by Bryn Donovan
What if they never found one? Would they even really try, once she posed no threat to anyone? A permanent coma would be worse than being dead.
“Maybe I have more power than you know.” It was a stupid bluff, but she didn’t know what else to do. “If you hurt me, I might curse you in ways you never imagined.”
“The funny thing is, you think you’re making idle threats. They might not be idle.” He looked her up and down. “You say you’re very dangerous? I believe you. You’re alive because of my good graces. Fucking one of my Knights doesn’t make it any safer for you.”
Righteous anger crashed through her. She tasted the metallic tang of blood, felt that settled feeling, as though she had roots that had plunged right down into the earth so that she could not be moved.
She had to push it back. She closed her eyes and filled her brain with deep indigo silence, as Val had taught her in one of the visualization exercises. It expanded, blotting out and quieting the rage.
“I see you pulling back. Not bad,” he said. She opened her eyes again.
Of course. He’d made her angry on purpose.
He stepped on the cushion of Val’s couch and perched on the back of it. “Vega, coach Ms. Rios about focusing that anger. I’ll observe.”
Val took a deep breath and let it out. “Obedezco.” She went over and sat down in the furry chair and gestured for Cassie to sit on the couch. Cassie hesitated and then settled herself on the very edge of it, with Capitán Renaud hovering right over her like a presidential vulture. Val began talking to her about another visualization, and she tried to pay attention.
Then Val shrieked.
Dozens of black spiders, each about an inch long, marched across the floor in front of them. Val jumped up and stood behind her chair as Cassie got to her feet and took a few steps back. They climbed up the couch, so close together they were like a moving, squirming dark blanket.
Black widows. Cassie recognized them because her family had found a few in one of the stables once. They’d scared the hell out of her dad, because horses were very susceptible to their bites…but so were humans. And humans never faced many at once.
Capitán didn’t move. He looked at her. She had to make them stop. God only knew what would happen if she hurt him.
Without knowing what she was doing, she raised her hand toward the spiders. With all her might, she imagined a deep indigo color falling on them, covering and drowning them. Something vital burst out of her, and she recalled the stabbing victim Jonathan had described, with his innards coming out of his skin. The strange force threw her off balance, and she collapsed in the chair Val had just vacated.
The spiders froze. Half of them still waited on the floor, and half occupied the couch, a few a mere inch or two from Capitán’s leg. They stood there, like they were in a movie and someone had hit the pause button.
A few turned around and scurried away. Then more. All of them dispersed in every direction, and Val yelped as two of them came toward her, but they passed her by and disappeared into a corner. One spider remained near Capitán’s foot. Ridiculously, on sheer instinct, Cassie leaned toward it and yelled at the top of her lungs, “Go!” It ran away, too.
Gulping for air, her brain lit up with panic, she stared at Capitán.
“That was disgusting,” Val wailed.
He strode over to the door and opened it. Three people stood there, one carrying a gun, one, a knife, and one, a metal briefcase. They all saluted him, though the armed men both had to put their weapons in their other hands to do so. “You’re dismissed,” he told them.
The Knights dispersed, but the woman holding the briefcase lingered, asking, “What was it, sir?”
“Black widow spiders. More than we expected. Don’t think your antivenin would have helped.”
She shook her head. “You take too many chances.”
“Dismissed, Navarro.” He closed the door and walked back to them.
Val stood on her tiptoes, her eyes scanning the floor. “They’re not coming back, are they?”
“I don’t think so,” Cassie said.
She didn’t look reassured. “Where did they come from?”
“Spiders, scorpions, snakes, they stay out of the way of humans,” he said. “You would have never known they were around. Had it not been for our bruja here.”
Fear trickled through Cassie. “Please don’t put me in a coma.”
“You’ve got interesting magic. Maybe more than we know yet. And you take action in a crisis. Giving Jonathan the injection. Firing at the Shifter’s Jeep. It’s rarer than you might think. That bias for action.”
He’s not going to hurt me. The compliment, from a man who didn’t hand them out lightly, made her sound less like an impulsive idiot and more like hero material. He’d only goaded her in order to test her control, and she’d passed.
“Are you getting restless here?” he asked her.
Restless was an understatement. The night before, she’d imagined clawing at the steel walls of her quarters, like a sardine that had somehow gotten canned alive. “Yes.”
“Tell West that you and he can go horseback riding tomorrow. There’s an excellent stable not far from here. A Steward will give him the details.”
Cassie’s jaw went slack. She could hardly think of anything she’d rather do, except go riding with her own horse Layla. “I… That would be great. Except he doesn’t know how to ride.”
Capitán Renaud gave the slightest of shrugs. “You’ve taught people before.”
Her fears about her fate burned away. This guy could be harsh, but he liked her. No, even better, he knew her. And he trusted her now, even among a whole stable full of horses—big beasts that could absolutely be deadly, if her magic commanded it.
“Thank you.” On impulse, she made the salute that others made to him, the heel of her closed fist touching above the heart. Val’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but Capitán Renaud only gave a nod, as though this action were entirely appropriate and expected.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
When Jonathan and Cassie left El Dédalo in the morning in one of their black SUVs, she was practically bouncing in her seat. “Your boss isn’t so bad.”
