“I vow to love and cherish you forever,” he whispered ardently. “I vow to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
“I do not doubt it,” she laughed, deliriously happy.
“Will we return to the house?” he whispered, nuzzling her ear. “Shall we inform the world of our intention?”
She smiled slowly. She would like nothing better than to shout it from the rooftops. But she was suddenly beset by something else. A final barrier to them coming together freely and publicly.
There was still the matter of James, who believed that she was intending to marry him.
Her heart turned over. James was a good man – one of the very best. And while she knew that he was not in love with her and therefore could not be broken-hearted by her decision, she needed to speak to him and tell him herself before news leaked out. He deserved that at the very least.
She fervently hoped he would not be too disappointed in her.
“Not yet,” she whispered, “there is just one more thing that I must do.”
Chapter 22
It did not happen the way that she had intended it, at all.
They had just returned to the house, entering the drawing room. Mama was seated on an armchair, seemingly engrossed in her needlepoint. But Sarah could tell that she had just hastily taken her seat. Perhaps one of the servants had informed her that they were returning to the house.
Lady Pembleton made a great show of raising her face slowly from her work to greet them, as if she hadn’t been expecting them at all. She was strangely flushed, with two pink roses in her cheeks. She gasped just a little as her eyes came to rest upon Lord Nordarken.
“My,” she breathed, biting her lip. “You are the spitting image of your father, My Lord.”
Arthur smiled. “I shall take that as a compliment, My Lady.”
Lady Pembleton blushed deeper, looking like a girl. “You have my blessing,” she said slowly, her hand trembling where it clutched the embroidery needle. “It is odd, but I feel as if things have come full circle at long last. As if the two of you have healed what happened in the past in some way.”
Sarah gazed up at Arthur. He looked inordinately pleased and proud.
“I can see why my father fell in love with you, Lady Pembleton,” he said slowly. “He loved and lost but it all turned out for the good in the end. It truly has come full circle.”
Lady Pembleton rose, approaching them. She kissed Sarah softly on the cheek.
“I am so very happy for you, dearest,” she whispered. “I know that it has not seemed that way, but I always desired for you to find love as well as security. And now, you shall have both. My dreams for you have come true.”
Sarah hugged her mother fiercely. “Thank you, Mama. It means the world to me that you are happy for me and have been courageous enough to put the past behind you, for our sake.”
“Treat her well,” said Lady Pembleton, turning to Arthur. “You have acquired a rare jewel, sir, and must always be mindful of it.”
“I vow to cherish her, My Lady,” said Arthur, bowing courteously.
They all turned as one as Lord Pembleton walked into the room. His face was impassive as he stared at the threesome.
“Papa?” said Sarah, in a small voice.
“I see that you two are as thick as thieves,” he said. “I must say, I never thought I would see the day when I would be welcoming a Colton into the family. Wonders will never cease.”
Sarah laughed. Slowly, she walked up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“I am sorry I have led you on such a merry dance,” she whispered.
Lord Pembleton grunted, as he hugged her back. “All is well that ends well, I suppose,” he said gruffly. “At least I shall be able to retire to my study again now. No more evenings gallivanting around the countryside in search of a suitor for you, missy!”
They all laughed. Sarah did not know if she had ever felt a moment of such perfect happiness in her life.
Foster, the butler, walked into the room.
“Excuse me, Lady Sarah,” he said, “but Lord Tolmere is here to call upon you.”
They all looked shocked. It was obvious in the excitement none of them had heard a carriage pull up.
Lady Pembleton took Arthur’s arm firmly. “We must leave them to it,” she said, looking at Sarah pointedly. “You have much to explain to James, my dear.” She turned back to Arthur. “We shall take you on a tour of the house while my daughter entertains her caller, Sir.”
Arthur nodded, glancing back at Sarah sympathetically. The three exited the room.
Sarah trembled. She knew she must do this – James must be informed, and she must be the one to do it. She had just not been expecting it to happen quite so quickly. The whole morning was not what she had expected at all.
***
Her heart was pounding with apprehension when James finally entered the room.
“James,” she squeaked, smoothing down the skirt of her gown, “I was not expecting you.”
He frowned slightly, gazing at her. “You look flushed, Sarah. Are you coming down with a fever?”
She forced a laugh. “No, no, I am feeling quite well!” She paused. “Do sit down. I have just sent for tea.”
