“How is it you are taking so well to being ordered about?” she countered.
“I suspect I would do anything should you command it so.”
She did not answer. Could not answer. A wealth of emotion simmered in the air between them, as if brought about by the thought of new life entering the world. Somehow it charged the connection between them, reminding them of what they could have.
What we could have? What once seemed an impossibility now seemed almost tangible. A marriage to James. Babes. She wanted it all. At a time like this, her past, his past, their differences were all so insignificant. Surely he would accept her for who she was?
With one last touch to his shoulder and a glance into his green eyes, she hurried off to the kitchen to fetch the tonics she’d prepared. What was it she saw in his gaze? Regret? Hope? Love…? Her heart constricted at the thought.
~***~
James glanced up from his book and shook his head as Dominic paced in front of the empty fireplace. “You’ll be no good to Lucy if you do not eat or at least rest for a bit.”
Dominic gave him a look of barely disguised irritation. “How can I eat when that—” he thrust a finger up to the wooden balcony that led to the solar, “—is happening?”
A cry rent the air and James winced. The night had been and gone and there was still no sign of the babes.
“No more babes,” Dominic declared. “Sons or not, I’ll not go through this again.” He swept a hand through his long hair.
“All will be well. She has Ellise. I’ve seen that lass’ knowledge of herbs. She’ll not let Lucy come to harm.” James hoped his voice reflected more calm than he felt. Aye, Ellise was indeed more knowledgeable than any woman he knew, but some things could not be cured by way of herbs.
His thoughts turned to Ellise. No doubt she worked tirelessly to aid Lucy through this trying time. Was she exhausted? He selfishly longed to snatch her away from it all and bid her to rest. To wipe away the fatigue and hold her in his arms.
To have her bear his sons…
Ack, where had that thought come from? But it had been creeping up on him since yesterday eve. The impending arrival of Dominic’s babes only served to remind him that he had yet to sire a son. And there was only one woman he wanted one with.
Dominic resumed his pacing and James laid down his book, unable to keep his mind on it. “Mayhap we should get some air.”
“Nay,” Dominic snapped. “What if the babes come? What if—” he trailed off, face looking suddenly pale.
Never had James ever seen the Lord so unsure of himself. But then he knew well what love did to you. Love? James almost laughed aloud. Aye, love. Love had stripped him of his certainty, his knowledge of the ways of the world. Where all had once been so clear, it was now muddled. And it was due to Ellise.
He shuddered as another cry drifted down from above. And then…
Both men stiffened and froze.
“Was that—?”
James nodded. “Aye, I think so.”
“Dear God.” Dominic made to run up the wooden steps but James leaped in front of him, blocking the way. “God’s blood, James, let me past! I must see my babe. I must see Lucy.”
“Ellise will send someone down when they are ready. Do not forget she is carrying two babes and that is certainly the cry of only one.”
Dominic backed away, body slowly relaxing as he huffed. “Ack, but this is torture. I should rather fight an army of border reivers than do this.”
“You did that once,” James reminded him, “and lost.”
“Aye,” Dominic offered him a wicked grin, “but we won the second time.”
“Thanks to Lucy.”
His face dropped. “Aye, thanks to Lucy.”
Footsteps made them pause and James watched as Winnie popped her head over the railing of the gallery.
“Well?” Dominic demanded. “God’s teeth, woman, don’t just stand there. ‘Tis bad news, is it not? Tell me, Winnie, or I swear I’ll have you locked in the donjon.”
Winnie shook her head and grinned. “Cease yer empty threats, my lord. All is well. Come see yer lady wife and yer sons.”
James noted the working of Dominic’s throat as he nodded and he swore a slight sheen of sweat graced the Lord’s forehead.
“Well, James, will you come and meet my sons?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Sons. Sweet Lord, I have sons.”
Slapping a hand to Dominic’s back, James grinned. “Aye, that you do. Come then, let us meet the next Lords of Thornewall.”
