I told Spencer I’d give him my heart, and I meant it.
I’ve practically gift-wrapped it for him.
“Come on. I suppose we’d better wish them all good luck,” I say, after a break in the conversation.
“Yeah. You know I never tire of seeing Aidan in his MX gear. My kind of man in uniform.”
“Yeah, I agree.” Whoops. I actually said that out loud. “I mean, well, any kind of man in uniform will do me.”
“You seeing anyone?” Eevie asks as we make our way to the guys.
“I’m working on it,” I reply.
Man, am I working on it.
****
* SPENCER *
Stone, Billy Boy and I are kitted up in our full gear when two glamours stroll over. April and Eevie.
Eevie throws her arms around Stone and kisses him madly. “Good luck, babe,” she says, and then squeaks as Stone lifts her off the ground with her arse gripped in his hands. I’ve never been more jealous of the fucker in my life. If only I could be doing that to April right now.
My gaze doesn’t leave April as she quietly walks around the group, politely wishing everyone good luck. Mac, of course, is right by her side, breathing down her neck. It’s almost like Mac has his favourite toy in the sandbox, and he won’t share for anything. There’s no way I can get her alone. Dammit. I just want to hold her hand, slip my hand around her waist … anything.
Stone comes up and extends his gloved hand to me. “Ride it like you stole it, Jones,” he says.
“Fuck yeah,” I say and chuckle as we firmly shake. “No regrets.”
“No regrets, mate,” he says and grips my shoulder as he walks past.
Her caramel hair is piled high in a bun on top of her head. April stops short in front of me. I extend my hand, because I figure this is the safest move I’ve got.
“Good luck,” she says, choking on her words. She sucks in a deep breath, blinking like there’s something in her eye. It’s hurting her. She’s torn. Her eyes tell me she wants to fall into my arms, and fuck, do I want her to.
It’s ripping at my insides. I fucking hate this.
“The track’s a bit rough, so watch your lines. Just ride like you did in practice, boy. That’s all I can ask of you,” Mac’s voice booms. He casts a shadow over April as he wraps his arm around her shoulders. She cringes and withdraws her hand from mine, leaving me feeling emptier than I’ve ever felt before.
“Sure thing, Mac. That’s the plan,” I say, and fake a smile. I don’t feel like fucking smiling.
“Come on, Peaches. Let’s get you a good pozzy for some shots.”
They walk away, leaving me standing frozen, like my heavy motorbike boots are bolted to the ground.
This whole thing feels so goddamn wrong. If there were no Mac, I would’ve pushed April up against the nearest wall, car, trailer, whatever, and kissed her until we were both breathless.
Fuck who was watching.
I wanted to hold her tight, and tell her what I’d thought about when I was alone in bed last night. For a change, I wasn’t thinking with my dick. I was starting to listen to my heart. I wanted her to know what a big fucking deal it was, the way she’d dropped everything, and spent half the morning getting here to watch me. Before I knew it, she’d return to that car, and be back on a plane to get home. She’d refused to even let me pay for the bloody tickets. I don’t know what she earns with her work, but I’d wanted to pay to get her here. But she was too proud. She was doing it her way or not at all. Another reason to … love her.
But I had to see the positive in all this. She was here. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but it was better than doing this round alone. Hopefully, I’ll never have to do it alone again. Soon enough the season will be over, we can tell Mac, and all move on.
I turn around and walk towards the starting line. Time to get out on the track, elbows up, and kill this. Today, more than ever, I’m on a mission. I’m gonna win this round and get that one step closer to taking out the championship, even if it kills me.
I’ve got shit to prove.
****
* APRIL *
“And here comes Yamaha’s number eleven, Jones, on the inside, to take the lead from Stone in number twenty-four, the reigning champion. It’s been a good day for Jones, qualifying first, seconds quicker than the field, and he’s put the pressure on the whole race,” the guy on the loud speaker booms behind us.
He’s doing it. He’s gonna win. I’ve been on the edge of my seat, but now it’s really happening. And I couldn’t be happier for him. My heart in my throat, I try to steady my shaking hands by running them through my tangled hair. He’s flying out there, he’s got the rhythm, and in only one more lap, he’ll have it. God, please let him have it. He deserves it.
“And it’s number eleven, Jones from Team Yamaha! And a very close second, Stone in twenty-four!” the speaker booms, louder than before.
Spencer crosses the finish line and stands tall on the pegs of his bike, covered in mud, one arm stretched to the sky in triumph.
He did it. He really did it! My heart pounds like a drum in my ears, each thumping beat ordering me to go to him. I just wanna run, throw my arms and legs around him, and hold him with everything I’ve got.
Spencer stops his bike at the side of the track, and Daddy and a couple of the support guys are all over him, hugging him and slapping his back. He turns his head towards me and pounds his fist twice against his heart before pointing in my direction. And, like some kind of princess, I start to cry. Happy tears fall down my cheeks and I brush them away, and breathe in deep. Calm. I need to get my shit together.
Spencer’s acknowledging me being here the only way he can, and it’s all my fault.