They sat down, opposite one another. Sarah kept darting nervous glances at him, dreading what was ahead. James simply had no idea of what had been happening at Pembleton Hall over the past week. He didn’t know that the Earl of Halwell had visited, nor that Arthur had sought her father out. He was in the dark about all of it. How on earth was she to broach the subject?
“I have been thinking,” he said slowly, as the maid laid down the tea service on the table in front of them, “I know that I promised to be patient with you, Sarah, but I feel we must inform your parents of our intention to marry now.” He paused, gazing at her sharply. “What do you have to say?”
Sarah didn’t answer as she carefully poured the tea, handing him a cup with a slightly trembling hand. The moment she had been dreading had arrived. She could not put it off for a second longer.
She took a deep breath, gazing at him. “James, there is something I must tell you…”
“Where is your good mother, by the way?” he interrupted, sipping his tea. “She usually makes a point of staying in the room to chaperone.”
“James,” she blurted. “Stop. I have something I must say!”
He gazed at her in amazement. Slowly, he lowered his teacup, placing it on the table.
“Go ahead, then,” he said slowly. “You look as if you are about to burst your waters, rather like a tea kettle. As if your lid is surely about to pop.”
She laughed, despite herself. James had always been able to make her laugh. He was such a witty man as well as being kind and generous. She so didn’t want to hurt him in anyway. But she was powerless now to control the outcome of what his reaction to her news would be.
“I cannot marry you,” she said, her voice shaking. “Not now and not ever.”
He looked dumbfounded. “Are you still infatuated with that rake Nordarken? You know that your parents will never entertain him as a suitor, Sarah.” He paused. “I thought you would have been over it all by now.”
“I am not over it and never shall be,” she declared fervently. “James, much has happened since I last saw you, and you must let me speak and tell you before I surely do burst.”
He frowned. “Go on.”
She took another deep breath. “All is resolved between my parents and the Earl of Halwell,” she said slowly. “My father and the earl have spoken. The old scandal is not an issue between them any longer.”
James’s frown deepened. “Well, even if that is true, you know that Nordarken has no serious intentions about you, Sarah. The gentleman is a player if ever I saw one. Trust me; I know.”
“He is not,” cried Sarah, feeling distressed. “He is honourable, James. He does hold me in serious regard.” She paused. “He has asked for my father’s permission to propos
e to me, and I am thrilled to say that my father gave it. We are to be wed, James.”
She had never seen James look so astonished. He obviously had heard no rumours about the Earl of Halwell’s shock visit to Pembleton Hall, nor Arthur’s. He was utterly blindsided by it all.
“He has proposed, and you have accepted?” he said, in a horrified whisper. “And what of the promise that you gave to me, madam? What of that?”
Sarah hung her head in shame. “You know that I was always ambivalent about it,” she whispered. “You knew what my feelings were for Lord Nordarken and that I was struggling with the idea of marrying you without love. I am sorry, James, but I must follow my heart.” She gazed at him imploringly, willing him to understand.
James’s shock had diminished. Now, he just looked furiously angry.
“You have played me for a fool,” he said, in a low, angry whisper. “Stringing me along with an empty promise! I never took you for a lady who would stoop to such things, Lady Sarah, but it appears that I was mistaken.”
“I am sorry,” she cried, feeling utterly miserable. “I never wished to deceive you or string you along with a false promise.” She took a deep, ragged breath. “I admire you greatly, James. I know that you have only ever acted out of kindness towards me. Please, can we still be friends?”
He gazed at her sadly. She could see in his eyes how much she had disappointed him.
“It is odd,” he said slowly. “I never wished for a wife – most of my life I have actively avoided the prospect altogether.” He paused. “But I must say, I did come around to the idea of marrying you, Sarah. I thought that we had enough real affection between us to make a good partnership. It would have solved the problem of having no heir for the estate, as well.”
“But can you not see that is just the problem?” cried Sarah. “Even in saying this – the reasons you are disappointed I shall not become your wife – there is still no mention of something that should be at the heart of any marriage, in my opinion.” She blinked back tears. “Love.”
James looked angry again. “You are not just a liar, Lady Sarah, but a romantic fool as well.” He paused. “Not everyone can marry for love, My Lady. Not everyone has the freedom to do so. We must make the best of it.”
Sarah gazed at him sadly. She knew for sure now what she had suspected.
