Separation

by Louise Lyons

“It was about ten minutes.”

  “It felt like three fucking hours.” I tossed the lube aside and shifted onto my back.

  “It'll be easier on your front, or your side.”

  “No. Wanna see you.” I grabbed a pillow and lifted my hips to push it beneath me. Matt moved between my knees and looked down, his dick in his hand. The blunt head nudged my hole and I tried to relax my quivering limbs.

  “Breathe.” Matt stroked me with his free hand, rubbing his thumb over my tip. I rolled my head back and closed my eyes. When he pushed against me, I opened up and his thick shaft forced its way past my ring of muscle. Shaking, I took deep breaths and concentrated on his hand stroking me, coaxing my softening erection to thicken again. “Shall I stop?”

  “No. I'm okay.” I met his eyes, dark and anxious. “I'm just out of practice.”

  He withdrew almost to the tip, and when he slid back in it was easier. I reached for him and pulled him down over me. Releasing my cock, he crouched above me, elbows either side of my head as he thrust deeper into me. When he bumped my prostate, I hardened fully and moved with him. The slight pain gave way to pleasurable fullness, and I held him tighter. “Yeah, that's it. God, you feel good.”

  He smiled and lowered his head to press his lips to mine. “I love you, Tam.”

  “I love you, too. You're everything to me,” I whispered.

  We didn't move, Matt giving me time to adjust, and me wanting the moment to last forever. Then my dick twitched impatiently against my stomach, and Matt slid his hand between us to stroke it. He pulled out slowly and inched back in, continuing his torturous snail pace until I bucked my hips against him and drove him harder into me.

  “Fuck.” His groan echoed mine as we thrust together, his balls bumping my ass. The room filled with the sounds of slick skin slapping together, and him in me. Our breathing matched, deepening until we panted like we'd been running a race. Sweat beaded on Matt's forehead and dripped onto me. He took his hand off me to brace it against the headboard behind me, and I jerked myself, my hand keeping time with our bodies. Having already come once, our orgasms built slowly, tantalizingly out of reach and allowing us to enjoy the moment for much longer than if we'd gone for it right away.

  Eventually, Matt picked up the pace and I kept with him, my gaze still fixed on his face as his lashes fluttered, nose wrinkling, and lips parted. His hips jerked erratically and he throbbed inside me. He was almost there, and a final rub over my tip pushed me over the edge with him. I spurted through my fist and onto my chest as he spilled inside me, his dick still twitching after he collapsed onto me. I pulled my hand out from between us and wrapped both arms around him, not caring that his weight almost crushed the breath out of me.

  “You okay?” he gasped in my ear. I knew he wasn't asking if he'd hurt me.

  “Yeah. You?”

  “I'm…” He lifted his head and met my eyes. “…amazing.”

  I laughed in relief, then winced as he slipped from me and rolled onto his side. Turning carefully, I rested my head against his shoulder and breathed in the scent of him. It felt so right; so perfect. No nagging guilt bothered me and I couldn't imagine feeling that way again. I wanted this—to be together this way—and the look in Matt's eyes when he said “amazing” told me it was the same for him. His worries were gone. Nothing stood in our way. So long as his parents never found out, we could be with each other the way we wanted without any problems. Even Stef was kind of on my side. I chuckled as I remembered his words: “It could have been worse. You could have gone back to Chris.”

  “What's funny?” Matt murmured. “I hope you're not laughing at my performance. In my defense, it's been a while.”

  “No, you twat. And it's been a lot longer for me. I won't be able to sit down tomorrow.”

  “Shit, I'm sorry.”

  “Shut up. I feel good. But I need another shower.”

  Matt grinned and sat up. “Let's share.”

  We took our time in the shower, soaping each other up, fooling around with the temperature control, playing like kids. The line between the two sides of what we were to each other was gone. We were just Tam and Matt—brothers, lovers, soul mates. Two halves of a whole as if we'd always been that way.

