by Lexy Timms
“You’re welcome,” she said. I detected a subtle hint of disappointment in her voice. Her eyes scanned my body, making me shift uncomfortably. “We’ll be having you back again, for sure.”
“I hope so.” I turned to pack up my camera equipment.
“So, you’re about thirty, am I right?” Marci asked.
“In a few months,” I answered with a nod.
“So, what did you do before you became a photographer?”
“I went to school, got my Master’s- my CPA… and I decided it wasn’t for me.”
She pursed her lips thoughtfully.
“I’d much rather take pictures than stare at a computer screen and work numbers all day,” I continued.
“Why would you do this when you have a CPA?” she wondered. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, photographers around here make a pretty good living. Better than the guy working McDonald’s, at least. But, do you know how much money you could make as an accountant? In this fucking town?”
“I know exactly what they make,” I assured her, feeling annoyed. “But, I wouldn’t have been happy doing it. I’m not exactly happy about the student loans… But, I’m genuinely glad I’m where I am right now.”
Technically, I was bending the truth a bit, because I wanted to be away from Marci. I just wanted to pack my stuff in peace without her odd sexual advances or judgement.
“I’m not putting you down, you know,” she said. “I was just wondering.”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“You’re a really smart guy, you know,” said Marci. “You can run these shoots, no question, and you can make a nice living. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
“That’s- not what I’m thinking about,” I said, startled by her abrupt addition.
“I guess I’m going to go,” she finally said. “I’ll let you pack. Bye, Justin.”
I waved weakly. Even though she said she wasn’t putting me down, it still felt like the same dialogue that I received countless times from my family and friends. I was in a position that was sought by many aspiring photographers. I was receiving compliments from everyone I worked with. But yet, that wasn’t enough for them. It still seemed like people wanted me to be trapped in an office all day crunching numbers.
Just as I finished packing up the last of my things, one of the models approached me. I didn’t know her name, but she was one of the nicest girls in the group. She had bright red hair, creamy skin, and an innocent smile. She was timid, which was a rare trait for a New York model.
“Hi,” she muttered shyly.
“Hey,” I said.
“I never got your name…”
“Justin,” I said. “What’s yours?”
“Stephanie,” she answered with a small smile.
“Nice to meet you, Stephanie,” I said. “Have fun today?”
“Oh, I most certainly did,” she said. “Was I good for you?”
“You most certainly were,” I answered kindly.
She laughed loudly and took a step closer to me.
“Are you working the Vicki shoot tomorrow?” she asked me while she played with her hair.
“No, unfortunately, but I would have loved to work it, believe me,” I said.
“Ah, that’s too bad,” she said. “You’re my favorite photographer so far. I’ve only been working with Donnie for a week, so maybe I’m judging too quickly, but…”
She looked over my body slowly, her eyes lingering in certain places. I’d been so occupied with Kayla that I’d been truly oblivious to what this girl was doing. I was used to older women like Marci hitting on me, but whenever I shot models, things were professional. Occasionally a model would talk with me afterwards, but that was a rare occurrence.
I was flattered, but my only goal for the remainder of the day was to go home and look over my photos of Kayla hanging in my darkroom.
“So, what’re you doing tonight?” she Stephanie asked.
“Working on my photos, actually,” I said dismissively.
“That sounds like fun,” she grinned. “Do you need an assistant?”
Kayla only wants to have sex, I thought to myself. We’re not exclusive and she’s repeatedly said that’s how she wants it. So, we’re not exclusive…
I had the thought for only a moment, but I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want Kayla. I knew that even if I simply went out for a coffee (or a more alcoholic beverage) with Stephanie, I would be thinking of Kayla the entire time. I didn’t think it would be fair to Stephanie or me or Kayla, for some reason.
“I work better alone, actually,” I said. While this wasn’t a lie, it did feel somewhat harsh to say.
She finally appeared to take the hint. She was graceful though, not showing any visible signs of disappointment.
“Well, I hope you have a good weekend,” she said. “I might go out tonight, maybe drink and dance a little. I’m not sure yet.”
“Well, I hope you have an awesome weekend too,” I said.
I was ready to get into my car and leave, but she wasn’t walking away. We smiled at each other.
“Do you have a card?” she asked. “We could exchange numbers. You know, to network and whatever.”
I smirked. I did want to network, but I felt fairly certain that her interest was not for networking purposes.
I was used to beautiful women rejecting me, not the other way around. I had no intention of using her number, but I decided to go with my instincts and take it.
“Yeah, I’ve a card,” I said, reaching into my back pocket. Before I could hand my card to her, she was already writing down her phone number and social media site on a piece of paper for me.
We traded our information. She rubbed my card between her fingers.
“I like your card,” she said. “Do you do independent photoshoots?”
“I do mostly those, actually,” I said. “I only just started getting lucky with these bigger gigs.”
She chuckled, giving me an interesting look. “I’m glad to hear that.”
I waved goodbye to Stephanie and got into my car, driving away with my mind racing.
