Fear blocked her throat as the vision she’d had that night swamped her. Was this what it meant? She had seen James, impaled on a sword. It had been hazy but her visions often came true. She glanced into Edmund’s steely eyes. She did not doubt his threat. To keep James safe, she would have to stay away from him. It was doubtful he would ever want anything to do with her anyway, but she vowed to ensure his safety by never bowing to the weakness in her James created.
“Do you understand me, Ellise?” Edmund pressed.
She nodded vigorously. “I understand.” She sounded husky and weak but she felt it.
Powerless, hopeless. Her life stretched out in front of her, never-ending days of enduring whatever Edmund wanted of her. She’d fought so long against it and for what? For him to threaten the man she loved most in life. Still, at least he had made it easier to submit to him. With the thought of James coming to harm in the back of her mind, it was as if all the fire inside had been well and truly extinguished.
Ellise did not even fight as he brought his mouth to hers, a forceful kiss that probably drew blood when his teeth bit into her bottom lip. She closed her eyes and took what he gave her, even as tears stung her eyelids.
CHAPTER TEN
James yawned and tried to focus on what Dominic was saying but his mind kept drifting. He stole a look out of the solar window and scanned the courtyard for any sign of Ellise. He’d deliberately skipped the morning meal but Lucy said she had not seen her yet.
“My brother will be staying for several more days,” Dominic continued as James forced his attention back to the Lord. “And Isabel is on hand to help with the babes. Of course, Winnie is fussing over them too. These boys will be spoiled and pampered if I am not careful.”
Normally James would laugh at Dominic’s words but he couldn’t bring himself to. He felt empty, drained. Life had been sucked from him. It was all Ellise’s doing.
“I am sure you will teach them well,” he muttered half-heartedly to appease Dominic.
“Lucy wants to give Ellise a few day's holiday. The lass does work too hard. Reminds me of someone.”
James nodded vaguely.
“Mayhap you can find a way to keep her from working.” Dominic grinned.
“I have little idea what you mean.”
“Do you not? And here I thought we were to see a marriage before long. Lucy seemed sure of it and she is seldom wrong. Even when she is, she isn’t.” Dominic shook his head, grin still in place.
“Well, she is wrong this time.” Coldness drenched him. The thought of never touching her again or hearing her laughter near crippled him. Where he normally felt so strong and capable, he felt weak and confused. He’d have to ensure she went on her way shortly, and he was not sure he could face it.
“A shame. I will always be thankful to Ellise. Lucy said that without her herbs and aid…” The Lord’s expression grew grim. “We know well that twins are not born easily. We could have lost them both were it not for Ellise. I know not the details but Lucy is convinced we would not have been so blessed had she not come to us.”
James sucked in a slow breath and mulled over his words. The anger had left him, leaving him hollow, but he still did not know what to do. These visions of Ellise’s were not normal and he had little clue as to what else she might be capable of. He smirked to himself as he recalled his notion that mayhap she had cast some kind of love spell over him. If that had been the case, then why had she fought him when she had first come to Thornewall?
Because she was scared. Because she knew what he would think. Damn it all, she had finally admitted the truth to him and he had jumped to conclusions. Did he really believe Ellise was capable of evil?
What a coward he was. Scared by dreams. Ellise had done so much for everyone in Thornewall. No witch would be as kind as she.
“Well, I fear we shall lose her soon then if you hold no interest,” Dominic was saying. “Wighthurst will surely snap her up. ‘Tis the only reason he has stayed so long. Our negotiations came to an end long ago.”
James’ nostrils flared as the image of Wighthurst touching Ellise, loving Ellise seared his mind. “Like hell he will.”
Without even pausing to see Dominic’s reaction, he stormed out of the solar. He needed to find Ellise before she left and somehow make up for his idiocy. He only prayed he could persuade her to stay. Persuade her to love him once more.
