by Lynn Murphy
Tara looked over the notes she was preparing for her evening report and sat at the desk tucked neatly into an alcove and turned on her computer. She went to check her email and saw that she and Kel were the trending story on the search engine. She clicked on the link, and there was a report pondering whether or not they were back together and a photograph from the night before. She wondered if the paparazzi would start following her again. Sadly, she thought that she almost wouldn’t mind. At least when they had been hounding her she and Kel had been together. Together even when they weren’t in the same place. It could have been so wonderful. She got up and walked into the bedroom and gazed at the framed photograph. That moment, which Mary Katherine had captured with a click of her camera, was what she wanted forever. To be able to be held in his arms, to laugh with him, to be able to look into his sapphire blue eyes, that was what she wanted.
But in a quick, thoughtless second she had thrown it all away.
Would he have come back to George and Lily’s house and taken her in his arms and said he was sorry? Would they have gone for a walk in the moonlight and stolen a few kisses that no one would have photographed and made everything all right again? If she could do it all over again, if she could go back in time a few weeks, she would have waited to see what he did. But she hadn’t . And he still hadn’t said he wanted to pick up where they left off.
But then, she hadn’t either.
Kel rolled over and glanced at the clock. He couldn’t sleep. All he seemed to be able to do was think about Tara. They had been back in the newspapers and splashed over the internet and graced the tabloid covers again. He’d even had a nice elderly lady ask him when he and Tara were getting back together. He had told her he was working on it and gone on to speak to the next person waiting to shake his hand. But was he working on it? Or was he waiting for her to make the first move? He sighed. It had been a long time since he had romanced anyone. He was out of practice, hadn’t been planning on ever doing it again. he had told Evan he had no intention of falling for anyone and then just days after he had done just that. Fallen in love. Hook, line and sinker. And just when things were going well, he had a moment of temporary insanity and walked away. He thought about the day in New York, when they’d strolled through the museum and kissed each other in central park and then gone to Phantom. Of the picnic in the tree house and kissing her in the moonlight. Help me out here, God, he prayed. Give me patience and help me find a way to win her back. And he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Chapter Twenty One
The debate was a critical one. Major primaries would follow in the next two days, and Kel was close to getting enough delegates to get the nomination. John kept trying to get his approval for the events leading up to this last debate between the members of their party, but Kel seemed somewhere else.
“Kel, it would help if you participated in this discussion. Skip and I have already been over it, you’re the one who needs to be brought up to date, not us.”
“Sorry, John. What were you saying?”
Kimberly said, “What he was going to say is that you should just apologize to Tara, fix that relationship, and get back into the campaign.”
John said, “I wasn’t going to say that, but she’s right. You’re moping around like a love sick teenager and we have a lot of work to do.”
Skip leaned back in his chair. “You know what we need? To order dinner in, watch a movie and take the night off.”
John said, “Fine with me. I’m too tired to go out. I assume you’re taking care of all that?”
Skip rose and headed for the door. “Dinner and a movie in forty minutes, people.”
Kel got up and went into the bedroom to test his blood sugar. When he had the results, he went to the refrigerator and pulled out his insulin and measured the right dose, unbuttoned his shirt, grabbed a little skin just below his ribcage with his thumb and forefinger and gave himself the subcutaneous injection. Kimberly shivered, and he laughed at her as he re-buttoned his shirt.
“I’ll never know how you can do that so casually. Or stick your fingers so many times every day.”
“I don’t even notice it anymore,” Kel said. “And that’s the best injection site. Sorry if it still makes you a little squeamish.” He sat beside her on the sofa. “The first time I took insulin in front of Alise she nearly fainted.”
“What made you think of that?”
“I don’t know. I guess this whole thing with Tara has gotten me thinking about what it was like with Alise. I can’t help but think that it might be a lot to ask anyone to accept. I know that I’m at risk for major complications, you know the list of things that could happen as well as I do. That was a real problem for her. She didn’t want to have to take care of me.”
John sat down in the chair across from them. “But she didn’t love you Kel. If she had, it wouldn’t have made a difference. She wasn’t going to leave you because you were diabetic. She was leaving because she loved someone else.”
“I never really knew why she was leaving, John. She died before we got a chance to talk about it. I seem to be good at falling in love with women who leave me without an explanation.”
“So you are in love with Tara?”
“I thought we’d already been over that.”
John said, “Just clarifying. I’m not sure she’s left you, exactly. I think it’s more that she panicked and now she doesn’t know how to resolve it.”
Before Kel could respond Skip arrived with several cartons of Chinese food, drinks and the promised DVD-The American President.
Kimberly laughed at that as she opened containers and passed everyone chopsticks. Skip knew what everyone liked; Kimberly had tangerine chicken, John mu shu pork, Kel, Mongolian beef, and Skip had Singapore rice noodles.
“And now everyone, “ Skip said as they settled in front of the television, “a movie we can relate to.”