If things aren’t going to happen with Kayla, why push other women away? You know if you were totally single and not hooking up with anyone, a girl like that wouldn’t have talked to you. Don’t feel bad at all. She was nice. And, she was pretty cute.
It would be so easy to call this new girl up, go get drinks, dance, and mess around… I could invite Grant along and he could bring a date. It would be fun.
But, it would be distracting. My focus was on Kayla and I liked it that way.
Chapter 14
Kayla
As soon as I walked onto the set at the Vicki Verelli shoot, featuring the Donnie T. & Allison Black Agencies, I noticed a shift in the room.
There were models, agents, and photographers everywhere. The photographers and agents paid little attention to me, but several models dropped their voices to whispers upon my arrival. In large groups, one or two would stare at me with open animosity.
“Who the fuck is that and why the fuck is she here?” a Vicki agent mumbled.
Vicki’s models and crew were the rudest, but I figured that was because they’d never seen me before. The few models from Allison Black seemed more interested in keeping the attention on themselves than looking at me.
In my group, there were several models who I didn’t know or barely recognized. Donnie had a problem holding onto models for long periods, whether by his own fault or because they received other opportunities. He would sometimes get jealous when he felt he wasn’t being validated enough by the girls and that jealousy would morph into a callousness that models didn’t have the patience to deal with.
I really didn’t care what the models were saying about me. I was there to work and do my job well. I didn’t need their approval.
While I organized clothes, I kept pushing away thoughts about the person who had been giving me approval. I was there to make Donnie T. look good and thoughts of
Justin would inevitably distract me. Any distractions would detract from my job performance and I couldn’t risk that. Still, I thought about how cool it would be if he suddenly showed up, invited at the last minute by Donnie.
We had four photographers with us who had worked with us many times before. Sometimes, when the back door opened, I would look up and wonder if it would be Justin, gliding in with his Canon. Fortunately, Justin never showed up and I was able to keep my focus.
I coordinated with Vicki’s director and the shoot unfolded in an orderly and timely fashion. The only time I got nervous was when I helped Natalia get dressed. Fortunately, she didn’t pick a fight. She wanted to make a good impression too, so she maintained a professional persona throughout the entire day.
I tried to assist Vicki’s photographers, but they bluntly declined my offers. Part of me was glad they didn’t need me, because I was always needed in my group. Our photographers would sometimes get nervous when shooting Vicki’s well-known models and I was needed to silence their nerves and build their confidence.
Even though tensions were high and the Donnie T. group felt horribly inferior to the others, the shoot went well. By the end, everyone was exhausted.
After the shoot, I decided to partake in a granola bar and bottle of water. I ate and drank quickly, because I hadn’t eaten lunch during the hectic day.
I leaned against my car, watching as people left the grounds and individually left the property. Sometimes, a model would drive by me and shoot me one last scathing look before disappearing. I wondered if they enjoyed watching me eat my granola bar. They would likely tease me for eating anything. As Natalia drove by with a fellow model in the front seat, I could tell exactly what she thought of me. She said something insulting to the other model and shot me a disgusted look before she pulled out of the parking lot.
One of our newer models, a cute redhead named Stephanie, was parked two spaces away from me. We hadn’t spoken much, but she was sweet. We smiled at each other as she walked up. I looked away, expecting some sort of judgmental look to spread across her face.
“You don’t have another granola bar on you, do you?” Stephanie asked.
I turned around to face her. She had a hand on her stomach and a hungry look in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just fucking starving. I thought maybe you’d have…”
“Oh!” I said. I looked down at my purse, rifling through to see if I had something else on me. I knew I didn’t have another granola bar and in that moment, I was frustrated with myself for being so ill-prepared.
“It’s okay, I was just curious,” said Stephanie.
“I’m so sorry, normally I’ve more than one with me,” I said apologetically.
“No worries,” she said. “Have a good night.”
I glanced into my car, spotting an unopened bag of pretzels in the backseat.
“I know they’re fattening,” I said. “But, I have pretzels, if you want them.”
“Oh yes, please!” said Stephanie as she hurried over to me. I got the pretzels out of the car and tossed the bag to her.
“Sorry, normally I’ve healthier things to eat than that…”
“Are you kidding? This is great! I just wanted something salty and filling.”
She tore the bag open and dug into the pretzels. I was surprised to see a fit model gulp down such a fattening snack. I felt like I had spotted a rare animal in the wild.
“I’m sorry, I’m being so gross,” Stephanie said. “I just haven’t eaten anything since this morning.”
“I hadn’t eaten anything all day either,” I said truthfully.
“And you’re only going to eat that granola bar? Girl, you’re going to get sick.”
I laughed. “I’ll eat something more substantial when I get home.”
“Where do you live?” she asked.
“Newark,” I answered.
“Wow, that’s a long drive,” she said. “I couldn’t work that far from where I lived.”
“What about you?” I asked.
“Just outside Brooklyn,” she said. “It’s crazy traffic, I don’t know how you can ever make it on time from Jersey.”
