by Dynah Zale
“Hey, baby!” Elise said in an attempt to grab her husband’s attention. Preoccupied with the article he was reading online, he lifted his hand and casually waved to his wife. She walked across the room, sat on his lap, and peered at the screen to see what had him so absorbed. The title of the article was, “Is Impotency Hereditary?”
Elise’s temperature immediately rose. Unable to control her anger, she jumped off his lap and stormed into the kitchen. Miles could sense an impending argument. He got up and followed her.
“Elise, I’m trying to find answers to what’s wrong with me.”
“Miles, you’ve been tested and your results came back fine. Why do you insist there’s something medically wrong with you? The doctor told you to relax.”
Uncontrollably, Miles’s ears began to twitch, a sure sign that he was frustrated over a situation he couldn’t control. She walked over and held his ears in her hands. She looked into her husband’s eyes through his glasses. Her husband was not the best looking man, but his ordinary looks were appealing to her. He wasn’t stylish nor was he athletic, but he was a man who loved the Lord, and that was so much more attractive than a man who worshipped himself or the material things around him.
“I’ve been relaxing. I took a month off from work and I haven’t done anything, but . . .”
“Sit at the computer and search for medical reasons why you can’t keep an erection,” Elise said, finishing his sentence for him.
He looked at her strangely. This was the first time they had acknowledged his problem out loud.
“We’ve been married for six years, and I never had a problem until we decided to have a family.”
Elise pulled two plates down from the top cabinet. “Well, you’ve been seeing a therapist. What does she say?”
“I told Dr. Johnson how I witnessed my father rape and beat my mother repeatedly. She thought my sexual deficiencies had something to do with what I saw as a child. She said that I might be suppressing my feelings of how scared I am of becoming a parent. That traumatic experience could be causing my body to react in a negative way, subconsciously, resulting in my inability to . . . you know.”
“I didn’t realize that experience affected you so deeply.”
“Neither did I. Now I just have to find a way to live with it, because no matter what happens, I can’t erase my past. I’m more concerned about the children we were planning. I know how excited you are to start a family.”
“We just have to be patient. One day the Lord is going to bless us with a house full of kids. If we continue to pray, God will answer our prayers.”
“I’ve been praying and he hasn’t answered them yet.”
“He will. Just remember, it’s all in his time, not ours.”
Elise fixed their plates to eat. They sat down at the dining room table in silence until Miles couldn’t suppress his feelings any longer. “Elise, what are we going to do if my condition becomes permanent?” Miles blurted out. “I’ve been having problems for the past three months. How long can I expect you to wait for me?”
Elise never thought about what would happen if Miles’s condition never improved. She realized that sex was a very important part of any marriage. She thought for a moment, I can do without sex for a while. But what would she do if he never got better? She looked over at her husband and saw the worried look on his face.
“Elise, I have a responsibility as a man to satisfy you. What’s going to happen to our marriage if I can’t please you? I can’t expect you to live the rest of your life celibate because I have a sexual affliction.”
He pulled his chair closer to her and grabbed her hand. “Maybe we should start thinking about what we’re going to do if this condition persists.”
“I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” Elise replied.
“First, I need you to know that my number one aspiration in life is to make you happy. You should never be sad, mad, or lonely.” He held his head not sure if he should tell her what he had been thinking. “What would you think if I suggested that we explore an open marriage?”
“Open marriage! What is that?”
“It’s kind of like having an affair, except you have your spouse’s permission to see other people.”
“Miles, you can’t be serious!” she yelled.
“Hear me out. I know it sounds unorthodox, but it can work. I wouldn’t ask you any questions about where you’ve been or who you’ve been with.
The only thing I would ask is that you choose someone I didn’t know.”
Elise got up and walked over to the refrigerator. She filled her glass with ice. “Miles, a marriage is not based on sex. It’s based on our commitment to one another. This is a battle we have to fight together. I love you and only you.” She walked over and kissed him on the lips. “‘Til death do us part.”
He smiled, relieved that she wanted to fight for their marriage. He pulled Elise down on his lap and wrapped his arms around her.
“I love you,” Elise said. “Sex is about sharing yourself with someone you love. I love the way you wrap your arms around me at night. I love the way our bodies come together as one. If I have to wait a lifetime, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll wait out this impotency thing, and God will fix everything.”
She took a deep breath before finishing her thoughts. “If our situation doesn’t change by the end of the year, we can begin to think about getting a surrogate or possibly doing in vitro. Whatever it takes, we will have a baby together.”
Miles kissed Elise passionately on the lips.
“Elise, I hate going to these conference meetings.”
“Tressie, yesterday you said you were looking forward to going,” Elise shot back.
Elise and Tressie were on their way to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. The youth of the A.M.E. Church were holding their quarterly meeting, where they collectively discussed ways to promote Christ and reach out to the community. In the past they had food drives, charity events, and church carnivals.