~***~
Standing on top of the ramparts, Ellise forced herself to take slow breaths as James approached. Was he here to throw her out? To question why she had not left yet? She had not had the heart to search him out to tell him of her marriage plans yet, to assure him she would be leaving Thornewall and would never look back.
He gripped his hands behind his back and studied her. He did not look angry anymore. The need to jump into James’ arms, to seek his comfort and protection was unbearable. A crease formed on his brow as she refused to meet his gaze. Did he notice her puffy eyes? Ellise hoped not. If he spoke with sympathy, she may just crumble. Nay, he seemed… awkward. How unlike the coolly confident Captain.
James scraped a hand through his hair and turned away for a moment before facing her once more. She allowed a brow to rise as she eyed him, still trying her best not to meet his gaze. Lord, how beautiful the man was. Her heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again. The sun made his skin glow. The light breeze ruffled his hair and she longed to twine her fingers through it and feel its softness, to trace the line of his chin and finger the dip in it.
“What is it you want, Captain?” Aye, this was good. She sounded cool and in control.
He squeezed his fist at his side and she saw his knuckles whiten as he expelled a long breath. “You...” He paused and cursed under his breath. “Ellise, you must—that is...” He gulped audibly. “Ellise, you will marry me,” he spilled out, his tone harsh.
She blinked and frowned. “Pardon?”
“Marry me.”
“James, what is this?” She tugged her loose hair away as it blew across her mouth and stuck to her parted lips. Inside her stomach flipped, her mind screamed. Why now? Why did he have to do this now when all was settled?
He stared briefly at his feet and tucked his hands behind his back, drawing himself up to his full height. “I should think you would recognise a marriage proposal, Ellise. You are a clever lass.”
She shook her head at his abrupt manner. Now he was insulting her? “Well, you will forgive my surprise, but only yesterday you were ordering my expulsion from Thornewall and now you demand my hand?”
Jaw clenched, he sucked an audible breath through his teeth. “I may have been hasty in my assumptions yesterday.”
He inched closer, stealing her breath. He reached out to snatch her hand but she flinched away and faced the wall. Hands gripping the stone, she stared out at Thornewall beneath them. A tremor ran through her as she considered what she’d have to do. She couldn’t say aye, not when he risked death by being with her, but James was a determined man. She needed to be sure he would want nothing more to do with her. Needed to hurt him. Mio Dios, she did not want to.
“You must forgive me, Ellise.”
She didn’t face him, just continued to stare into the distance. “Must I?”
“Aye, you must. I...I proved myself but a fool, Ellise. I gave you no chance to explain. You were honest with me and I repaid that honesty with disdain.”
He took a step closer and reached for her hand, removing it from the stone. She didn't fight him when he coaxed his fingers through hers, joining their hands and forcing her to face him.
“I have been the worst kind of a man, losing my temper and refusing to listen to you. I know you are not what I said. But I am here now and I beg your forgiveness.” He laughed at himself. “Ellise, would you have me beg? For you know I would not do so lightly, but I would do it for you.”
“Cease, James.” His warm touch weakened her, made her voice husky and she wriggled her fingers but he kept his hold strong.
“Do I have your forgiveness?”
“James, you do not need it. My opinion is of little importance but aye, you have it. You are a man of a quick temper but you are honourable and I will always admire you for it.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Admiration?” he spluttered. “I do not want your admiration!”
She tried to tug her hands from his but he refused to let go. “Release me,” she whispered.
“Nay, I will not. Not until you answer me.”
“What answer do you seek?”
“Will you marry me or not?”
Moments passed and she hunted for the words to put an end to it all. The words that threatened to tear her heart from her chest. But she would not see James harmed. She would rather tear out her own heart than have that happen. He would forget her before long. Mayhap marry that southern lady.
“You do not want to marry me,” she declared quietly.
“I do. I will have you as mine, Ellise. You love me as I love you. If you are still angry with me, I will do all I can to make up—”
“Cease, James!” She finally found the strength to tear herself away and took several paces back.