James hung back as they ascended the stairs to allow Dominic a moment with Lucy as Winnie waited outside with him.
“Is all well?” he whispered to her.
“Aye, milord. Very well. They could do with a little weight but they’ll be strong boys with a bit of time. Lady Ellise is indeed a blessing from God. I should not like to see her leave.”
“Leave?”
“Aye, when she marries Lord Wighthurst.”
“Ack, she’ll not marry him.”
“Why ever not, milord? He’s rich and handsome enough. He is not blessed with a cheerful temperament as she, but she’ll not see a better offer.”
“Why should you say that? Ellise is worthy of any man.”
Winnie smiled slowly. “Aye, worthy indeed. But ye menfolk are slow to see the true value of a woman. All ye want is a woman with riches and land.”
“That is not true.”
“Is it not?”
James bristled. Damn the maid for expressing everything he’d come to realise. And damn his own stupidity for not seeing what sat in front of him.
Dominic thrust his head out of the doorway. “Well? What is keeping you? Come see my sons!”
Unable to resist a grin at Dominic’s exuberant expression, James followed him in. His gaze was instantly drawn to Ellise and not the babes as it should have been. Sat to one side, her hair in disarray, she looked weary but ecstatic. Gaze locking onto his, they stared for too long, a thousand emotions burning through the air between them.
Finally he dragged his gaze away and settled it on the babes. Lucy sat in the canopied bed, propped up on several pillows. She too looked exhausted but content. Cradling one of the boys in her arm, she smiled up at Dominic, love shining through her face. James’ gut panged. Hellfire, what he would not give for what they had.
His gaze settled back on Ellise and he gulped. Could he have that? Would Ellise even have him? There he had been talking of nothing but finding a rich wife and doing his duty, with little care for her feelings. And now Wighthurst was interested in her. Mayhap he had already missed his chance.
Dominic gingerly picked up one of the boys as James approached Lucy’s bedside. James offered her a deep bow. “My congratulations, my lady.”
“My thanks, James,” she whispered, not even glancing away from the babes.
“Have you named them?”
Dominic grinned. “Aye, this handsome lad shall be Dominic and the other, William, for my father.”
“Noble names indeed.”
“Should you like to hold him, James?” Lucy asked.
James froze as he eyed the small child in Lucy’s arms. Ellise chuckled and he rolled his gaze over to her, narrowing his eyes. Some warrior he was, scared of a tiny babe. Lucy lifted the child and James carefully pushed his hand under his head and settled him in his hold.
The fair-haired babe lay happily in his arms, eyes scrunched shut. His face was still pink and wrinkled, and a tiny hand stretched and fisted at his shirt. He failed to resist yet another peek at Ellise and the emotion seemed amplified as a knot built in his throat. Her smile vanished, a haunted look stealing into her eyes.
It confirmed everything he had come to realise. He wanted this. But he only wanted it with Ellise. No other woman would do. Tears sat in her gaze as she stared at him and the child. Could he dare to hope that she would consider an offer from him?
~***~
“Why do you sit alone, Ellise?” James’ voic
e came from the door to the hall. All was quiet and the noise echoed through the room as he shut the door carefully.
She tried to force her head up but she could not. If she did, she was sure she would crumble. Staring at her hands, she tensed as he came up beside her. Warmth from the fire bathed her but she still trembled as she fought to hold back the tears. Seeing the babes, seeing James hold little William was too much. Her eyes itched with the need to dissolve into a weeping mess. For so long, she’d been strong, positive, so confident she was doing the right thing. Her determination to get her son back on her own terms had meant so many years apart. Should she have just given into Edmund and suffered whatever he would do to her for her son’s sake? Would it have been worth it? If she had gone crawling back on her hands and knees, would Edmund have taken her as his wife after all? If she’d offered herself up, body and soul, mayhap he would let her see her son. Clearly he still wanted her. All the wasted years…
And yet she still could not submit to him. She was so close to gaining their freedom. She almost has enough riches now. All she needed now was to get hold of her son. Somehow.
