facing her in the chair directly in front. “I’m sorry,” Delphine whispered, taking a tissue and dabbing her nose. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“No one else is in here right now. So if you’d like to talk, maybe we can help you.”
She didn’t think she could bear having strangers hear her pathetic tale, yet the two pairs of eyes facing her seemed warm and concerned. She opened her mouth to demur, but began pouring out her troubles instead. Finally, she took a breath.
“I guess I just don’t know which way is up anymore. If God sees us like the sparrow, why does He just stand by and allow things to happen, even if it hurts?” Delphine gave the pastor a beseeching look, half-afraid of his answer.
He blew out a breath. “Well, you don’t ask the easy questions, do you?” He glanced at his wife. “At the risk of sounding pat, it’s a little known fact that scripture actually promises hardship. I wish I could say life is a smooth ride to eternity.”
He leaned forward. “Even in our own congregation, we have families dealing with the death of loved ones, with inexplicable circumstances, with illnesses. But we cling to God through it, even when things don’t seem to get better. He’s who we hold onto when we have nothing else.”
She bit her lip. Her worries seemed obscurely selfish. How easy to forget others suffered. But a part of her still longed for relief, longed for an easy way out. “So, we’re just supposed to tough it out with no hope that things will improve?”
The pastor’s wife spoke up. “It’s impossible in our own strength. But we can find grace from God when we need it most. The book of Hebrews says we can approach the throne of grace with confidence, finding mercy and grace to help us in our time of need.”
“Grace.” She shook her head wearily. “I don’t even know if I really understand what that is.”
“It’s like unmerited favor—God giving us something we can’t earn and don’t deserve.”
“But if we can’t work for it, how can we accept it? That doesn’t make sense.”
“God gives it because He loves us.”
Because He loves us.
Delphine lowered her gaze, her heart pounding. How can I receive what I don’t deserve? She shredded the tissue in her hands. I try so hard! Isn’t that worth something?
Releasing a slow sigh, she looked up at the pastor, worried that she wouldn’t respond the way he probably wanted. After becoming a Christian, didn’t she need to prove herself worthy of the new life God had given her? “It doesn’t seem as easy as it sounds.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I wouldn’t say it was easy—but yielding all to God can be easier than continually dragging our burdens around.”
Delphine bit her lip against a retort. What have I held back, God? There’s nothing left! What do you want from me that I haven’t already given?
Yourself.
Her eyes widened at the whisper of her heart. She glanced at Greg, half-wondering if he’d spoken the word, but he was flipping to a page in his Bible. Delphine blushed, knowing it had been the Lord speaking to her. She cringed. Why is this so hard? I’m a believer. Why can’t I get this?
An image of when she made the decision to serve the Lord f
lickered to life in her mind. At the age of sixteen, in desperation and loneliness, she’d turned to God, and had sensed His love and peace filling the empty places in her heart.
When did the peace go away?
Was it when she’d begun an after-school job to help her parents pay the never-ending stream of bills? When she had to leave one school for another in the middle of the year, once again losing what few friends she’d managed to make?
When her prayers seemed to go unanswered?
When did the bitter replace the sweet, Lord?
Delphine pressed a fresh tissue to her eyes. How can I give myself to You when all I am is someone who’s become tired and disillusioned?
Greg cleared his throat, making her realize she’d tuned him out. Great, Delphine. Ignore the guy after you blubbered all over him.
“Do you have a Bible? I’d like to send you home with some passages of scripture you might find encouraging.”
“I do, but I have to confess I haven’t spent as much time reading it as I should.”
Greg smiled. “I’ve listed several psalms. Sometimes reading about someone else’s trials can make you realize you’re not alone. And when we surrender what we’ve been holding onto so tightly, we actually find God is who we’ve wanted all along. And a longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul.”
Delphine managed a smile, slipping the card into her purse. “Thank you for listening. I can’t tell you how it’s helped.”
“Can we pray with you before you leave?”
Nodding, she bowed her head while the pastor’s words flowed over her. She silently asked for help to persevere in her difficulties, to find peace in the midst of them.
When the prayer ended, Greg smiled. “Feel free to drop in again anytime.” He gripped her hand. “You’re not alone, okay?”
She nodded, forcing back persistent tears. “Thank you.”
After they walked her out to the door, Delphine continued on down to the sidewalk to the bus stop. She leaned against the sign and looked up into the evening sky, thinking about what the pastor had said.
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