Past Forward- A Serial Novel: Volume 4

by Chautona Havig

  “Be?”

  The girl flushed. “Well, I don’t mean to be offensive. You just don’t expect to meet someone… like him out on a farm.” Her face went deep red. “Oh, that sounds just awful. I didn’t mean to be—”

  Willow interrupted. “He’s a little girly, isn’t he? Chad said something about him being more like my friend Bill than the Tesdalls. Bill is kind of a sissy when it comes to the farm and Chad thinks Josh will be too.”

  “Where did you meet him?”

  “He was the one who helped me find the fabrics for the wedding. He has amazing fabric and fashion sense. I thought it was odd at first, but then I remembered mother talking about men like Monsieur Worth and more recently Christian Dior, and I realized that men have always been interested in women’s fashions and things.”

  A voice from the doorway interrupted them. “Thanks Willow. Not everyone understands that.”

  “Oh, Josh—” Becca blushed furiously. “I had no business discussing you like that. Willow didn’t bring it up—”

  “I don’t mind. People tend to find me a bit of an enigma. I’m not what they think—” he paused letting the words sink in and register. “—and I’m not like a lot of other men so they don’t know how to categorize me.”

  “Well,” Willow said testily. “Perhaps people should quit trying to categorize everyone in the first place.”

  “Perhaps,” agreed Josh and Becca in unison. Josh continued with an amused smile, “But it’s natural to want to know where you stand in relation to everyone else, so you categorize. It’s just human nature.”

  Willow slid the pizzas from the oven and arranged them on a platter. “Ok, time to eat.” She tossed her apron onto the counter and grabbed the platter and salad bowl, nodding at plates and silverware. “Can you guys grab those?”

  Willow and Chad said little during lunch. Instead, they watched their guests. Becca and Josh joked, laughed, and, it seemed to her, forged a nice friendship. Considering they both lived in Rockland, that seemed like a good thing.

  “So, we were going to try to card wool today,” Willow began after everyone declared themselves overfull. “What do you think Josh—too crafty for you?” An excited look grew in her eyes. “You and Chad could go out with the paintball guns!”

  “I think—” Josh began giving Becca and Chad amused glances that left Willow in a state of utter confusion. “I think I’d rather see how wool carding works.”

  Willow jumped from the table eagerly. “Let’s get the dishes—”

  “I’ll do them, Willow, you guys go get your wool stuff and have at it.” Chad kissed her cheek and pushed her toward the door. “Go, woman!”

  “I’m under orders, I guess.”

  While Chad washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and pulled the chicken from the icebox, readying it for a slow roast on the grill, Willow, Josh, and Becca congregated in the living room. She passed out towels, handed everyone a wad of washed fleece and referred to her notes. “Ok, it says pull the locks from the fleece. You’re supposed to separate them into individual locks that aren’t interlocked with the rest of the fleece—I guess.”

  They all worked until Willow thought she had a large enough pile on the coffee table. “Ok. Who wants to keep separating?”

  Josh insisted he do it. “I can’t mess this up. You guys do whatever you need to do.”

  “Ok, Becca, now we take these locks and we separate them. The instructions say to pull them apart sideways. We’re supposed to discard any really short pieces or if there is any leftover ‘dirt or debris.’”

  “I can’t believe you’re just doing this without any kind of instruction.” Becca’s voice was heavy with admiration. “I’d be afraid of ruining an expensive fleece!”

  “This is how the Finley women learned everything,” Chad called from the kitchen. “If they don’t already know it instinctively, they just teach themselves.”

  Willow shrugged. It made sense to her. She couldn’t understand why anyone would refrain from doing something just because they didn’t know how. If everyone did that, no one would learn anything. Seeing them waiting for her reply, she said as much.

  “Wow.”

  Josh grinned at Becca’s response. “I’ve come to the conclusion that ‘wow’ must be the most commonly used word around Willow.”

  “Got that right!” Chad’s voice boomed from the kitchen.

