by ML Hamilton
She shifted uncomfortably. “You know, about you and your…well, problems.”
“Problems?”
She shrugged, but canted a look down at his arm.
Joshua sighed. He hadn’t read it, but he could just imagine what it might have said. “Listen, lady…”
“Paula,” she said.
“Paula,” he amended, “I really am sorry for the confusion, but…”
Paula moved closer to him again. “Don’t worry about it, darlin’. I don’t mind. I know it’s hard to remember, but I’ll give you such a night that no matter what you do, you won’t forget me.”
Joshua stumbled back into the door. “No thanks,” he said, fumbling for the doorknob. Where the hell was Dominic? “Really, this is a mistake. See, I’m involved with someone.”
“You can bring her. I don’t mind.”
Joshua gave an anxious bark of laughter. “Yeah, I don’t think that would go over too well.” He finally located the knob and turned it. “Look, Paula, I can get you a cab or better yet, I’ll have one of the limos take you home.”
She pouted yet again. “That’s not at all what I want to do.”
Joshua turned the knob and pulled open the door, bolting out into the hallway. A number of people were milling around – in fact, the whole band, Julian and…Elena were there. Paula bumped him in the back, wrapping her arms around his chest as Joshua made eye contact with Elena. She looked first at him, then her eyes shifted to Paula and narrowed.
Joshua broke Paula’s hold, a little more forcefully than he meant, and closed on Julian. “Where’s Dominic?” he demanded.
Julian gave him a bored look over his glasses, then his eyes also shifted to Paula. “There was a disturbance out back. All security was diverted there. Dominic is securing the limos for us.”
“Why was she allowed into the dressing room?”
Julian smiled. “I am not about to get involved in this.”
“In what?” asked Joshua.
“Who you fool around with is not any of my business. I’ve never gotten involved in that, and I’m sure not going to do it now.”
Joshua didn’t realize how much the whole episode unnerved him, but he grabbed Julian by the collar. The band reacted, moving to intervene, but Joshua wasn’t aware of them.
“What the hell are you playing at?” he shouted, shaking the manager.
Julian held his arms out in a motion of submission. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You let this woman into my dressing room and apparently there’s an article that says I’m using again.”
“Let him go, Josh,” came Robert’s voice at his shoulder.
Julian closed a hand around Joshua’s wrist. “Calm down, all right? I didn’t do anything. I don’t know anything about the woman and I didn’t have anything to do with the article.”
“Let him go,” said Robert, reaching around Joshua and grabbing his wrist too.
Joshua released Julian, then sagged with weariness. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’ve got a note,” came Paula’s voice behind him. “He invited me himself.”
Julian gave Joshua a slow smile. “Well, I guess that clears me of any wrongdoing, doesn’t it?”
Joshua’s hands closed into fists, but Robert had an arm around him, holding him back. “You are a pathetic excuse for a man,” he said.
Julian’s eyes tracked a path over Joshua. “Really? And you’re certainly one to talk.”
Joshua pushed against Robert’s arm. “Let me go, Bobby.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he answered tiredly. “He’s not worth it.”
When Robert released him, Joshua took a deep breath, then brushed by Julian, knocking him with his shoulder. He wanted to explain things to Elena, but he looked so damn guilty right now, he didn’t know what to say to her. And he needed to get out of this building, away from the band. He walked to the exit and pushed it open, not caring who was waiting on the other side.
Dominic stood by one of the limos and hurried to open the door when he saw the look on Joshua’s face. “You okay, Boss?”
“No,” Joshua muttered, then slipped inside. He slouched down on the limo seat and closed his eyes. He heard Dominic climb into the passenger side and shut the door.
“Where to?” he asked.
“I don’t care. Just have him drive.”
He didn’t hear Dominic give the driver any directions, but the limo started moving and Joshua let the motion lull him into a sense of calm.
