“It’s been nearly a week. You know I really thought he’d call. Guess he didn’t feel like explaining after all. I thought I meant … never mind.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. It had pained me to see her glued to her phone, making sure it was always charged and within arm’s reach. In case he called. What the fuck was wrong with him? He must be guilty as hell to walk away from April, because I can’t think of another reason for his lack of communication. This no contact only confirms it. “You feeling okay?” I ask, leaning up on my elbow.
Her chest rises as she breathes in deep, and then falls as she lets it out through her mouth, repeating several times. She turns to me, and takes my closest her hand in hers.
“Thank you, Soph. For everything. I’m so sorry about last night, this whole damn week, but right now I know there’s only one thing I can do to be okay.” A tear rolls down her cheek, and she looks away. April slowly rises out of bed and leaves the room. The water pipes in the shower groan a moment later.
Any decision she made in that split second, with a motherfucker of a hangover, can’t be good. I have a feeling I’m about to lose April.
She’s gonna do it again.
****
* SPENCER *
Sunday
My phone pings. It’s a text from April.
She must want to see me. She’s gonna give me a chance to explain. Thank Christ for that. My life has been hell without her.
My heart pounds harder as I open up the message.
APRIL: I’M GOING TO SPAIN. I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU IF YOU’D CALLED ME, BUT YOU HAVEN’T. I THOUGHT I MEANT MORE TO YOU THAN THAT. IF YOU HAD HAVE CALLED, THINGS MIGHT BE DIFFERENT. GOODBYE SPENCER X
She’s going to Spain. FUCK! No. No. And. Fucking. No.
She can’t leave.
I dial her number, and it goes straight to voicemail.
“Hi! You’ve reached April MacIntyre, freelance photographer. Your call is very important to me, so please leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you!”
Every word from her sweet mouth is like an army of knives stabbing at my chest. I can’t bear to leave a message. The last time I tried to call her was when she walked out of that hotel room in Coolum, dragging my heart with her. Fuck it hurt to see her like that, but it fucking sucked that she wouldn’t let me explain.
That’s it! I have to sort this shit out once and for all. Where the fuck have my balls been this past week? She’s not leaving. She can’t. I’ll do whatever it takes.
Starting with Mac.
****
“Thanks for meeting me on such short notice, Mac.”
“I’m here reluctantly. Just spit it out, boy.”
“I need to see her,” I bark out, my intent wrapped clear around every word.
He tilts his head to the side and frowns. “You talking about Peaches?”
I nod.
“Ha! Thought you would’ve moved on by now. It’s what you do.”
He really has a low opinion of me. I thought I was starting to change that.
“I love her, Mac. I’ve told you this. I didn’t cheat on her. I couldn’t … ever.”
“And I told you to stay the fuck away or find a new team. Do you need to clean your ears? Because I thought I was crystal.”
“Yeah, I heard you, but I know what I want. It’s been the worst fucking week of my life, not talking to her and explaining. I know she feels the same way, and I know that with each passing day she’s hurting—”
“Oh, she’s hurting alright. You made sure you did a good job of it,” he barks.
“I need to talk to her. I have to, because without her, nothing else matters.” I breathe out loudly. “That includes my place on the team.”
Mac’s jaw goes slack, and for a good while he stares at me, all kinds of thoughts seemingly taunting him by the wrinkling of his brow, and the twitch of his mouth.
He scratches his head. “What are you saying, boy? You’d give up your place on the most sought-out team in Australia … for my girl?”
“Yep.” In a heartbeat.
“Well, damn,” Mac mutters under his breath. He stands up, towering over me and brings his hand towards my face. I tense up, thinking he’s gonna deck me, instead he rests his large hand on my shoulder.
“She’s worth the fight, Jones. I’m just glad you see that now.”
“I don’t just see it; I know it.”
He squeezes my shoulder, and his mouth curls into a sly smile.
“Your place on the team is safe, Jones, but as to whether she’ll see you … it’s up to her now.”
“Thanks, Mac.” I stand up and shake his hand. He squeezes my hand in a death grip, pulling me closer, his mouth to my ear.
“And Jones … if you hurt her, it’s the end for you. No open casket.”
Gulp. Big ol’ psycho grizzly bear, ready to eat me alive. Message received, loud and clear.
“Got it.”
He lets go of my hand, and I have to stretch out my fingers to help recirculate the blood.
“See you in a few weeks, boy. Bring your A-game.”
“Will do, Mac.’
I get into my Range Rover and drive towards the little shop to pick up the gift I’d organised for April weeks ago.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t throw it back in my face. It might just be too little too late.
****
* APRIL *
Three hard knocks to the apartment door have me frozen with fear. I can’t see him. I won’t. Not now. I just have to pretend I’m not here. Tiptoeing towards the door, I listen for any sounds.
“Peaches, it’s me.” Daddy’s soft voice filters through the cracks.
Heaving a huge sigh of relief, I open the door, but it’s soon replaced with disappointment. Even my message telling Spencer I was going overseas wasn’t enough for him to come see me. I’m better off without him if he doesn’t even have the decency to pay me a visit after that.