This year the conference president, Payne Boyd, said he wanted the church to “take things to the next level.” Tressie wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but she did know from past experience that when Payne had a vision he would drive himself and those around him insane until he achieved his desired goal.
His last project, “Renaissance Children,” focused on getting children reacquainted with Christ. He was determined to increase Sunday School attendance across the state of Pennsylvania by at least fifty percent. The project required that Tressie, as the conference secretary, travel with Payne to different churches to promote his campaign. Having to deal with Payne’s bossy, pushy, and rude attitude was torture for Tressie. They argued all the time and never agreed on anything.
They arrived at the A.M.E. District Diamond Center just in time for the start of morning church services. Tressie took her place behind the podium as the morning emcee. A lot of different A.M.E. churches throughout the state attended the conference meeting, so the huge sanctuary was crowded and allowed for standing room only.
“I would like to welcome everyone here this morning and thank you for attending the third quarter conference meeting.” The congregation applauded. “First, I would like to introduce our conference president, Payne Boyd. He is going to deliver the official welcome.”
Tressie stepped down as Payne stood up and straightened his suit. On his way to the podium he gave Tressie a snide grin. As Payne addressed the congregation, Tressie had thoughts of pushing him out of the pulpit and into the audience. She mouthed a silent prayer: “Lord, forgive me for the mischievous things that just ran through my head.”
After the morning service concluded, Payne called a meeting with all cabinet members. Tressie followed Payne into the back office, took a seat, and pulled out a pen and a pad of paper to take notes.
“First, I would like to address the attendance issue. I need for all members who hold office positions to be present at all quarterly meetings. If there is an . . .”
“Excuse me,” Tressie interrupted. “Wouldn’t it be wise if we opened with prayer first?”
“Of course. I was going to say a prayer after I addressed the attendance issue, but if you’d like for us to pray first, we will.”
After prayer he again addressed the issue of attendance. During his speech there was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” Payne commanded.
When the door opened Tressie looked up and locked eyes with the man of her dreams. The handsome stranger stared back at her. An electric current drew them both into a trance that neither could break.
“Payce, you wanted something?” Payne asked his twin brother.
“Um, yeah. I came in here to tell you that Daddy has made arrangements for you to catch a ride home with Deacon Law.”
“All right, thanks,” Payne replied.
Before Payce closed the door behind him, he winked at Tressie, planting a smile on her face that lasted for the remainder of the meeting.
After the meeting concluded, Mariah, the treasurer, walked over to speak with Tressie. “Hey, girl!”
“Hey, Mariah. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing much. What about you?” Mariah grinned. “I saw you checking out Payne’s brother.”
The smile dropped from Tressie’s face. “Payne’s brother? Where?”
“The guy who interrupted our meeting, Payne’s twin.”
“Twin!”
“Yes. You didn’t notice?” Mariah asked.
“No!”
“That’s probably because he had a wave cap on his head. They look exactly alike. He’s been locked up for the past year for selling drugs. Since his release, I heard he has been trying to get his life together.”
“I bet that’s really hard with a brother like Payne.”
They laughed together and walked out of the office.
“Girl, give me a call. Maybe we can hang out sometime.” Tressie waved good-bye to Mariah and went to track down Elise.
On the ride home Tressie was so excited about her brief encounter with Payce. She couldn’t wait to fill Elise in. “Elise, we had a connection. He looked deep into my eyes and I looked into his. That is going to be my new man. I’ve got to find him.”
“Tressie, slow down. You just met the guy.”
“Elise, he is what I’ve been praying for. I prayed for a thug. He is the man I’m supposed to marry.”
“Tressie, you didn’t even speak to him.”
“I didn’t have to. We spoke through our eyes,” she explained.
Elise laughed, thinking Tressie really had lost it.
“Listen, I prayed to the Lord for a thug. You should have seen him.” She began counting off her fingers. “He had a wave cap on his head, a white T-shirt, a pair of baggy shorts, and Timberland boots.”
“Well, for someone who only saw him for less than a minute, you sure did get a good look at his wardrobe.”
“I know.” She rattled on. “I was so mesmerized by his eyes that I didn’t even notice that he resembled Payne. I didn’t even notice they were twins until Mariah told me. Imagine me having to spend my entire life looking into Payne’s face—the person I despise the most.”
Elise laughed.
The following morning Elise decided to go for an early morning jog. Running was a stress reliever for her. It helped to clear her mind of the most recent burdens that were testing her faith. Her biggest concern was Miles and the sex that hadn’t existed in their marriage for months. She had to admit, it was hard for her to go from having sex just about every day to three months of consecutive celibacy. She was frustrated and unsure of what to do.
Elise stretched her legs in preparation for her run. Each time she ran the three-mile perimeter around the park, she compared it to running the race of life. She believed that Christians who crossed life’s finish line by enduring trials and tribulations would receive an abundance of blessings at the end. But not everyone will finish the race. Some people choose to spend their lives taking shortcuts and following their own plans that lead them off God’s desired course. Over time, they get tired of trying to make it to the finish line and quit the race. Unfortunately, a lot of people miss out on what God has to offer them.