  Later, when we switched off the lights and got ready to sleep, Matt wrapped himself around me, his chest to my back, body molded to mine. Our heartbeats matched, slow and steady, and we breathed in time until I slipped away into a dream where we lived our lives together, happy and unchallenged by anyone, even those who knew.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Matthew

  I woke with Tam still in my arms, my dick in the crack of his ass, and my hand wrapped around his morning wood. I grinned against his neck, and stroked him until he stirred and groaned.

  “Mm, keep doing that.”

  I brought him off with long slow strokes, rubbing my erection against his ass in an effort to join him. It wasn't quite enough and when he finished, I slid my hand between us and began to jerk myself off. Tam rolled over and grabbed my hand.

  “Fuck, I'm almost there,” I groaned.

  “Wouldn't you rather I get you off?” He tossed the bedcovers aside, slid down the bed, and took me in his mouth. Although it didn't take long, it was preferable to my hand. I lay back, spent and gasping.

  “Housekeeping are gonna love us when they have to keep changing the sheets.” I grinned at him. “Or maybe we should just put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.”

  “And spend the whole three days having sex? Hm, let me think.” Tam sniggered. “I suppose I could force myself, you know, if you really want to.”

  “Did you ever top Chris?” I blurted. The thought had come out of nowhere, but as soon as I had it, I couldn't get the idea of Tam fucking me out of my head.

  “No. Why?”

  “I just wondered if you want to do it with me.”

  “Do you want to?”

  “I think so. Yes.”

  “Then I want to.” Tam brushed his lips over mine, and I tasted myself. I held him close. We would do it soon, I thought. Maybe not right away, but soon.

  * * *

  We barely left each other's sight for the few days we stayed at the hotel. The weather was warm enough for swimming in the sea, and we spent a lot of time at the beach, when we weren't hunting for a place to rent. This seemed an impossible task, with absolutely nothing available to us unless we looked much farther away from where we wanted to be, or took a less than suitable property. We were so impatient to be together, but everything seemed to be against us. When my visit was over, I left Tam with a heavy heart and made my way back to St. Albans, every part of me longing to turn around and go back. Every time we said good-bye, it was harder than the previous time, and now we'd had sex, it only made things worse. I ached for him, and I wished he'd fucked me. Although we talked about it, we hadn't done it. It had been down to me to tell him I wanted it, and I hadn't, for no other reason than I’d only bottomed a couple of times and I was nervous. I hadn’t had the best experiences and I’d never done it with Chris, so it had been ages for me. Tam had been anxious, too, our first time, and I knew I had nothing to worry about, but still, I couldn’t help it.

  I threw myself into my art to try to take my mind off how much I missed him. Every night we Skyped, and where we had previously only talked until we were too tired to carry on, now we started playing, too. Desperate for each other's touch, we'd strip naked and bring ourselves off together, then switch from Skype to phone to murmur sappy words of love.

  I'd only been home two days, when my mother noticed the difference in me. She probably noticed when I walked in the door, but she didn't say anything right away. I'd stirred my cereal around in the milk until it went soggy, and she leaned on the counter beside me.

  “Have you met someone?”

  “Pardon?”

  “You look like you did when you met Chris.”

  “I hope not!” My face heated and I dropped my spoon in the bowl. “I was stupi
d over him.”

  “So, there is someone?”

  I paused, wondering what to tell her. If I said I met someone, then told my parents I planned to move to be with Tam, maybe they'd think I wanted to move so I could throw myself head first into a relationship with someone I barely knew. But if I said no, Mum would probably see right through me and get suspicious.

  “Uh, yeah. I met somebody.” I answered as if I was talking about Stef. “He's friends with Tam. We haven't spent that much time together, but I like him.”

  “What's he like?”

  “Attractive, fun, hardworking.”

  “Does he have a name?” Mum's eyes twinkled.

  “Stef.” I flushed deeper, hating that I was lying. But what was the alternative? Let her find out I was in love with my brother?

