The Complex

by Courtney McPhail

  There was a voice in the back of his mind that told him that ranking people by importance wasn’t a good look but he pushed it away. He’d been doing that since the beginning. His sisters, then the others in this group. He was still a human and he wanted to protect those he loved. If it meant that he couldn’t protect others, so be it.

  “Alright, well, best get going then,” Malcolm said and they grabbed the bags and left the clinic.

  “I noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time down in the lab with Harold,” Malcolm said as they struck out for the dock. “How’s that going?”

  “It’s not really going at all,” Quinton sighed. “Harold’s hit a bit of a roadblock when it comes to a vaccine. There’s little left of Glen’s last blood sample so he’s waiting until he has a better idea of how to kill the virus. We’ve been trying to understand how the virus works to see if that clicks on a lightbulb in how to deal with it. We’ve got plenty of theories but nothing concrete.”

  “Is there anything you need to help?” Malcolm asked.

  “Time, a couple people with PhDs, the CDC lab and a hundred infected to run tests on,” Quinton replied. He might as well wish for the moon.

  “Well, I’m not sure I can get all of that,” Malcolm said with a chuckle, “But would another freak to work on help?”

  “You mean bringing one over here?” Quinton asked and Malcolm nodded. “After what happened with the last one, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “If we’re honest with everybody it is. The problems caused by Glenn were due to the secrecy. If we tell the others first, it could be different.”

  Janet’s angry dark eyes flashed in Quinton's mind, the way she had looked at him with contempt and disappointment. He had lied to her when he had sworn he never would. She had never been angry about the freak, it had been because of the lies. Maybe it could be different this time.

  “You can’t tell them though. You have to ask them,” Quinton said. “Put it to a vote. We’ve always all weighed in when it came to the big decisions. We have to do that with this.”

  “And what if they don’t agree?”

  “Then we just get blood samples from any freaks we come across. We can look for smaller animals that are infected. The mice Harold has been experimenting on have been useful, though they don’t live past a week after infection so they aren’t good for long term testing. An infected rabbit might be better."

  “Alright then, we’ll put it to a vote,” Malcolm said. “You should talk to people about it though. Give your side, present your arguments, convince them the risk is worth the reward.”

  “I’m not so sure you want me doing the talking on that one.”

  “Better than Harold,” Malcolm said with a grin. “He’s a nice guy but he’s not great with the social interaction.”

  Quinton had to agree with that. Even with all the time Quinton had spent with Harold, the man could still be awkward around him. Quinton was used to it by now but he knew it could work against Harold with the others.

  “I just meant that there are certain people here who aren’t going to be receptive to me advocating for this,” Quinton said, careful with his words as he was very aware that he was talking to that certain person’s brother. “It would probably be best for you to talk to them.”

  Malcolm’s lips thinned and he nodded. “She’s still not talking to you at all?”

  “She won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me,” Quinton admitted.

  “Yeah, that sounds like her,” Malcolm said, running a hand over his chin. “I want to tell you it will get better but Janet has been known to hold a grudge for a long time.”

  Quinton sighed, disappointed to have what he had speculated this last month confirmed. Still, he had no one to blame but himself.

  “It’s fine. I deserve it. Actions have consequences and I can’t say that she didn’t tell me what the consequences were for lying.”

  “You aren’t a bad guy, Quinton,” Malcolm said. “You made a choice and risked your own happiness for the bigger picture. That’s not a bad thing. It took a lot of courage to do that.”

  Quinton was surprised to find his cheeks warming under that praise. It was the first time that he actually felt better about his decision. It might have cost him a hefty price but it had been the right call. The infection was the greatest threat to humanity and they had to do whatever they could to try and fight it.

  “Thanks,” Quinton said, clearing his throat roughly when his voice caught. “I really needed to hear that.”

  Malcolm clapped him on the shoulder. “We all need a bit of a pep talk from time to time and I need you on your best game today. We’ve got to earn those chickens. Everybody is excited for eggs.”

  Quinton laughed at that. “So am I. The pancakes were good those first few weeks here but they are getting a bit boring.”

  “Trey said the same thing. At least they’re better than the warm beans we had out on the road.”

  Quinton remembered them vividly. The canned beans and deer jerky hadn’t seemed so bad. Their ever present hunger had made anything edible but they had usually bolted the food down quickly in the morning as they broke camp. Now that they had consistent food in their bellies and the time to enjoy it, tastes were becoming a bit more refined.

  “I do kinda miss the deer jerky though,” Quinton admitted and Malcolm nodded in agreement.

  “We should look into going out on a hunting trip next week. Make some jerky and stock up that freezer with venison for the winter.”

  “Sounds good, though you’ll probably want to talk to Claudia or Veronica about that,” Quinton said as the dock came into view and he spotted his sisters with the others. “They were always better hunters than me.”

  They were the last to join the group at the dock and the goodbyes had already begun. Raquel and the boys were hugging Javier while Mendez and Angela whispered to each other between kisses. When Claudia spotted Quinton, she made a beeline for him and threw her arms around him.

  “Be careful, okay?” she said as she squeezed him tightly.

