"And my wife holds mine. Therefore, you better damn well fear me, and you should be quaking before her."
"Your wife?"
Jullien stepped back to bow toward Ushara. "I believe you are more than acquainted with her."
Malys paled instantly as she finally understood the full dynamic of what was happening.
Ushara closed the distance between them while Malys leaned in to whisper near Jullien's ear.
"Are you wearing those glasses for the reason I suspect?"
"Yes."
She paled even more. "It appears I've overstepped my bounds, Admiral Altaan. However, it's imperative that I get our ships and cargo out of here as soon as possible. What accommodations can you make?"
"I'll get our CP right on it, and let you know. Please feel free to partake of our hospitality until then." Ushara stepped back. "Zellen? Would you provide an escort for our Porturnum guests and make sure they're cared for until we can see them on their way?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Jullien didn't speak until they were gone. "Nice code for watch them."
She snorted, then grimaced at him. "I thought you wanted to keep our marriage a secret."
Screwing his face up into an adorable expression, he scratched at his whiskered cheeks. Now that was the less-than-cocksure Jules she knew so well. "Yeah, I screwed up. And we're all lucky I didn't deck her. If she'd taken one more step at you ... it wouldn't have been pretty for any of us. What's the penalty for assaulting a HAP's wife?"
"You don't want to know."
"Didn't think so."
Her heart quickened as she tried to see him through those dark glasses. She reached up and removed them. Instead of red, his irises were green, but not their usual hazel color. "What's wrong with your eyes?"
"They're colored contacts to hide the stralen."
"Is that safe?"
He blinked a few times as if they annoyed him. "It limits my peripheral a little, but not too badly. I've got this set and a pair of solid white ones so that I can look full-blooded. I thought I'd let you pick the ones you preferred since you're the one who has to see them."
She folded his glasses and handed them to him. "I like your real eyes, whatever color they are. It makes no never mind to me so long as you're happy with them.... But," she paused to smile up at him. "I have to admit to having a preference for the stralen. Only because when I see them, I know it means you're still mine."
"That I will always be."
Ushara bit her lip as she ran her hand along his scarf. "Tavali looks good on you."
"Good enough to eat?" he teased lightly.
She laughed. "Someone might overhear you."
"It's not the overhearing that concerns me." He cast a pointed stare downward.
Ushara followed the line of his gaze to see the large bulge that was quite evident in his tight pants. Her husband had been rather gifted by the gods in that department. Heat exploded over her face.
Clearing his throat, Jullien reached behind his back to untie his coat. "Don't move away for second," he said under his breath.
"I should."
"Only if you want to embarrass us both." He quickly buttoned his coat all the way down and folded his arms over his chest. "I'm heading to work now. You?"
"Work."
He gave a charming nod before he took a step back. "Oh, I forgot to mention that I have a new link." He pulled it out. "I need your digits again."
"What happened to your other one?"
"Got compromised."
"How so?"
When he didn't answer, she became worried. "Jules?"
"A threat came through. No idea how they traced me."
"Viable?"
"Enough that I destroyed it."
Her heart sank at the thought of what he'd lost. "Did you salvage anything?"
He shook his head. "Wasn't worth the risk."
"You have nothing left from it?"
"I don't need anything from my past."
No! Tears filled her eyes as she thought about the picture of his parents. It was all he'd been able to keep from his former life.
Now he had nothing whatsoever.
Not a single memory at all.
"Keramon--"
"Don't, Shara," he said sharply. "I'm not like you. I don't have those happy memories of a warm childhood that I want to hang on to. Really, I'm okay with letting go. There's absolutely nothing I want from my past except to forget it ever happened. As far as I'm concerned, my life began when I opened my eyes on Gavin's ship and saw you standing over me."
Choking on a sob, she hugged him. "I love you so much."
"Not the way to keep our marriage a secret, love."
"I know." She kissed his cheek, then linked their lines. "Go to work. Try not to go to jail."
He snorted irritably. "Make no promises."