  “You oughtta know!” Josh shouted back, winking at Becca.

  Becca smiled back before asking, “So now we just separate all of these?”

  “Yep. Once we get enough, I’ll play with the card paddles. I got two sets because I thought Chad would be helping.” Her words grew louder as she teased her absent husband.

  “A guy offers to clean the kitchen and all he gets is complaints, complaints, complaints,” came his voice from the kitchen.

  Becca and Josh exchanged wistful looks as Willow jumped and dropped the wool from her lap. She raced to the kitchen where it became obvious, even from the living room, that a serious tickle fest was in full swing. “Can you believe how amazingly happy they are?”

  Josh shook his head. “By the time I got done helping her that day in the store, I really wished that he’d dump her at the altar and she’d try to return the fabric. I so wanted to ask her out.”

  “Really?”

  “What guy wouldn’t want to get to know someone like Willow?”

  She hesitated and then risked complete honesty. “A guy who was concerned she’d take his interest the wrong way.”

  “Well, that guy wasn’t me. I was interested all right, but once I met Chad—I knew. He’s perfect for her. Drat it all.”

  Josh watched as she carefully separated lock after lock, ignoring the banging of the screen door and the squeals that now echoed around the house outside. “So they said you’re visiting a friend here. Where are you from?”

  “Rockland.”

  “Really? Wow. What part?”

  “Old residential on the south side. Near Madison Park.”

  Josh’s eyes lit up. “Really? I’m not too far from there. I moved back in with my parents after—” He hesitated. “After I escaped a lifestyle that I never really wanted.”

  “I wondered,” she admitted quietly.

  “I know. You were more tactful than most. I appreciate it.”

  Becca struggled with unasked questions until Josh assured her he didn’t mind if she asked them. “I really only have one but it’s just none of my business.”

  “Assume it is and just ask.”

  “Why did? I mean, if you didn’t want it in in the first place—”

  “I felt trapped by expectations. Everyone said that I was gay. Eventually, I believed them, and then once in that life, I felt even more trapped than ever. Then I met Barney—he’s the pastor—”

  “Barney? He’s my pastor! You go to the mission?” Becca saw her surprise mirrored in Josh’s eyes.

  “I don’t believe this. I’ve never seen you there!”

  Chad and Willow stood outside the screen door hesitant to listen but even more hesitant to interrupt the conversation within. Finally, Chad led her away from the door, down the steps, and around the barn to the tree swing. “Let them talk. I think something is there.”

  “Something?”

  “He’s interested, and she’s not immune to it.”

  Willow’s eyes widened in horror. “But Adric—”

  “She has no obligation, Willow. Would you want her to choose Adric over someone she prefers just because she signed up to get to know him?”

  Sighing, Willow shook her head and jumped on the swing. “No. I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

  “Someone is going to get hurt. Before all of this girl-of-the-month stuff is over, someone will get hurt. There’s no way to avoid it.”

  “Then why do it Chad? Why put people through that?”

  “Everyone is willing to risk it on the chance that they meet the right person.” He hesitated. Willow came from suc
h a different worldview than he did. Would she understand? “I would have probably tried something like that eventually—if the opportunity arose. I’m not an outgoing person. I’d had so much trouble with girls—well girl—already, that having someone pre-screen, having recommendations from their pastors—” he shrugged. “I think at Adric’s age especially, I’d have done it in a heartbeat.”

  “So are Josh and Becca just interested because they have things in common—church and stuff, or is there something else there that I’m missing.”

  Chad smiled as he pushed her higher. “Get ready for a very confused young woman. There’s more to it than that. She’s so concerned with making everyone happy—this is going to tear her up.”

  By three o’clock, Becca and Willow carded in a semi-rhythmic flow. Chad and Josh spent their time pulling locks, separating them, and joking about everything from Willow’s naïveté to the natural way Becca took to Willow’s lifestyle. Willow and Becca occasionally sent balls of wool in their direction as if wool fluff could possibly stop the barrage of jokes and teasing.