* * *
Elena sat up when Joshua crept into the room. She could see his silhouette as he sat on the end of the bed and began taking off his shoes. Rolling over, she turned on the lamp and wiped the sleep from her eyes.
She sat and stared at his hunched back for a moment. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he grunted.
She crawled to the end of the bed and ran her hands up his spine to his shoulders. He smelled of booze and cigarette smoke, but she let go her held breath when he leaned back into her. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his neck.
“You need a shower,” she whispered, kissing him. He didn’t smell like anyone else’s perfume, and for that she was grateful.
“I know,” he mumbled. She caught just a slight slur to his words.
“How much did you drink?”
“Not as much as Dominic, but he’s still sober.”
She smiled into his hair. “You’re not a drinker.”
“No, I’m a drug addict,” he said bitterly.
She tightened her hold on him and pressed her face deeper into his neck.
“Why didn’t you warn me about the article?”
“I didn’t think you needed any more stress.”
“What else have you kept from me?”
“Nothing.”
He lifted a hand and ran it along her arm. “I haven’t done any drugs since rehab,” he said.
“I know,” she answered.
“And I didn’t invite that woman into my dressing room.”
She lifted her head and pressed her lips against his ear. “I know that too.” She hadn’t needed him to tell her that, but she was glad he had.
“How do you know? She had that damn note with my signature.”
Elena smiled, kissing the side of his face. “Because she wasn’t your type.”
He laughed and some of the worry eased inside of her. “I wanted to punch Julian tonight.”
“I’ve wanted to do that myself sometimes.”
“He’s trying to set me up.”
Elena nodded. “I think so too, but I don’t know how to prove it. He’s a sneaky bastard.”
Joshua ran a hand over his face. “I wish we could go home.”
Elena crawled off the bed and reached for his hand, tugging on it. “Come on. You need a shower.”
He let her pull him to his feet and followed her into the bathroom. She turned on the water as he undressed. When he stepped into the shower, she let her gaze linger on his beautiful body. Slipping her nightgown off, she climbed in after him.
He opened his eyes wide in surprise, then reached for her and pulled her under the spray. Wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face in her hair and held her tight.
Running her hands up his back, she closed her eyes and absorbed the feel of him. God, she loved him, but she just couldn’t tell him that.
“Thank you for believing me,” he whispered.
She lifted his head and placed her lips against his. “Always,” she said, then kissed him wildly.
* * *
The sudden reverberation made Joshua look up. The sound manager shrugged his shoulders and pointed at Julian. Julian strolled to the stage beside an unfamiliar man. Well, unfamiliar wasn’t exactly right. Joshua narrowed his eyes, feeling an odd sensation pool in his stomach. The man looked a lot like he did himself. He glanced at Elliot, who was also looking between Joshua and the newcomer with a frown.
Juli
an and his companion climbed on the stage and stopped between Elliot and Joshua. “They’re doing a sound check right now,” Julian explained to the man.
Joshua blinked his eyes, not sure he wasn’t seeing things. The man had hair as long as his, done in much the same fashion, although his was a bit more brown than black. His eyes were a hazel color and his features were very similar to Joshua’s own. In fact, they could be brothers if one didn’t know better. The stranger gave Joshua a smile.
“Hi,” he said, moving towards him and holding out his hand.
“Yeah,” said Julian, “this is Ravensong, the man you’ll be replacing.”
Joshua shook hands with his look-alike and glanced at Julian. He didn’t know what he felt about the whole situation. He wasn’t about to agree to this European tour, but it was hard to relinquish control of his music to someone else.
“I’m Lucas,” said the singer, beaming at Joshua and shaking his hand vigorously. “I’m so damn happy to meet you. You’re a living legend, man, a living legend.”
Joshua gave him a forced smile and waited to be released, but Lucas didn’t seem in any hurry.
“Christ,” whistled Ralph at his shoulder. “Did you do this on purpose?” He motioned at Lucas’ clothes and hair.
“Ralph!” snapped Julian, but Lucas didn’t seem upset.
