After hours of soul-searching, Kushida could blame neither fate nor his ancestors for the ills that his own actions, his own history, had created. Across the distance of twenty-five years, he saw the school where he'd learned the art of the spear. He heard the voice of his teacher.
"All your energy must be channeled into the development of combat skill," Sensei Saigo lectured the class. "Don't dissipate your strength in wasteful self-indulgence. At meals, stop eating before you've had your fill; let hunger sharpen your awareness. Abstain from liquor and frivolous recreation, which dull the mind and weaken the body. Above all, resist the temptation to gratify your carnal desires. The spear is your manhood. Through it, you shall find true fulfillment."
Young Kushida had yearned to be a great spear fighter. Hence, he zealously followed Saigo's teachings. Then one day when Kushida was twelve, he discovered in his father's study a book of shunga. The frontispiece was a painting of a beautiful naked woman coupling with a samurai lover. A dark, unfamiliar excitement filled Kushida. Instinctively he reached under his kimono. His hands began a motion they'd never been taught. Excitement culminated in blinding ecstasy-followed by anguish and guilt. He'd committed the self-indulgence that Saigo had warned him against, sacrificing discipline to pleasure.
When he confessed his misdeed, the sensei had assigned him extra combat practice and meditation sessions. At first Kushida yielded to his physical urges often, but eventually he overcame his bad habit. He immersed himself in naginatajutsu, attaining impressive skill, and remained celibate. Even while working near the shogun's women, he could go days, even months, without thinking about sex.
Then Lady Harume came to Edo Castle.
He'd been on duty the day she arrived. When Madam Chizuru introduced her to Kushida, a jolt of recognition rocked him. With her pert face and voluptuous figure, she resembled the girl in the shunga that had provoked Kushida's first orgasm. Repressed desire exploded in him, and the desire focused on Lady Harume, who'd reawakened it.
Confused by lust, Kushida hadn't perceived the danger. He decided there was no harm in merely looking at a woman. Thus he'd begun spying on Harume. Soon he stopped combat practice. At night he would stimulate himself to climax while fantasizing about her. He became aware of the loneliness of a life dedicated solely to Bushido. True fulfillment, he discovered, also required union with a woman.
Gathering his courage, he'd confessed his feelings in letters to Lady Harume. When she ignored them and began avoiding him, he persuaded himself that she was just shy, or afraid. He had something precious to offer her: a heart that had never belonged to another woman; a body unsullied by past amorous adventures. How could she not welcome such a gift? So he took the drastic step of speaking his love. But Lady Harume had repulsed him. Her words still hurt like a deep, festering scratch across Kushida's mind.
"Why do you keep bothering me? When I didn't answer your silly letters, it should have been clear that I don't want anything to do with you." Repugnance distorted Harume's pretty face. "You must be as stupid as you are ugly. You want me to run away with you? Die in a love suicide with you so we can spend eternity together?" Harume laughed. "You're not even fit to breathe the same air as me. Now go away and leave me alone. I never want to see you again!"
Humiliated and furious, Kushida hadn't just shaken Harume and threatened to kill her, as he'd admitted to the sosakan-sama. He'd twisted her arm behind her, covered her mouth when she tried to scream for help, and thrust her into a vacant room. There he'd torn her kimono and forced her to the floor. He meant to kill her, then and there-but first he would have her.
Harume fought back. She bit his hand, and when he loosened his grip, she kicked him in the groin. While he doubled over in speechless agony, Harume laughed. As if to increase his pain, she said, "I already have a lover. I belong to him forever. Soon I shall wear a tattoo that proclaims my love for him, on this body that you want so much." Then she escaped.