James’ hand came upon her shoulder, making her jolt. She turned her head slightly, so he would not notice her unshed tears. Fear and sorrow throbbed in her chest. It would be so very easy to tell him all, she realised. And dutiful man that he was, mayhap he would help her. But could she really draw him into this mess that she feared was all her doing? If she had just submitted to Edmund when she’d had the chance, none of the pain of the past years would have been necessary. And, of course, James knew nothing of her secret.
She saw him kneel beside her out of the corner of her eye and a hand reached over to take hers. “Ellise, should you not be happy? You have done a fine job this night.”
“Aye,” she replied huskily, “I am indeed happy.” Still she did not look at him. Not only would it reveal her sorrow but just looking at the angelic man seemed to crumple her defences.
“Will you not tell me what saddens you?”
Sucking in a breath, she pasted a smile on her face. Stealing a glance at him, she noted his furrowed brow but still he said nothing. A more patient, understanding man, she’d never met. Would he understand all her problems too? Would he accept them? Accept her son? She ached to believe that he would. That he might see her as more than just duty.
A hand crept up her cheek, slightly forceful, the roughness of it soothing, like a balm to the pain in her heart. James urged her around to face him where he crouched in front of her chair.
“Tell me what makes you sad, Ellise, and I shall do all I can to defeat it.”
His words forced several tears to escape and she closed her eyes. She half-expected him to leave her to her grief when she made no response but instead he swept them away with his thumb and moved closer. He pressed apart her thighs and settled on his knees between them. Both hands came around her hips and inched her nearer. Ellise remained stiff as the heat of his body engulfed her and warm lips swept across her damp cheeks.
Bristle tickled her skin and she released a sigh and sagged into him. Of their own accord, her hands wrapped around his neck and she took the comfort he offered. For so long, she’d depended on no one but herself. For so long, she had tried to bear the sorrow of losing her son alone. For one night, she wanted to share her pain, even if she never gave voice to it. She allowed herself a little sob and James pushed his cheek past hers and forced her head into the crook of his neck with his hand under her hair.
Unbidden tears seeped into his linen shirt and he probably felt them. One strong hand rubbed at her back as the other kept her pinned. How like James to be taking care of her. But how did he know just what she needed?
As the ache in her chest eased, the hand on her back slowed and she became aware of the heat of his palm, almost burning through her gown. His fingers on her neck seemed to leave a brand upon her skin. He kept it there, one thumb under her hair as he eased her away from his neck. A simmering awareness bolted through her, a prickling sensation like she’d been rubbed against silk.
Ellise tried to remember her sorrow, but James had somehow absorbed it. Could he truly take it all? Should she confess everything and let him bear the burden too? The temptation was tangible, but the words would not come to her lips. What if he did not feel as strongly as she did? What if her secret scared him and he thought her a witch as she knew others would?
James cupped her face with both hands and flattened his thumbs against her cheeks as he leaned toward her. She waited, fingers hooked around his shoulders, heart throbbing with anticipation. Warm breath breezed over her lips as his green gaze searched hers. For what, she did not know, but she was unable to look away. They shared several breaths, lips almost touching as he settled between her thighs. She dipped her head toward him, to close the gap, and jolted as their lips met.
They ended up separated again. Just for a moment. And then his tongue touched the corner of her mouth. And the line of her lips. And touched at her own tongue. Ellise sighed and allowed him full access. James pressed deeper. There was no hunger behind this kiss but it felt greedy, as if he needed to taste every part of her. She flexed her fingers around his shoulders, feeling the muscles roll as he held her face.
The lingering kiss sent spirals of heat through her body but it surprised her that she didn’t yearn to rub against him, to feel his skin. She could probably be content to kiss him for many more hours. His taste, so familiar, yet so intoxicating, drew her into him, until they were compressed together, chest to chest. His solid, warm torso offered so much comfort, she wished it would never end. If she could stay in James’ arms forever, she imagined being the happiest woman alive. For surely this knight—her chivalrous, caring knight—would do anything for the woman he loved, including getting her son back.