“Damn straight I did. I’ve always been a fan. You can rock the house, man, you can really rock the house. Besides, I figured I stood a better chance if I looked like the real thing, eh?”
Joshua finally managed to free his hand. Ralph draped an arm around Joshua’s shoulder.
“Don’t get carried away. We ain’t heard you sing yet,” said Ralph sharply.
Lucas started to answer, but Julian interrupted him. “You don’t need to hear him. He’s already been hired.”
“What?” said Elliot, moving closer to them.
“I’m happy to sing with you,” offered Lucas, sensing the tension. “In fact, I’d love to sing with you especially.” He shifted his gaze back to Joshua.
Joshua and Ralph exchanged a look.
“You hired him without consulting with the rest of us?” demanded Elliot.
Robert and Michael left their instruments and closed the circle.
“Lucas was the most qualified, knew the most about the band, and had the look. Besides, he’s got a great voice.”
“Well, truth be told” said Lucas, “I knew the most about Ravensong. I’ve studied everything he’s ever done.”
“I’ll bet,” muttered Ralph in Joshua’s ear.
Elliot positioned himself in front of Julian. “We haven’t even signed the contract for the tour yet, let alone agreed to hiring a new singer. We already have a singer.”
Joshua glanced at him in surprise, but he wouldn’t meet Joshua’s look.
“Why do we keep having to repeat this? We don’t have a singer for the European tour…or rather, we didn’t until now.”
Elliot’s eyes widened. “You’re going to pass him off as Ravensong, aren’t you?” He threw a hand in Lucas’ direction.
“Of course not. That would be fraud. It’ll be clear in the programs that Lucas Pratt is the lead singer.”
“Not many people buy the programs. Enough of them will be fooled.”
Julian gave Elliot a moronic look. “We’ll be doing interviews and photo shoots, Elliot. They’ll know it isn’t Ravensong.”
“But until we get over there, you won’t have to say anything. They look enough alike that it won’t be obvious to the booking agents,” said Robert, backing Elliot.
Julian shrugged. “That’s not my problem.”
Joshua felt completely out of place in this conversation. They were discussing him, but no one seemed to care that he was present to hear it. He wanted to sneak away, but Ralph’s arm around his shoulder and Lucas’ focused attention prevented that.
“Let’s just finish the sound check,” he suggested. “We still have a show to do tonight.”
Julian’s attention snapped back to him. “That’s exactly why I brought Lucas out. I thought he might finish the sound check. That way he’ll know how we run it when we’re in Europe.”
Joshua was speechless. He felt Ralph tense and Lucas looked like he’d been slapped, but he didn’t know how the others were reacting. A rush of fury replaced his shock.
He didn’t say anything – he couldn’t. If he did, he’d quit on the spot and he didn’t want to do that without thinking it through. He knew that was what Julian wanted him to do, but he didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.
Shrugging off Ralph’s arm, he shoved between Julian and Lucas, moving to the edge of the stage. He didn’t look back, but he knew Lucas turned immediately to watch him.
“Josh,” came Elliot’s command. Joshua stopped on the first step, his heart leaping into his throat. “I’m sorry, Lucas, but we haven’t agreed to your employment yet. We already have a lead singer to take us through the sound check. The same lead singer who will be singing with us for the foreseeable future. I’m sorry you were misled and I hope you find something that suits you real soon.”
“Elliot!” began Julian.
“I wouldn’t go there right now,” said Robert in a low tone. “Not if you want a concert tonight.”
Julian didn’t answer. Joshua turned around and looked at the band. Lucas shifted uncomfortably, then gave a hesitant nod. Turning on his heel, he headed toward Joshua. When he stopped in front of him, he held out his hand again.
“No hard feelings, right?”
“No,” said Joshua, shaking his hand.
Lucas laughed. “Thought it was too good to be true.”
