“You claim to know me so well, yet you don’t even know my real name.”
Her words replayed in my mind, as did everything else she’d revealed to me in the ouroboros’s tunnels.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Wren
“Did you screw Corson?”
Jolie plopped down on the bleacher beside me, drawing my attention away from the dwindling line of people receiving their food.
“What?” I was proud my voice didn’t come out as a squeak. Had I heard what she said correctly? I knew I had, but I didn’t want to have this conversation with her. I fisted my hands to keep from fidgeting with my hair. I’d left it down to cover Corson’s marks on me, but I should have known Jolie would notice something was off. Maybe, if I played dumb, she would rethink her question or drop the subject.
“Did you… screw… Corson?” This time, she drew the question out like I had trouble hearing.
I hadn’t believed she would let it go, but I found myself feeling defensive as I held Jolie’s lovely green eyes. Everything about Jolie was different than me, from her petite, five-foot-two stature to her ample breasts, and golden brown hair. Jolie had never found sex to be a mechanical event unworthy of her time. No, she actively sought out new partners, and as she put it, she took each of them for a spin before trading him in for the next one that caught her eye.
We had many differences, but Jolie had become one of my closest friends over the five years since she’d first wandered into our camp. It was impossible not to like her. She could ruthlessly cut the head from a demon one second and give her last shirt to someone in the next second.
I refused to look at Corson as I pulled my backpack closer to me. Jolie had kept it safe for me after Corson and I fell in the ouro’s trap. “And if I did?”
“I’m asking if you did.”
Her gaze flicked to where my hair fell around my neck. I’d never lied to Jolie; I didn’t lie to anyone. It was completely pointless in this world. However, what had passed between me and Corson had been private and I wasn’t sure I was ready to share it, or the fact that I had given in to my desire for him.
I should have been strong enough to resist Corson, but I wasn’t ashamed of what had passed between us. Jolie wouldn’t hate me for sleeping with a demon; some of the other Wilders might turn against me because of it, but Jolie wouldn’t.
A sick feeling churned in my stomach at the idea of any of the Wilders turning against me because of Corson. I couldn’t stop myself from looking to him, and I wasn’t astonished to find his striking citrine eyes on me. Those eyes were magnificent, he was magnificent, and looking at him made me want him all over again. If I were forced to choose between him and the Wilders, it would tear me in two.
“Yes,” I said and looked to Jolie again. “I slept with him.”
I braced myself for Jolie’s response. Her lips compressed and something hardened in her eyes. “Working with them is one thing, Wren, taking them into your bed…” Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head as if she was disappointed with me.
Resentment twisted in my chest. “You have no right to judge who I do or don’t take into my bed. I’ve never judged you for your bedmates.”
“I’m not judging you for sleeping with a demon, most people in this room have by now,” she replied with a careless wave of her hand. “Including me.”
“Wait, what?” I blurted.
Jolie propped her chin in her palm. “What can I say, humans are a curious bunch.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know how you would react, and I haven’t told you everyone I’ve slept with. I’m not sure we’d have enough time left for that!” She laughed.
“I wouldn’t have been mad that you had sex with a demon.”
“No, you wouldn’t have, but you also wouldn’t have understood. Now, you do.”
“If you and almost every other person here has screwed a demon, then why are you shaking your head at me as if I did something wrong?” I asked.
“Because I knew what it meant when I screwed a demon. I’m in it for the get in and get out with every guy I screw, and it’s great that demons are the same way too. No strings, no complications, that’s the way I roll. However, you’ve stayed more detached and warier of the demons than the rest of us have, so pure curiosity and getting off wouldn’t be enough for you to bed one of them. If you had sex with Corson, that means there’s feelings involved for you, and getting attached to their sexual partners is not the way demons work.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I didn’t have feelings mixed up with Todd,” I reminded her. “I was more than happy to walk away from him.”
“That’s because Todd was a tool who had no idea how to please a woman. His idea of foreplay was sticking it in.”
I did a double take at her words. “You slept with Todd?”
“It was after you,” Jolie replied. “I ran into him at another camp while you were on a scouting mission.”
“You never told me.”
“It was extremely forgettable. He never should have been your first. No wonder you never pursued another man until now.” Jolie glanced at Corson before focusing on me once more. “And with the way that demon’s staring at you, I think he pursued you.”
I shrugged. “Mutual curiosity.”
“I see,” Jolie said. “He watches you in a way none of the demons watch us humans. I think most demons forget who they have and haven’t had sex with, but I’ve done that too. I’ve never seen any of the demons show so much interest in another, except for the king with his queen.”
I fidgeted with the straps of my backpack and glanced toward the dwindling line of people receiving their food. My stomach rumbled, but I remained seated as everyone got their share.
“I watch you wait until your followers have all eaten before you do, and I see you take less food than they do.”
Corson’s words played through my head. They weren’t my followers, not really. I’d been left in charge when Randy left, but he was their true leader. However, Corson had noticed me standing on the sidelines while the others got their food, yet I’d never realized I did it. Randy had always stood back and waited, and every time I’d stood with him while the others received their rations. Then, Randy would send me to get my meal, and he would take whatever remained.
