He snorted. "You say that ... but that's what always happened in the past. One wrong sound or move and my conjunctive rights were instantly revoked. Sometimes for a month or more as punitive actions for it."
"Conjunctive rights? Really? That's what they termed them?"
Nodding, he bent his head down so that he could blow a cool breath across her nipple.
She frowned as another awful thought went through her. "So how many different mistresses have you have over the years?"
He pulled back with a grimace. "Not that many. My grandmother had this uncanny ability to know whenever I was about to sign a new contract, and kept throwing my ass in prison right before I could make the meetings. Honestly, I think Merrell, Chrisen, or Nyran kept putting her up to it to make sure I stayed sexually frustrated."
Had she heard that correctly?
Ushara cupped his chin and forced him to meet her gaze. "Prison?"
He nodded. When he went to dip his head again, she stopped him.
"Jullien? What prison? When? I didn't see that in your records. Only a couple of arrests. But no real jail time. According to your files, you were always released."
He let out a bitter laugh. "There's a lot of shit that doesn't show up in my records. As for the prison, my grandmother has her own special hell that she keeps beneath the palace in Eris called the vorgate. There are only two entrances. One in her bedroom and the other from the rooms of her personal bodyguard. It's reserved for the captives she can't afford to have in other prisons or dispose of through regular channels. It's where a large number of my family met their final fate and where one particularly mouthy tahrs spent a significant portion of his formative years."
Her heart lurching, she kissed his brow. "I'm so sorry."
He shrugged. "It's okay. At least down there, I didn't have to worry about one of my cousins knifing me while I slept. And you can always tell in photos whenever I'd just come up from a stint in her personal playground."
"How so?"
"I'm usually thinner. A lot paler and either squinting or wearing really dark sunglasses, even indoors."
Saint Sarn, she knew exactly the photos he was talking about. He also appeared very nervous or agitated in them.
No wonder.
"When were you in--"
"Shara," he breathed, cutting her off. "If you don't mind, I'd really rather not talk about it. I don't want to think about the past right now. I'd rather just be here with you, and savor every second of this."
Tears choked her. That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. "Okay."
He carefully positioned his body between her legs and kissed her before he slid himself inside her again.
Biting her lip, she cradled his hips with her legs as she ran her hands through his hair and watched him watching her. The feral light in his eyes scorched her while he nuzzled her neck and growled in her ear. This time, he made love to her ferociously.
And when he was spent, he lay in her arms and allowed her to cuddle and hold him until he finally fell into a fitful asleep. Ushara brushed her hand over his scarred body and winced at the pain it catalogued. No wonder he hadn't flinched at the beating Silig and them had given him. If she'd held any doubts about the veracity of his claims over the vorgate, that alone would have told her that he hadn't exaggerated his past in the least. Only someone used to being beaten could have taken that and kept going.
You are so different from Chaz.
Her husband had been a pacifist. A very, very rare beast for an Andarion. Outgoing and extraverted to an irritating level, Chaz had kept himself forever surrounded by friends and family. To the point, she'd been forced to put her foot down and demand alone time with him.
She couldn't have found two males more different had she quested for polar opposites. Yet even though he was wanted and hunted, Jullien made her feel so safe.
How peculiar was that?
It made no sense whatsoever. He calmed her and excited her. Both at the same time. He was charming and unnerving. Belligerent and sweet.
Ever a surprise.
Ever unexpected. But they had no future together and she knew that. She couldn't bring a male into her life who was this hunted and hated. Not with a Thrill-Kill warrant. He was a danger to anyone near him. A danger to Vasili.
I have to find the strength to let you go.
And break both our hearts.
*
Ushara came out of the bathroom to the most delectable smell of her life. And the sweetest thing she'd ever seen.
Jullien had prepared a morning feast for her. Complete with fresh flowers, freshly squeezed juice, sliced fruit and the sexiest male who'd ever stood on two legs cooking in front of a stove she hadn't even known could make those mouthwatering aromas permeate her home.