Brow dipping into a scowl, his eyes widened briefly at her abrupt tone. “Ellise? If you are angry—”
“I am not angry. I know why you reacted as you did and I expected nothing less. Anything between us is impossible. You were right about me from the beginning. I am naught but a thief and a fallen woman. What we had was wonderful, but ‘twas just a few moments of pleasure, naught more. If you are a sensible man you will forget me and find a chaste woman to be your wife.”
“You deny your feelings for me?”
She forced herself to laugh. “I deny naught. You are a handsome man, James, and I am grateful to have shared your bed.”
His expression darkened. “I had thought we shared more than that, Ellise.”
“Captain, you know well enough that I am not one to take life seriously. What we had was a…” she waved her hand dismissively, “distraction.”
Ellise saw his jaw work, heard his teeth grind. His expression grew pained and she longed to run away or close her eyes to his pain as it echoed the agony inside her. But she had to be sure he wouldn’t do something foolish like challenge Edmund. If he had the vaguest idea that she’d been coerced, he’d surely challenge him.
“I know not what has brought this on, but I do not believe your words. If this is brought about by your anger, then I will accept it as my due, but you will not set aside what happened between us so easily. I will not allow it.”
Chin up, she drew in a breath and clutched her hands together to prevent them from shaking. “You cannot command everyone. And you cannot command my feelings, Captain. I am sorry you thought I could offer you anything more…but I cannot.” She watched his face and risked a glance in his green eyes. Curses, her words still had no effect. The stubborn resolve to make her his remained. She had no choice. “I cannot marry you for...” she squeezed her hands tighter, “I am to marry the Earl.”
“Wighthurst,” he seethed. “You would marry that man? You barely know him. What is it? Is it his riches that entice you? You would sacrifice your happiness for a few more trinkets and fine gowns. You must know that he will never love you as I do.” He took a swift step forward and clutched her upper arms. “Never.”
She allowed herself a moment to squeeze her eyes shut, tears burning. “I am sorry. You do not know what it is like to scrape for a living, to have your choices made for you. Edmund can provide me with much.” My son. Her voice trembled and she only hoped it didn’t give her away.
James kept his grip tight around her as he searched her face. She met his study boldly and prayed he did not notice the shimmering in her eyes or hear the sickening thud of her heart. How easy it would be just to fall into his arms. But she knew Edmund and he would make good on his threats if he even considered there was something still between them. She’d been on the receiving end of his anger once before and she dare not inflict it upon James. She could not allow her vision to come true.
Fingers pinched into her arms, making her own fingers grow tingly and she thought he might kiss her. And Lord help her, she would kiss him back, in spite of the fact they were out in the open for anyone—including Edmund—to see. He dipped his head slowly, gaze locked onto hers. She may have whimpered, she wasn’t sure, but whatever she did, it stopped him in his tracks and he jerked upright. Releasing her, he took a step back.
“So this is your decision?”
“Aye,” she said softly.
His mouth stretched into a thin line. Those lips that one moment ago had looked so tempting now looked bitter. “Very well then. I wish you only the very best, my lady.”
With that he turned on his heel and marched down the inner stairs to the bailey. The pain in her body became so acute, she was almost forced double as she clutched her arms about herself and watched him go. He did not look back, did not even pause. That was it. It was over.
~***~
It took James all his self-restraint not to pound his fist into Wighthurst’s smug face as he and Dominic discussed the arrangements for Ellise. As she had no father and Dominic was her current overlord, it was up to him to ensure all was settled.
His knuckles grew painful as he fisted his hand and the marriage document was signed.
“I shall be sorry to see her go,” Dominic said as he glanced over the parchment and dropped his quill into the pot on his desk. “She has become quite the companion to my wife.” Dominic’s blue gaze flicked up to James. “And we have enjoyed her company.”
