by Dawn Tomasko
Chest tight and a little short of breath, the house caged her with the jumble of emotions. Needing air and space, Sara threw open the screen door, walked out back and stood in the yard.
A whisper of breeze stirred. Hands on her hips, she closed her eyes. Once calmer, she looked around the yard, as she loved to do, to see what needed doing. What she wanted to do in the future.
The potted flowers on the porch looked a bit tired. Sara filled her watering can and gave them a drink. To redirect her mind to the positive, she pulled on gardening gloves to fuss with herbs and flowers and pull weeds.
By the time Gabriel pulled in the drive for the day's work, she'd found her zone. A full bag of weeds and dead plant material stood nearby.
In spite of the calm, she settled into, the grin she pasted on failed under his scrutiny. The happy he wore look faded when he spotted her. Nothing got past the man. Dressed in his worn work jeans, t-shirt and ball cap, he looked rugged and appealing. Closer now, he squatted down and put his hands on her shoulders.
"Something going on?"
Amazed he could read her so well, she tugged off her gardening gloves and balled them up. "Bree's coming out."
He brightened. "That's good, right?"
Sara squeezed the cotton gloves in her hands. "I hope so. The Dean gave her a job in Boston, which she doesn’t start for a few weeks, so she decided to come out the day after Memorial Day. Then she’ll head down to Connecticut to see David for a quick visit."
"And?"
Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she stood. "I want to make it right. What if she doesn't listen? What if she keeps fighting me? Gabriel, it hurts to have this between us, like I'm bleeding inside. I need to fix this."
"Breathe, Sara,” he let his arms slide down to hold her hands. "Please slow down. You can’t fix everything. She needs to own this. It takes two. Once you tell her more of the truth, she’ll understand better."
Lost in her head, she stared at his chest. "Look at me,” he demanded. "There's a lot of stuff in the way, but under it all, there's love. You did tell me the same thing about Michael, remember? Try to let it happen. Expectations can be a deterrent."
Sara nodded. "You’re right. It’s challenging to talk about David without making it seem as if I'm bad mouthing him. Bree's temper blows up every time I talk to her,” her throat tightened. "Nothing I say to her gets past the anger.” Needing comfort, she wrapped her arms around him, rested her cheek over his heart, loving the feel of his strong hold. To her astonishment, tears filled her eyes. Emotion and feelings she'd tamped down for so long rose to the surface. Try as she might, she couldn’t bank them. To her utter shock, they let loose.
Gabriel stood, holding her while she finally let some of it go.
Later, Gabriel sat on the couch with her head in his lap. He stroked his fingers through the golden red strands of her hair. "I cried,” she sniffed, congested. "Do you know the last time I cried?"
He shook his head. “You don’t know what it means that you let me be here when you did. It humbles me. When did you cry last?”
"I don’t know,” she gave a half laugh, wonder in her voice. "But the experience of allowing myself to feel, just roll with it and let go, helped.”
"Good."
"No pill, either."
He smiled down at her, stroked her forehead. "No pill."
"I'm proud of that. I feel good. Light. Thank you for being here."
He leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. "You've become important to me. You helped me, too. After Brianna's visit, I'm going home for an overnight trip to see my family. Talk to Dad and Michael."
"That's wonderful. I can come with you if you want."
He shook his head. "I appreciate it, but I need to do this myself. Once things settle down regarding my family I'd like to take you home, have you meet them. But under happier circumstances. Will you come with me then?"
"Of course.” She sat up, leaned her elbow on his thigh.
His big hands spanned her from waist to ribs, his thumbs grazed the sides of her breasts. When her breath caught, he smiled.
"So responsive,” he murmured, leaned close to glide his open mouth along her neck. Breathe her in. "You smell like flowers and sunshine."
Tilting her head to give him better access, she twined her fingers around his neck. "This is new for me."
"Feeling this way?”
Stroking the back of his neck, she nodded. "It's embarrassing, but I've come this far in life without allowing myself to open up. When we're together, it's different. So new. Maybe it's chemistry, but it's more than that. There's something about you."