  He hugged her back, patting her gently on the back. “Of course I will. Don’t treat it like you’re sending me off to war. I’ve been out there a bunch of times.”

  “Exploring the islands from the safety of a boat,” Claudia said. “You’re going to the mainland. It’s different.”

  “It’s no different than the last time I went there and look how well that turned out.”

  “You’re too cocky for your own good,” Claudia scolded.

  “That cockiness keeps me alive,” he said, giving her one final hug. “You be careful out there too.”

  “I will,” Claudia promised, “And I’ll look after Veronica too.”

  She left him to board her own boat and Quinton took the packs over to the cruiser to hand to Craig and Banks.

  “You ready to get out on the water, Doc?” Banks asked with a smile and Quinton glared at him.

  “Dick.”

  He had already taken a double dose of Gravol but the reminder of the previous times he’d puked over the side of that cruiser had his stomach curling up. He took a deep breath to fight the nausea back, determined to keep his breakfast in his stomach.

  He looked away from the boat that was bobbing in the water and caught Veronica’s gaze from across the dock. She nodded at him and he nodded back.

  That was the only goodbye the two of them needed because it really wasn’t goodbye. They would both come back so there wasn't a need for more than a nod.

  And that was it for him, wasn’t it? The last time he had left for Port Meyer, Janet had been down here wishing him good luck with tears in her eyes. He hadn’t liked the idea of her worrying about him then but now he wished for it. Worry was better than apathy.

  God, he really needed to stop torturing himself like this. Moaning about what he’d had with Janet wasn’t going to get her back. There was no point in any of it. He needed to move on and today was as good of a day as any to start.<
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  “Alright, let’s go,” Malcolm called out and waved for the others to get into the boats.

  Quinton moved to the bow of the cruiser, Travis and Javier joining him. Malcolm took the helm with Trey beside him and Lorraine and Kim at the stern.

  Malcolm steered the boat out into the open water, the other boat following, but soon they turned north. Malcolm kept them heading west towards the mainland.

  Quinton settled into the seat, his eyes trained on the horizon and not back at the island. He needed to look forward, not back if he was going to move on.

  Subject File #743

  Subject: Things have changed.

  Administrator: How so?

  Subject: For the first time, I feel like I can be happy here.

  As Jenny watched the children frolic in the water, their laughter was contagious and she found herself giggling along with them. The twins, Hannah, and Alejandro were playing tag and though they’d included Ruthie in the game, the little girl was having a hard time keeping up with her short legs. Not that she seemed to mind, she was squealing with glee as she chased after them.

  Jenny was glad she had agreed to join Janet and Raquel for a beach day. They had brought down chairs and an old patio umbrella they had found and set themselves beneath it on the sand to watch the children play and laugh.

  The only problem with laughing was the fact that it got the baby kicking up a storm. She groaned and shifted in her chair as a little foot jabbed her side.

  “She moving around?” Janet asked.

  “She’s going to be a gymnast with all the flips she’s been doing.” She rubbed her belly, feeling the soft thumps through her skin. “I shouldn’t complain. She spent most of last night jammed up in my ribs so I should be happy she’s moved.”

  “Until she decides to use your bladder as a trampoline,” Janet joked.

  “Don’t even say it,” Jenny laughed. “I won’t make it to the closest bathroom in time.”

  “I don’t know what I hated worse when I was pregnant,” Janet said. “The constant peeing or the morning sickness.”

  “Definitely the morning sickness,” Jenny said. “I’m glad that disappeared a few months back.”

  “Lucky you,” Janet said, “I was throwing up every time I got out of bed up until the day Ruthie was born.”

  Jenny grimaced at the thought. The first few months for her had been hard. Waves of nausea would hit her out of nowhere but now they only seemed to spark if she caught a specific scent. She couldn’t imagine suffering through that until the end.

  “What about you, Raquel?” she asked, turning to the woman on her other side but she was staring out at the water, worry creasing her brow. She hadn’t been listening to a word they had said.

  “Honey, are you okay?” Jenny asked, reaching out to touch her arm. Raquel started and then looked over at her with a frown.

  “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.” It still answered her question. She definitely wasn’t okay.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  Raquel looked back at the water, chewing her bottom lip. “I’m worried about Javier.”

  She should have known. Of course she would be worried about her husband out there.

  “It will be okay,” Jenny told her. “The others have gone over there before. They know what they’re doing.”

  “I just don’t understand why he insisted on going with them,” Raquel said, her tone sharp with frustration. “We fought so hard to get here and now he’s going back out there again.”

  “Did you tell him you felt that way?” Jenny asked.

  Raquel let out a sardonic laugh. “Oh, I told him alright. I’m surprised the rest of you didn’t hear us arguing last night. We took it down to the pumphouse to spare the boys having to listen to it.”

  “What did he say when you told him?” Janet asked.

  Raquel let out a snort and crossed her arms over her chest. “That man is as stubborn as a jackass. When he wants something, or doesn’t want something, he just digs in. He said he had to make sure he pulled his weight. I told him he could stay here, help with firewood or fishing but he wouldn’t listen. Now he’s gone and put himself in danger only because he wants to.”