  The wool flying through the air reminded Willow of North and South. “‘I have seen hell and it is white. It is snow white.’”

  “What?” Becca looked at Chad as if Willow had lost her mind.

  “It’s from a movie my mom got her.” An impish glint filled Chad’s eyes. “She loves that movie—she really loves the ending best though.”

  “Civil War?”

  “Oh, no!” Willow protested. “Northern vs. Southern England—not the War Between the States.”

  “Did England have a Civil War too?” Becca’s eyes grew wide.

  “Cromwell in the mid-sixteen hundreds. But technically the United States—”

  Chad interrupted. Debate over historical semantics was not likely to be a popular topic of discussion. “It’s about the difference between agricultural southern England with its gentility and proximity to London verses the northern industrial cities like Manchester.”

  “Sounds an awfully lot like the United States.” Josh’s surprise was echoed by Becca’s nod.

  “Well, there are similarities of course, but the British class system was much more ingrained so there were deeper clashes than you found over here,” Willow explained. “The movie is amazing. You see the strengths and weaknesses of all lifestyles. You can imagine it but seeing it on the screen—it’s just overwhelming.”

  As Willow was speaking, Chad stood, retrieved his laptop and the movie, and flipped on the power switch. Within minutes, all four were lost in a world of cotton, mills, gentility, and abject poverty. Willow carded and rolled nearly automatically now. Her eyes rarely left the screen as she worked the paddles back and forth, rolled the batt, and carded again.

  Chad, on the other hand, observed everyone else as they watched the scenes scroll by on the computer screen. Willow was immediately lost in the nineteenth century world of cotton and industrialism. The incongruity of her hand carding wool while watching a movie on a laptop in the middle of her normally electric-free house struck him. Even more than that, the constant attraction between Josh and Becca kept him entertained until the clock struck four-thirty.

  “Oh, I have to go. Gram is probably working on dinner already and—”

  Josh’s face fell. “I didn’t realize— Well, I can see you in Rockland at church I guess.”

  “Sure. I’ll be back this Sunday. We leave Saturday.”

  Willow picked up on the awkward strain and to Chad’s surprise and amusement, delved into her first attempt at matchmaking. “You’ll come back tomorrow though, won’t you Becca? We were going to try out the spinning wheel—”

  “Of course!” Becca was already cleaning up the area around her trying to reduce the mess she’d created as she worked.

  “I’ll get that for you Becca,” Josh insisted. “Let me walk you to your car.”

  Willow smiled knowingly as Josh led Becca out to her car talking quietly as they walked. “You’re right. They’re so cute too.”

  “You are incorrigible.”

  “How?”

  Chad nudged her knee smiling knowingly. “That was a ‘Josh, don’t you want to come back tomorrow’ hint if I’ve ever heard one.”

  “Well, he should know she’s going to be here so when I invite him back, he knows—”

  Chad’s laughter echoed through the window and out to Becca’s car. “It was nice meeting you, Josh. I’m looking forward to seeing you at church.”

  Chad and Willow sank back onto the couch as they saw Becca nod and Josh slam the door shut for her. “They’re going to hit it off beautifully,” Chad murmured.

  “Silly, they already did.”

  “Did what?” Josh’s sounded excited as he entered the door.

  “You two seemed to hit it off…” Chad commented.

  “She’s amazing. I can’t believe we’ve gone to the same church all this time—”

  Willow’s quiet voice interrupted gently. “From the way you’ve spoken about your life, I didn’t think you were ready to meet anyone special before now.”

  “You’re right. I wasn’t. I’m not sure I am now, but I can’t stand the idea of not getting to know her better.”

  With a sidelong glance at Chad, Willow picked up her carding paddles. “So do you have to work tomorrow?”

  “No, I’m off again, why—Oh.”