"That's a huge compliment for me."
"Come on. Lots of women have chased after you. You've got quite a track record."
"They didn't mean a thing. Not one of them wanted me for who I was inside. They care about the money, the parties, the places, and connections.” Leaning forward, he looked down his nose at her. "You're different. I'm different when I'm with you."
"I don't give a damn about your money."
Gabriel chuckled. "I know you don't."
Sara's heart rate kicked up a notch. Boldly, she slid a knee across his body and straddled his lap. When her tongue snaked out to run along her bottom lip, his gaze followed. "You have a great body, but I don't like you only for your body."
With a sparkle in his eye, he raised his arms, flexed his impressive biceps. "Well, that's a relief."
He could always make her laugh. All the same, her muscles tensed. "Sometimes I'm confused by what I feel for you. I don't know where this is going."
He stilled, hands firmly gripped on her hips. "Why do we need to map it out right now? Let's try getting to know each other, enjoy our time together, and figure it out as we go along."
Sara would love to, but so many variables stood in the way. "What if it goes wrong? What if I can't give you what you need, what you want?”
"Don't over think it. If it's right, we'll know.” His voice rumbled. "So far, it feels good to me."
The bridge of her nose crinkled. "I thought it was right the first time."
Gabriel shook his head. "Did you? That's not the impression I got when you told me about it. You said you married David to be safe. Since you came here, you've learned a lot about yourself. Maybe it's time to let go."
Her fingers trailed over the roundness of his shoulders. "I can mess this up. Make you angry. Disappoint you."
"We know what that's like, don't we? We've already had some great arguments. So far, we made it. Think about that, what do you think spurred them on?”
"Honesty, because I don't want less. Humor, too. Irritation, annoyance."
Gabriel leaned forward, dipped his head to drop open-mouthed kisses along her neck. "Go a little deeper. Attraction. Passion. A clash of wills.” At the soft sound of need, she gave, he continued. "There's a pull between us, intense and complex. It deserves attention. Let's do a little research, see what we find.”
"So you're okay with going easy and natural. No pressure, no guidelines,” she covered his hands with hers.
"We're two competent adults, no rulebook."
"Casual sex?” her hands gripped harder, fingernails biting deep into the backs of his hands.
"No,” he told her, his voice hard, unyielding. "More of a freedom.” His longer fingers moved in hers, loosened their tight grip. "But there's nothing casual about this. You're not made that way."
Tired of her self-imposed rules, Sara wanted to be free. To do as she pleased, like Gabriel, who met life with eyes and heart wide open.
Would it be so bad to let go? There was a wealth of passion simmering between them. Deciding to go with it, she gripped his head, took his mouth with hers. Let herself go on instinct. Deep, open mouthed kisses, the carnal, wet slide of tongues, the nip of teeth, spurred them on. His hands touched everywhere. Her face, hair, gripped tight on her bottom.
Heat built, spread down to the core, where she moved, restless against his
hardness. Her hands roamed freely, on his shoulders, down his chest, to the hem of his shirt. When she lifted the hem, he sat up, raised his arms. The shirt fell to the floor.
She feasted her eyes on his body, sculpted and bronzed by the sun. "You're beautiful."
Being watched by those dark eyes as she explored his warm skin made her feel powerful. The firm, hard muscles responded to her touch. Her mouth followed her hands, tasted his shoulder, his collarbone, and she scraped her teeth along the firm ridge of muscle on his neck.
He hissed, fingers dug deep into her thighs. His big body shifted beneath hers, pushed his erection deep between her spread legs. A groan rumbled out of his chest when Sara's mouth worked its way down his belly.
When her hands tugged at his belt, he stilled them. "Before we go upstairs, I want you to be sure. I want you, need you and I won't want to stop."
Sara shook her head, her hair feathered over his stomach. "I won't ask if of you. We've taken it slow. We're ready."
Gabriel let his head flop back on the sofa, his hands buried themselves in her hair. "Well, I'll stop if you ask me to, but it'll kill me."
The corner of her mouth kicked up. "We can't have that, can we?"