Jonathan cast a wary glance in her direction as they drove out of the gates with the barbed wire coils on top. “I didn’t say he was bad.”
“You know what I mean. He trusts me. Even around a bunch of horses! I mean, horses are big animals, and they can be dangerous. If a whole stable of them turned on someone…” She stopped herself.
His mouth thinned. “Yeah. It’s occurred to me.”
“But it’ll be fine,” she said quickly.
“I trust you. Pretty much.” As they drove down the dirt road without another soul in sight, he added, “I figure you’ll be extra careful. You don’t want me shooting horses.”
Cassie recoiled. “I’ll be so careful. I’m kind of surprised he set this up for us. I know you get a few days off every month, but this… It’s like it’s my birthday.”
“I’m surprised, too.” Her account of Capitán Renaud provoking her in such a crude way had made Jonathan uncomfortable. He’d assured her that it was completely out of character for their leader, an act designed to test her and nothing more. The fact that Capitán had become involved in setting up a date made him even more uneasy.
After they arrived at the stables, a woman gave them a tour. Jonathan hadn’t known that a place where horses lived could look like a giant luxury home with skylights in the high-timbered ceiling. Judging from Cassie’s reaction, she hadn’t known, either. She said the indoor arena looked perfect, but it was a sunny, clear day with temperatures in the fifties, and she wanted to ride outside. She told the woman, “He’s never ridden before. If you’ve got, like, a really placid mare, that would be great.” She darted a quick look at Jonathan, as if she feared he’d be offended.
“Sure,” the woman said. “He can take Dicey.”
“Dicey,” Jonathan repeated. It didn’t sound like
the best name for a first horse.
“She’s white with black markings. Don’t worry, she’s been walking this same trail for years. Doesn’t matter who’s on her, she’ll plod right along.”
As he and Cassie followed her to meet Dicey, Cassie said to him quietly, “Thanks for not acting embarrassed about not knowing how to ride.”
“I want the calmest horse they’ve got. I don’t need to be breaking my arm on a day off.”
Cassie chose a gorgeous reddish-brown horse with a white stripe on his head—a quarter horse, they said. Once outside, Cassie showed Jonathan how to get on Dicey. She teased him, saying, “Ooh, you’re good at mounting.”
“Nice single entendre.” He peered down. “I feel like I’m pretty high up here.”
She laughed. “You’re almost too big for her as it is.” She showed him how to take the reins, but as they started on the trail, she made corrections. “Get your hands closer in. Like here, in front of your saddle.” He complied. “Bring your elbows in, though—thumbs up, like this. Good. Keep them there. Just relax.” She looked up and took in a deep breath. “Isn’t it nice to be outside?”
“Yeah.” Jonathan leaned forward in his saddle.
“Okay, you’re squeezing her with your legs too hard.”
He grumbled, “I don’t want to fall off.”
“I know, but you’ll freak her out if you grip too tight.” He eased up. “There you go. Just sit up straight.” She grinned over her shoulder at him. Her body seemed to move effortlessly with the horse beneath her, and it was clear that she felt like herself, wild and free.
There was no reason why she couldn’t stay at El Dédalo with him indefinitely. She could do whatever she wanted. Learn Spanish, go to the shooting range with him, make friends… She urged her horse into a brisker trot, and he envisioned them breaking into a gallop and leaving him far behind.
Cassie was sorry to have to leave a few hours later. They began the drive back to El Dédalo, and with every mile, the worries that had plagued her brain showed up again, like one crow after another coming to rest on a telephone wire. “I wish we didn’t have to go back so soon.”
His features arranged themselves into a guarded expression. “You really think it’s so bad there?”
She was insulting his home. “It’s not the place. It’s just— I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. Or the codex.”
He trained his eyes on the road. “What do you want to happen?”
“I don’t even know. They could buy the codex from me, maybe? And let me go back to my regular life?” She wasn’t even sure of that. Her regular life had been kind of sucking prior to all this, and not only in ways that a pile of money could fix. She’d wanted to do something real or important with her life. “They can’t release me and wipe my memory. I wouldn’t remember to control it. There would be more attacks.”
“They wouldn’t let you go that way,” he agreed.
Her frustration boiled higher. “I have no idea what’s going to happen to me here. Am I going to be a prisoner for life?” She squirmed against the seat belt as though it were suddenly binding her fast. “If they found a way to reverse it, then they could make me forget everything and take the codex. Because I wouldn’t know any different.”
Unexpectedly, he pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned off the engine. Cassie blinked at him. What the hell was he doing?
He turned to her. “I’m not letting them wipe your memory.”
Before, he’d told her he’d try to prevent that. “How can you say that? It’s not up to you. And these guys are your whole…everything. Have you ever once not done what they told you?”
“No, never.” His gray-blue eyes held hers in a steady gaze. “But my loyalty is to you first. I’m not letting anyone hurt you.”