Elise took a deep breath and started around the park. The intake of fresh air into her lungs invigorated her. Jogging along the path, she tried to think of alternative ways she could satisfy her sexual desires without committing adultery. I should invest in a vibrator, she thought. Although she had never used one before, she had heard they could be quite helpful. She knew that they came in different sizes, but she didn’t know what size she would need. She hoped they came with a user’s manual. She didn’t want to injure herself.
She was quickly approaching the end of the trail. Determined to finish the three-mile trail, she picked up her pace and circled the lake at high speed. Her legs were shaky and her joints ached. Ahead of her, she could see the marker where she started. Two steps from crossing the finish line, she was knocked to the ground with an intense pain that paralyzed her leg. She held her leg while a stream of blood flowed from the gash.
A strange man came and rushed to her side. “I am so sorry, ma’am.” She looked up into the stranger’s handsome face and was stunned by how handsome he was. His lips caught her attention first. He had a perfect set of full lips with a small mustache above his upper lip. Her sudden fascination with his lips scared her.
He asked her a series of questions, but Elise could not respond. Her sudden attraction to him left her speechless. Without warning, another shot of pain went up her leg.
“Ma’am, are you all right?” the stranger asked.
Elise nodded her head yes.
“I am so sorry.”
Elise found the strength to utter the words, “I’m okay.”
“I’m so sorry. You came from out of nowhere. I should have been more careful riding my bike.”
“No, I should have been looking at where I was going.”
“Can I take a look at that?” he asked, pointing to her leg. She slowly moved her hand so he could look at her wound more closely.
“That cut looks pretty deep. You may need stitches.”
“You think so?” Elise had a tremendous fear of hospitals. Her Nana died during surgery when she was eleven, and the mere sight of a hospital gave her the chills.
“Can you stand up?” He helped her to her feet, but she couldn’t put pressure on her leg. He made a suggestion. “How about you stay here and I’ll go get my car? Then I’ll take you to the hospital.”
“No, you don’t have to do that.” She looked at her leg. “I don’t think it’s that bad. I don’t need to go to the hospital.”
“Let’s just get a doctor’s opinion.” He knelt down and looked at her nasty wound.
Elise became hysterical. Her hands began to sweat and a look of horror came over her face. “No, please. I’m terrified of hospitals. I don’t want to go. Please don’t ask me to go.” Elise grabbed hold of his hand and tried to keep him from going to his car.
He knew she needed medical attention. “Relax; I’m not going to leave you. I promise. You’re going to be all right, but you need to have a doctor look at your leg.”
“I don’t want to go!” she screamed.
Surprised by her outburst, he tried to calm her. “Everything is going to be all right. You have to trust me. I’m going to pull my car around to the trail so you won’t have to walk far. Stay right here. I’ll be right back. Okay?” he asked.
Elise looked at him and nodded. The stranger ran away and Elise leaned back against a nearby tree. She hoped she wouldn’t regret agreeing to go to the hospital.
Sheridan sat in the hospital waiting room watching reruns of Three’s Company and looking at the hands on the clock move slowly around the dial. He was angry with himself for being so negligent. How could I have hit someone with my bike? Please, God, let her be alright. He was tired of waiting. They had been there for hours and the nurses wouldn’t give him an update a
bout her condition. When they arrived at the hospital he had attempted to go into the emergency room with her, but the hospital staff stopped him. They said that if he was needed, they would call him. He held her hand the entire ride to the hospital, but when he had to let go, she looked terrified. She even cried out for him. He felt bad. He had broken his promise not to leave her side.
Sheridan’s intention that morning was to get in a little exercise by riding his bicycle through the park before he went to his friend Kyle’s barbecue. He had been looking forward to the get-together all year long. He and a few of his buddies played cards, drank beer, and ate crabs—a party strictly for the guys.
He looked at the clock again. He had already missed the first three hours and he still needed to go home, shower, and change clothes. He decided to stop a nurse and try again to get some information. “Excuse me, could you give me an update on the woman I brought in?”
“I can’t tell you anything, but I’ll have a doctor come talk with you,” the nurse replied.
Sheridan sat back down. He hoped he wouldn’t have to wait much longer. All he wanted to do was get her stitched up and back to her car, and be on his way to the barbecue.
“Mr. Reed.” A doctor invited him to walk down the hospital corridor. “Mr. Reed, your wife is ready to go. She just needed a few stitches. She did get a little hysterical when she saw the needle we used to give her a tetanus shot. I guess she’s a little scared of hospitals, huh?”
Sheridan looked at the doctor strangely when he referred to Elise as his wife. He guessed the nurses had assumed she was his wife when he informed them that he would be paying for her hospital bill. After all, he was the reason she was in the hospital.