“Hey. Come in,” I mutter. Daddy steps inside, and pulls me into his arms for one of his infamous giant bear hugs.
“I’ve missed my girl,” he says and kisses my forehead. I squeeze him tighter, and grind my teeth together to stop myself from crying. I thought I was done with that shit. I’m not crying over Spencer anymore. I’m moving on.
I pull away from Daddy’s hold and, unable to look at him, I walk through to the living room. I move two boxes out of the way and we sit down on the couch together. Daddy wraps his arm around my shoulders and I snuggle into his side and look up at him.
“Are you okay?” he asks warily, not looking me in the eye.
“I’ll live.” Barely.
“Talk to me, Peaches. It drives me up the wall knowing what happened, and you haven’t taken my calls. I spoke to Soph, and she’s worried about you. I need to know you’re okay. You know I’m always here to listen.”
“Why did you yell at me like that? Like this was my fault?” The tone in his voice that night had been frightening.
“Oh, darling. I’m sorry. I was angry … I didn’t think. I was hurt that you’d kept this from me. Why did you?”
“Because you would’ve never approved. I finally had something real, and you were the one person who could change that. I met him before I knew who he was to you.” I poke my finger through the hole in the knee of my jeans, and play with the loose threads. “Spencer wanted to tell you about us, but I was the one who held out on you. I’m sorry. Guess I should have told you, and then Spencer and I would have been over before he had a chance to break my heart.”
He sighs. “Damn, Peaches,” he mutters.
“You don’t know Spencer; you only know Jones. I know there are parts of him that aren’t that pretty, but I promise you, he’s all Spencer underneath. I just don’t understand this whole mess. I may not have known him all that long, but I know what we have is different. Well, what we had.”
Daddy just sits there, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and scratching at the top
of his head.
“To think I was in love him … If I’m honest, I still am. I’m just a stupid fool thinking that I would be enough for someone. Aren’t I enough? Am I just too … different? Too out there? Do I need to dumb it down to find someone who’s not going to tread all over my fucking heart?” Each word causes a sharp pain deep in my chest. It’s like I’m back in that hotel room all over again, struggling for breath.
Dad stares at his hands linked together in his lap. “No, Peaches. You’re perfect. In every way. Don’t ever change. For anyone.”
I blink my eyes quickly to try and ward off the tears. Daddy is the only person in the world who believes that about me. Except maybe Soph. But she’s biased.
“What’s with the packing boxes?” he says, nodding in the direction of my work-in-progress by the bookcase. I was making room for Soph.
“I rang Ramon … in Spain. He said there’s plenty of work. I’m going back.”
I’d bought a one-way ticket, leaving in a few days. Soph was already set to move in. After delaying the inevitable, I’d texted Spencer this morning and told him I was leaving and then turned my phone off. I wanted him to know where I was. Why I don’t know.
I don’t think I’ll ever get closure. I’ve lost a part of me to Spencer, and it’s left a gaping hole in my heart. It might heal over time, but the scars won’t be pretty. I’ll forever carry them with me.
Daddy furrows his brow and his mouth forms a hard line. “What about the job with Transmoto? You’re set to start in a couple of weeks.”
And it was hanging over me like a dark cloud. I still have to ring Pete and tell him I’m not going to be able to cover the supercross. That’s gonna be a tough call to make, especially after they’d been so eager for me to come on board. I think being Mac’s daughter played a part of it, but I know I wouldn’t have been given such an amazing offer if my work wasn’t top notch.
“I’ll have to ring him and tell him I’m out. I … I can’t be around motocross knowing he’ll be there.”
Daddy hunches over on the couch, as if he’d just been stabbed in the heart. I’m getting to know that feeling real well. “You’ve gotta stop running, Peaches,” he says under his breath. He pulls me into a hug, and I snuggle into him. The one man in my life who’s always been there for me. No matter what.
“You’re probably right, but I don’t know how else to deal. Tell me what to do, because I’m tired of this game. You know me. I just want someone. Someone who understands me … appreciates me, because I’m sick of being alone. I want a future with someone who lights me up and makes me feel wanted.
“Spencer did that. I want him, even despite what he did, but I’m just not enough.” Admitting that, cuts at my very soul.”
“Peaches …”
“Yeah?” I look up at his tortured face. He always worries. I should have realised that this whole mess had hurt him too.
“There’s something you need to know.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
* APRIL *
“He’s got a past, Peaches. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, but Jones swears he didn’t cheat. He hasn’t had eyes for anyone else since he met you. He told me that stuff I overheard, when he was talking to Billy, was to keep me and everyone else off-track so we wouldn’t find out about you two until you were ready.
“Stone called him on it a while back, and he didn’t deny his feelings for you. He’s ready to shout it to the bloody world that he loves you. And …” Daddy lets out a loud sigh. “… I believe him.”
My heart pounds violently in my chest. He didn’t do it. And he loves me. Is it all true though?
“He even talked to Stone about what to do. The Jones I know would normally be too proud to do that,” he adds.
So he didn’t cheat. It still breaks my heart that he didn’t even have the courage to tell me that. I’m not important enough, deserving enough to get an explanation. He just walked away.