Perhaps Randy had known what he was doing, but for me, waiting had merely been the way things were, and that wouldn’t change. I would never be able to eat while one of them stood behind me in line for food.
“I don’t want to see you get hurt, Wren,” Jolie said, breaking into my reverie.
“I won’t,” I replied.
She dipped her head to the side in a way that enhanced the prettiness of her elfin features. “Orgasms can do strange things to women. I think it fries some of their brains.”
I chuckled. “I assure you my mind is uncooked right now.”
“Then maybe you should do some more cooking.”
“First, you’re telling me you don’t want to see me hurt; then you’re telling me to go back for seconds.”
“I don’t remember the last time I heard you chuckle; cooked brain might be worth it. But I’ll shove his talons up his ass if he hurts you.”
“I’ll do that myself.”
“Sure, you’re the toughest chick I know, physically. Emotionally, you’re a stunted teddy bear.”
“Jolie—”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m emotionally stunted too. There’s no way we can be well-rounded individuals after everything we’ve seen and endured.”
Jolie was at a friend’s house when Hell broke open. It had taken her two days to return home where she’d discovered the bodies of her nanny and two younger sisters. She didn’t know what had become of her parents. She’d once told me she hoped they were dead.
“But then, this life and the emotionally stunted who rock it are the new normal now,” she continued. “There’s no going back to those somewhat well-roun
ded human beings I’m told once existed in this world.”
“No, there’s not. Are they going to hate me if something develops between Corson and me?” I whispered and waved at the Wilders who were mostly sitting on the floor or sleeping now.
“Some won’t like it and I’m not sure how Randy will take it. You’re like a daughter to him, but he’ll adapt too. Working and living with the demons is the way of things for us now. Most have accepted that. The ones who haven’t will die if they decide they’d prefer to be on their own. It might be a little rough in the beginning for you, but what hasn’t been?”
“Not much.”
“If this is something you want, if this is something you can handle, then go for it.”
“I know, I know, life is short, we could all be dead tomorrow,” I said what she’d often quoted to me.
The amusement vanished from her face as she stared at me. “If we were guaranteed another thousand years, I’d still tell you to go for it, Wren. There is so much unhappiness in this world that we must take happiness wherever we can find it.” She slapped her knees and hopped up. “And don’t forget, I’ll be here if you need me for anything.”
Before I could reply, she stepped off the bleacher and strolled across the gym toward where Chet dispersed the food. He handed pieces of jerky out to her and a chunk of what I knew had to be stale bread.
I pondered her words as I watched her. Most of the people here had also slept with a demon, she’d said. I had no idea how Randy would react if he were still alive and discovered me in some relationship with a demon, but most of those in this room wouldn’t hate me. A weight I hadn’t realized was bearing down on my shoulders lifted, leaving me feeling lighter than I’d felt in years.
I wouldn’t have to choose between Corson and everything I’d known for most of my life.
When Chet turned toward me, I realized everyone else had received their meals, and it was now my turn. Removing my flashlight from the front pocket of my backpack, I tucked my bag under my seat, and rose. I was keenly aware of Corson’s eyes following me as I walked across the gym to claim my dinner.
“Hey, Wren,” Chet greeted as he handed me two pieces of jerky. “Bread’s gone, but I do have a few pea pods.”
“No, we’ll save them for tomorrow,” I replied.
Taking a bite of my jerky, I surveyed the people gathered in the gym. No one had complained about having to sleep on the hard floor with their thin blankets. The forest floor offered softer bedding, but this was nowhere near the worst place any of us had slept.
However, this might be one of the most dangerous places we’d ever slept with its size and multiple entrances and exits, but there was no help for that. There were numerous guards posted, and Caim and Raphael were outside the school keeping watch. They would be able to spot any threats coming toward us. This school was the safest we’d get tonight. Tomorrow, we would come up with a new plan.
Turning away from the people and demons settling on the floor, I made my way to the double doors leading toward the hallway beyond. The two demons in front of them stepped aside to let me pass. I pushed open one of the doors and stepped out. The two demons standing there nodded to me before resuming their guard.
Walking away from them, I strolled down the hall of closed classroom doors. We’d explored the whole building to make sure it was clear of enemies before settling in for the night, yet I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did another walk-through. Two more demons stood guard at the end of the hall, but this was where the guards stopped.
I didn’t say anything to them as I stared at the closed, double doors leading out of the school before looking toward the auditorium across from me, and then the stairs on my left. I didn’t bother with the auditorium as I turned and ascended to the second floor.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Wren
Pulling the flashlight out of my back pocket, I clicked it on and kept its small beam aimed at the floor. Solar powered, and a gift from Randy soon after we’d met, the flashlight had managed to survive with me. I dreaded the day when I clicked the switch on and no beam greeted me.
