He turned again, and there was Cole Randall, the man who’d trained him to shift back and forth so easily, the man who’d shown him that there was no separation between himself and the wolf.
“I thought you left,” said Ryder, feeling confused. “I thought you left. I thought you stopped spending your time with Enoch.”
“You were always the best at this, Ryder,” said Cole. “You were always the only one who could lose himself in the change. You can do it now. Be the wolf.”
Ryder, screamed a female voice far, far away. Ryder, wake up.
* * *
Calla was afraid that Ryder had a concussion, and she knew that she needed to wake him up. She couldn’t remember exactly why people needed to be awakened when they had concussions, but she knew it was bad for him to sleep for too long.
If he had a concussion. She wasn’t sure. Maybe he didn’t.
But he’d been hit over the head with a chair, and it had knocked him out. That couldn’t be good.
She shook him violently, so violently that his teeth knocked together.
Abruptly, his eyes opened. He struggled away from her, turning over on one side and vomiting.
She sat back, unsure of what to do. Was it her fault that he’d thrown up?
He turned back to her, wiping his mouth. “Who are you?” he said.
“I’m Calla,” she said. “You’re talking again.”
“Where’s my father?” said Ryder.
“What?” she said.
CHAPTER TEN
Ryder had never seen this woman before in his life. He had no idea where he was. He was outside somewhere, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt and…
Hell, was that his body? It didn’t look quite right. It was too big. His shoulders weren’t that broad, and he seemed to have sprouted more hair everywhere. He’d never been an exactly hairy guy, and he wasn’t sure that he’d qualify for that description now, but there was more of it on his chest and stomach. He touched it, feeling panic rising inside him.
“Where am I?”
“I don’t know,” said the woman. “Jasper brought us out here, and he won’t tell me where we are, and he won’t let me live.”
“Jasper? Is he here?” He sat up, looking for his brother. But the sudden movement sent shards of pain through his head and neck. He cried out, clutching his temples.
“Shh… careful.” The woman touched him. “I don’t think you should move too fast. You got hit over the head. You might have a concussion.”
His head did ache miserably. He groaned. He let the woman help him lie down on his back, but further away from the place where he’d vomited all over the ground.
“Jasper will be back this evening,” said the woman. “Hopefully before Leroy comes back.”
“Leroy? Leroy Foster?”
“I… I don’t know.” She hugged herself. “I never got his last name. But he was horrible, and he said that you owed him money or service or… something.”
Ryder groaned. So Enoch had sent Leroy to collect, had he? “But… it shouldn’t be so soon. I had years to pay back the debt. Ten years.”
The woman chewed on her lip. “Ryder? What year is it?”
He told her.
She swallowed. “No. It’s not. That was ten years ago.”
“What?”
“I think you have a concussion,” she said. “I think you’ve lost your memory. It happens sometimes with concussions.” She paused. “I think.”
Ryder couldn’t fathom what she was saying. His head hurt, and he didn’t know where he was, and his last clear memory of this was… was… “I changed,” he muttered. “I shifted into a wolf. I was going to stay a wolf forever. Cole taught me how to do it. If you fall deep enough inside the animal, then it’s like you’re not even a man anymore. It was the only way to protect myself from Enoch.” He furrowed his brow. “Did you say Leroy was here?”
“Well, he hit you over the head and then he ran into the woods.”
“Shit.” He tried to sit up again.
But she stopped him. “Lie down. It’s better if you don’t move. I think.”
“Are you a nurse or something?”
“No, I’m a high school English teacher.”
“Great,” he muttered. He eyed her. “Man, I wish my high school teachers were as hot as you.” She was just the kind of woman he found attractive. Maybe she was a little old for him, but she was all tits and ass and soft curves. He could just imagine what it would be like to be pressed between her legs.
The woman blushed, as if she could tell what he was thinking.
The thought had come unbidden to his head, and now he was distracted by his attraction, by a burgeoning arousal. He shouldn’t be thinking about this. He should be thinking about… “Leroy. If he’s out there, we’re both in trouble. Leroy’s the worst of Enoch’s trained dogs. He’s like a pit bull. He’ll tear us to shreds.”
“I know he’s horrible, but there isn’t anything we can do.” She turned and peered out into the woods, her expression nervous. “Hopefully, Jasper will come back soon. Maybe I can convince him to let us go this time.”
“Let us go?”
“Yeah. If you keep talking, then there won’t be any reason—”
“Keep talking? What do you mean?” Ryder yawned. He felt tired. He just wanted to go back to sleep. He let his eyes flutter closed. Maybe he didn’t care what she said.
“No, don’t fall back asleep.” She shook him.
He opened his eyes, feeling annoyed.
“You shouldn’t sleep.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, but it’s bad.”
“You don’t know anything about it, really, do you? You’re a teacher.”
“Well, I read about concussions. And we’re out in the middle of nowhere, and we can’t get an ambulance or a doctor or anything. So, you just have to stay awake.”
He stared up at the sky. It was so blue. He felt confused. “I’m supposed to be a wolf. I wasn’t ever going to change back. I was going to stay in wolf form forever.”
