by Dynah Zale
He looked down at the floor in shame.
“I thought we were one. Didn’t you tell me you loved me? I thought you could tell me anything. Last night all I could think about was how many times you left my bed to go to work. I believed you when you said you were going to the Westin, when the truth was you were going to The Dollhouse to fuck somebody’s wife.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re too much of a lady to talk like that.”
“What do you care? You don’t want a lady. You want one of those whores who paid you hundreds of dollars to fuck them.”
“Tressie, I love you.”
“I don’t believe you have the audacity to sit in my face and say that. If this glass were not separating us, I’d spit in your face. How do you know one of those women weren’t HIV positive?”
“I wore a condom, every time. Tressie, you have got to believe me when I say I’m sorry for what I did and I love you.”
“You have a strange way of showing it.”
“I know I made some mistakes and there is no way I can take it back, but no matter what you say, we are a part of one another. Like you just reminded me, we are one. Nothing can separate us. Not even these bars.”
“What part of us,” she stressed her words, “thought it was all right to sleep with other women?” she asked softly with tears in her eyes. She loved him so much, and she couldn’t understand how he could betray her in such a way.
“Please don’t leave me when I need you most,” he pleaded.
Tressie hated to abandon him. She did love him and he deserved a second chance. Everyone thought the worst of him. Maybe he just needed someone to care, she thought.
“Tressie.” He looked into her eyes. “Will you be there for me when I get out?”
“I guess I don’t have any choice,” she replied.
Tressie knelt at the altar and stared up at the cross. Tears had dried on her face. “King of Kings and Lord of Lords, I’m crying out to you today to watch over Payce. I need you to keep him safe while in jail. Protect him, Lord. I know that he did wrong, but I ask that you look past his mistakes and see what’s inside his heart. Jesus, you have given so many of us a second chance—a second chance to serve you, a second chance to praise your name—and I know that if given the opportunity, Payce would take the second chance you give to him and use it to glorify your name. God, I ask that you intervene in our relationship. We cannot and will not last without you. We need your strength and your understanding. We are being faced with obstacles that I can’t endure, so I ask that you take the burden from me. Amen.”
Tressie stepped away from the altar as Elise walked into the sanctuary.
“Tressie, I heard about what happened with Payce.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Tressie cried. “I love him and I don’t want to lose him, but how can I trust him after this? What we had is ruined.”
“I understand how you must feel right now, but you did the right thing by coming here to pray. When the Lord answers your prayer, open your heart to accept his answer. It may not be what you want to hear. He may tell you that you and Payce were not meant to be together. Are you prepared to accept that?”
“Elise, how can he not be the one for me? He’s the bishop’s son.”
“Tressie, you know just as well as I do that being the bishop’s son doesn’t get you into Heaven. You have to be saved, and if I were you, I’d question whether or not Payce was saved by the things that he has done. Don’t think I’m here to judge Payce because I’m not. But don’t allow Payce’s mistakes to be a burden to you. You deserve better than that. Remember II Corinthians 6:14: ‘Be ye not unequally yoked with non-believers.’” Elise hugged her. “Just think about what I said. The Spirit will lead you in the right direction.”
SEPTEMEBER 2004
Tressie ran out of the university library trying to catch the last bus home. If she missed this bus, the next one wasn’t scheduled to come until after four o’clock. She had lost track of time doing research for a paper that was due tomorrow. Her classes were over for the day, but she still had a lot of studying to do. Three different instructors had scheduled exams on the same day, and she was prepared to pull an all-nighter and study until dawn.
Running down the sidewalk, she quickly turned the corner and was suddenly knocked to the ground. Her books scattered over the pavement and her purse slid a few feet away from her. Tressie sat on the pavement, ready to call the scoundrel who ran into her and made her miss her bus every dirty four letter word she could think of, when she looked up and was greeted by a familiar face.
Quinton Briscoe smiled back at her and gallantly rose to his feet. “Tressie, are you all right?” He held out his hand to help her up.
She grabbed his hand and brushed the dirt off her clothes. Onlookers who witnessed the accident asked if they were okay. Quinton reassured them that they were both fine.
Quinton Briscoe was Tressie’s first boyfriend, first love, and first heartbreak. Tressie and Quinton dated for several months before he got bored and started dating a girl from New Jersey. Tressie was hurt, but she hid the pain in her heart and over time she recovered. She later learned that he had been arrested on drug charges and sent away for a few years.
An unexpected hot flash passed through her body, her face turned red, and her palms began to sweat. She couldn’t control her body’s reaction to seeing Quinton after all these years.
“Quinton, what are you doing here?”
“I came to drop something off to my sister.”
Tressie stared at his wavy hair. She wanted to touch it. It looked so soft. “I have seen your sister around campus a few times.”
“She forgot one of her books this morning and I promised I would bring it to her.” Quinton bent down to pick Tressie’s books up from the ground. “Were you late for class? I’m sorry if I stopped you.”
“No, I was trying to catch the bus home, but I think I missed it.”
“If you need a ride home, I’d be happy to drop you off. My car is parked right around the corner.”