Shaking her head, she watched as he headed toward Sheila's office.
Dayam. That loping swagger ...
She wanted to follow him, rip those clothes off, pin him to the nearest wall and ride that long hard body until he begged her for mercy. How strange that she'd never felt this degree of desire for Chaz.
But then Chaz have never looked like that.
"You are drooling, kisa."
Ushara growled at the sound of Ryna's voice in her ear. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to give you a heads-up that Paka knows about your marriage."
She went cold with dread at those unexpected words. Crap ... "What? How?"
"You know how it goes. Zellen told his wife who called her sister who called her sister who called her friend who called our mother who ran to Paka who is now furious at you." Ryna hugged her. "For what it's worth, I'm on your side. So are the twins and Mary."
"Thank you."
Pressing her cheek to Ushara's, Ryna purred in her ear. "He has a fine little ass, doesn't he?"
"You're not supposed to be ogling my husband's ass, sister."
She stuttered. "I can't help the fact he's bending over in that office. You think Sheila dropped her stylus on purpose?"
"Are you trying to piss me off?"
Ryna laughed. "Sorry. I'll stop admiring his ass now."
"So how mad is Paka?"
"On a scale of one to ten ... about thirty."
Ushara cringed. "Great. Let me deal with Venik, then I'll deal with this."
How much worse was this day going to get?
And when she'd asked that question, she'd meant for it to be rhetorical, not a personal challenge to the gods. Yet everything went wrong for the rest of the day.
Everything.
By the time she'd found transport for Malys and crew, and had a workable solution for them, she'd been ready to pull her hair out from dealing with the older shrew.
She was already two hours late heading home and her nerves were raw and ravaged, ready to break in half.
Exhausted and irritable, she opened her door and was greeted by the foreign sound of raucous laughter. And clashing metal. Sounds of battle and cursing.
What the...?
Curious and a little worried, Ushara went to the back courtyard where the door was ajar to find Jullien and Vasili outside, playing with toy battle drones. They were attacking each other's "beast" and insulting their abilities, and running around like two small kids. She'd never seen anything like this as they went in circles around each other with total careless abandon, jumping over furniture, shrubs, and each other.
"I thought you said you were good at this, chizzi?" Jullien ducked as Vas's drone fired at his head and narrowly missed it.
"Ha! You're old, zumi!"
"Old? Ha! I'm the one winning."
Vasili blew him a raspberry as Jullien stumbled and almost tripped over a potted plant. "You're not winning. Falling on top of it 'cause you're fat doesn't mean you won."
"I'm not fat," he said indignantly as he continued to fight. "I'm fluffy."
Vasili turned his entire body as he attempted to control his drone to
Laughing at them and the fact that they didn't stop for anything--not even when Jullien stepped in a bowl of plant water and Vas ran into her wind chimes and became tangled with them, she pushed the door open to watch a few more minutes of their adorable play. "What are you two lunatics doing?"
They froze and the drones instantly crashed to the ground.
"We didn't have them in the house." Jullien said that so fast and defensively it made her wonder how many times he'd gotten into trouble as a child for playing with drones in the palace.
"I figured as much. Where did they come from?"
Vasili picked his up and ran it to her. "We built them! Aren't they neat?"
She was in awe of the intricate devices. "Yes, they are."
Vas turned it over to show her the propulsion gears and tanks they'd used. "Jullien was teaching me about engineering. This was part of my project."
Ushara smiled at Vas's exuberance. She'd never seen him happier. Jullien still looked as if he were afraid he'd done something wrong and was waiting for her to start yelling at him for it.
While Vas explained the drone to her, Jullien went inside.
Subdued and unusually quiet, he came back a few minutes later with a small serving tray of food for her.
Stunned at the unexpected bounty, she gaped at him. "What's this?"
"Dinner. We already ate. We would have waited, but we didn't know how long you'd be and Vas was starving. So we kept yours warm for you."