“Why?” She cocked her head at him.
“Because I didn’t want Enoch to find me.”
“Did you really join his awful cause? Did you want to kill people?”
Ryder licked his lips. “You know about that, huh?”
“Leroy was talking about it.”
“They made it seem different. Especially Cole. Cole Randall.”
“The wolf serial killer?” she said, horrified.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, that was only maybe three years ago. Of course you wouldn’t know. You can’t remember anything for the past five years. I think it might be temporary, though. Maybe it will all come back.” She gave him a hopeful look.
“What do you mean, serial killer?”
“He was all over the news. He was a werewolf killing deliberately, not like most wolves that just go nuts and kill at the full moon. He was doing it all on purpose. And his name was Cole Randall.”
“Well, it could be the same person. They worked together, Cole and Enoch. Enoch recruited people, and Cole trained us to shift back and forth between wolf and human forms. He taught us to get in touch with our wolf sides. That was what was so powerful about it for me. When I was a wolf, I felt so… at one with everything. The whole world was simpler then, you know?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head.
Of course she didn’t know. She wasn’t a werewolf, after all. He could smell that about her.
“But Cole left.” Ryder remembered that. “He didn’t want Enoch telling him what to do. He was going to do it on his own. He wouldn’t let any of us come with him…”
“How could you join something like that? The cause is just… killing people.” The way she understood it, Enoch wanted to allow werewolves to go free and kill people. Leroy had said something about saving the planet by killing the humans, restoring the balance of nature. The concept gave her chills.
“It didn’t seem like that,” said Ryder. “It seemed like a good idea when they were explaining it. Like it was inevitable, like it was just about nature taking its course. It was only when I realized that Enoch wanted us to go out and actually kill people that I changed my mind.”
“You did?” She looked relieved.
“Of course I did. I couldn’t do that, not even in wolf form. I couldn’t just kill innocent people.”
“Oh, good. I was afraid that you were a really horrible person.”
“I’m not,” he said.
She was quiet.
He looked her over again. She really was sexy. He yawned another time. “Can’t I just take a nap?”
“No,” she said. “I told you, you might have a concussion.”
“But I feel so tired.” He made a face.
“You still haven’t explained to me why you were going to stay in wolf form forever,” she said.
He felt really sleepy. He wanted to close his eyes. Maybe just for a minute…
She was shaking him. “Ryder. Tell me about it. Tell me why.”
“It was safer that way,” he said, yawning again. “That way, I didn’t think that Enoch would ever be able to find me. And it was easy. I just slipped into the wolf, let the wolf overtake everything in my mind. I shut out all my thoughts of being human, and I went deep, deep into the wolf. It was bliss and peace and joy and…” He wanted that again. Maybe he’d get that if he closed his eyes.
“Ryder, no.” She was shaking him. “Why didn’t you want Enoch to find you?”
“Because he knew that I wasn’t interested in the cause anymore.” He shut his eyes.
“Wake up, Ryder.”
He groaned.
“Why did it matter if you were interested in the cause?”
“Because I owed him, see.” He wasn’t going to open his eyes. He could stay awake with his eyes closed. It was just more peaceful this way.
“Ryder!”
“What?” He was starting to find this woman annoying.
“What do you mean, you owed him?”
“He lent me money, back when I still lived at home with my dad. He lent me enough money so that I could buy a car and leave home. Break out on my own. He said that—as long as I was helping the cause—I’d never have to pay back a cent.” He was drifting. He wanted to go to sleep, and it tugged on him, drawing him down, down, down.
“Ryder!” she was yelling. “What if you didn’t help the cause?”
“Then I owed it all with interest,” he mumbled. “So, I was going to hide. I was going to be a wolf, and he was never going to find me.” That was all. Sleep was overtaking him. He couldn’t fight it. He didn’t even want to fight it. He wanted to rest.
So he surrendered to his fatigue and let the drowsiness have him. Everything in the world faded away, and he was snug and warm as he drifted off.
* * *
Calla shook him, her body in a frenzy. “Wake up, wake up, wake up!” she screamed.
He didn’t.
Oh God, what if he was dead? She frantically felt for his pulse. It was beating away, strong and reassuring.
She didn’t know what to do. She was beginning to question herself, anyway. Maybe she’d read about that not-waking-up-a-concussed-person thing in an article about medical myths. Maybe it was okay for him to sleep after all.
She sat back on her heels, surveying him sleeping there. She was starting to piece this whole thing together now. Ryder had changed into a wolf to escape Leroy and everything he represented. He had wanted free of Leroy’s horrible ‘cause.’ But he’d stayed in wolf form for too long, and he’d lost his human side. She felt sorry for him. He’d made a mistake, and he’d been trapped, and he hadn’t had any choices.
She could see that deep down, he really was a good man. Any violence that was in him was directed against people who deserved it. She liked Ryder. She had found him attractive since the moment she’d seen him, but she was happy to know that she wasn’t hot and bothered by a man who had a bad character.
Was he cured now?
She shook him again. “Wake up,” she whispered.
Nothing.
He continued to breathe evenly, and he looked so peaceful asleep.