At the top of the stairs, I stared at the closed classroom doors interspersed with the rusting lockers that lined the hall between them. We’d shut every classroom door after checking them for anything hiding within. They all remained closed now. Most of the locks on the lockers were broken, probably by someone searching for supplies.
Stopping before one of the lockers, I lifted the metal handle and peered into the empty locker. I’d never made it to high school and never had a locker. My elementary school did have cubbies for us to store our things in, or at least I think that’s what we’d called them. My memories of the small space with my name in pink lettering over it were fuzzy, but I knew I’d placed my lunch box in something every day to keep it safe.
I’d taken such joy in my metal lunchbox with the Care Bears, or was it Transformers, on it? Maybe I’d had both. Back then, getting a new lunchbox every year had been very important to me. Now, I’d toss that box aside for one bite of the cupcakes or sweet treat my mom always stashed inside. Like my dad, my sweet tooth had been insatiable, and no lunch or dinner was complete without dessert.
The batter for those oatmeal cookies was the last sweet treat I could remember eating. I was certain I’d stumbled across some candy bars or something over the years, but I didn’t recall what they’d tasted like. However, I could still taste that batter on my tongue as clearly as the jerky I swallowed.
Now the only treat I had was a six-four demon with an attitude and the ability to make a woman scream in ecstasy.
My pulse quickened at the memory of Corson’s body moving over mine. I closed the door on the locker as if that could shut out the way Corson had felt inside me. I gritted my teeth against the memory as I strolled onto the next locker.
Opening the locker, my breath caught when I saw the textbooks stashed within. Chemistry, Calculus, and Sociology were written onto the spines facing me. I ran my finger over the brown Chemistry binding. When the cover broke apart, I realized the book had been bound in paper.
Dust drifted up from the bottom of the locker when I pulled the book out and flipped it open. The scent of mildewing paper wafted up to me. My nose twitched, and I couldn’t suppress a sneeze. With watery eyes, I brought the strange equations on the page into focus. In another life, I would have learned what the things in this book meant. Would I have liked chemistry?
I’d enjoyed the science Randy taught me, hadn’t been the biggest fan of history, but math was fun. I probably would have enjoyed chemistry. Maybe, I would have been a doctor or a scientist or someone who wore a white lab coat. No one wore white anymore, it drew too much attention, but maybe the Wren in that nonexistent other life would have liked wearing it.
No, I wouldn’t have been Wren in that life. I would have been an entirely different woman with a whole different name. Maybe, I would have had a husband and home by now, perhaps a child or two. I could almost see that home, almost hear the love I was certain would have filled it. My parents would have come over to laugh as they watched their grandchildren toddling around.
Now the water in my eyes had nothing to do with dust.
Slamming the book closed, I shoved it into the locker and closed the door on that imaginary life. This was why Wilders stashed away personal items in homes before they established them as safe houses. No one wanted to think about the could have beens of their lives and the losses they’d endured.
Resolving not to look into any more lockers, I stalked down the hallway. My eyes roamed over the small glass windows in every classroom door. The footprints of those who had searched this hall earlier were the only things disturbing the dust coating the floor. The spiders had made this high school their home for fourteen years, and they were not thrilled with my interruption. Their eyes followed me as they watched me from the thick webs they’d woven across the ceiling and in the corners of the doorways.
Without the lockers to
distract me, my mind wandered to what I’d seen by the closed gateway. The horsemen, all eleven of them.
I shuddered at the reminder of what was out there, seeking to destroy us all, just as we sought to destroy them. I recalled Lust’s power creeping over me, and icy fingers swept down my spine.
Brushing aside some cobwebs, I found myself inexplicably drawn toward another locker. Why are you torturing yourself?
I had no answer for that as I pulled up the handle and the door swung open. This locker was full of decorations and stickers so faded I could barely make out what they said. Beads, necklaces, and other things now dulled by age hung from the hook on the inside of the door.
I wiped away the dust coating one of the necklaces to reveal the shiny blue and green beads beneath. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, and I almost pulled the necklace free to slip it on. Instead, I let it go and turned my attention to the rest of the locker’s contents.
A small box sat within. When I flipped it open, I found more jewelry stashed inside. I didn’t know what compelled me, but I closed the lid and slipped the box into my pocket. Carrying around things I had zero use for was a fool’s game, yet I found I liked the weight of the box.
Only one book was in the locker, and when I wiped away the dust on it, I discovered it was a magazine instead of a book. Closing the door, I moved on to the next locker and then the next. I felt consumed by this compulsion to see into the lives of the teenagers who had once roamed these halls.
Their lives would have been so simple, so easy that I imagined they had laughed every day. The ghostly echoes of their laughter floated around me. However, the more I searched, the less I believed laughter had filled these halls.
Some of the lockers lacked anything personal within, and only books marked the person who once made this tiny space their own. Others had angry words scrawled inside like, I hate it here. I hate my life. Fuck this place. Fuck the world. Mrs. Dooble is a BITCH!!!!
Hell on Earth (Hell on Earth, Book 1) (Hell on Earth Series) Page 22