In the terrible days that followed, Kushida realized what had happened. He'd thrown away everything-discipline, self-respect, and the serenity of the pure life of Bushido-for a cheap, shallow girl who didn't recognize his worth. A girl who would tattoo herself, like a common whore! Out of love grew hatred. Kushida blamed Harume for his misery. He plotted revenge. He would sneak into her room while she slept and drive his spear through her. He would strangle her with his bare hands, while having his pleasure from her. These violent fantasies aroused him as much as his dreams of love once had. But never had he foreseen that her death would fail to ease either his desire or his jealous anger. He hadn't expected to feel such awful guilt over hurting Harume. He'd tried to steal her diary because he feared she'd recorded his attack on her, but he hadn't anticipated his current sorry predicament.
Now a new sense of purpose grew in him. He didn't want to live without his beloved Harume, but he didn't want to die for her murder, either. The disgrace of a public execution would forever taint his clan's honor. Somehow he must appease Lady Harume's spirit and bring peace to his own, while restoring the honor of his family name.
However, he could accomplish nothing while locked in this cell. Restlessness tormented Kushida like spiders writhing in his muscles; the pressure inside him mounted.
Yohei said, "How about a game of go? It will soothe your mind, young master."
Let me out of here! Kushida almost screamed. He wanted to beat on the walls in rage, yet he forced himself to say calmly, "Thank you for coming, but how can we play go, with you out there and me in here?"
Yohei beamed. "Two boards and two sets of counters. We'll call out our moves and make them for each other."
Though he had no wish to play, a plan formed in Kushida's mind. "All right," he said.
The retainer fetched the equipment. Through the window bars he passed a lacquer container of flat, round black and white pebbles and a four-legged ebony board with a grid of perpendicular lines incised on its ivory surface.
"You may open the game, young master," Yohei said.
Kushida placed a black pebble at the intersection of two grid lines. "Eighteen horizontal, sixteen vertical."
"Four horizontal, seventeen vertical," Yohei responded.
The pressure grew within Kushida as he set a white pebble in place. Every fiber of him tensed; the need for freedom swelled the blood in his veins. He endured the slow, tedious game, making moves at random. From outside the door came loud snores: The guard had fallen asleep.
"Young master, you're not concentrating on the game," Yohei chided. "I've captured almost all your pieces, and you haven't taken any of mine."
Hating to deceive his friend, Kushida said, "You're wrong, Yohei. I'm winning."
Yohei's puzzled face appeared in the window; he squinted, trying to see Kushida's board. "One of us has gotten the moves mixed up."
"It must be me," Kushida said. "I can't keep my mind on the game." Moving close to the window and lowering his voice, he said, "It would be better if we sat together. You could make sure all the pieces are in the right spots."
Yohei shook his head. "I can't let you out, young master. You know that."
"But you can come in here with me." Seeing indecision pucker the old man's forehead, Kushida coaxed, "Come on. As long as you leave before the guard wakes up, he won't care."
"Well..."
Kushida's desperation inspired cunning. "You don't believe I killed Lady Harume, do you, Yohei?"
"Of course not," the loyal retainer said indignantly. Then his certainty wavered. "But you attacked the sosakan-sama and his men."
"I didn't kill Harume," said Kushida. "I didn't even know she was going to tattoo herself, so why would I have poisoned her ink jar? But Sosakan Sano needs to make an arrest, so he framed me. I never broke into his house; I never attacked anyone. It's all a lie!"
Sputtering with outrage, Yohei burst out, "How dare the sosakan-sama falsely accuse my young master? I'll kill him!"
"And end up convicted for murder yourself? No, Yohei, you mustn't.
" Kushida sighed with feigned resignation. "All we can do is wait for the truth to come out. Then my name will be cleared." His skin felt tight, his skull ready to explode from the throbbing pressure. "Now open the door and come inside so we can finish our game. I promise I won't try to escape. You've known me all my life, Yohei. You can trust me." Kushida let his voice quaver: "Besides, I'm lonely. I-I need someone near me."
Yohei's eyes brimmed with love and pity. "All right." He put a finger to his lips and headed toward the door.
