Amber’s mouth drops open but she finally nods her head and leaves.
I stand across the room, waiting to see what Lennie plans to say, but once again, she manages to surprise me.
“I know the perfect thing for us to do today.” I keep my eyes locked on Lennie as she acts like my ex being here is no big deal.
“Usually, when I want to do something, I just do it, but the last two times I’ve suggested this it was shot down.”
“Okay, what’s this great suggestion you have?”
“I already know how you’re going to react so please hear me out.” I hate how predictable I am. Thankfully, with Lennie, I’m working past that part of my personality.
“Okay, I promise to keep an open mind.” I emphasized the word promise.
“Remember, you don’t have to do this, but I want to do something that has been on my bucket list for years.” She pauses with a smile on her face. “I want to go skydiving.”
My heart drops to my stomach as her comment washes over me. “You can go with me and watch from the observation deck.”
I wordlessly nod, having no idea how to react. I don’t even like roller coasters, let alone the idea of jumping out of a damn plane.
“So will you go with me?”
I force myself to smile. “Of course I’ll go with you. Actually, I might be pissed if I found out you went without me.”
My stomach starts turning because I know I don’t just want to watch Lennie, I want to experience what life has to offer with her by my side.
***
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO this.” I gulp as I hand the man back the release forms. “I know.” My voice is lacking any emotion.
“Really, Tyler, I don’t want you to do this unless you really want to.”
“I can’t deny that I would never be standing here ready to jump out of a plane without having met you, but I do want to be here, Lennie.”
“Okay. Here’s everything you’ll need. Johnny will help you get your gear on, then we’ll be ready to go,” the man behind the counter says.
Inwardly, I groan as my fear starts to rear its ugly head.
“You’ve got this.” Lennie tightens her hand over mine.
“How can you be this calm about jumping out of a plane?”
Lennie manages to smile even brighter. “Because I stopped fearing death a long time ago.”
My body locks tight with tension. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
As I’m strapping on my gear, I feel more exposed than if I were naked. It’s completely normal to fear jumping out of plane...right?
“Tyler, you don’t fear death. You’ve had a fear of actually living because, whether you realized it or not, what Amber and Brandon did to you hurt you on a level much deeper than you were ready to admit. You stopped living because it was safer.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I can’t come up with anything to say. I did avoid people for years, and that’s not the person I was before Amber broke off our engagement.
“If you’re ready, we are.” Lennie’s eyes remain locked with mine. She’s waiting for me to protest, but that’s not going to happen.
“I’m ready.”
Lennie gives me a small smile. “Me too.” Lennie grabs my hand. “After we leave here, let’s go get drunk.”
I laugh. “Deal.”
I RUN MY HAND OVER my stomach, trying my hardest to force away the pain before I down a couple of pills. The ache in my stomach was hit and miss for a week or better, but now it takes multiple pills to get through the day. I could go to a doctor, but what’s the point? I have ten days left until my appointment with Dr. Ross. If I go anywhere else, I’ll have to admit to my past, and I’d rather enjoy the time I have left and just forget. I want to forget everything and just spend what time I have left with Tyler, no matter how wrong that is.
“Are you feeling okay?” Tyler asks the second I walk out of the bathroom.
“Yeah, sure.” I wave off his comment with a huge smile on my face.
“I’m serious.” Tyler grabs my hand as I start to argue. “Lennie, if something’s wrong, I want you to tell me.”
His voice is softer than normal, causing my heart to tighten even more knowing what I’m about to do. “I’m absolutely fine, I promise.”
Tyler instantly relaxes. “Thank God.” I hate myself for lying to him. On some level, I’m worse than Amber. “Let’s go to bed.”
I nod my head and follow him to his room. Once we’re both in bed, Tyler reaches out and pulls me against him.
“Thank you.” I glance over my shoulder to look at his face. “I can’t say that I’ll ever jump out of a plane again, but I never would have considered doing it if it hadn’t been for you.” Tyler tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Lennie, I don’t want to imagine what my life would be like without you, and I hope I never have to.” Tyler was meant to be a distraction, but the dynamics have changed. He wants forever, and now my only wish is that I could give that to him.
***
“DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO go this early?” Tyler scowls.
“What have I done to you?” I laugh as I roll off the bed. “At this rate, your mother will never like me.”
A brooding look takes over Tyler’s features. “I’m not going to waste my time worrying about my mother and you shouldn’t, either.”
I moved to the edge of the bed. “Get up. If you get your work done while I’m volunteering, then you should be done by the time I get back.”
Tyler groans before climbing out of bed. My eyes instantly cast down at his hard cock.
“Do you see something you like, Ms. Jacobs?”
I exhale softly. “Yes I do but, I’ve gotta go.”
Tyler’s shoulders sag as he sighs in defeat. “Okay. Go walk dogs. I’ll see you later.”
I walk around the bed and place my arms around his neck. “I’ll see you tonight.” My lips briefly touch his before I pull back.
“Tonight.” I don’t linger or we’ll end up back in his bed, and today is my last day volunteering at the hospital—something I want to get over with.