  Jenny could understand her frustration. When she’d been told that Travis would be joining them, she had wanted to tell him to stay. He had only just come back into her life.

  Except she had no right to demand anything from him. He wasn’t her husband or her son. He was his own man and while he might be the last connection she had to her family, she wasn’t about to put demands on Travis. She was afraid if she did, she’d be crossing the invisible line that had always existed between them.

  So she had kept quiet and waved him off along with the others, keeping her fingers crossed that he would be back soon.

  “That’s the problem with men,” Janet said, pulling Jenny from her thoughts. “They do whatever they want with no thought for anyone else.”

  Jenny exchanged a look with Raquel, who raised a single eyebrow.

  “Are you okay?” Jenny asked.

  Janet let out a sigh and waved her hand to brush off the concern. “I’m fine. Just not in the mood to tolerate men and their own stupid selfishness.”

  “I take it that means you still haven’t forgiven Quinton,” Jenny said.

  “I can’t forgive lying,” Janet said.

  “But you’ve forgiven the others who knew,” Jenny pointed out. “You still meet for sessions with Angela and spend time with Elaine and Nas.”

  “That’s different,” Janet told her. “None of them promised me that they would never lie to me.”

  Jenny could see the anger in her eyes, but there was also sadness there. As much as Janet wanted to pretend she hated Quinton, she couldn’t hide the fact that she still had feelings for him.

  But Jenny wasn’t about to be the one who pointed that out to her. Not when the anger was still there.

  “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. We can’t change what happened,” Janet said before she turned to Raquel and changed topics. “I know you’re still going to worry about Javier but my brother will make sure he gets back here. Then you don’t have to worry about any of this going-to-the-mainland nonsense for at least another month.”

  “Oh, he won’t be going next month,” Raquel said. “He’s had his fun. He can work on the solar panels for fun now.”

  “Good news is that come winter, we’ll all be stuck here,” Jenny said. “Elaine was telling me that the snow and ice makes it too dangerous to take the boats out.”

  “I don’t know if I should be grateful or worried,” Raquel replied. “We’d get snow back home but I have the feeling it’s going to be harsher this far north.”

  “I’m a little excited,” Jenny admitted. “We never got much snow back home. A white Christmas might be fun.”

  “Christmas?” Janet let out a laugh. “I hadn’t even thought about holidays in forever. It seems a little trite after everything.”

  Jenny didn’t take any offence. It did seem trite to think about Christmas when the world had ended but that didn’t stop her.

  “Maybe if we were still out on the road but we’re here. We’re as safe as we can be and we’re making a home here. Part of a home is celebrating holidays.”

  “She has a point,” Raquel said to Janet.

  “Of course I have a point,” Jenny lectured them. “I don’t want to bring my child into a world where there isn’t any happiness. I want to watch her wake up on Christmas morning and run out to open her presents. Even if those presents are purifying tablets and canned goods.”

  She placed both her hands on her belly, the closest she could get to cradling her child for now.

  “There is no point in surviving if we aren’t actually living. Part of living is taking moments to have fun, to laugh and be happy. Look at those kids out there.”

  She pointed out to the water’s edge where the kids had started building a massive sand castle out of the wet sand.

/>   “As far as they’re concerned, this is just a fun day at the beach. They’re going to laugh and play and, at the end of the day, they are going to be happy. That’s the whole point of this place. We all came here for a safe place to live, not just survive. We are supposed to rebuild here and that includes the happy moments. Celebrating the holidays is a big part of that and we need to do it. Not just for the children’s sake but ours too.”

  The corner of Janet’s mouth curled up in a half smile. “Now that was a pretty inspiring speech you just gave. Have you been taking notes from Malcolm?”

  Jenny laughed and rolled her eyes. “I’m serious.”

  “I know you are,” Janet assured her, “And you’re right. It’s not trite. It’s a good thing. We should celebrate holidays.”

  “We’ve got a while to go before we hit the next holiday,” Raquel said. “Thanksgiving is still two months off, Christmas even longer.”

  “What about birthdays?” Jenny suggested. “We should celebrate our birthdays. After all, making it another year is definitely a huge achievement now.”

  “I like that idea,” Janet said. “We’ve got plenty of cake mix in the pantry. When we get those chickens, we can make them properly, with eggs instead of applesauce.”

  “So do we know whose birthday is coming up?” Raquel asked. “The boys were born in March and May, Javier and I both in December.”

  “The twins are November, Ruthie in January,” Janet ticked off on her fingers. “I’m April. Malcolm’s was in July, we missed it.”

  “Travis’ too,” Jenny said and then a thought came to her. “You know what, why don't we start with everyone who missed their birthdays since this all started?”

  “I like that idea,” Raquel said. “Let's do it. We’ve got time to bake a cake and we can even decorate the lodge, cheer it up a bit with some flower centrepieces for the tables. There are plenty of wildflowers growing on the east side by the reeds.”

  “Well, look at you, little Suzy Homemaker,” Janet teased. “It does sound like fun though.”