I hope to hell he doesn’t think I’m ashamed of him, that he thinks that’s why I haven’t told Daddy about us, because the truth is I couldn’t be prouder to be the woman in his life. He’s fought hard for this, fought hard for me, and being here to watch him is more of an emotional onslaught than I was prepared for.
I grab my camera like it’s a protective shield, and walk down to the gathering. Thank God I’ve got sunnies to hide my eyes. No one needs to see me like this, least of all Spencer. I want this to be a happy moment for him, not one where he sees how this is cutting me up inside because I’m sure, from some of the concerned looks he gave me this morning, he already knows.
****
* SPENCER *
I’d won a handful of rounds this season, but I never thought a win, one that I’d worked harder than ever for, would feel like this.
Bittersweet.
I can’t celebrate the victory with the one person I want to the most. I wanna hold April, kiss the fuck out of her in front of everyone, but it can’t happen until we’re behind closed doors. It makes me want to storm off and sulk like a fucking kid.
I thought I’d feel different April being here, and I do, but having her in my heart, and not being able to hold her in my arms after a win like that? It’s a fucking killer. I might as well have come last for the shit feeling I have inside.
As we walk up onto the podium I see April in the crowd, taking photos. She lowers the camera and smiles, blowing me a kiss. It slams me fair in the chest, lifting my mood. We’ll tell Mac soon, and all the secrecy will be over.
“Congrats, mate. You fuckin’ nailed it today,” Stone says, standing next to me.
“Thanks, you too. Tough track, huh?”
Stone moves in closer and elbows me in the arm. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d found a source of inspiration.”
The fucker knows. I can tell by the way he’s gawking at me, eyebrows raised like he’s a mind-reader.
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
He shakes his head and leans in close. “I’m not a fuckin’ idiot. I haven’t seen you with another girl since April came strutting into practise a few weeks ago. I watched the way you looked at each other today. I know love, Jones. The way your face fuckin�
� lights up when you’re sending texts and sneaking out to make phone calls? I see it, and I know it because I have it, mate.”
All I can do is stare at him. He’s called me on it. I don’t wanna tell him about her, but I don’t wanna deny it, because deep down I want the world to know she’s mine. I just can’t do it here. Not until she’s ready.
“You’re secret’s safe, mate. You’d better keep it way, though, otherwise Mac will have your balls, and anything else he can get his hands on.”
Thanks for the reminder, fucker.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Anyway, good ride. Fuck me if you didn’t make me work today.”
I shake his hand, and he pulls me into a hug. “Thanks, Stone,” I say, my voice gruff.
It felt good to hear Aidan congratulate me. More than I’d ever thought it would. And here I was, worried about how he’d react. Instead, I’d earned his respect. He’s a better guy than I give him credit for. Even though I’m an arsehole to him sometimes, he’s so team-spirited. I’m fucking lucky to have such an awesome team. Well, really, they’re like … family.
Mac clambers up the steps to the podium, and the tall, bald guy with the microphone moves closer to him. When the guy turns, I realise it’s Greg Bates, one of the MX head honchos. I’d totally forgotten he’d signed up for World’s Greatest Shave to raise money. The full head of wild brown hair he usually sports is completely gone, the late afternoon sun shining down on his smooth scalp.
“A well-deserved win for the Yamaha boys today, Mac. Congratulations,” Greg says, pointing the mic at Mac.
“Cheers, Greg. Yeah, our riders are the fastest in the series right now, and I couldn’t be happier with where we’re placed leading into the final round,” Mac says and nods.
“The team’s been racing consistently, with some good championship points,” Greg continues.
“Yeah, I’m expecting a one-two finish, but as for which one of our boys will take the championship? It’s anyone’s guess.” Mac lifts his chin towards Stone and I, and grins like crazy.
“Jones,” Greg says, turning his attention and the mic to me. “Good to have you up on the podium again. You had some good starts today, running in the lead group in the opening laps. You clocked some impressive times.”
“Good to be here, Greg. I’m real happy with my fitness and had some good speed today, especially my sprint pace. I’ve got a good team behind me, and a win like this has me hungry for next round.”
Greg turns to Stone. “Stone, you nearly had it today, and with the points on the board you’re still a strong contender for the championship. What are you planning on bringing to the final round?”
Stone rubs his stubbly chin and chuckles. “Everything I’ve got, mate.”
Greg has a few quick words with Parker from the KTM team who placed third, but I don’t take any of it in, because at this point my only focus is April smiling in the crowd. Can we just get fucking naked in bed already?
We step off the podium and the crowd quietens down as it starts to disperse.
“The man of the moment. How’s it feel, Jones?” Mac says, holding his hand out.
I take it and his large hand grips mine firmly as we shake. He’s a good man, and he’s always had my back. Deep down, even though he knows I’m a womaniser, Mac still somehow sees past that. I hope to Christ he continues to back me. Hell, I can only try so hard and push myself so far. Maybe after today he’ll see the good in me. April believes it’s there. I hope he can too.
“Pretty good, Mac. Pretty fucking good.”
“I’m proud of you, boy. Fucking proud.”