  “That must be who you spend so much time on the phone with, then?”

  “Only half of it. The rest I'm talking to Tam.” I was getting myself in deeper. I hoped to God she hadn't heard me moaning over Skype. My room was at the opposite side of the house to my parents', but if she'd been passing my room, hell knows what she'd heard.

  Mercifully, she dropped the subject, but my embarrassment didn't lessen. When I told Tam about my cover story, he laughed and reported that Stef was flattered.

  “Hell, you didn't tell him, did you?” I groaned.

  “Yeah, he thinks it's hilarious. He doesn't return your feelings, I'm sorry to say.”

  “Clearly, he's over his disgust about us, then.”

  “Getting there. He must have said a dozen times that he can't get the image of us kissing out of his head, but he's of the opinion that we're not hurting anybody. It's sort of an ‘each to their own’ situation.”

  “Good, at least he's not making things difficult for you. Any luck with houses today?”

  “Actually, yes. You'll never guess.” Tam's tone switched to excitement. “The agent called me. You know the one with the little cottage in Hope Cove? The people who signed up for it dropped out. Some drama meant they can't move for the moment. So, we get first refusal. The contract is only for a year, though. The owner has decided he might sell in the future after all.”

  “Okay. Well, a year is a good start. At least I get to be with you. How soon is the cottage available?”

  “As soon as we can go and see the agent, go through the credit checks, pay the deposit and bond, and sign some stuff.”

  “I'll come tomorrow,” I said eagerly.

  “I've still got one more day to work before I'm off shift.”

  “I don't care. I'll get us a hotel room, and you can come there when you finish. We could see the agent the next morning.”

  We excitedly made plans. I couldn't wait to start my life with Tam for real, and his feelings were the same. In twenty-four hours, I'd be with him, and after that, we probably wouldn't have to be parted again.

  My parents were both happy for me, and sad that I was rushing off again so soon, possibly only to come back to collect my things. I set off at eight so I could see Tam for a couple of hours before he went to work. Then I spent my afternoon on the beach. I ran into Stef as I looked for somewhere to grab dinner, and he asked me back to the house for some food. We picked up Chinese, my favorite choice of takeout, and shared a couple of beers.

  I wasn't sure what to say to Stef about the situation, if anything. Instead I asked him about his work, and talked about my art. When he put down his chopsticks, he met my eyes and smiled tentatively. “Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?”

  “I didn't know if you'd want to.”

  “I suppose we should. I'm your friend as well as Tam's.”

  “You're not going to warn me off, are you?”

  “No. It's not my business. But he's been my best friend for years, mostly. That Chris guy really shit on him, and dragged him down to the gutter.”

  “You think I'd do that?” I gasped.

  “Of course not. I'm just worried he'll get hurt again. Or that you both will. Are you sure you know what you're doing?”

  “I love him,” I said fervently. “He's part of me. We already talked about it, and if things don't work out the way we think they will, we're always going to be twins. We'd get over the other stuff.”

  “Aren't you worried about people finding out? I'm getting used to the idea, but I'm pretty broadminded. I don't get it, but you know, whatever floats your boat.”

  “No one's going to find out. Why would they? The only person who knows is you. The house agents don't have to know we're related, and my parents certainly aren't going to find out. To the outside world, we'll be a couple.”

  “Secrets have a way of getting out. I can promise I will never say anything, but seriously, what if your parents do somehow catch on?”

  “They won't.”

  “Won't they think it's weird if you and Tam stay single forever, and live together?”

  “They probably wouldn't think I'm that weird. I've only had one relationship and that was shit. They know I avoid commitment.”

  “You're twenty-one. What about when you're thirty? Or forty?”

  I groaned. “We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. He's my life, no matter what else happens. What if my parents do find out some day? I don't know. I love them, but Tam is more important.”

  “Okay. It just seems like you're rushing things, and not thinking it through, that's all. I'm not trying to put a damper on it.”