But did he love her? His kiss spoke of love, but mayhap that was her love turning it into something it was not. Mayhap only his attraction to her drove him. Could he look past her lack of riches and status to see the woman underneath, or would she only ever be a woman he desired but could never marry?
Love.
The word pounded through her mind. His tongue tangled with hers, his lips moved sensuously as if they had all the time in the world and there was no one but them. Small masculine sounds of appreciation came from his throat as she met him, stroke for stroke. When he finally pulled back, his eyes had darkened as his hands remained holding her face.
“What can I do to make you smile, lass?”
Ellise was unable to stop her lips from turning upwards. “Love me, James. Love me this night.”
He nodded slowly, as if absorbing her words and came quickly to his feet. Before she understood his intention, he’d scooped her into his hold and she had to loop her arms around his neck.
“James! What are you doing with me?”
“I’ll not love you here.”
“I did not intend for you to.” He carried her out the hall door and into the dark night. “But, mio Dios, you cannot carry me about so. Someone will see.”
He lifted his chin as he ducked into the stairwell of one of the towers and began to ascend the stairs. “I care not.”
Ellise shook her head and giggled, grateful they hadn’t yet met with anyone. Hopefully, they would not see anyone in the chamber hallway, either. He dipped briefly to unlatch the door and turned to open it with his back.
Darkness swallowed them as the door swung shut, the thick curtains having been closed by whoever had prepared her chamber. James released her to the floor gingerly as if she were made of glass. They stood in front of each other for a moment, not touching, just listening, inhaling. A thrum of anticipation threaded through her, making her blood simmer. Though a sliver of air separated them and her eyes hadn’t adjusted to the blackness, she sensed every part of him. She swore she heard him blink.
The curtains swished lightly as he drew one aside. It was not a bright night, but there was enough light to satisfy her, a cold wash of starlight seeping
through the murky glass. It brought out the lines of his face, his strong features. Highlighted the subtle look of passion in his gaze. She nearly forgot to breathe.
His hands came to the top of her arms, strong and sure, and he turned her away from him. When he brushed her hair aside, warm lips swept the back of her neck. Soft, soothing. She leaned into his kisses with a sigh as he worked to loosen the laces of her gown. This was no pleasure-seeking moment, no desire-driven madness. Aye, the unbridled craving for him still lingered, but it was overtaken by something deeper. A need for connection so intense it were as if the world had come to a standstill. Nothing existed apart from them and their shared moment.
James coaxed her gown from her shoulders and then her hips and it dropped to the floor in a rumple of silk. Her chemise hung from one shoulder and he took a moment to press his mouth to it, parting his lips so that she felt the heat of his tongue briefly. She inhaled.
Then his hands were upon her breasts, cupping and kneading and seeking out the small buttons at the front of her shift. Several came open, exposing her to the night light. He slipped a hand under the cotton to squeeze her breast and Ellise bit her lip to keep from moaning.
“Lord, Ellise, you feel so good, so perfect. I could spend an eternity touching you.”
“I hope not,” she let out an unsteady laugh, “for I would surely die of need.”
“Nay.” He kissed the crook of her neck. “Nay,” he repeated. “I would never allow that to happen.”
He undid the rest of the buttons and swept the chemise from her, leaving her bare to his fully-clothed state. Warm hands came upon her hips and encouraged her bottom flat against him. Hard flesh met her rear, full of heat and promise as he caressed her breasts, her stomach, her neck, her face.
Knowing fingers sought out her wet folds and stroked her until she trembled. The linen of his shirt rubbed against her back, a welcome distraction from the tormenting pleasure between her thighs. Each touch exposed her, not just in body but in soul. He bared her to him until she had nothing more to give and she looped a hand around and grasped the back of his neck for support as a swell of gratification blew through her. She gasped his name while he lured it from her with the lightest of touches.
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