“Okay, so he didn’t cheat, but he hasn’t even tried to call me. I can’t mean that much to him. Seriously? How hard is it to pick up a damn phone? Pay a visit?”
Yeah, I avoided his call when I was in the taxi on the way to the airport, but he’d had ample opportunities to call me since then. Like all fucking week long when my head was buried in a box of Kleenex. I would have talked to him, given him a chance to spill. I was prepared to listen.
Daddy grumbles and runs his hands through his salt-and-pepper hair. “Ah, that’s my fault, Peaches.”
What?
“How in the hell is that your fault?”
He knits his fingers together in his lap again, and watches them intently as his knuckles turn white. “I, ah, threatened to kick him off the team and fuck with his sponsorship if he didn’t stay away from you—”
I bolt upright off the couch, blood rushing to my cheeks. “You did what?” I ask through clenched teeth. “How could you do that to him?”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping. “I thought I was protecting you.”
“No, Dad,” I bark, pointing my finger at him like it’s a weapon. “You don’t fuck with someone like that. You don’t hold their passion, their dream in one hand and love in the other, and then make them choose.”
I want to be Spencer’s choice, but I can’t and won’t compete with his dream.
“I know it was a shitty thing to do, Peaches, but, well, he came to me today. He made a decision.”
Perfect. I look to the ceiling. “And it wasn’t me,” I whisper, barely able to hold the tears back.
Daddy stands up and places his large hands on my shoulders, looking down at me. Goddamn it, I feel like I’m twelve years old again.
“The opposite, Peaches. He said he didn’t care about the team, any of it … he just wants you.”
“Huh?” It’s all I can manage.
He’d give it all up for me. The thing he wants most, he’d be willing to put second to me. This isn’t fair. I don’t want him to lose his dream. I can’t be responsible for that.
“And what did you say to that?” I cringe, awaiting his answer. Did he beat the shit out of him, and still tell him to stay away from me? Fuck. Is Spencer in the hospital?
“I told him that he still has a place on the team, but as to whether you’d talk to him, that was up to you.”
Tears of relief flood down my face.
“If you really wanna be with him, I won’t stand in your way. But if he hurts you, finding a new team will be the least of his worries. Choosing a funeral plan will become top of his to do list.”
“You know I love you, Daddy, right?” I say, wiping my tears away.
“Of course. I love you too.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna get hurt, but I can handle it … You have to let me go.”
His eyes glisten, and for the first time in a very long time, my daddy is close to tears. “My beautiful Peaches. The moment you were born I became forever committed to be there for you, to protect you, to give you what you need. I messed up on this one, I’m sorry, but you know what? Now we both know exactly how he feels, and the fact he was willing to give it all up for my precious girl? I know he’s deserving of you. You deserve to have a man who will do anything for you, whose love is so strong he can’t see anything else. I know he’ll treat you right. Just please forgive your overbearing Dad.”
“I know your heart was in the right place. Of course I forgive you, but you have to apologise to him.” I squeeze him tight around his waist.
He nods. “Yeah, okay. I think I can manage that,” he sighs.
“Good.” I move over to the front door and snatch my keys and helmet from the side table. I grab my phone and turn it back on.
“Where you off to?” he asks.
“I’ve gotta talk to him … Tell him I’m not leaving.”
He nods and a smile spreads over his lips. “That’s my girl. I’ll get going, then. You go get him.”
I run down the stairs. My door sl
ams shut and Dad’s heavy boots echo in the stairwell behind me. My phone beeps like an out of control arcade game. It’s flooded with messages and missed calls. All Spencer.
I need to get to him before I hurt him anymore. He has to know I’m not going anywhere. This time I’m not running. Well, I am, just this time, it’s to him.
I slip my phone in my jacket pocket and fasten my helmet. I start my bike, but when I go to reverse, a black Range Rover screeches to a halt behind me, smoke billowing from the tyres.
He’s here.
I kill the motor, and swing my leg off the bike. I remove my helmet and rest it on the seat. Just seeing him, I’m overwhelmed by so many emotions.
Excitement.
Sadness.
Love.
Hurt.
He hurt me. More than anybody has. If I stay, I’ve got to know this is going to last. I won’t be able to handle this again. Not with the way I feel for him.
Spencer gets out of his car and storms towards me. “You’re not leaving,” he orders, his cheeks flushed, his chest expanding with each laboured breath.
Convince me.
“Tell me why I should stay.”
He sweeps me into his arms and claims my mouth with his. He kisses me wild and desperate, like it might be the last time he ever has the chance. One arm held tight behind my back, he dips me backwards. With his other hand, he lovingly brushes my helmet hair from my face.
“Everything I have and everything I’ve ever wished for, I’d give that up for you. I love you, April. So fucking much,” he says, gritting his teeth with his last few words.
Warmth blooms inside my chest at his declaration of love. “That was quite an answer,” I say, breathless.
He smiles wickedly, causing my body to tremble with need. Need for him.
“You’re quite a girl,” he says, his voice husky.
I pull back and stand unassisted, and stare into his baby blues. Boy have I missed drowning in these. His chest expands quickly as his eyes search mine.
Strike Page 23