Hurriedly, Kushida replaced the go pieces in their container, and tucked it in his kimono. Then came the clank of the door's iron bar as Yohei pulled it out of the brackets. Kushida lifted the go board by its legs and stood to one side of the door, heart pounding. The guard snored on. Slowly the door slid open. Yohei entered the room on tiptoe, holding the candle.
"Young master... ?"
Kushida stuck out his foot. Yohei tripped over it and sprawled on the floor. "What-?!"
In the space of a blink, Kushida leapt over Yohei and into the corridor. "No, young master!" he heard his friend shout. The guard sat against the wall, spear in hand. Hearing the commotion, he stirred. Kushida swung the go board. With the sickening thump of solid wood and ivory against bone, it slammed against the guard's head; he fell unconscious. Kushida flung aside the board, plucked the spear out of the guard's limp hand, then ran down the corridor.
"Please come back, young master!" Yohei called, hobbling after him. "You'll never get away. The yashiki is surrounded. The soldiers will kill you!"
Doors screeched open and cries arose as the noise awakened the household. Troops appeared and began chasing Kushida. "The prisoner is loose!" they cried. "Catch him!"
Legs pumping furiously, Kushida raced for the back door. He glanced over his shoulder and saw two soldiers gaining on him. Pulling the container of go pieces out of his kimono, he tossed it into the soldiers' path. The container hit the floor and the lid popped off, scattering pebbles. Amid surprised yelps, the soldiers slipped, then crashed to the floor.
Kushida flung open the door and burst out into the lantern-lit courtyard, startling two sentries. Wielding his stolen spear with deadly efficiency, Kushida struck their heads with its shaft. They crumpled to the ground. More soldiers leapt off the roof to join the battle, but Kushida was already through the gate. Two slashes of his spear wounded the guards stationed outside. Patrolling troops rushed to the rescue; archers fired arrows. Running for his life, his love, and his honor, Kushida fled into the night.
27
We observed all the correct procedures for house arrest, but the old man let him out," said the commander who had summoned Sano to the Kushida estate. "None of this is our fault."
He gestured angrily around the torch-lit courtyard. There lay four men wounded by Lieutenant Kushida during his escape. Kushida's parents and a few retainers huddled on the veranda of the house, a modest one-story building with half-timbered walls and barred windows. From outside in the street, curious spectators peered through the bamboo thicket.
Sano had been awakened by the arrival of the messenger who had delivered the bad news. Now he stood in the chilly courtyard with Hirata as troops milled around, spectators chattered, and the first azure luminescence of dawn paled the sky. Inwardly he berated himself for losing a suspect. He should have recognized Lieutenant Kushida as an escape risk and denied him the privileges of rank, placing him in Edo Jail instead of under house arrest. Though Sano considered Lady Keisho-in the more likely murderer of Harume, he still didn't believe that the lieutenant had told the complete truth about either his relationship with Harume or his reasons for breaking into Sano's estate. With difficulty, Sano resisted the temptation to vent his anger at himself on the troops for letting a single man overcome them.
"Let's forget about blame for the moment and concentrate on capturing Lieutenant Kushida," Sano said. "What's been done so far?"
"Men are out searching the bancho, but they've sent back no word on Kushida yet. Unfortunately, he's a fast runner."
Kushida could be clear out of Edo by sunrise, Sano thought with a heavy heart. Yet he doubted that leaving town was the lieutenant's whole motive for escaping. Why had he broken house arrest? The answer could be crucial to locating Kushida. Sano told the commander to continue the search. Then, motioning for Hirata to follow, he walked over to the Kushida family and introduced himself.
"Did your son say anything that might tell us why he escaped, or where he was going?" he asked the lieutenant's father.
"I have not spoken to my son since he was suspended from his post." The elder Kushida glared, his simian features set in hard lines. "And his most recent bad behavior did nothing to reconcile us."
Now Sano could better understand Lieutenant Kushida's obsessive passion for Harume: with such an unloving, unforgiving parent, he must have been starved for affection.