Touching her heart, she smiled up at him, grateful beyond measure for his kindness. "This is why I love you."
He gave her a bashful smile before he pulled away.
Vas grabbed his drone from her hands. "Rematch!"
The smile finally returned to Jullien's face as he ran after him. "You're on, bryth! Arm up!"
Smiling at them, she watched their war while she ate. Jullien had just conceded defeat when her door rang.
"I'll get it," she said, rising with her plate to carry it back inside. She set everything in the kitchen and noted how clean Jullien had left it all before she went to see who was visiting.
It was her father and grandfather. How strange for them to ring, though. They never did such, which told her exactly how furious her father was over her marriage that he would be so formal. He must have assumed she'd still be at work. Or he was doing this to be a pain in her ass.
She released an exhausted sigh as she let them in. "Paka, I'm too tired tonight. Can we discuss this tomorrow?"
"We're not here for you."
Those cold words froze her to the spot. "What's that supposed to mean?"
He handed her the papers in his hand. "Dagger's been reassigned to the crew of the Night Rain. We're here to help him gear up since they're launching within the hour."
Her stomach hit the floor. "What?"
"Kirill lost one of his men. He's agreed to take Dagger on to train him."
She shoved the papers back at him. "This is bullshit. I'm not letting you to do this."
"Do what? He's a candidate. It's his duty to go where he's assigned."
"Davel--"
"Won't be traveling for awhile. Dagger has to have two full years in as a cock to be admitted to the Nation. You know the Code. He has to be active on a crew immediately for his status to stand. No one is above our laws."
She glared at her father and what he was doing.
And why.
"Kirill's a savage. And he hates Jules. You know that."
"Careful, daughter. That's your blood you're talking about."
"And this is my husband you're sending out with a vicious crew you know will treat him like shit. You do this, Paka, and I won't forgive you for it."
"It's already done."
Tears blinded her over their cruelty. She couldn't believe that this was the same male who'd preached benevolence and kindness to her, her entire life. Never judge until you've seen their circumstances.
What happened to that father?
"Where is he?" her grandfather asked.
She curled her lip at him, unable to believe he was in on this. "Follow the laughter," she said, her voice breaking on those words.
And that laughter died a few seconds later when they went outside and told Jullien to pack his gear.
"No!" Vasili screamed. "No!" His shrill cries broke her heart and made her want to claw out her father's eyes.
Jullien swallowed hard as he knelt on the ground by Vasili's side and handed him his controller. "It's okay, luden. I'll be back before you know it. Just remember to keep your grades up, and watch after your matarra for me, okay?"
Tears flowed down Vasili's face. "Will you be here for my Confirmation?"
"I'll do my best. And I'll call every chance I get."
Nodding, he hugged Jullien, who in turn held onto him. "I'll miss you, too, tana. Be a good boy for me."
"Love you, Paka."
"Love you, too." Jullien balled his fist in Vas's hair and kissed his cheek, then released him. Rising to his feet, he refused to look at her father or grandfather. Instead, he held his hand out for her. "You okay?"
"No. I'm furious."
"Don't be. And now when the seat gets left up in the bathroom you'll definitely know who to yell at."
"You're not funny."
He took her hands into his and held them to his lips to kiss them. Then he cupped her face and kissed her lips. "I was going to give this to you later tonight. But I guess I can't wait." He reached down into his pocket to pull out something he wouldn't let her see. "I know it's not much ... one day I promise I'll get you a bigger one."
Tears choked her as he slid a pitch-dark wedding ring onto her finger. The black center stone came up like a rose that was nested in dark leaves formed by the black rhodium band and white melee diamonds. The side band was a delicate, intricately carved filigree. Tiny and extremely feminine, the ring was a very unorthodox choice. "Black?"
Jullien nodded. "I don't want you to ever forget that you alone hold my dark heart. You're the only one I've ever trusted with it. And I'm leaving it here with you for safekeeping ... in your hands." He brushed his thumb over her lips. "After all, an Androkyn is never where he lives. But where he loves. And true love will always find its way through paths where even feral lorinas fear to prey. You are my Darling star, and no matter how dark the night or how perilous my journey, your divine light alone will always guide me home."