I walk over to Jodi’s to clean up. I dread going to the hospital, but knowing today is my last day and that Tyler will be waiting for me when I’m done makes the idea of going a lot easier.
I WORKED AROUND THE CLOCK for close to six years. In that time, I saved a lot of money, to the point that I’ve drastically cut back the clients I’m working with. The harsh reminder I was given when we arrived home from Galveston was enough for me to know that with Lennie around, I want to take life a little easier. At least until I know for certain that Lennie’s not going to up and disappear on me.
This makes our roles feel reversed. She’s the one who has to be somewhere while I have all the time in the world. It’s with that thought in mind that I head down to the animal shelter. Maybe if I help her walk a few dogs I’ll be able to drag her out of there faster. Selfish, I know, but where Lennie is concerned, I want her all to myself.
I push the front door open, and like normal, Carla is behind the front desk.
“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Beefcake himself.” Carla’s comment causes me to laugh. “What are you up to today? Are you here to borrow a cat to propose with?” Carla busts out laughing.
“Nope, I’m hoping if I give my girl a hand I’ll be able to steal her away faster.”
Carla stops laughing and gives me a strange look. “You must have your days mixed up. Lennie isn’t scheduled to work today.”
My eyes narrow. “No, she said she was volunteering today.” She left me to come here when I practically begged her not to.
“Sorry, kiddo. She specifically said she couldn’t come in today.”
My heart speeds up wondering where the hell she’s at. “You’re right. I must have mixed up the days.”
“No problem, sweetheart. If you don’t see her tonight, I believe she said she would be in tomorrow.” I take a deep breath before nodding my head. I grab my phone as I turn
and walk back out to my vehicle. I quickly send a text asking Lennie where she’s at.
Seconds later, my world stills.
Lennie: I’m volunteering. I should be done in a couple of hours. I’ll meet you at your place.
I pocket my phone and head home.
With Amber, I didn’t pay attention to even one single warning sign. I’m sure if I was even a little in tuned to my fiancée I would have noticed the changes in her. But I know now that I didn’t care enough to pay attention.
The way I feel right now, knowing Lennie lied to me, is beyond anything I’ve felt with Amber. I’m frustrated. I’m pissed, and if I’m being honest...I’m scared.
I’m scared if I call her out, she’ll do the only thing she knows, which is run, but at the same time, how can I sit back and knowingly allow her to lie to me?
Not to mention, where the hell is she? What is she doing that she had to lie in the first place?
As my frustration takes over, I grab a beer and sit down at my computer. A couple of hours and five beers later, Lennie walks in. “I’m so glad to be done,” she groans before taking a seat on my couch. Her hair is wet, like she recently showered.
“How was your day?”
Her eyes wander over to my beer bottle. “You started drinking without me?” Lennie jumps up, walks over to the fridge, and grabs her own beer. “If you don’t mind, I had a rough day. A couple of beers and I’ll be ready for bed.”
She gives me a sad smile before sitting back down. “You’re more quiet than normal. What’s going on?”
I shrug and grab my beer.
“Nothing is the matter or you don’t know what’s wrong?”
I run my finger over the top of my lip, thinking of what I should say. I hate that I’m always worrying I’ll say the wrong thing to her.
“I was wondering where you were today.”
Lennie’s nose scrunches. “I told you. I volunteered.” Her head tilts to the side. “Why, did something happen?” Her voice perks up with concern as she closely watches me.
“Nothing happened. Nothing at all.” I grab my beer and down the rest. I can feel the alcohol running through my veins.
“Then why are you acting strange.”
“Strange?” I shake my head. “That’s rich coming from you.”
I walk over and grab another beer out of the fridge. I can’t remember the last meal I ate, and after stewing about where Lennie has been, how much I’ve drank really starts to hit me.
“What’s rich coming from me?” Lennie’s voice drops as she repeats my comment.
“Oh, I don’t know...maybe the fact that I’m busting my balls trying to make a relationship work with you when I know better.”
Lennie’s mouth drops open but she doesn’t say anything. Several long moments pass before she stands up and takes a step towards the door. “I think I’m going to crash at Jodi’s. I’m tired.”
“What exactly did you do all day that made you so tired, huh?”
Lennie’s eyes narrow. “What are you trying to say, Tyler?”
A sarcastic laugh works its way out. “That you lied. Are you pulling the same crap on me that Amber did? Did you spend the day whoring yourself around Dallas?”
The corners of Lennie’s mouth turn up in a sad smile. “Get a goodnight’s rest and we’ll talk in the morning.”
My stomach coils. She didn’t deny my claims. “No. Tell me where you were all day,” I practically shout.
“Now is not the time to talk. You’re drunk or damn near it. Tomorrow, when you’re sober, we’ll talk.”
It feels like my entire life women have been telling me what to do or how to feel, and now Lennie is just another one that expects me not to be mad when she’s been caught sneaking around.
“Fuck that. You’re a liar, just like the rest of them.” Lennie doesn’t react to my comment like I was hoping she would. I want her as pissed off as I am, but instead, she walks over to the door. “Really? You’re just going to leave?”