Kushida's mother cast a frightened glance at her husband, then nodded toward an old samurai weeping by the door. "Yohei saw him last."
This, then, was the faithful retainer whom Kushida had tricked into opening the cell door.
"Nothing that my young master said or did warned me that he meant to escape," Yohei mourned. "I don't know why he did it."
Staggering forward, Yohei prostrated himself at Sano's feet. "Oh, sosakan-sama, when you catch my young master, please don't kill him! I'm the one who's responsible for what happened tonight. Let me die in his place!"
"I won't kill him," Sano promised. He needed Kushida alive for further questioning. "And I won't punish you if you'll help me find him. Does he have any friends he might run to for help?"
"There's his old sensei-Master Saigo. He's retired now, and lives in Kanagawa."
This village was the fourth station along the Tokaido highway, about half a day's journey away. Sano bade farewell to the Kushida family. Then he and Hirata mounted their horses outside the gate.
"Dispatch messengers down the highway to warn the post station guards to be on the alert for Kushida," Sano told Hirata. "But I'm not convinced he'll leave town."
"Nor am I," Hirata said. "I'll have the police circulate Kushida's description around town and tell the neighborhood gate sentries to watch for him. Then..." Hirata sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. "Then I'll meet Lady Ichiteru."
They parted, and Sano headed back toward Edo Castle to launch troops on a citywide manhunt before attending the trial that Magistrate Ueda wanted him to see. Whether or not Kushida had killed Lady Harume, he was a danger to the citizens. Sano felt responsible for his capture, and any crimes the lieutenant might commit before then.
The trial was already in progress by the time Sano arrived at the Court of Justice. He slipped quietly into the long, dim hall. Magistrate Ueda occupied the dais, his somber face illuminated by lamps on the desk before him, with a secretary on either side. He caught Sano's eye and nodded a greeting. The female defendant wore a muslin shift. Wrists and ankles bound, she knelt before the dais on a straw mat on the shirasu. A small audience knelt in rows in the center of the room.
While a secretary read the date, time, and the names of the presiding officials into the court record, Sano recalled how Reiko had told him about observing proceedings in this court during her youth. He wondered if she was here now, watching from some hidden vantage point, still defying him. Would they ever come together as true husband and wife? Why had her father wanted him to witness this trial?
Then the secretary announced, "The defendant, Mariko of Kyobashi, is charged with the murder of her husband, Nakano the sandal maker. This court shall now hear the evidence. I call the first witness: her mother-in-law.
As the defendant wept, an old woman rose from the audience. Hobbling up to the dais, she knelt, bowed to Magistrate Ueda, then said, "Two days ago, my son suddenly became ill after our evening meal. He gasped and coughed and said he couldn't breathe. He went to the window for some air, but he was so dizzy that he fell on the floor. Then he began vomiting-at first the food he'd
eaten, then blood. I tried to help, but he thought I was a witch who wanted to kill him. I, his own mother!"
The old woman's voice cracked in anguish. "He began thrashing and screaming. I hurried out and fetched a doctor. When we got back to the house just a few moments later, my poor son was lying dead. He was as stiff as that pillar."
Excitement eased the weight of Sano's worry and fatigue. The sandal maker had died of the same symptoms as Lady Harume! Now Sano understood why Magistrate Ueda had summoned him.
"Mariko cooks and serves all our meals," the witness said, glaring at the defendant. "She was the only person to handle my son's bowl before he ate. She must have poisoned him. They never got along. At night she refused to do her wifely duty by him. She hates housekeeping and shopping and sewing, and helping in the store to earn her keep, and taking care of me. We starved and beat her, but even that wouldn't make her behave properly. She killed my son so she could go home to her parents. Honorable Magistrate, I beg you to grant my son justice and sentence that wicked girl to death!"
Sano Ichiro 4 The Concubine's Tattoo (1998) Page 25