***
The weeks passed by and I became obsessed with finding the man as I needed to know for sure if it really was Paul. I took many days off work and walked around the town looking for any sign of him. What would happen if we never saw him again? Could I just forget about this situation and get back to my normal life? I couldn't see how at this stage. It would be heartbreaking if we lost him again and I was back to square one.
Then, on a bright, windy autumn day it finally happened. There was a knock on the door and I answered, only to find myself face to face with him. The man! I froze and stared directly into his eyes. My heart was thumping as the blood rushed to my head, and as he stepped forward, I collapsed into his arms and fainted clean away.
I was lying on one of the sofas when I came to, and felt him stroking my hair. He gave me a light kiss on the forehead.
"You'd better have some water," he said.
I had been dreaming of this very moment for years, so it couldn't really be happening. He helped me to sit up slowly, and I drank some water, which immediately brought me back to life. We flung our arms around each other and held on tightly, and I knew I was never going to let him go again. We released our hold so we could look into each other's eyes, and we sat there for a while doing just that, not speaking at all. I began to sob, whimpering like a lost puppy and the tears were drowning my face, and his tears were mingling with mine. I wanted to pinch myself, still not believing that this was real.
"You're still so beautiful," he said.
The sound of that voice, his voice, left me in no doubt whatsoever. This was Paul! I'd got Paul back. The love of my life was alive again. His face was wonderful and so full of joy, and I softened as I felt the warmth of his love wash all over me, soothing away all the pain and anguish that had been deep inside me for so many years. We held onto each other, but much more gently now, and quietly. We lay back on the cushions, and I knew I had to keep on holding him, so he could never vanish again.
"You look so damned healthy!" I blurted out.
Ben was right, he did have a terrific, deep tan, and looked more handsome than ever, but also, more mature, which suited him. It wouldn't have mattered if he had a white beard and wrinkles, as long as it was him, unique as he was in the whole world to me. A tsunami of happiness and joy was spreading all over me and I felt fully alive again. I knew then I had been living a kind of half life, with only the love of my sons carrying me along, keeping me afloat in a sea of wilderness.
"Let's have a cup of tea," he suddenly announced.
"Oh yes, and bring the biscuits. They're in the cupboard above the kettle," I said enthusiastically.
He was back in minutes, and we started to giggle as we dunked our biscuits in the hot tea, just like we always had done. The giggles turned to laughter and we were crying tears of joy, as euphoria had engulfed us both. We were loving this moment, this new world we had created together, where the sun always shone and there was never a cloud in the sky.
We made urgent, but very sweet love, right there on the sofa and I knew I was whole again. We slept in each other's arms for a while. Time was irrelevant now, but, on waking softly, I noticed it was darker and I knew it wouldn't be long until Ben arrived home.
It was another emotional reunion for Ben and Paul. They clung to each other, shouting, laughing and crying all at the same time.
"You're so grown up," cried Paul, as he looked Ben up and down, "but I'd know my boy anywhere." He was obviously glowing with pride over his son. "If only Jamie could be with us now."
"I'll try to phone him," I said, excitedly. I couldn't wait to tell Jamie the news. "He's bound to be on the first train home."
After a tour of the house, which of course, Paul had never seen before, he announced we should sit down together in the front room, as it was time for him to try and explain why he'd gone away so suddenly. We had all calmed down considerably, and as Paul began to speak, Ben and I were listening intently.
"I had heard about a sure-fire investment scheme in a London housing development. I, and many others, believed it was a gold mine, so I borrowed fifty thousand from the bank and ploughed it into the scheme. I intended to tell you about it later, when it paid out, but, to my horror, that day never came. The whole thing crashed, and I lost all that money. At the same time, there were rumours at the office about redundancies, and I was tipped off by a reliable source that my name was high on the list.
"I began to panic and was at my wits' end. There was no way I could tell you about it, as I knew it could destroy our wonderful family life. But, if I disappeared, I was pretty sure you would get help from the company and our families, and be able to survive financially, which, in fact, did happen.
"I was getting pressure from the bank and didn't have much time to plan anything. So I acted quickly, and that Sunday, I grabbed my passport and never went to the office, but drove straight down to the ferry. I parked the car and walked onto the ferry as a foot passenger.
"There were hundreds of other people, and I don't think our names were recorded at all. I had saved a little cash on the side, so when I arrived at Calais, I hired a car and drove down to Paris. There, I found a cheap hostel, and over the next few weeks, began to look for a job.
"I worked in a bar for over a year, and my French improved dramatically until I was totally fluent. Life was very low-key, as I worked long hours for very little money. Also, I was suffering badly, thinking of you trying to cope at home and what you must be going through. I was tortured by feelings of guilt and shame, and missed you terribly.
"I was already using an alias, but there had been no problems with it, so I decided to try and get a job in my own line of work. I succeeded, and got into a large firm as a clerk, and gradually worked my way up to Assistant Chief Accountant, which is what I am now. I was earning a decent salary, and I bought a house just outside Paris, in a semi-rural position. It's a typical French house with about half an acre of land, and my dearest wish was to have you and the boys live there with me. It's an empty shell without you, but I've made it as nice as I could, imagining what you would like to have. I've saved hard, and I'm now in a position to pay back the bank.
"I was extremely worried that you would have me declared dead after the seven years of my disappearance, and was desperate to see you again. I decided to risk everything by coming back to England and I would find you, no matter what.
"I couldn't believe my luck when I got back here and found your name in the phone book. I thought you might have stayed in this area because of the boys' schooling. It was me at the school gates that day Ben, and I'm sorry I didn't speak to you, but first I had to see your mother. I wouldn't blame you if you told me to get lost and never come back, but you've been wonderful to me. I can't tell you how sorry I am for all the hurt I must have caused you, and I want to do everything in my power to make it up to you. I'm asking you to come back to France with me and I know we'll have the most wonderful new life together."
I hadn't interrupted Paul once, and neither had Ben, and was extremely proud of the way he'd made good out of an absolute disaster. I started to imagine us all living in France, which I had always loved. We could put everything behind us and go forward together, strong and happy once more. I completely understood what Paul must have gone through and could not be angry with him at all. I was just pleased that he'd had the courage to return to England and come face to face with me.
There was no stopping us after that. I sold the house, Paul paid back the bank and I loved the little French house we now lived in. The boys were both at University in England, but always come over for the holidays. It's as if the past never happened at all, and we never spoke of it again. I think I must be the luckiest woman alive to regain my lost love, and yes, the sun is always shining now, and there is hardly ever a cloud in the sky.
The End
Author's Notes
If you enjoyed this romantic story, please consider writing a brief review of it here (the link below will take you dir
ectly to the Amazon USA book page):
http://www.serenasummersbooks.com/direct/the-long-dream/
Other romance stories and books by Serena Summers are available here:
http://www.serenasummersbooks.com/direct/books/
The Long Dream Page 4