Proud. My new favourite word. I try not to let him see how much those words mean to me. If only my own father would say it … maybe after the win today he will. If he can just see how serious I am about this, he’ll understand that this is my life.
“Ride like this next round and the championship’s yours, boy.”
Wow. He’s right. With the points I have, I can do it. It’s so close I can touch it. Eyes on the prize.
“That’s the plan, Mac. That’s the plan,” I reply.
Now, more than anything, I just wanna get home.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
* SPENCER *
After driving like a madman from the airport, I pull up out front of her apartment as if my brakes had failed. I’m barely out of the car when April runs and hugs me, wrapping her legs around my hips. I plant my feet firm to the ground and grab her arse, holding my girl tight as I drink in her sweet scent.
“You were fucking awesome!” she says excitedly.
I kiss her sweet lips like a hungry animal and then bury my head in her neck. Her pulse beats hard against my mouth.
“Fuck I missed you today,” I growl into her ear.
I lean back to kiss her again. Her eyes are filled with tears. She tries to smile, but her lips quiver.
“I’m sorry,” she says, and sniffs back her runny nose.
“What for?”
“I know I was there, but I wasn’t really there for you. I wanted to hug the shit out of you when you’d won. I’d thought all day about telling him … about us … but I couldn’t do it. I hate this.”
I know this is hurting her, but what am I supposed to say? We need to tell him, but it’s up to her. Not my call.
“Don’t get upset over it, beautiful. We’ll work it out.” I lower her to the ground and smooth the tears from her face. It fucking kills me to see her cry. It’s downright awful. “Come on, let’s get inside. I need a long hot shower and a snuggle with my girl.”
****
Monday morning
“Where the hell are you? We were supposed to meet for breakfast in the office at seven,” Dad barks into the phone at ten minutes past the meeting time.
There’s no way I would’ve agreed to a seven am breakfast meeting straight after competing in a round. Eloise, you’ve fucked me again.
“I’m still in bed, Dad,” I say, my voice raspy. With a gorgeous woman wrapped around me. That’s fucking where. “Besides that, it seems like the woman you hired to be my assistant isn’t doing much in the way of assisting. I didn’t know.”
“Well hurry up and get your arse in here, Spencer. I had to push back some things to deal with that sickness of yours on Friday, and, might I add, I’m still pissed about it.” He’s got that angry-man tone that I can’t say I miss. I would’ve thought he’d be caffeinated by now.
“Dad, I’m not comin’ in today.”
“Do I have to give you the lecture again about commitment? Because it seems the last one went in one ear and out the other.”
Is he even gonna ask me about last round? He knew I was away this past weekend. Sometimes I wonder if he even gives a shit about me.
“I won the round yesterday, Dad. Smashed it.”
“Oh. Good. So why aren’t you coming in? You’re obviously home.” The tone is his voice softens slightly, but I don’t understand how he can be so dismissive of the win. It’s all business with this fucker. He just doesn’t get how demanding the sport is. Motocross isn’t a fucking ride through fields of daisies. It’s one of the most physically challenging sports there is, and the ache in my muscles is testimony to how hard I’ve worked. How about congratulations?
“I need a day to recover. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hang up the phone before he gets the chance to take me down from this high. I just wish he’d let me enjoy it for once.
I let out a resigned breath out and slide my arm around April’s naked waist.
“You okay?” she asks, her eyes full of understanding. She knows what a prick Dad can be sometimes.
“Yeah. It’s just … racing is the only thing that’s mine, the one thing I got to choose. My dad thinks it’s a phase, that I won’t build a lasting career out of it. Would it fucking kill him to at least congratulate me?”
“I’m sure he means to. Maybe he’s not good with words.”
She’s too kind.
“Ha! You give him too mu
ch credit. Maybe if I win the championship he’ll take notice. I just hope I’ve got it in me, otherwise he’ll just see it as another fail.”
“Of course you do. It’s yours. You just have to go get it.”
I slam my lips against hers, slipping my tongue into her pretty mouth. She groans low in her throat as I kiss her with every emotion that’s filled my head during the last twenty-four hours. Needless to say, there’s a fucking lot.
April pulls away, licking at her bottom lip. “What was that for?” she asks, breathless.
“For believing in me … and giving me something else to fight for.”
“What?”
“The love of a smart, beautiful woman. I wanna make you proud. I wanna do this for you.”
“Promise me you won’t do this for me. You need to do it for you.” She pokes me in the chest, emphasizing her point. “You deserve this. Don’t just exist in your dream, Spencer, live in it. I’ll be there to see you finish first.”
“You’re coming?”
“Of course I am. There’s no way I’d miss it. I just need to sort the flights and stuff.”
“Only if you let me pay this time.”
“We’re not having this argument again,” she says, and purses her pretty lips.
“Why not? I like you all fired up.”
“Shut up. You were an idiot last time.” She throws back the sheet, and arches her back as she stretches. “Come on, we should get out of bed. All this snuggling has made me hungry.”
Is she taking the piss? I was so fucking exhausted last night that after a scalding-hot shower, I’d fallen asleep in her arms. I had, however, always planned on sleepy sex this morning. It’s still my plan.
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