“I’d appreciate that,” she replied.
Once they were in the car he inquired about her life. “So how is everything for you? Fill me in. Have I missed out on anything exciting? Are you married? Any children?”
“No kids. No husband. Just me. I’ve been studying a lot, trying to finish school. What about yourself?”
“I got a job in Jersey at a warehouse. They put me on third shift, which I’m not too happy about, but besides that I’m doing all right,” he told her. “Just trying to get back what I lost. Being away all those years hurt me, but I’m trying to do right this time.” Quinton merged onto the expressway northbound. “I didn’t hear you mention anything about a boyfriend.”
She thought about Payce and was quickly reminded of the promise she made to wait for him.
“I do have a boyfriend.” She cleared her throat. “I’m dating Payce Boyd.”
“Payce Boyd,” he said out loud. “Payce Boyd, the bishop’s son?”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“I heard he was arrested for male prostitution.”
Tressie slowly nodded her head. Her face turned red from embarrassment. Payce was making it hard for her to stand by his side.
“Tressie, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. He’s a lucky man to have you in his corner. I wish I had you when I was locked down.”
Quinton pulled up to her house. “How are your parents doing?”
“They’re doing well.”
“Tell them I said hello.”
“I will. I’ll see you around.”
She quickly got out of his car and rushed into the house. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw his car pull away. He still looks as fine as ever. He had grown from a boy to a man. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of iced tea. She turned on the fan to cool herself down. “Payce, please hurry up and come home,” she said to herself. “If I keep running into Quinton, there’s no tel
ling what a girl might do.”
Chapter 16
OCTOBER 2004
Tressie sat in the school cafeteria eating her lunch. She had exactly twenty minutes before the start of her next class. She took a huge bite of her sandwich when a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.
“Excuse me, miss, is this seat taken?” Quinton stood at her table with a bouquet of fresh wildflowers in his hands. She wiped the mayonnaise away from the corners of her mouth.
“Are those for me?” she asked.
“I brought them for the prettiest girl in school.”
“Well then, they must be for me.” She reached out for them. “They’re gorgeous. Thank you, but why did you buy me flowers?”
“I was hoping to get a smile from you,” he admitted.
“You didn’t have to buy me flowers to get me to smile.”
“I thought that my new cologne might do the trick, but I wasn’t sure. So I bought the flowers just in case.”
They laughed and he pulled up a chair next to hers. “Tressie, I was wondering if you were free this afternoon.”
She looked at him strangely. Reluctant to answer his question, she asked him why.
“Don’t get any ideas. You already told me you were involved with Payce. I was just hoping we could hang out for a little while this afternoon, like old times. It doesn’t have to be anything special. Maybe we could just go for a walk?” he suggested.
He looked so innocent and sincere that she couldn’t turn him down. Besides, she didn’t see any harm in taking a walk.
“I’ll meet you at Broad and Cecil B. Moore at three o’clock,” she told him.
“I won’t be late.” He got up and left.
At exactly three o’clock Quinton pulled up to the corner, and minutes later they were riding rented bicycles in Fairmont Park.
“Slow down, Tressie!” Quinton shouted.
Tressie was attempting to finish the entire eight-mile perimeter without stopping to rest. It was her idea to rent bicycles. She hadn’t ridden a bike since she was a kid, and she thought it would be fun. She stopped to allow Quinton to catch up.
He pulled up beside her, out of breath. “Girl, I can see how you managed to stay in shape. Can we walk the bikes for a while? I see a bench over there.” He pointed to a corner picnic area.
“If we must,” she pouted.
They walked over to the bench and parked their bikes.
“I thought guys were supposed to work out in jail,” Tressie said.
“Most do. But I was always in the library studying,” he responded.
“Trying to be the good guy?” she asked.
“I remember at one time you used to like good guys.”
“I did, but all that changed when I met you.”
He laughed. “What would you call Payce?”
“Payce is MINE,” she said with confidence.
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t just love him, I love everything about him. Even when he does wrong, I love him even more because I know that he is human and is capable of making mistakes.”
“Does he love you?”
“I believe he does.”
“I hope you’re right, because sometimes people confuse love with lust. Being behind those prison walls will make a man say things he really doesn’t mean.”
“Payce was in love with me before he went to jail, and when he comes home, he’ll still be in love with me.”
“I don’t want to see you get hurt,” he replied.
Tressie walked over to look out over the Schuylkill River. Quinton walked up close behind her.
“Didn’t you just tell me not to confuse love and lust?” She put some distance between the two of them. “I think you’re lusting for me right now.”
“I’ve been lusting for you for five years.” He grabbed her and held her close. She didn’t make any effort to break away from his embrace. He slowly brushed his soft lips across hers. He looked into her eyes and she quickly turned away. She released herself from his embrace.
“Quinton, what do you want from me?”
“I want you. I don’t want anything but you.”
“You know that’s not possible.”
“Why? Because of Payce. He’s locked up and I’m right here.” He walked up to her and held her hand. “Tressie, all I want is a chance, a chance to show you that we would be good together.”