As she entered her kitchen to find him humming a cheerful song, a jolt of horror went through her. "Dear gods, you're a morning Androkyn, aren't you?"
Laughing, he winked at her as he handed her fresh, hand-squeezed juice. "Sadly, yes. Especially after a night so sweet."
Then he amazed her even more by not just merely giving her the breakfast, he flipped the meat and eggs from the frying pans to the plate. Threw the plate up high enough to clear his shoulder, twirled, caught it and turned to present it to her with a mind-boggling flair and skill.
"I don't know what impresses me more. The fact you can do that at all, or the fact you can do it at this unholy hour of the morning. My eye-hand coordination doesn't kick in for another three hours."
Laughing again, he made a flourish of adding spices to her food and garnish before he set it down in front of her. And then, he sprinkled a bit of cheese over it all. He headed to the oven to pull out a tray of assorted pastries.
"You did all this while I was showering?"
"Told you I spent a lot of time in the palace kitchen."
"That you did." She took a bite and then moaned out loud at the savory goodness of it. "Oh dear gods, Jules! Forget working in the bay. We need to move you to the restaurant guilds. This is unbelievable!"
He pulled one of the rolls apart and smeared a creamy concoction over it. "You haven't tasted the best of it." He held it out toward her.
She opened her mouth and allowed him to place it on her tongue, then had to agree. "We could make a killing with this."
Smiling, he ate the other half.
As she reached for more pastries, the front door opened.
Jullien went pale. A wild look darkened his eyes. One that worsened as Vasili skipped into the kitchen with a wide smile.
"What is that deliciousness I smell?"
Jullien gulped audibly. "Um ... um..."
Ushara laughed at his panic.
He glanced at her, then Vasili. "I was bringing some reports by this morning for the admiral, and I ... um..."
She laughed even harder as Vasili sidled over to look at what was on her plate and she hugged her son. "Relax, Jullien. He knows you spent the night here. I don't keep secrets from my child." She kissed his cheek as Jullien finally calmed down.
Vasili cast a greedy eye at the pastries. "May I have some?"
"Sure." Jullien handed him the spread and knife, then a plate and napkin. "Want some eggs and ham?"
"Oh yeah!" Vasili took a seat while Jullien went to make them. "So, Mum. Why can't you cook like this?"
"Gee, thanks, Vas. Why can't you?"
"Probably because you never showed me."
"'Cause I don't know how."
Vas nodded as he licked at his fingers. "So, Jullien, how did you learn?"
"From a gourmet cook on Andaria who loved to experiment with different cuisines and spices. Not to mention, I like to eat. A lot." Jullien set the plate in front of Vasili.
Ushara checked the time. "You better hurry, babe. You don't have long before school."
"I know. I'm sorry I disturbed the two of you, but I left a book in my room yesterday. I swear I thought I'd grabbed them all. Somehow it leaped out of my backpack when I
Ushara laughed. "It happens. And don't forget to pick up your recs from your teachers for temple. Tomorrow's the last day to turn those in."
"Okay."
"He's going through Confirmation?"
She nodded proudly. "He's growing up way too fast."
Vasili popped his head around the corner. "Would you like to go to temple with us tomorrow, Jullien?"
The request surprised him. He glanced to Ushara to see what she thought of the idea, but he couldn't gauge her reaction.
She merely arched an amused brow. "Vas ... I'm sure Jullien's Yllam Orthodox. I doubt he'd want to attend our temple."
"Oh..."
Now it was Jullien's turn to arch his brow at her. "Are you Demurrists?"
She nodded. "Most Fyrebloods are."
Vas frowned as he rejoined them. "Is there much difference?"
"Enough that Jullien's great-grandfather systematically jailed and executed a large number of our practitioners for blasphemy against Asukar and the crown, and that to this day, there are no Demur temples allowed in any Andarion held territory or outpost. Any Androkyn found possessing a symbol of our faith in their empire is subject to arrest, imprisonment, or execution for it."
Vas gaped. "Really?"