But what if something terrible was happening to him because of his concussion? She wished she knew what to do.
She shook him again. Harder this time.
His eyes opened.
“Ryder?”
He didn’t say anything. But when she peered into his eyes, she saw that they were dull and unintelligent again. That spark inside him was gone somehow.
It made her angry, so she shook him again. “Stop it. I know you’re in there. Say something.”
Ryder pulled away from her, and he whimpered at the sudden movement. He settled on his haunches, hanging his head. He was obviously in pain.
Damn it.
He thought he was a wolf again.
“You’re a person,” she said to him. “You can talk. Say something. Please, say something.”
He didn’t.
She took him into the tent, finally, and had him lie down. She was even more confused about the sleeping thing now. She was ninety percent sure that she’d actually read that it was a myth, and that people with a concussion should get their rest.
So, she just let him sleep there in the tent. And she watched him.
The sun reached its apex—noon. And then it began its slow descent down the other side of the sky.
The afternoon dragged on with no sign of Leroy. The overalls that Jasper had given her got hot, so she removed them. But she felt self-conscious moving around in just her top, so she sat at the edge of the tent.
She wondered what she’d tell Jasper when he arrived. Would he believe her that Ryder had spoken?
Did it matter if it did?
She was pretty sure what had happened to him had only been a side effect of his concussion. He’d experienced temporary amnesia. When he woke up again, the amnesia had corrected itself and Ryder was a wolf again. Maybe there was no hope for his recovery after all.
But then why had he talked before?
What had caused it?
She crawled back into the tent and knelt down next to him. His skin was golden and smooth. He had a tiny bit of hair on his stomach, but it was a sort of peach fuzz that she found very appealing. She had an urge to run her fingers through it.
Don’t be silly, Calla, a voice inside her head scolded. This is a mentally ill man with a serious injury. You can’t molest him in his sleep.
And yet, the notion wouldn’t leave her mind. It was so strong that she couldn’t help herself. She reached out and ran her hands over the hard muscles of his stomach.
He felt incredible under her fingertips. He was firm and solid, like stone, but he was warm and alive. And his skin was silky smooth except for the places where his hair grew. It provided a scratchy bit of contrast. She liked touching him.
He sighed in his sleep.
She pulled her hand back, feeling guilty.
He stirred, eyes fluttering open.
She peered into them, and she couldn’t tell if she saw the dull eyes of the wolf or the sharp intelligence of the man. She only knew that the being lying next to her was beautiful and powerful, and that some part of her—some deep, primal part—wanted him.
So when he reached for her, pulled her face down to his to kiss her, she didn’t resist.
She let him fit his lips to hers, let him ease his tongue inside her mouth.
It felt lovely. She sighed against his lips.
His hands began to roam over her body. One hand found her bare legs, another was working at her shirt, pushing it up to expose her flesh.
She felt the familiar trepidation at allowing him to do this, but another part of her no longer cared. After everything she’d been through recently, she was shaken and confused, and she knew that this felt good. She knew that she wanted him. She surrendered to his touch.
He
rolled her over onto her side. He pressed his body against her, and she wrapped her thighs around him. He ran his hand from behind her knee to all the way up her leg—back and forth.
Goosebumps puckered on her skin. Her breath started to come in gasps.
He pushed at her shirt, pushed it all the way up, and now her bra was uncovered.
She touched his bare chest again, felt how muscular and warm he was. He seemed so alive, and his body was so perfect that she could hardly believe she was actually touching it.
He passed his thumb over her bottom lip and looked deep into her eyes. “P… pretty,” he whispered.
She touched his lips too. “You spoke,” she whispered.
He kissed her again, kissed her deep and forcefully. His fingers trailed over the bare flesh of her leg, going higher to cup the curve of her ass. And his other hand fondled one of her breasts through her bra.
The pleasure was searing. She hadn’t been touched this way in so long, and she didn’t think anyone who’d done it had ever seemed to enjoy it as much as Ryder was. She let out a tiny breathy sound.
His lips moved away from her mouth, kissing her jaw, kissing the hollow of her neck.
She arched her back, gasping, giving herself to him.
“If you let me… finish this,” he murmured, “then… I won’t… lose it.”
“Lose it?” she said. Her head was swimming with satisfaction. What was he talking about? She decided she didn’t care. She didn’t care why he was speaking. She didn’t care if he stopped and never started again. She liked the way this felt too much to stop it. She was going to let it happen, and consequences be damned. For all the hell she knew, Leroy would come back into the camp and bludgeon them both to death with the remnants of the camp chair. These could be her last hours on earth. She was going to spend them feeling good.
“Lose…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s so hard to… to…”
She put a finger over his lips. “Shh… It doesn’t matter. I don’t care.” She pushed herself up a little bit, and she tore her shirt over her head, feeling reckless. “I want you to be my wild man. I want you to ravish me. I want—”
He was kissing her fiercely, cutting off her words, and his body against hers did in fact feel wild and unbound. He tore at her bra, ripping it from her body and baring her breasts. When he saw them, he sucked in breath audibly, and then buried his face in them.
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