“I find a way,” I said. I crumpled up my granola wrapper and threw it in my car. “Usually I leave really early, lots of car karaoke on the way to work.”
“I love singing in the car,” said Stephanie. “How long have you worked with Donnie?”
“Longer than anyone else in his organization, I think,” I replied with chuckle.
“Do you like it?” she asked.
“Yeah, it’s a great job,” I nodded. “I’m happy being with Donnie T.”
“Do you think I did a good job today?” she asked, a nervous expression crossing her face.
This was a rare animal, indeed. No model ever asked for my input on their job performance. They just wanted me to be there and keep them happy, sexy, and successful. At first, I worried she was being sarcastic, but I knew that was just my own insecurities caused by Natalia and the other models. I relaxed.
“You did an excellent job. You’ll go far,” I said with a smile. “Keep up the good work.”
“Thanks,” she said, beaming. “I had a lot of fun today. Did you see some of the girls over at Allison Black? Some of them were fine as fuck.”
I laughed, nodding in agreement. “There were a lot of hot models in the room today, no doubt.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” she scoffed. “I wish I looked like some of those girls. My skin is too pale, you can see every freckle on my body.”
It never ceased to amaze me how a woman as stunning as Stephanie could doubt her beauty or question her looks in the same manner that my overweight friend Bethany did. I stopped trying to understand it a long time ago.
“Hey, I’ve got freckles too,” I said. “They’re not so bad.”
“I’m just glad the shoot was today,” she said. “My next week is going to suck.”
“Why, what’s happening next week?”
She gave me a meaningful look and somehow, I understood it.
“Oh,” I said with a nod.
“Yeah,” she sighed. “I’ve been trying to get some before the fucking cramps start, but I keep striking out! Really, no man or woman will get me drunk and have their way with me! I don’t get it.”
I laughed again. “If you’re striking out, then there’s no hope for any of us.”
She gave me a peculiar grin. “You want to go out and get drunk?”
I’d been receiving so much of Justin’s attention lately that I wasn’t sure if I mistook her invitation for something it wasn’t…
“What, and you want me to have my way with you?” I asked jokingly.
She raised her eyebrows and hummed. She looked over my body. Her eyes felt similar to Justin’s when he would check me out…
“Wait, are you being serious?” I asked.
“Why not?” she asked, shrugging. She bit her lip.
“Well… I’m straight, so that might be a problem,” I said with a light laugh.
“Completely straight?”
“I think so,” I said.
“You’ve never… you know, messed around with a model?” she asked.
“Nope,” I answered. “Male or female. I keep it pretty professional.”
“Wow, kudos to you,” she said.
“In all fairness, I’ve never had a model come onto me before,” I said honestly. “You’re the first.”
“No, are you serious?” she said with genuine surprise. “Wow, I’m so sorry. I figured you probably get it a lot. You’re such an awesome, fierce woman.”
“Well, I’m not trying to be,” I said, slightly embarrassed. My cheeks were flushed.
“No pressure, but it could be fun,” she said with a wink.
I laughed at the absurdity of the situation. After my recent exploits with Justin, I was beginning to think I’d entered a dream world. One where everyone found me attractive. Stephanie’s smile never b
roke, even as I laughed like an idiot.
“What?” she asked.
“I don’t have guys coming onto me hardly ever,” I informed her. “I’m not used to girls, especially models, coming onto me. Really, it’s just sort of…”
“You’ve worked with the Donnie T. Agency for how many years?” she asked. “And, you haven’t made trouble with someone you work with? It can really be fun.”
“I didn’t say I’d never ‘made trouble,’” I corrected. “Just not a model or a woman. Why didn’t you go out tonight with some of the other models?”
She shrugged, giggling.
I felt tiny amounts of jealousy throughout the entire conversation with Stephanie, but it was hard to harbor any sort of bitterness toward her. It wasn’t just about her invitation. I liked her as a person and I was grateful that Donnie hired someone like her.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’ll have to decline,” I said.
“No worries,” she said again. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“No, not at all,” I assured her. “It’s just… I don’t know, the last week or so has been weird. Can you keep a secret?”
“Always,” she said, instantly becoming excited by the idea of gossip.
“I’ve been making trouble with someone I work with,” I said quietly.
“No way- Donnie?”
“What? No,” I said quickly. “Hell no, not Donnie. I would never.”
“Has he come onto you at all?”
“It’s hard to tell with Donnie sometimes,” I said. “He’s hit on you, I’m sure.”
“Yeah,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But, it’s cool. It happens a lot.”
“Well, it’s going to keep happening, so watch yourself,” I warned. “But no, actually… Well, we hire a lot of freelance photographers. It’s someone that we just hired.”
“Nice!” she said. “You like him?”
“He’s really cool,” I nodded. “I’m hoping to see him again soon.”
“Is he cute?”
“Very.”
“Well, good for you!” she said, playfully smacking my arm. “I’m jealous, I sort of got turned down by one of our photographers just yesterday.”