Gabriel shifted, picked her up. As he carried her toward the stairs, her arms wound tight around his neck, breathed in her scent.
"You make me crazy. The smell of you drives me wild. Sea, salt, female. You say it's never been like this for you,” he reminded her and started the upward climb. Their weight made the old stairs creak. "It's the same for me. I'm a demanding lover, Sara,” he promised, kicked open the bedroom door. "That's what you do to me."
He walked to the bed, laid her down on the cotton coverlet. Long and tanned, his fingers released his belt buckle. Gabriel tugged, slid the belt from the loops, and dropped it to the floor with a thunk.
"I’ll ask for a lot, and give you all I have,” he promised, his fingers worked the snaps of snug jeans, slid the zipper down. Shed his pants. Knees on the bed, he crawled over her body, hands on either side of her head. His strong arms trembled.
"Give yourself to me. No fear, no inhibitions."
Sara's eyes drank him in. The dark hair, handsome face, wide shoulders, the ripple of muscle over bone. The flat belly with its line of dark hair disappearing under the waistband of his boxers.
Under her hands, his back flexed, bowed over her as his mouth explored hers. She craved skin to skin, hers to his. When she reached to unbutton her shirt, he pulled the hem from her shorts and helped pull it off.
He tossed it in the vicinity of the bedside chair, then ran the backs of his fingers along the lacy edge of her bra. Light, feathery kisses dropped along the swell of her breast made her arch toward him. She pressed his head close, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled in tight.
Emotion and her growing feelings for him rose up in a moment of panic. "Gabriel —"
Immediately he shifted back to look in her eyes.
"Did I ever tell you I can't get pregnant? Ever again. Brianna is the only child I can have."
The long silence concerned her. Would this be a deal breaker?
"What happened?"
"Miscarriages and a difficult pregnancy. I might be jumping the gun here, but if you and I end up being together long term, you need to know. You gave up on being a father, but if you're with me, there's no way, no changing your mind. Besides, I'm too old —"
“Old?” Gabriel put his fingers over her silky soft mouth. "Honey. I'm sure as hell not old, so neither are you."
Her fingers wrapped around his upper arms. "You're good with children. Maybe you should think seriously about whether or not to have them."
"We've talked about this before,” he said, so gentle and patient.
"Yes, but —"
He eased beside her on the mattress. "Sara, if you want out, say so."
"No! No, I don’t, please understand. But the way you looked at the little girl who fell in the street —"
"Yes, I do love children, but you need to trust me. You're not making me give anything up. I made the decision before we ever met. I can play with Charlotte's baby, be an honorary uncle, I hope,” he smiled. "You'll have grandchildren one day. They’ll be mine, too."
“Who are you?” Tears welled in her eyes. He had such a good heart. "You're a good man. I don't deserve —"
"Bullshit,” he told her in a harsh voice, gave her a little shake. "That's a kneejerk reaction. Sweetheart, you are good. Your heart and emotions run so deep it'll take me a long time to get to know you the way I want to. Believe me, I’m in no hurry.” With his thumbs, he wiped away the wetness from her cheeks.
"I'm sorry. I'm a pain in the neck. You know I've always got to have things worked out.”
"Really?” he grinned down at her. "I hadn't noticed."
"Wise ass.” Then she slipped her arms out of her bra straps. One handed, he unhooked the back and tossed it in the direction of her shirt.
"Look at you,” he whispered, and filled his hands with her breasts. His long fingers stroked the sensitive skin, his lips traced over the pale, blue-veined mounds. "Soft as a rose. You're perfect, exactly the way I pictured. Made for me."
"I want to feel your skin on mine,” she tugged on his shoulders, and he lowered himself down over her. On a soft sigh, she smiled, loved the weight of him pressed against her. "I've thought about this so much. Your body drives me crazy."
"Sara,” he started.
"If I can take a compliment so can you. Being near you makes me feel feminine. Sexy. Bree would say you're totally hot."
A choked laugh escaped him, and he rolled to lay flat on the bed. He dragged her knee across his body, so she sat astride him. "Probably because I can't keep my eyes off you. When I look at you, I want to howl at the moon."