Wighthurst’s lips twitched. “Indeed. She is a fine woman. I’ve no doubt she will do me well for a wife.”
Dominic nodded and stood. “I’ll admit I did not expect such an alliance though.”
“You mean ‘tis unusual for a man of my standing to marry such a woman?”
James ground his teeth at the dismissive tone he used to describe her. But hadn’t he been as judgemental once?
“Well…” Dominic rolled the contact up and handed it to the Earl, “you must surely have many fathers offering you their daughter’s hands.”
“I have had offers enough, but I have need of a mother for my son and none have offered enough to entice. Ellise is…a special woman. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us.”
Bile rose in James’ throat. He recognised the predatory look in Wighthurst’s eyes. The thought of another man’s hands—of Wighthurst’s hands—on her made him want to plough his fist through the wall beside him.
“Aye, well I wish you both well.” Dominic motioned to James for him to come to his side. “Do you intend to leave soon?” he asked the Earl.
“Aye. If you wouldn’t mind, Captain, I would like to send for my carriage. I am keen to return home. I will have a chaperone sent down with it for Lady Ellise. I aim to leave before the sennight is out.”
Three days. Three days and she’d be gone. His chest felt hollow. He took a missive from Edmund, which presumably had instructions for their marriage arrangements and handed it over to the messenger. He had to force his hand not to shake as he did so.
But this was her decision and he would respect it. No matter how much it would kill him to watch her leave.
~***~
James watched her. She kept her gaze firmly rooted on the carriage waiting at the bottom of the mound on which the keep sat but she knew he observed her from the castle ramparts. Should she look back? Her knees trembled as the throbbing in her chest amplified. A prickle dashed over her skin. A sensation that only James invoked. She just couldn’t acknowledge him as he stood on the walls, witnessing their departure.
If she looked at him, she would surely crumble. Ellise drew up her shoulders and disguised the shudder of revulsion Edmund’s hand tightening upon hers caused. Like a reminder of his ownership of her. But then he had always owned her. Even since Richard had died and he’d declared her dowry his as a fine for not marryin
g whoever her overlord chose.
Him.
She peered into the carriage window, breath held. An older woman in a tight wimple turned to observe their approach and Ellise allowed herself a small smile. Clarice had been kind to her upon her marriage to Richard at just five and ten and had promised to watch over Arias. Clarice spoke to someone inside the cart and she glanced at Edmund for confirmation.
He gave her the slightest nod. Arias was here. Her stomach flipped, the trembling in her knees grew. Would he know her? Would he look well? What would she do if he did not even want to acknowledge her as his mother? At only six years of age, she could hardly expect him to welcome her as his long lost mother.
Edmund released her to say farewell to Lord Dominic as Ellise put a hand to the carriage, having already bid Lucy farewell. Before she could step in, a child jumped out and she froze. Dark eyes, so like her own stared up at her. Though he had inherited his father’s pale complexion, his short brown hair was almost a match to hers. Tears welled in her eyes. So beautiful, so perfect. Crouching, she offered him her hands. Arias stepped forward cautiously.
“Mama?”
How did he know it was her? But she was beyond caring. Ellise pulled him into an embrace and inhaled his scent. Arias remained stiff in her arms but it was enough just to feel him, his little heart galloping against her chest. She drew back before she made him too uncomfortable.
“It is good to see you again, Arias.”
He darted a glance at Edmund. “Father does not call me that.”
Ellise managed to keep the anger from her face. “Of course. I forgot. How is it you remember me?”
“Clarice told me of you,” he whispered. “And Father keeps a likeness.”
She frowned as she came to her feet and ushered Arias in. Richard had commissioned a portrait of her but she never expected Edmund to keep it. She stole a look over her shoulder and saw Lucy’s the puzzled look she threw her way. Before anyone could question her behaviour, she helped Arias into the carriage and sat, refusing to glance back.
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