“Isn’t this a little like rubbing salt in an open wound?’ Kel asked to a round of laughter. It was enjoyable, because there were so many similarities in the plot to their own lives right now. Kimberly said that Michael J. Fox’s character was Skip and that got everyone laughing again. When the movie was over, Skip handed the DVD to Kel and said, “You might get some ideas from this. Or, you might want to share it with a friend.”
The next morning Kel ordered some more flowers and put the video in the mail.
Tara’s boss had called her in to discuss the next step in her coverage of the campaign. Hart Moore had a reputation for getting what he wanted on his news programs. And what he wanted, he told Tara, was an exclusive interview with Kelly O’Brien.
“You have access. Ask him personal questions. We’ll air it right before the debate. And play up the whole chemistry thing between you. You’re good for ratings.”
“Did you hire me for ratings?” She was slightly insulted.
“Of course. I hire anyone who makes my ratings go up. We get emails every day that people like you and are rooting for things to work out between you and Senator O’Brien. Go make it happen.”
Once again she was being forced to do a story someone else wanted. She hadn’t done Bobby’s slant on Alise, but she couldn’t very well not do an interview with Kel this time. He wanted personal questions. She wanted answers to some of those questions but she didn’t want to have the conversation on national television.
She drove home and went to change out of her work clothes. As she came out of the walk in closet, she looked at the portrait of them hanging on the wall. Hart was right about one thing. There was a certain amount of chemistry between them that was obvious to anyone who bothered to look. If it were anyone else’s life being covered, she would have had an interest in it too. She understood what the network needed and why. But the honest truth was that she was far too involved to really handle this assignment in a professional, unbiased way. Her father was right on that account. She wandered into the kitchen, poured herself a Coke over ice and settled at her desk. After a brief he
sitation she picked up her cell and called Skip.
After exchanging pleasantries, she told him what she needed. “I have to give them an exclusive with Kel.”
“Lucky for you the debate’s in Arlington. We’re staying in Georgetown. You can have the interview at Kel’s house. That should be exclusive enough for them.”
“You schedule interviews, just like that?”
Skip laughed. “Well, no, not for just anybody.”
“I think you have been spending too much time with Lily.”
“Anything to try and help the situation.”
She sighed. “Don’t hope too hard Skip. It may never happen.”
“Yes, but you can’t stop me, or Lily, from wishing it would.”
Kel paced the living room at his Georgetown brownstone and checked his watch again. She wasn’t late, but he was just a bit apprehensive. It was one thing to have a conversation with her when they were alone. He wasn’t at all sure that he wanted the first real conversation between them since she had left to be in front of a television camera crew.
The doorbell rang and he answered it. She stood on the doorstep, looking both beautiful and professional, with her hair done up like she had worn it to Phantom. He kissed her cheek and invited her and the camera team into the house. They decided to set up in his oak paneled study, which looked like something out of an English country manor house. A large oil portrait of Kel and Jim and Janet hung over the leather sofa.
“Mary Katherine?” she asked, indicating the painting while the crew set up.
“Christmas two years ago,” he said. “She did one of John and Kim and their kids too.”
They put on wireless mikes and he sat on the sofa and she took one of the wing chairs and the interview began. She asked him which issues her felt the strongest about and he elaborated on those, grateful for a chance to actually speak about them without being interrupted. Her next question was why he decided to run for president. He talked about the flaws he saw in government and leadership, but he also said that it was an opportunity that had intrigued him since middle school when he had loved reading biographies of presidents. She asked him which president he admired most and he told her Thomas Jefferson. She laughed and asked if that was because Jefferson was an architect and he replied that was part of his admiration, but not all and gave a list of reasons why he felt that Jefferson was worthy of note. The camera crew had noticed the easy way they talked to each other and the way they looked square into the other’s eye and leaned toward each other as they spoke and angled the cameras to make the most of it. She asked him, while they were on the subject, to defend his degree as background for running for office. Kel’s counter questioned with wondering why people always thought a lawyer was more qualified than anyone else to run for public office. Her next question dealt with bringing Jim and Janet on the campaign trail.
“You never had taken them before, why now?”
He smiled at her and said, “As you well know I’ve gotten a lot of criticism for not being married. I don’t have a wife, but I do have children that can speak to where I stand on the issues and my values in the same way that other candidates’ spouses can. Any they have done a brilliant job of it.”
“And the question everyone wants answered. Why haven’t you ever remarried?
That caught him off guard, it did her too, but he only hesitated for a second. “I haven’t spent the last fifteen years grieving. I think that’s a misconception people have of me. I hope I don’t hurt my children by saying this, but the truth is that when my wife died, the marriage was in real trouble. I’m not proud of that, but that’s the way it was. After she died, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to put myself in a position to be hurt that way again. A few years passed and I still wasn’t ready to try a permanent relationship, so it just never happened.”
“And now?”
“I can’t predict the future.”
“Do you think you’ll win the nomination and the election?”