  “Well, if you find yourself looking for something to do, we’re going to try our hand at spinning tomorrow, and there’s lots of wool left to pull and separate…”

  A huge grin split Josh’s face and the excitement in his voice made his lisp all the more pronounced. That’s so nice of you. Are you serious?”

  “She’s been showing up around ten.”

  “I’ll be here. Thanks.”

  Moonlight flashed across their bed as clouds covered and then drifted away from the moon. Willow lay awake and unmoving knowing that she often woke Chad when she slipped downstairs for her trysts with the Lord. As carefully as she could, she turned on her side and tried resting quietly that way but still felt restless. Chad’s voice came sleepily in her ear.

  “Go downstairs if you like. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  She turned to find his face centimeters away from hers. “I’m sorry. I tried not to wake you up.”

  “You didn’t. Nature calls. But I could tell you weren’t sleeping and I guessed why. Now go downstairs and commune with nature or whatever it is you do.”

  “The Lord, goof,” she commented as she slipped out from under the sheets. “I commune with the Lord.”

  Chad watched her jog down the stairs and listened as the screen door opened and then the soft “whap” as it shut behind her. “Lord, she’s such a multi-faceted person. Every time I think I understand her, there’s something else to discover. I’m starting to think that she’s going to look at me in a few years and think, ‘I married him. Why?’ Don’t let that happen—please.”

  With a sigh, he slipped from the covers and shuffled toward the bathroom. “Oh, and remind me to avoid coffee before bed? I really am tired of these late night trips.”

  Chapter 110

  Josh arrived at nine thirty-five. Willow attempted to stifle snickers as he confessed that he’d driven to Brunswick and back before he decided that wasting gas was not worth the salve to his pride. “Well, come in. I’ve got bread baking.”

  “That’s what smells so good—hey, I have a question for you.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Do I have to confess to Chad that I showed flagrant disregard for the speed limit on my way here?”

  Willow’s grin embarrassed him. “Not unless he asks…”

  “I like you.”

  She shook her head. “I think you have another female in mind.”

  “I was thinking about her last night. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it, but I’ve seen her. She works in the kitchen on Sundays after church. I’ve seen her when I escort the kids to the dining hall for lunch.”

  “
Well,” Willow said smiling. “I think you should go out and take her for a walk. I’m stuck here, and apparently she’s here early.”

  Josh hurried from the house and almost reached Becca’s car in time to open the door. “I’ll have to be faster next time.”

  “You’re here! I thought—”

  “They invited me back and well I—” Josh hesitated. How do you tell someone you’ve barely met that you drove back at break-neck speed in order to see you again without sounding desperately pathetic.

  “I’m glad you came.” She whispered the words, her expression pained.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Maybe I can explain later. I should go in—” Becca gestured toward the kitchen as if to say, “don’t you want to come in too?”

  “Actually, Willow suggested we take a walk. Something about her bread.”

  They started toward the field where the annual “Dinner” cow and the sheep grazed. He didn’t care to admit it, but the sight of the large animals unnerved him. “How dangerous are cows anyway?”

  “Willow says they’re safe. They pretty much leave everyone alone, but we only have to cross that corner. We could run for it before they got to us if we had to.” Becca’s voice held a trace of mirth.

  “Stop laughing at me. I’ve never been around big game—”

  “I’m pretty sure sheep aren’t considered big game.”

  Once near the stream, the couple continued to amble along the banks, rarely speaking but communicating much. Finally, Josh’s curiosity overcame him and he sat down in the grassy shade of a tree. “Ok, so you said you’d tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Do you know why I’m here—who I am visiting?”

  “No, you—no one ever said.”

  Blushing, Becca made herself comfortable against the trunk of the tree facing Josh. “It’s kind of a church sponsored ‘Bachelor House.’ I’m here for a month to see if the guy is the one for me.”

  Josh took in her words. It sounded surreal and far-fetched. “As in like the TV show with a dozen half-dressed women and hot tub orgies?”