“Tyler...you’re mad. We’ll talk when you’ve cooled off.” Again, everything is on her terms.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk to you later. Have you thought about that? I want to talk about it right now.” Lennie reaches for the door. “If you leave, that’s it.”
Finally, she turns around and studies me.
“If you leave now, I’m done.” My stomach starts turning the second the words leave my mouth. I’m full of shit and I know it, but when Lennie opens my door and leaves, my only wish is that she knows I’m full of shit too because in the morning, no matter how foolish I might look, I plan on begging her to forgive me.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK?” Jodi questions the second I walk into her apartment.
“I think Tyler needs some Lennie-free time.” I try my best to smile, but it’s almost impossible.
After spending all day at the hospital, my mood is usually shot. I do whatever I can to avoid people, but tonight, knowing I didn’t have plans to go back—outside of my own appointment—I was excited to see Tyler. I don’t do it often, at least not around humans, but I gave my time to those who needed it, which means I’ve kept my word to Maddy.
What I wasn’t expecting was Tyler to know I wasn’t at the animal shelter. I’m not necessarily keeping my time at the hospital a secret, but it brings out memories I’d rather not talk about, and if I told Tyler what I was doing, that’s exactly what would happen. Jodi knows better than to ask me about it, but Tyler doesn’t. He’s still getting to know me, and that means asking questions that normal people ask. But no one considers me normal, and I hate talking about my past with anyone.
Tonight, however, with Tyler on the verge of drunk, I really wasn’t going to discuss it. His comment when I left was bittersweet. Tyler needs to stay far away from me, and I haven’t figured out how to make that happen without hurting him, and tonight it unintentionally happened.
I know this is for the best, but it doesn’t change the way my heart feels at the moment.
“Tyler wants Lennie-free time?” Jodi laughs. “Oh no. What did you do?” Jodi’s smile disappears when she notices I’m serious.
“Oh shit. Did you guys break up?”
I shrug. “Yes? Maybe? Hell if I know.”
Again, Jodi knows me well enough to let the conversation drop. “Do you want to go out? Just you and me?”
My eyes narrow, waiting for the catch. Jodi has never volunteered to go out with me before. “To be honest, I was planning on calling it an early night, but if you want to go out then I’m game.”
Jodi rubs her hands together. “Then let’s do this.”
There’s a sparkle in Jodi’s eyes, one I can’t remember seeing before, and I’m not about to question it. “I’m ready if you are.”
Jodi gives me a goofy grin. “Of course you are.” I have no makeup on and my hair is pulled up high on my head, but I don’t give a shit.
***
“I’LL TAKE A MERLOT.” I wave the bartender off. “No, we’ll take two shots of tequila and two Bud Lights.”
“Lennie, I have to work tomorrow,” Jodi huffs next to me.
The sparkle in her eyes starts to fade when I give her a stern look. “I didn’t say you had to get drunk, but we’re not at the type of bar where you drink wine.” Jodi looks around before she finally nods her head.
“I’m not complaining. I’m really not, but why tonight?”
Jodi winces before looking over at me. “I’ve done a shitty job standing up for you. You’re right. I don’t have a clue what it’s been like for you, and I can’t believe I’ve taken up for Dad all these years.”
I open my mouth but then I’m hit with the realization that something’s happened. “What’s going on? Did Dad say something?”
Jodi gestures towards our shots before she downs hers. Her face twists up in disgust. “Wow, that’s awful.”
“Okay, stop avoiding my question and answer me.”
“Dad is looking into treatments.”
My pulse quickens. “You told him?”
“No.” Her voice was loud enough that people stop to look at us. “No, he figured it out for himself.” I straighten on my barstool and look away. I can’t do this. If my Dad is involved, it really will feel like my past is repeating itself.
“I’m sorry. I told him to butt out and let you take care of things, but he won’t listen to me. Mom said he’s already looking into treatments overseas.”
I give Jodi a disapproving look. “The good news is that medicines and treatments have really improved in the last ten years.”
“Oh, yeah, and how do you know that? Have you been staying up to date with the latest treatments?” I feel a twinge of regret the moment I see her face drop.
“I’m just saying maybe it will be different this time.”
“It’s my choice, Jodi.” Everything inside of me coils as my mind flashes back to a time I’ve forced myself to forget.
Needles, doctors, constantly getting sick, and more importantly...watching my friend die.
“I know that,” she snaps. “And I’m on your side. I just think that Dad’s heart is in the right place, that’s all.”
As my body starts to relax, the pain in my side increases. I take a deep breath before placing my hand above my hip.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I ignore Jodi’s worried expression and grab my beer.
“They’re concerned. I understand that, but I also get that anything that happens is your choice.”
I pause for a moment. Outside of her surgery, this is the closest Jodi has ever come to siding with me, and the realization that I should have seen a doctor sooner hits me harder than I expected.
“No more talk about Dad or doctors or treatments. Tonight we’re going to cut loose and have some fun.”
Jodi smiles. “Okay, but not too much fun. I have court tomorrow afternoon.”
I tilt my head and laugh before motioning to the bartender for another round.
“Do you want to talk about what happened with Tyler?”
Meeting The Unpredictable Page 19