"Those were my grandmother's Laws of Purification. My mother has been much more lenient about enforcing them." Jullien turned toward Vasili. "As for your offer, I would be honored to attend temple with you, provided your mother doesn't mind. I have no problem with the followers of Kadora. Goddess knows, they've been far kinder to me than the Asukarians."
Ushara cocked her head. "Yeah, but--"
"I was never confirmed in the faith," he said, knowing the protest she was about to make. "While I was forced to go to temple as tahrs, the priests refused me communion and all holy rites, including exordiom and Confirmation."
Ushara gasped at something that would have been a public embarrassment every week for him to endure. And without exordiom, he wouldn't have been allowed some of the most basic Andarion customs such as burial rites when he died. And if one believed their priests, he wouldn't be allowed into the blessed lands of Eweyne without it, either, but rather would be condemned to eternal suffering in Tophet. "Why?"
"Half-human. I'm unfit for benediction and redemption."
"Wait ... your brother was given exordiom. I saw photos of the ceremony when he was an infant."
"My brother was eldest born and heir. As such, my mother forced them to honor him. I wasn't allowed in for his services. And after he was supposedly killed, she was too indisposed to be concerned with my immortal soul. So to answer your concerns, I won't be violating either temple doctrine to attend with you.... Don't worry. I won't embarrass you. I'm well aware that I can't take your communion, or the sacred-affirmations."
"That never occurred to me and we would be honored to have you join us."
Vasili cheered before he ran back to his room.
Ushara's link went off while Jullien cleaned up Vas's plate.
At her sound of irritation, he turned. "Something wrong?"
"I have to run." Then louder, she called. "Vas? I need you to hurry. I have to go."
"I can get him to school for you, if you need to go on."
She looked up with a gape. "Really?"
"Sure. I'll finish cleaning this and head right out. We can lock up without a problem and get him to school on time."
The smile on her face warmed him. "You are wonderful." But nothing was as wonderful as the kiss she gave him.
Closing his eyes, Jullien savored the taste of her.
She nipped his lips before she pulled away. "I'll see you later, handsome."
He could barely think straight as she left, and he quickly set the kitchen to rights. He gathered his things and Vas, then walked him to school while the boy chattered incessantly. Even so, he liked the kid a lot. That being said though, he had no idea why the boy liked hanging out with him. Yet he did.
When they reached the school, Vas hesitated.
"Did you forget something?"
Vas tugged at his ear, then shook his head. With an adorable bashful move, he stepped into Jullien's arms and gave him a quick hug. Then he dashed off like battle-lorinas were after him.
Jullien grinned, warmed by the gesture. He waited until he was sure Vas was safely inside before he went to work.
But the strange normality of the day wasn't lost on him. How weird that here in this Tavali base with some of the most dangerous creatures in the universe he felt safe for the first time in his life.
Yeah, it was off.
And it was payday, he realized as he saw the bright orange slip in his locker. Grateful, he took it to the accounting office to trade it in first. But when they handed him the cred envelope, he knew it was a mistake.
He headed straight to Sheila's office where she was already in full rage mode with someone on the other end of her link. Yeah, he didn't really want to be on the receiving of that. Waiting patiently until she'd fully vented spleen and insulted every member of their gene pool, Jullien went inside to speak with her.
After slamming a few things around on her desk, she glared at him. "What's your damage?"
"Head injury at birth. Lack of parental love and support. Oppositional defiant disorder. And a blatant disregard for authority figures, particularly those in uniform and with badges. But that's not why I'm here."
That succeeded in making her laugh. "All right, Dagger. What do you need?"
He handed her the extra creds from his pay. "There was a mistake with my voucher. I wanted to make sure it got back to you."
Her gaze softened before she returned it to him. "There was no mistake. It's yours."
"I don't understand."
"It's a bonus, and a raise. You work harder than anyone else on my crew. Most days you do the work of three, and don't think I haven't noticed. You don't take all your breaks. You don't laze around or socialize. You come in, go straight to, and don't stop until you clock out. Plus I heard what you did yesterday. Admiral Trajen offered you that ship and you passed on it. It ain't right for you to take nothing when you could have had it all to yourself."