Those words shattered her heart. Sobbing, she pulled him against her and wept. In that moment, she hated her father for doing this to her.
How could he take Jullien away?
Even worse, she had nothing to give to him. He was so much more thoughtful than she was. "You better come back to me, Jullien eton Anatole."
He pulled the ring from her finger and showed her the engraving inside the band. "My oath to you, mu Ger Tarra. Any time you need me, glance at this and know that I will never fail to keep it."
Urtui aebre gevyly frag. I will never break your heart.
Jullien kissed the ring and replaced it on her finger, then kissed her softly. "I am and will ever be yours."
And with those words spoken, her father and grandfather took him to join her cousin's crew. A crew she knew would hate him for everything he'd never done.
This was wrong and she knew it. Somehow she was going to get him back. She didn't know how, but she would. Even if it meant alienating her family to do so.
*
Jullien didn't speak to Ushara's father or grandfather as they made their way to Kirill's ship. A part of him kept waiting for them to shoot him in the head so that they could collect the multimillion cred bounty on his life.
Honestly, even though they weren't licensed for it, it was what he expected.
So it was almost a relief to see that they really meant for him to board as part of Kirill's crew.
Her father roughly shoved his bag of gear into his hands. That was as close to a goodbye as they came. At least it was far kinder than the send-off his own parents had given him.
But the look in Petran's eyes was the same. He stared at him as if Jullien disgusted him. As if he were the lowest form of life to ever belly crawl from the cesspit of genetic mutations.
Kirill came down the ramp to add his glare to the group. "I've got him from here."
"Thanks," Vidarri said. "We owe you."
"No problem, Graspa. Happy to help out, anytime." Inclining his head to them, Kirill led Jullien on board, and stopped him as soon as they were inside the ship. He held his hand out. "I need your link."
Jullien started to ask why, then remembered that as a cock, he wasn't allowed to question his captain. Grinding his teeth, he dug it out of his pocket and handed it over.
Kirill dropped it to the floor and stomped it to pieces. "So you can't be a cry-baby bitch and tattle to Ushara about your treatment."
Jullien held his temper in check and said nothing. You can do this. You survived your stints in the vorgate. You can handle this bunch of pussies, too. They weren't nearly as tough as the guards and definitely not as frightening as the Ixurian inmates who'd taken their hatred of his grandmother and royal status out on him.
Kirill stood right in his face. "Are you pissed?"
Jullien blinked slowly and ignored him. One thing he'd learned from his "lovely" experiences was that non responses infuriated his tormentors much more than his smart-ass retorts.
"You think you're a badass, don't you?"
He smirked at Kirill before he quoted another passage from the Book of Harmony. "Only those who aren't, think it. Those who are, know, and don't have to prove."
Kirill curled his lip. "You think you're cute?"
"Adorably precious."
Snarling, he shoved Jullien forward, toward the cargo bay. As he headed for the crew quarters with his gear, Kirill stopped him.
"You haven't earned the right for a bed, slag. What do you think? You're a tiziran?"
That made him want to slug the bastard and Kirill was lucky he caught the urge before he had Kirill searching the floor for his fangs.
"You'll bunk in the engine room and when you prove yourself worthy, we might allow you a blanket."
Jullien felt his nostrils flaring as he followed Kirill to his new "quarters."
Over and over, he reminded himself that he'd survived a lot worse than this. Crueler tormentors with a much bigger axe to grind, who'd shoved it up his ass with a vengeance.
This too shall pass.
This would be a child's play, with a group of infants who thought they knew cruelty. They were amateurs.
Jullien stored his gear in a closet in the engine room and made his way up to the cargo bay to help secure their load for takeoff. What he quickly learned was that Kirill's attitude was contagious, and he was as welcome to their crew as a lethal STD in a whorehouse.
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