Joshua gave him a smile. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said, finally releasing him. “I got to meet you.” He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a battered card. “Here’s my number. If you ever want anything, just give it a ring.”
Joshua took the number. “Thanks,” he said, then frowned after him as Lucas bounded off the stage.
When he turned back around, Ralph was shaking his head. “How many phone numbers do you get in a day?” he joked.
Joshua smiled at him and pocketed the number. His eyes drifted to Elliot, hoping to see some break in Elliot’s hostility, but the moment they made contact, Elliot turned away. Joshua hated the stab of pain he felt over Elliot’s rejection.
As he took his place again, he felt Julian’s stare. He met it, forcing Julian to look down, but not before Julian made his hatred startlingly clear.
* * *
Elena hesitated at the top of the arena, squinting to make out the strange scene in the middle of the stage. A man was walking away from the stage and he looked very much like Joshua, if a little taller.
“Hey, Elena.”
Elena glanced down to see Alec sitting a few rows beneath her. “Hey, Alec,” she said, making her way over to him. She hunkered down at his side. “Who’s that?”
Alec made a snort of disgust. “The guy Julian wants to replace Ravensong.”
“What?”
“Yeah. It’s just because of his looks, you know? I tried out for that job, but right in the middle of my audition, Evan barged in and took Julian away.”
Elena was torn between watching the scene on stage and the man beside her. “You auditioned for Joshua’s job?”
“Why not? I told you I could play as good as him. And I sing too. You should have heard me, but Julian didn’t even notice.”
Elena exhaled. Some part of her felt sorry for Alec and his misguided dreams. “Why do you want to be in a rock band, Alec? It’s not as great as it seems.”
“Because I have the talent. I just need the chance to show it to someone.” He shifted in his seat, his expression intense. “You think I want to keep schlepping amplifiers around?”
“No, but there’s other types of work.”
“This is what I’ve always dreamed of, but because I don’t have the looks, I don’t even get a shot. Only guy
s like Ravensong get noticed.”
Elena touched his arm. “That’s not true, Alec. Looks mean very little in the rock business.”
“Really?” His face twisted into a grimace. “Why do people keep telling that lie? Looks mean everything.” He cocked his head at her. “Why else would you break off an engagement with a doctor for a heroin addict?”
Elena started back in surprise. “That’s none of your business.”
“Hey, you were the one giving out advice. I just said what we both know. You’re not with Ravensong because of his intelligence.”
She rose to her feet and braced her hands on her hips. “Listen here, Alec. You’ve got to stop giving interviews to these tabloid paparazzi. If the guys find out the things you’ve been saying, it might cost you your job.”
“What do I care? This job sucks. I only took it so I could get a chance to show them my talent.”
She softened her expression. He seemed immune to threat, so she needed to try a different approach. “Please don’t give anymore interviews, Alec. Promise me. It can only hurt Joshua and I don’t think you really want to do that.”
Alec scoffed. “Yeah, I’m really worried about him. He doesn’t even know my name. I tried to give him some of my music once. I even put it on the piano for him, but he just set it aside, didn’t even look at it.” He turned away and shook his head. “I don’t owe that junkie anything.”
“Stop saying that!” she snapped.
He gave her a cold smile. “Why? Because it’s true, because we both know that one of these days he’s gonna go back on the junk? Believe me, I can’t wait. Then maybe they’ll give me a real audition.”
She started to tell him exactly what she thought of him, but she hesitated. Somehow he’d gained access to the media. If she alienated him anymore, she feared he’d say more hateful things about Joshua and she didn’t think Julian would be inclined to stop him. Julian certainly wouldn’t be inclined to listen to anything she had to say. Not now.
For the first time since she quit, she regretted it.
CHAPTER 13
The package was waiting for him in the dressing room, sitting in the middle of the table. He glanced behind him at the closing door and caught a glimpse of Dominic taking a seat. He didn’t know why a feeling of anxiety skittered up his spine, but he’d never received a package in the dressing room before.