Unsure of what to do or say, Tressie played it safe. “Can you give me some time? I heard everything you’ve said, but I’m still in love with Payce, and while our relationship has hit some shaky ground, I can’t just walk out on him. I need some time to sort out my feelings.”
“Okay, I’ll give you some space,” Quinton responded.
Payce walked to the officer’s desk and signed for his personal things. “You never told me who it was that bailed me out,” he said to the officer.
“The lady standing behind you,” the officer replied.
Payce turned around and saw Reverend Kane standing in the corner. He grumbled a few words under his breath, grabbed his wallet, and walked out of the prison facility.
Reverend Kane followed him outside. “Payce, you could thank me for bailing you out,” she yelled.
Payce kept walking and yelled out, “Thanks, Rev.”
“No thanks needed,” she replied. “Natasha is the one who paid the bail money.”
He stopped walking. “I thought she was in jail,” he said. Then he realized something else. “Why weren’t you arrested?”
“Can we talk in my car? I can give you a ride home.” She motioned for him to follow her. He was reluctant to follow, but he knew that she was the only one who could answer his questions.
“When the police raided Natasha’s house, I happened to be down in the wine cellar. Someone from the party requested a rare vintage wine, and Natasha asked me if I could go get it for her. That’s when I heard the commotion upstairs. I hid out down there until the following morning. The first person I bailed out was Natasha. After she was released, she posted bail for the rest of her employees. You were the last person we had to get out.”
“Why was I the last one to get bailed out? She told me I was one of her best employees. I should have been first.”
“You are one of her best employees. I asked her to allow me to post your bail. I wanted to be the one to get you out of this mess, since I am the one who got you into it. Payce, I owe you an apology. I never meant for any of this to happen. The last thing I wanted was for you to go back to jail.”
Reverend Kane sounded so remorseful that he couldn’t allow her to take all the blame. He knew she was only trying to help him out. “Don’t worry about it, Rev,” Payce said. “I’ve been in worse situations and I came out of them just fine. Besides, it wasn’t entirely your fault. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but again, I allowed money to lead me down the wrong path.”
“I still feel guilty,” she said. “Plus, I thought you should know I talked with your father.”
“What did he have to say?”
“He’s disappointed and mad, so be prepared for a long lecture when you get home tonight.”
“I guess it’s safe to say you didn’t tell my father about you working at The Dollhouse.”
Reverend Kane shook her head no. “I wanted to. I intended to tell him everything, but I lost the nerve at the last minute.”
“Reverend Kane, are you going to continue to hide who you really are?”
“I’m still praying on it, and I know that God will forgive me because he forgives all sinners, but I’m concerned about the church. Will the congregation accept me for who I am, or will they reject me? I love that church too much to up and leave. I love the singing and the glory that is given to God in praise. On Sunday mornings I love to watch the children learn about who Jesus is, and you should see their faces when they realize what God has done for them. If I tell the church who I really am, I have to be ready for the repercussions that may follow.”
“H
ave you ever thought about starting your own church?”
“I have, but it takes a lot to start a church. I need at least one person to support me in an endeavor that large.”
“You already have one. You have Jesus.”
“Yes, I do.” She smiled. “Plus, I’ve met somebody.”
“That’s great!” Payce replied. “You didn’t meet her at The Dollhouse, did you?”
“No, actually she’s been a friend of mine for years. We recently discovered our love for one another.”
“That’s great. I hope that means you’ll stay away from places like The Dollhouse.”
“No, I’m not looking to work at anymore lesbian spas. I think I’m going to retire from that line of business.” Reverend Kane parked her car a few blocks away from Payce’s home.
“I guess this is where we say good-bye,” Payce said. “I have to face my father. I’m not looking forward to it, but it’s something I have to do.”
“Payce, I admire you for facing your problems.”
“That is one thing my father has always taught me and my brother—to be responsible for the wrong we’ve done. Thanks a lot for the ride, Reverend Kane.”
Several weeks had passed since that afternoon Tressie shared with Quinton, and since then he had showed her a side of him she didn’t know existed. Quinton did everything he could to prove to Tressie that they belonged together. Every week he took her out to the movies, a play, or dinner. His heartfelt generosity was refreshing. He did all the things Payce didn’t. He asked about her day, what she did in class, and he was even interested in her involvement at church.
The ultimate surprise came the day he whisked her off to a secluded lake in the suburbs for a picnic and washed her feet in fresh spring water.
Tressie was definitely impressed by how attentive Quinton was to her needs, but as much as she liked Quinton, she was still in love with Payce. Payce was her soul mate, her gift from God. She refused to end their relationship over a few mistakes.
Payce had called her a few times since his release from jail, but she wasn’t ready to see him yet. She was still upset and needed some more time alone. Each time she spoke with him, he sounded so happy. Unfortunately, she couldn’t return the enthusiasm. He kept asking to see her, but each time she made up excuses. She knew she couldn’t hide forever. She was going to have to see him sooner or later, but in the meantime if Quinton wanted to continue to take her out and spend time with her, she wasn’t going to deny herself the opportunity to have him treat her nice.