No, James could never marry for love. The world simply would not allow it. He must pretend to be something he was not in order to gain respectability in the eyes of society and fulfil his late father’s wish for the estate to have an heir.
Her heart bled for him, that he could never know love within the bounds of marriage. But that did not mean that she could not, or should not, aspire to it just because he couldn’t. She had her own life to live and she would not throw it away in a loveless marriage just out of a sense of obligation towards him.
“I wish to keep your good opinion of me,” she said slowly. “Not just for my sake, but for Mary’s as well.” She exhaled. “But I shall suffer the lack of it if you cannot resolve yourself to my choice, James. I can marry for love and I intend to.”
He glanced at her sharply. Their eyes met. And in that moment, she saw that he knew she had divined his secret reason for never being able to marry for love. He coloured slightly but raised his chin defiantly.
“It takes all sorts to make this world,” he declared tartly. “I would still have cherished you as my wife regardless of the fact I can never love a woman in a romantic way.”
“I know,” she said sadly. “I believe you. But it is not enough for me, James. I have a gentleman who loves me and is willing to marry me because of that love. I do not wish for anything more in this life.”
“I still do not believe he is not a rake,” said James, his eyes glittering. “He has dallied with you, Sarah. He did not declare himself honestly to you. I have grave reservations…”
“Then let me put them to rest,” said a deep voice, at the door.
They both spun around. Arthur was standing there.
“Can I come in?” he asked, addressing Sarah. “I think that Lord Tolmere and I should speak candidly.”
Sarah nodded cautiously, not daring to look at James.
Arthur entered, settling himself beside Sarah on the chaise lounge. Without saying a word he picked up her left hand, squeezing it gently. He faced James.
“I love Sarah with all my heart,” he said slowly. “I understand why you have your doubts about me, Lord Tolmere, but let me assure you they are groundless.” He hesitated. “I did not court her properly to begin with. That was a grave error on my part. But I have seen the light, so to speak, and realise what an exceptional lady she is. I promise you I shall treat her like gold.”
Sarah glanced at him, exalting in his words.
“If I had courted her properly to begin with, this complication would never have occurred,” he continued. “She would have been sure of my affection and not so confused that she accepted your proposal. That is my fault alone. So do not blame the lady, Lord Tolmere, for disappointing you. Blame me.”
“Oh, I do,” said James, his eyes narrowing. “I blame you utterly, Lord Nordarken. You may have fooled the ingenue who sits beside you with your honeyed words, and you may even have managed to fool her parents, but you do not fool me.”
“Stop it, James,” said Sarah sharply. She was starting to lose patience with him. How many times could they both say they were sorry before he gave an inch over it all? “It was never a love match between us. You are not nursing a broken heart so stop acting like you are.” She took a deep breath. “I am not so much of an ingenue as you imagine. Lord Nordarken never took advantage of me. I was a willing participant in all of it. And I loved every minute of it.”
Both gentlemen stared at her in utter amazement. Arthur’s eyes were shining with admiration, as if he were witnessing Boadicea herself riding into battle on a chariot. James just looked shocked.
Abruptly, she stood up. “Chin up, James,” she said tartly. “You shall recover to fight another day. You may even find another lady willing to go into that loveless partnership you desire. But my mind is made up. I shall marry Lord Nordarken and you had better get used to the idea.”
There was a stunned silence for a moment. But then, James slowly began to clap, his mouth twitching.
“Oh, bravo,” he said slowly. “Did you always intend to haul me over the coals after you grovelled a little?” His eyes were alight with amusement.
“Maybe,” said Sarah, her own mouth twitching.
James stood up. He was grinning from ear to ear. “Lady Sarah,” he said, mock bowing. “Lord Nordarken. I wish you every happiness in the world.” He turned to Arthur. “Make sure you keep your eye on this one, My Lord. She’s a minx, there’s no doubt about it.”
Arthur stood up, extending his hand to James. “No hard feelings, Tolmere?”
James stared at the hand for a second, before clasping it. “No hard feelings. As the lady so eloquently put it, there are no broken hearts here.” He gazed steadily at Arthur. “The best man has won and that is all that matters at the end of the day. Good luck to you both.”
He swept out of the room without another word. Sarah thought she heard him jauntily whistling as he made his exit from the house. Could James be actually relieved, beneath all that bluster? She wouldn’t be surprised at all.
Arthur turned to her. “Well. That was an unexpected twist at the end.”
Courting A Sinful Stranger: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 16