Hands on his chest, she threw her head back and laughed. "The way you look right now, all dark, sexy and wild, I can picture that."
His gaze traveled over her bare skin. Long fingers slid around her waist, tilted her forward and slid beneath the hem of her shorts to cup her bottom.
Sara kissed him softly, then he dipped his head to capture a rosy nipple in his mouth. The little bud tightened, he eased the ache with his tongue. Pleasure darted through her, and she gripped the back of his head closer. Gabriel loosened her shorts, slipped them down along with her underwear.
Deftly, she slipped her fingers under the edge of his boxers, rubbed the taut skin of his belly, lower and lower. "You're so warm,” she murmured in quiet wonder. "I love your smell. There's no way to describe it. Just…Gabriel."
"To me, your scent is like an infusion of the sea, salt, and a whisper of the flowers you love so much. You’ve haunted me since I first saw you alone on that beach, standing knee deep in icy seawater.”
They dragged his boxers off, kicked them to the floor. Cheeks heating, she stared down at him. Big like the rest of him. The sight of him, rigid, ready and all hers, brought her excitement to a whole new level.
"Sara."
"Mmm?"
Gabriel’s hands traveled over her body, gripping firmly in places and softly soothing in others. "I had a physical, all the tests. There's been no one else in a long while. I'm safe. So if you're okay with it, I don't have condoms with me."
Pleased he would know how much it mattered, she smiled. “I got tested, too. After all, there was a third person involved."
Gabriel grimaced. "Yeah, and I'm sorry for that. I'll make you a promise. You're all I want. All I need. There will be no one else. If it ever changes, and I can't see that happening, I'll tell you."
"Deal. Now that we worked it all out let's make love.”
Chapter Fifteen
Gabriel proved as thorough in his lovemaking as on the job. Details, large or small, didn't escape him. There was intensity in each word, soft touch or rough caress as he patiently drove them higher and higher.
Skillfully, he brought her to a fever pitch until she nearly begged him. When at last he slid into he
r, she cried out at the full pressure and the intimacy. Eyes locked on hers, Gabriel pressed and held, suspended both of them, as time pulsed out. Pleasure bloomed, heated her body from the inside out. Then he began to move. Slow at first, lusciously savoring, then faster. Sara matched him move for move. Then her inner muscles tightened, coiled sharply, the build nearly unbearable. Poised on the sharp edge, startled by the intensity, she held back.
"Let go,” he growled in her ear, as he slid his body in and out of hers. His body coaxed hers, pushed in a relentless rhythm. "It's alright. I have you. Let go, Sara."
Tossed over the edge, sensation crashed through her body, pulsed on forever. Gabriel used his words, mouth, and body to wring every ounce of pleasure from her. His name fell from her lips over and over.
But he wasn't finished. He picked up the pace, grasped her hips in his hands. Greedily he ravaged her mouth, panted in her ear, into the curve of her neck.
"Bring your knees up, baby,” he ground out, "come with me, again. Give me more. Once isn't enough.” Fast and furious, his hips worked until she splintered apart again, her head flung back, hair streamed across the pillow. Everything blotted out except for Gabriel, Gabriel, as he pumped into her, with her, around her.
The sweetest joy of all was the sound of her name wrung from his throat.
They woke to the ring of Gabriel's cell phone.
Sleepy, Sara stirred, her face warm against his lightly furred chest. "Do you want to get it?"
"Let it go to voicemail,” he murmured in a slumberous voice, then ran his mouth down the side of her neck. With a shift to give him better access, she wrapped her arms around him. "This is the second time I’ve woken up next to you. This time's better than the first. Let me cook breakfast for you."
Heart soaring, she smiled. "Deal. How about pancakes?”
The cell rang again.
"Damn it.” He levered himself off the bed, fished through his pants for his phone. Sara couldn’t help the silly grin on her face at the sight of his hair, as it stuck up in ten different directions. The sight of him gloriously naked in her bedroom, sunlight streaming through the windows, fanned the fire again.