She stared at him in disbelief. He leaned in and kissed her deeply, cupping her cheek and stroking his thumb along it. His tenderness melted her.
He broke off the kiss to say, “Cassie, I love you.”
Her heart jumped, a stutter of joy that switched to alarm. “You can’t know that yet.”
His face, so close to hers, held certainty and devotion, both demanding acknowledgement. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
She wanted to believe him, but panic tightened her throat. She and Rick hadn’t dated very long before getting engaged. Right away, he’d told her he loved her. She’d said it back automatically and then convinced herself it was true. He’d turned out to be the kind of person who’d said a lot of things—to clients, to friends, to everyone—in order to get what he wanted.
Jonathan was nothing like that. But how could she have earned such an absolute declaration in such a short time? He might be misjudging himself. She couldn’t take that chance, not when her own feelings for him were so strong.
A more terrible thought prowled into her mind. Couples who stayed together, even if they loved each other very much, could have vicious fights. The people one loved most could bear the brunt of one’s worst behavior. Maybe she shouldn’t have gotten involved with him, after all. She could kill him.
She looked away. “It’s too soon.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed. He wasn’t just hurt, but angry. She understood why. They’d grown so close, so quickly. But she wasn’t the only one who knew how to control a temper. He only said, “I thought you should know,” and then he started the car and pulled back onto the road again.
A heavy weight settled on her chest. She’d ruined their whole day. Or maybe he was the one who’d done that.
“This is embarrassing,” Cassie muttered to Val the next afternoon. “You’re always calming me down.”
“Well, I’m good at it,” she pointed out calmly. “Besides, it’s okay to get help sometimes. You’ll live a lot longer if you realize that.”
“You’re right. Which is kind of annoying.” She gave a small smile.
Cassie’s thoughts continued to stomp out an ever-deepening circular path of distress and indecision in her mind. Should she have told Jonathan she loved him, too? Could she even know that yet?
They’d managed to converse about other things before they’d gotten back to El Dédalo—more or less acting as though everything was okay, when it was actually painful and awkward. Neither of them had suggested spending the night together.
She cared about him, a lot. He understood her better than anyone, and every time he touched her, he set her mind reeling. He fascinated her, and his sense of honor and goodness filled her heart. She would do almost anything to make him happy.
“How much can you tell about what I’m feeling?” she asked Val.
“I’d rather not say. It makes people uncomfortable.”
“If it bothered me, I wouldn’t ask.”
She gave a rueful smile. “I don’t think that’s necessarily true. But I know that you’re—agitated. Regretful, scared…and filled with love.” Cassie swallowed hard. Val couldn’t feel things that weren’t there. “And I’m guessing it must be all about Jonathan.”
Cassie ran her finger along the Lego table. “You know him really well.”
“I’ve known him forever. His brother, too, of course. Our parents are good friends.” Cassie supposed she meant they were good friends, in the case of Jonathan’s mom. “We all played together when we were little children in Saint Augustine. And when we were older, we were all in Cairo. Our families would get together for dinner every Sunday night. And then sometimes, we kids would watch an American movie on DVD or Japanese anime.”
“I didn’t know Jonathan was into anime.”
Val smiled. “He isn’t. I lived in Tokyo before Cairo, and I was always trying to get them to watch these shows I liked. And I didn’t usually get my way, since I was younger. They liked some of it, though.”
Envy flickered through Cassie because Val had known him for so long. “What was Jonathan like with his other girlfriends?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Was he ni
ce to them all the time?” Rick had treated her well when they were first dating. After they’d gotten married and he didn’t need to win her over any more, things had changed fast.
“I was never around him and Sophie Kazakov,” she said carefully. “Or the girl he dated when he was at West Point.”
“You probably heard things. I just want to know if he was a good boyfriend.”
She straightened in her seat. “I can’t help you. He talked to me about you yesterday. I have to keep both of your confidences.”
Cassie wanted answers, and she employed her usual strategy: a direct attack. “He told me he loved me yesterday. Did he tell you that?”
She slumped and rested her forehead on her hands. “I was afraid of that.”
Cassie knew Val would talk now. “I didn’t say it back. It’s been a really short time, and I don’t know if I can believe him.”
She lifted her head again. “You can’t tell anyone I’m talking to you about this. Not Johnny, not anyone, ever.”
Cassie nodded.
“He made a strong connection to you from the moment he Read you. Walking into anyone’s soul is always an emotional experience. And he thought you were beautiful, and courageous, and open with your feelings… He was completely taken with you. Every time he’s around you, or talking about you, I feel what he’s feeling, and it’s this weird mix of domineering lust and…total adoration. And he’s not changeable by nature.”
Cassie squirmed. Even though she’d asked, the intimacy of the disclosure made her soul feel bare.
Val gave a half shake of her head. “I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Am I?” This didn’t require an answer. The Mage knew everything Cassie was feeling, anyway. “You’re in love with him. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be telling you this. It never seemed like you were afraid of it. You burn like a wildfire—bright and reckless.” Val’s talent at describing her emotions unsettled her even more. “Why are you retreating now?”