"Sheila--"
"Don't go getting soft on me, shithead. You know how I feel about that."
He grinned. "Okay."
"You earned that, boy. And you got a ship out there that needs to be stripped and cleansed for resale."
"Yes, ma'am." He started to leave.
"And Dagger?"
He paused to look back at her.
"You're a good male. Thank you for understanding why I'm such a bitch all the time. Ain't many what do. And for thinking about my daughter. I really appreciate it. You ever need anything, you let me know."
Inclining his head to her, he headed off to work.
*
"That was unproductive."
Ushara snorted at her council as they finished their video conference with the Tavali Qillaq ambassador. "Yeah well, I'm not interested in helping the Qill start a war. Officially. Trajen would kill us all. What the pilots do independently is on them. As a Nation, we are not getting involved in that mess. Now, if you'll excuse me?" She left the briefing room and headed for her office.
It had been a miserably long day. Dreadful to extremes. Nothing could make her smile at this point.
"Are you all right, Admiral?"
She growled at her receptionist. "I need a jug of painkillers."
Tyra laughed. "There's some in your top desk drawer. Should I get you a fresh bottle of water?"
"I would love you for it."
"Yes, ma'am." She got up to fetch some.
Ushara fell into her chair and opened the drawer. But instead of seeing the painkillers, her gaze fell to a single rose wrapped in a gold ribbon. A small card and beautiful bracelet was tied to the end of it. Her heart quickening, she pulled them free and opened the card to see a bold, masculine script.
Mu Kira,
I hope this brings the same smile to your heart that you have brought to mine.
Faithfully yours.
Even though it was unsigned, she knew it was from Jullien. Pressing her lips together, she swallowed hard at the winged heart bracelet. On Andaria, these were never lightly given. And as she turned the heart over and saw that he had engraved her initial in front on the right wing and his was hidden on the back, beneath the left, she knew that he'd understood the gift and had done it with full knowledge of its significance.
These were reserved for Andarions who dared fall in love with those considered out of their caste. Star-crossed lovers who were forbidden by law to have a relationship.
It was a symbol of unrequited love or that which was unattainable.
And it was always given by the one who held the lower caste standing, and offered humbly to the one they deemed themselves unworthy of having--which was why her initial was on the front right and his hidden in the back, on the left.
Tears choked her as she cradled it in her hand.
"Admiral?"
Ushara cleared her throat. "Sorry. Did you see who brought this?"
"Brought what? No one's been in your office."
Leave it to Jullien. Her phantom prince. "Nothing." She held her hand out for the water and took it.
Ushara fastened the bracelet to her wrist and watched the way the light played in the red crystal. Her gaze fell from it to the picture on her desk of Vasili and Chaz that had been taken just days before Chaz's death. They were laughing and waving at her. It was the last time she'd seen that untainted happiness in her son's eyes.
Until today.
Why did he respond to Jullien the way he did? It made no logical sense.
"Admiral?"
She looked up at Zellen's voice to find him standing in her doorway. "Yes?"
He came forward with his link and handed it to her. "Your brother Dimitri just sent this over and he wanted me to make sure you saw it immediately. I told him I'd put it in your hand myself."
His ominous tone was terrifying. She clicked the news report and waited for the file to load.
A reporter stood outside the Overseer's Trigon Court on Gondara. "While details are currently sketchy, the reports are confirmed that it was the Outcast Andarion prince Jullien eton Anatole who raped and robbed the victim last night. In response to this latest heinous move, The League has increased the warrant on his life and updated the charges. We've been trying to get a statement from Anatole's parents, but neither the Andarion tadara nor Triosan emperor will comment publicly. The most we have is a statement from the Triosan ambassador who assures everyone that they will not harbor any fugitive from League justice and that Anatole has no landing privileges or haven within their empire. Likewise, the Andarion ambassador has confirmed that Anatole was officially Outcast from their society and holds no rank or protection under Andarion law."
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