  “It's okay. It's good that Tam has a friend who cares about him like this.”

  “I'm your friend, too,” Stef reminded me. “So, you can both talk to me about stuff, if you want.”

  “Cool. I should go soon. I haven’t found a hotel room yet,” I remembered.

  “Don’t bother. You might as well stay here.”

  “Are you sure?” Still wary, I shot him a glance, but he grinned.

  “Yeah. There’s no point going to a hotel to shag. I know you’re doing it, so you might as well save your money. It’s not like I’m here over night anyway.”

  “Thanks.”

  Later Stef got ready for work, and was about to leave when Tam returned. Stef left us alone and Tam immediately launched himself into my arms. We hugged tightly, not even kissing for the first few minutes.

  “I missed you so much,” Tam murmured against my ear. “I thought you’d be at the hotel.”

  “I was going to get a room, but I went looking for food first and ran into Stef. He’s cool with me staying here.” I loosened my hold on him and brought our lips together. “We got Chinese food. There’s plenty left in the fridge if you want to heat some up.”

  “Later.” Tam slid his hands down from my back to my ass. “I’m more hungry for you.”

  I groaned as I felt the hardness in his jeans push against mine. “Let’s go to your room.”

  We released each other and raced for the stairs, tugging at shirts and flies as we went. In less than a minute, we tumbled naked onto the bed. Tam pulled me onto him, his legs spread beneath me. “God, Matt, I need you in me. Now.”

  “Where’s the lube?”

  He groped beneath the pillow and produced an almost empty tube. “I used most of it since you left last time.”

  “That’ll do for now. I brought some with me.”

  Tam slid a hand around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. Our mouths mashed together, wet and messy, too desperate for any finesse. I fumbled with the lube, struggling to coat myself and prepare Tam without breaking the kiss. I’d only just got two fingers in, when he pushed my hand away.

  “That’s enough. I’m ready.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. I bought a toy a few days ago. Been at it every chance I got.” He grinned wickedly as I glanced in the direction he indicated, and spotted the lifelike latex dick beside the bed.

  “Perv.”

  “Shut up and fuck me.” Tam squirmed impatiently beneath me. I guided myself into him and as I sank deep into his tight heat, we both moaned.
r />   “God, that feels good. I missed you.”

  “I love you.” Tam wrapped arms and legs around me, clinging tight as I began to move. It was like coming home.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tremaine

  We lay spent in each other’s arms, until my empty stomach made a loud protest that I hadn’t eaten in almost seven hours. Laughing, I pulled away from Matt and took a quick shower, then heated up the leftover Chinese food while he showered. Half an hour later we were back in bed, snuggling and talking.

  I couldn’t ever remember being so happy. I’d never been happy in a relationship, that was for sure. The only one I’d had was with Chris, and after the initial infatuation wore off, I’d been miserable ninety percent of the time, and I’ve never been able to trust him. I could trust Matt with my life, and certainly my heart. I chuckled, and he bumped his nose against my cheek.

  “What are you laughing at? You always laugh when we’re in bed. You’re going to give me a complex.”

  “Just sappy, corny thoughts. I never imagined I’d ever be this happy. That I’d feel whole.”

  “Not so corny. I feel the same. We’ve both felt something was missing before we met. I felt complete after the first day I met you, but this is a whole new level. You are everything to me.”

  “I love you.” I turned my head to brush my lips against the tip of his nose.

  “I love you, too.” Matt drew back a few inches and met my eyes. “I want you to fuck me.”

  “You said that when you were here last. Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How long has it been?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. I never bottomed for Chris, so, a couple of years. The very few times I did it weren’t good either. But I want to with you.”

  My dick twitched and nudged his stomach. “Now?”

  “Yes. Now. Don’t get too excited. It’s going to take a while before I’m ready.” Matt grimaced slightly. “Unlike you, I haven’t even used one finger on myself.”