He relaxed again. “If I didn’t think I had at least a shot at it, I never would have run.”
“So to summarize, you’re just a fellow who’s following a dream?”
He gave her a wink and a charming smile. “Something like that.” It was a light hearted way to close things. Only she and Kel knew there was an inside joke.
And that was the end of the interview. The camera crew packed up and Tara stood to leave. She didn’t want to, but she was suddenly feeling very emotional. She wasn’t sure where the conversation had left them.
“I’ll see you at the debate,” she said.
“You’re leaving, then?” Disappointment was written all over his face.
“I think we still need some time. At least I do.”
He reached out and pulled her close and bent to kiss her. Her arms went around his neck and she returned his kiss, wanting desperately to stay and knowing at the same time she needed to go. She broke away and said good night and quickly went to her car. Thankful she lived only a couple of blocks away she managed to hold off bursting into tears until she was safely inside her own apartment.
What’s the matter with me, she thought as she cried. If I love him why do I keep running away? It hadn’t even felt like an interview. After only a few minutes she had forgotten the camera crew was there. She’d had the same feeling she always got when she talked to him. Comfortable, cozy, appreciated. He had clearly wanted her to stay. She had even gotten the answers to some of the things she had been wanting to know. The one question that hadn’t been answered was whether or not he was in love with her. She knew he was attracted to her, but it wasn’t the same thing. It wasn’t enough, not when she was so very much in love with him. But, she berated herself, if you keep running away, you’ll never know.
And that made her cry all over again.
Kel sat back down on the sofa where she had interviewed him and wished that he could figure out exactly what was going on between the two of them. Everything had been going so well, the interview hadn’t been at all awkward, and it so very easily could have been. He’d even told her a little about his marriage and he knew she had had questions about that. She’d obviously wanted to kiss him, but then she’d left before they could talk without the cameras rolling. He’d had every intention of asking her to dinner. He was starting to wonder if maybe he was the only one who had fallen in love.
Kimberly and John sat in front of the fireplace of their own Georgetown house. Casey had joined them for dinner but had gone home and Seamus had elected to stay there rather than his dorm room at Gallaudet, but had gone upstairs to study for an exam.
“Do you think Kel is in love with Tara?” Kimberly asked John.
“I know he is. What I don’t know is if she’s in love with him.”
“I get the feeling she is.” Kimberly said.
“Then one of them is going to have to ask the other what happened. I don’t want to see Kel hurt again, and I really like Tara too. But I’m not Lily, nor terribly romantic, so I don’t know what to do to get them back together.”
“Skip was certainly trying by setting up tonight’s interview. I’m hoping his little scheme was successful.”
“And I’m guessing it still isn’t sorted out,” John said.
“Maybe things will look better after the election,” Kim suggested.
“Maybe. I would like to see him happy with someone again.”
Tara did the one thing she had told herself she wouldn’t. She called Julia and ended up crying on the phone. Her mother did her best to console her and make her feel better. They tried talking about other subjects, but kept coming back to it. Finally, Tara dried her tears and thanked her mother for letting her cry on her shoulder, sort of. Julia laughed with her and told her it would all work out if it was meant to.
“And by the way,” she told Tara. “Daddy is flying in to cover the debate. So he’ll see you there.”
Tara loved her father dearly, but the last thing she needed right now was to have Kel and Michae
l in the same room together.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kel looked across the table at Jim and Janet and decided to just go ahead and say what he felt he needed to. They were all planning to watch the interview, then go to the debate. At least he had support from people who could help him out if he needed it. John, Kimberly, Mary Katherine and even Alan could verify what his marriage had been like. He didn’t know how his children would react and he was fairly certain Casey and Seamus would be surprised as well. Not Skip, since he had been privy to a lot of conversations about it lately.
“So, there are a few things that I said in the interview that might come as a shock to some of you, especially Jim and Janet.”
Janet laughed. “Really Daddy? Do you have a secret past?”
Kel said, “Sort of.”
“What do you mean, Dad?” Jim asked.
“One of the questions Tara asked me was why I never remarried.”
“But we already know why,” Janet said. “Because you were so in love with our mother.”
Kel looked at John. How was he going to tell his children the truth about their mother? The situation was still as touchy as it had been when they were seven and four.
John, thankfully, jumped in. “That’s not exactly true Janet.”
“But of course it is John.”
“Because Debby and your grandmother said so? Did your father ever tell you that? Or anyone on our side of your family?”
“John,” Kel said. “I’ll take it from here. I don’t want to hurt either one of you, but you’re both adults, so its time you knew. Your mother and I didn’t have the perfect marriage, in fact, she had been having an affair with someone for a very long time when she died. She was going to spend New Year’s Day with him when her plane crashed. Before she left she asked me for a divorce.”
Janet looked stricken, but Jim said, “That makes a lot of things more clear Dad. I don’t remember much about her at all, but I do remember that she never seemed to be around. It was always just you, and John and Kim.”